₦airaland Forum

barclosky4:
Oga it is very Bad ooh, your not normal believe me.

XhosaNostra:
What happened in that relationship from your teens? That could be where it all began.
I knew someone who told me that he lost his 1st love because she was forced to marry someone else. I think that experience had a tremendous impact on him because he'd fight tooth & nail to avoid situations where he'd have to be vulnerable. He also CRAVED affection, but when he felt himself reciprocating, the inner conflict would start. I was often left feeling that he preferred any other girl to me. But of course that wasn't the case because he couldn't stay away either, when I'd send him packing. Sometimes I felt he resented me for making him feel because he'd do things to hurt me on purpose, so I'd break up with him, which gave him a fleeting feeling of relief, I guess. But he'd always return lol. He once admitted that he didn't like feeling out of control with his feelings, he preferred no attachments because that's the only way he'd have full control over his heart. It's almost like love embarrassed him if that makes sense. Like he felt it weakened him as a man or something like that. It's difficult to love someone like that. In contrary to their behaviour, they have a difficult time letting go. They're obsessive & stalkerish when they succumb to their emotions, even if it's for a brief moment.

R2bees:
Now you have become aware of your deficiency would you say you will evolve later on?

frozen70:
Am hearing this from a human being for the first time

For the fact that you dont have feelings for both the living and the dead makes you a dangerous species to be with

Seek the face of God first

Then you will gradually appreciate what he created

pDudd:
Not narcissistic. Antisocial disorder.

Narcissists are a tad better than him

XhosaNostra:
What happened in that relationship from your teens? That could be where it all began.
I knew someone who told me that he lost his 1st love because she was forced to marry someone else. I think that experience had a tremendous impact on him because he'd fight tooth & nail to avoid situations where he'd have to be vulnerable. He also CRAVED affection, but when he felt himself reciprocating, the inner conflict would start. I was often left feeling that he preferred any other girl to me. But of course that wasn't the case because he couldn't stay away either, when I'd send him packing. Sometimes I felt he resented me for making him feel because he'd do things to hurt me on purpose, so I'd break up with him, which gave him a fleeting feeling of relief, I guess. But he'd always return lol. He once admitted that he didn't like feeling out of control with his feelings, he preferred no attachments because that's the only way he'd have full control over his heart. It's almost like love embarrassed him if that makes sense. Like he felt it weakened him as a man or something like that. It's difficult to love someone like that. In contrary to their behaviour, they have a difficult time letting go. They're obsessive & stalkerish when they succumb to their emotions, even if it's for a brief moment.

TSBO:
It actually wasn't really a relationship but we had a fondness and closeness. I was totally smitten mehn. Tried taking it further with sweet words and
all but she was the uptight type and actually told me not to. We however kept close communication until we went to Uni and it somehow fizzled out. Maybe cos I was the one doing most of the chasing. Tried to reestablish contact at different times but the reception was cold so I've more or less given up on that.

Since then, I haven't really let myself be smitten that way again. I guess the pain of rejection is stronger when you are smitten. There is a lady I currently like that way but I am just waiting for neutral circumstances. I don't feel like chasing and all that.

Your description up there resonates with me, however, I'm quite self-aware, so it helps to manage some potential excesses. I value being rational at all times (even when it is non-conformist), so yeah, those lovey dovey feelings make me feel like I'm not in control of my emotions, and I do not like that.

What eventually happened with the guy? Still in touch with him.

Naija246:
"I turned down his marriage proposal"

All nah audio
Keep deceiving yourself

you won't put that in your write up if you didn't care ...negress

xendra:
was I even talking to you? what makes you think I care what you believe

Monfeels:
I want to share my problem with you guys in the hopes that maybe I'll get some good advice or at least some insight into my problem.

When people first meet me their impression of me is that I'm good looking, cool and intelligent. Most girls usually assume that I have a girlfriend or a legion of side chicks that I Bleep whenever I want to.

