Acidosis:


Those who aren't married should at least be a product of marriage. If you're not a product of marriage, you're not married, and not aiming at getting married someday, you honestly shouldn't be on family section.

These attempts to control other people (you should/shouldn't and my view of the family system/marriage is the only right view) are acceptable as long as they align with our world view but if we for a moment imagine that a Muslim brother or sister would want to dictate to us how we think and act (on/offline) and how we are supposed to live our lives and run our families, we cry foul. Muslim could be replaced with Hindu or Satanist for all I care.

Freedom is one of the highest goods but we only understand its value the moment a different religious group takes our freedom to live according to our own belief system.

Why am I saying it? Because this thread (and I was on page 1) was never meant to encourage a civil discourse. I have been cut off in a rather rude manner without the slightest spark of respect or openness to my willing to share my thoughts on the topic. Your repetition of the word 'should' points to the same direction. It's the mildest form of the Boko Haram syndrome.

crackland:

Isn't it funny how right in the same sentence where people should be allowed to have their own choices, yet when the OP has chosen to abide by her religious beliefs and still chose to share tit-bits of it here for anyone who cares to accept it, you claim she is pushing it on people.


Pushing it with what please?
A microphone on one hand, and an automatic machine gun on the other?

Can someone please help me answer the question here, or maybe explain the irony in the first paragraph.

We don't need the thread to be derailed once again from its purpose by engaging in chats about who insults, who is important, who should leave and who should stay, etc...
This is not anyone's business.

A thread about work/career is not for KG1 psychoanalysis on people's personalities.
They will say have civil discussions but na still dem dey first start to carry on uncivilised discussions.


Dunning-Kruger is a genius.

Hathor5:

. Your repetition of the word 'should' points to the same direction. It's the mildest form of the Boko Haram syndrome.

Hian!!

choice17:

Exactly, there's a 1001 topics on NL/family section to read from. If they find hers offensive, why not leave quietly like I always do; rather na bashing and frustration upandan

But won't it be so hard to just leave when she lives in a rent-free condo inside your head?

Acidosis:


So how would people know what works for them without people like OP?

[s]To say marriage is not for everyone while still spending most of your time on family section, for me, is cra.zy. If marriage is not for everyone, then the so called everyone shouldn't be here in the first place. It's like saying WEALTH is not for everyone on an investment thread. That's a stup!d idea[/s].

Some of you are just bitter, it's very obvious seeing how you folks descended on the personality behind the post. You people have called her old school and all sorts without even realizing the fact that no sane man wants to spend his life with a problematic modern and overly exposed man-woman. There's something about her you lots hate so bitterly.

Good morning
I struck out a very somehow part...(the other parts of the post I do not care about)
On Nairaland I gravitate towards the family section because people my age (and or generation) are surer to be here, than say, on the romance section (which I actually have started liking lately, somehow. I also like culture, some politics and some religion). Not that you asked though, but manage it.
Are you trying to bully me/people like me off here?
You can’t shaa. But supposing you were a mod with powers to evict people from here- let me campaign
“I have a lover, we have a lot of sex..I have money...I spend it too, on people, like give huge or tiny sums to people, including married men, relatives and non relatives ...I get food ready....an evening/night newspaper depending on who is reading...I can say that with my companion , that I luckily have the choice to bail easily if attraction wanes, and can hop into another one easily: freedom is nice. I consider this a blessing, marriage I consider can be a real trap. And I am a good person too, with all the fornication. I promise you I don’t lurk here wishing I was you, I am here because the posters are more mature. I also do a lot of marriage counseling (sometimes like a reverend father -at work with patients and like a person whose friends and acquaintances want her honest/real opinions on stuff the other times). They trust my opinions too, even if they may think some too wild, and as such may not take them!
So you see? I belong here as much as you do
Thanks for not hogging all the family section space!
Lol!

crackland:

Can someone please help me answer the question here, or maybe explain the irony in the first paragraph.