The truth about me is that I've never been in a proper relationship with another woman before. All I've had is sexual partners that I stop talking to after I have sex with them, and girls I get intimate with just to control them and get them to fulfil my desire of having a female to own, please me and do my biding, and then I get bored of them and cease contact and move on like I never knew them.

The reason for this behavior is that I don't possess the emotional resources needed to engage in a healthy relationship with another human being. I have no empathy and I usually feel no guilt or remorse for my actions. It's impossible for me to care genuinely for another person. I don't feel people's pain or suffering and I'm not moved by the death of family members or friends. I simply do not care for any other person but myself. I've been this way for a very long time. I lack the ability to maintain relationships with people hence why I lose friends often. Relationships are usually a means to an end for me and when that end is met, I become irritated by the person I've gotten close to.

Despite the fact that I don't see the point in relationships, I still find that I get jealous of couples in healthy relationships. It's not like I want to experience what they experience, just that I am envious of the fact that they are participating in something I can't participate in.

When I find a girl that I want to get close to, I'm usually consumed with jealousy over her previous relationships, and over any current relationship she has with any member of the opposite sex, even if it's merely platonic. All I want is for her to devote all her time to me and shower me with attention and love. The problem with all this is that I don't want to reciprocate this behavior. In fact the idea of devoting attention to, and showering affection on someone else irritates me. It's all pointless, but I enjoy when it's done to me.

Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me, and making her do more to please me.

I don't love women, I only become obsessed with them. Obsessed to the point that I'm constantly tortured by thoughts of them being sexual with another guy especially when it's someone she has dated before. I want her all to myself and even if she had sex with someone before I met her or before we became close, I am filled with anger and jealousy whenever the thought crosses my mind, and I want to punish her for that. It's like I want to erase her past and replace it with me. I want to be all she's ever had. I don't want anyone else in her life and I don't want anyone else in her past.

All this must sound crazy to you guys but this is my reality and it's eating me up. I need advice.

Weebo:
There could be a number of reasons for this:
Sociopathy
PTSD
Major depressive disorder
Emotional detachment
Alexithymia
Low empathetic response without underlying cause

He stated he never felt empathy for "ANYONE" but for some reason that woman you quoted decided to assume he is a MISOGYNIST. Everything just have to be centered arround women huh smh

DeckXavier:
to 'commit' a crime posits a catalyst for change since he has the freewill to carry out an action or not. So for you to say he can't change is totally wrong unless you accept the fact that people get punished for crimes they have no will to change/avert, and that would be totally unfair since morality serves no purpose. For the fact that morality exists necessitates the ability to choose, that's only when a human can be held accountable, and as such change is possible.. Everything is in flux braaaaaah!! ......

Naija246:
you won't put that in your write up if you didn't care ...negress

TSBO:
It actually wasn't really a relationship but we had a fondness and closeness. I was totally smitten mehn. Tried taking it further with sweet words and
all but she was the uptight type and actually told me not to. We however kept close communication until we went to Uni and it somehow fizzled out. Maybe cos I was the one doing most of the chasing. Tried to reestablish contact at different times but the reception was cold so I've more or less given up on that.

Since then, I haven't really let myself be smitten that way again. I guess the pain of rejection is stronger when you are smitten. There is a lady I currently like that way but I am just waiting for neutral circumstances. I don't feel like chasing and all that.

Your description up there resonates with me, however, I'm quite self-aware, so it helps to manage some potential excesses. I value being rational at all times (even when it is non-conformist), so yeah, those lovey dovey feelings make me feel like I'm not in control of my emotions, and I do not like that.

What eventually happened with the guy? Still in touch with him.

well, considering the fact that most of you bitches only consider marriage when your eggs starts drying up, I'd say yes!!
You bitches will marry a monster just to be called "Mrs"...so long as he has money

xendra:
really?? you think any sane person will want to marry anyone with the OPs traits I think you need help yourself. a lot of women turn down marriage proposals every day, both in secret and in public.

I think you are bored and just need attention.....I'll ignore you

Zoie:
Stop arguing. Must you have the last say? He's written as a trained psychologist. Are you a psychologist?

Monfeels:
I want to share my problem with you guys in the hopes that maybe I'll get some good advice or at least some insight into my problem.

When people first meet me their impression of me is that I'm good looking, cool and intelligent. Most girls usually assume that I have a girlfriend or a legion of side chicks that I Bleep whenever I want to.

The truth about me is that I've never been in a proper relationship with another woman before. All I've had is sexual partners that I stop talking to after I have sex with them, and girls I get intimate with just to control them and get them to fulfil my desire of having a female to own, please me and do my biding, and then I get bored of them and cease contact and move on like I never knew them.

The reason for this behavior is that I don't possess the emotional resources needed to engage in a healthy relationship with another human being. I have no empathy and I usually feel no guilt or remorse for my actions. It's impossible for me to care genuinely for another person. I don't feel people's pain or suffering and I'm not moved by the death of family members or friends. I simply do not care for any other person but myself. I've been this way for a very long time. I lack the ability to maintain relationships with people hence why I lose friends often. Relationships are usually a means to an end for me and when that end is met, I become irritated by the person I've gotten close to.

Despite the fact that I don't see the point in relationships, I still find that I get jealous of couples in healthy relationships. It's not like I want to experience what they experience, just that I am envious of the fact that they are participating in something I can't participate in.

When I find a girl that I want to get close to, I'm usually consumed with jealousy over her previous relationships, and over any current relationship she has with any member of the opposite sex, even if it's merely platonic. All I want is for her to devote all her time to me and shower me with attention and love. The problem with all this is that I don't want to reciprocate this behavior. In fact the idea of devoting attention to, and showering affection on someone else irritates me. It's all pointless, but I enjoy when it's done to me.

Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me, and making her do more to please me.

I don't love women, I only become obsessed with them. Obsessed to the point that I'm constantly tortured by thoughts of them being sexual with another guy especially when it's someone she has dated before. I want her all to myself and even if she had sex with someone before I met her or before we became close, I am filled with anger and jealousy whenever the thought crosses my mind, and I want to punish her for that. It's like I want to erase her past and replace it with me. I want to be all she's ever had. I don't want anyone else in her life and I don't want anyone else in her past.

All this must sound crazy to you guys but this is my reality and it's eating me up. I need advice.

my brother, don't change for any woman!!!
Although they deny it, women subconsciously love a guy who doesn't give a f**k about them!.they loose Attraction for you immediately you start caring

miracood:
we have the same character..

Altho now i feel sad over death of someone close.

But about the ladies, we re 100% the same.

My current gf text me weeks ago she wrote...**are we even dating?

Just because i dont seem to give a shit about her, i hardly call or even text her..

I dont really like this my current personality.. i want to change..

Most people esp girls, say that i'm an i dont care guy

DeckXavier:
I wasn't talking to you, am I missing anything??

A so called psychologist that doesn't believe there can be any basis for personal change, a person that believes in predestination and destiny.. why then is he a "trained psychologist", to what end does it serve??.

Perhaps you're quoting the wrong guy, otherwise I don't know who needs help between both of you.

Zoie:
C'mon shut the fvck up. You're just ranting rubbish. If you're not a professional, don't argue with a professional. Now, fvck off.

Naija246:
you won't put that in your write up if you didn't care ...negress

Zoie:
Did you read the heading of his post at all? He kept emphasising on his relationship with women, so what's your point again?

XhosaNostra:
I'd say you're a narcissist, but you're self aware. People like you usually have deep-seated abandonment issues or suffer from fear of rejection. You only skim the surface when it comes to emotions, so noone can get close enough to inflict any sort of pain. Get them before they get you type of thing. Underneath the seemingly uncaring facade, there's actually an extremely sensitive person that's scared to death of getting hurt, so they put up all these defences to protect their mushy core. Something like a human crustacean One person will manage to break down your walls though, mark my words. But it'll only take one person. It won't be easy sailing. There'll be a lot of vacillation between enmeshment & suffocation on your part. Good luck to the poor girl

xendra:
NO. Don't talk it down, what the OP is talking about is not that simple, I know men who are like him, and they are angry at women for not being perfect when they themselves are intolerable. they HATE women yet they are always sleeping or trying to sleep with one, just can't keep any. its NOT normal at all.

Samuels90:
He is really dangerous! good he knows it is a bad thing now. Maybe it is not intentional his environment and some circumstances made him begin to act this way, Maybe. Hope he finds help somehow

Monfeels:
I'd say I'm a malignant narcissistic; I think that's the psychological terminology when narcissism overlaps with sociopathy and sadism. But I'm not a fan of labels. I don't think labels explain the full gamut of my very complex personality. There are still other mental disorders I have that I didn't mention but these ones are more on the sexual side. They are actually much more interesting than cluster B traits.

But enough with the unsolicited psychoanalysis you fucking show off. You think you have me figured out don't you. All you are doing is making unfounded conjectures and hitting your hammer kilometers away from the nail. You know nothing about me other than the info I gave you, so don't try to paint a picture of my past or define me as someone afraid of rejection.

And if you were smart enough like you are deluded to think you are, you'd have figured out the reason why I created this thread in the first place wasn't for solutions to my "problem" but because I needed people to talk about me while I listened. I derive a lot of gratification when people discuss things I did, they don't even have to know I did it. It's satisfying in a way, but it's even more satisfying when they discuss me, but not in a derogatory sense. You should understand what I mean. Call it attention seeking or whatever, it doesn't matter.

But life can be so boring you know. When you aren't moved by the mundane activities and useless feelings, you get your fun through OTHER means that in most cases might not be socially endorsed.

But you are right on one thing. I'm the most self aware narcissist you'll ever meet, and probably the most intelligent you'd ever meet.

pDudd:
There is nothing wrong with you bro. You just don't want to get rejected again so you're more careful. Daz all.

The OP is displaying classic signs of Antisocial disorder. He is totally different from you. Such people find it hard to maintain a relationship due to the characteristics of the disorder. I feel sorry for him. A past traumatic relationship probably precipitated it.

XhosaNostra:
LMAO. How amusing! You're a nutcase, that's for sure. A deluded one at that. I think we have a few similarities, in fact, one of which being the fact that I don't give a toss either so save me the menstrual meltdown & aimless attempt at verbal assassination. It doesn't faze me. That stuff may work on the weak targets you meet in your every day life, but I'm of a different stock & you may have just met your match if you're under some belief that you draw the quickest pistol, verbally. I got my own arsenal & an I don't give a shìt attitude of my own, so you're welcome. Fruitcake, meet the fearless one yet, with enough wit of her own to run circles around you, unlike the stùpid ones who let you demean them & thus, got you thinking you're some badass. I chew up people like you like curd. I gave an input, but don't mistake it for thinking I truly care about your fùcking problems & how to solve them. You could remain the miserable fart you are for eternity for all I care. You wanted to know what people thought of your shìtty, garden-variety personality (nothing exceptional about it, you're just another wannabe because you probably read it somewhere that narcissists & the like are intellectually gifted or you just wanna give off the impression that you're Spock-like, whereas, you're probably a fùcking big baby in reality) & I said my piece, so I don't give the slightest fùck what you think henceforth for I said what I needed to say. Fùck ya thoughts! Compliment accepted for thinking I was trying to be smart when I wasn't even trying A few things people can fake, but being smart is a hardest one to pull off convincingly. So if it appears to you, self-acclaimed brainiac that I'm at least trying, then I must have perfected my act. Mission accomplished.