Oga, go and rest abeg. Nobody is going to answer you. Highest, you will loose guard again and get banned. Bye bye

[s]

pocohantas:

Oga, go and rest abeg. Nobody is going to answer you. Highest, you will loose guard again and get banned. Bye bye

[/s]
Madam, I do not care about anyone answering me...although you just did since you can't help yourself

As long as my comments are being read, the ministry is moving.

crackland:

Madam I do not care about anyone answering me.

As long as it is being read, the ministry is moving.

No, you actually care. You are waiting for who will reply you, so that you can drag the person into your endless arguments and semantics. Which by the way, is like heroin to your system

Rest biko. You have tried for today.

Dande55:
When an idea is challenged, it's called bully.
Someone created a thread without even facing the questions and challenges thrown at her. She started crying all over the thread, and somehow it's called bullying.

this lady writes a lot of nonsense n then call mediators , Am not surprised at all

[s]

pocohantas:

No, you actually care. You are waiting for who will reply you, so that you can drag the person into your endless arguments and semantics. Which by the way, is like heroin to your system

Rest biko. You have tried for today.

[/s]
And here you are replying me, fulfilling my heroin addiction.

Dunning-Kruger is a genius..

crackland:

Madam, I do not care about anyone answering me...although you just did since you can't help yourself

As long as my comments are being read, the ministry is moving.

Lol I don't think you quoted yourself and asked someone to answer it just for emphasis for some reason

ibkayee:

Lol I don't think you quoted yourself and asked someone to answer it just for emphasis for some reason

The person that show was meant for knows he can't give a concise answer to his own irony.

Stating it again is for emphasis, right emphasis this time... Not the one on the heading of the thread which got y'all worked up.

Dunning-Kruger sure understands the science of humans, he is a genius.

Hathor5:


These attempts to control other people (you should/shouldn't and my view of the family system/marriage is the only right view) are acceptable as long as they align with our world view but if we for a moment imagine that a Muslim brother or sister would want to dictate to us how we think and act (on/offline) and how we are supposed to live our lives and run our families, we cry foul. Muslim could be replaced with Hindu or Satanist for all I care.

Freedom is one of the highest goods but we only understand its value the moment a different religious group takes our freedom to live according to our own belief system.

Why am I saying it? Because this thread (and I was on page 1) was never meant to encourage a civil discourse. I have been cut off in a rather rude manner without the slightest spark of respect or openness to my willing to share my thoughts on the topic. Your repetition of the word 'should' points to the same direction. It's the mildest form of the Boko Haram syndrome.

Perhaps you should ask Seun why we have a list of 22 rules on the forum. Freedom without boundaries ultimately will lead to chaos.

I do not see anything uncivil on page 1 until a particular individual decided to attack the OP based on senseless preconceived ideas and prejudices.

Liliantalks:
I know u are the only person on family section foolish enough to write this trash

So what is work to you, Madam/Mister?

merahki:



Good morning
I struck out a very somehow part...(the other parts of the post I do not care about)
On Nairaland I gravitate towards the family section because people my age (and or generation) are surer to be here, than say, on the romance section (which I actually have started liking lately, somehow. I also like culture, some politics and some religion). Not that you asked though, but manage it.
Are you trying to bully me/people like me off here?
You can’t shaa. But supposing you were a mod with powers to evict people from here- let me campaign
“I have a lover, we have a lot of sex..I have money...I spend it too, on people, like give huge or tiny sums to people, including married men, relatives and non relatives ...I get food ready....an evening/night newspaper depending on who is reading...I can say that with my companion , that I luckily have the choice to bail easily if attraction wanes, and can hop into another one easily: freedom is nice. I consider this a blessing, marriage I consider can be a real trap. And I am a good person too, with all the fornication. I promise you I don’t lurk here wishing I was you, I am here because the posters are more mature. I also do a lot of marriage counseling (sometimes like a reverend father -at work with patients and like a person whose friends and acquaintances want her honest/real opinions on stuff the other times). They trust my opinions too, even if the may think some too wild, and as such may not take them!
So you see? I belong here as much as you do
Thanks for not hogging all the family section space!
Lol!

You're not considering marriage. Check.

You're not married. Check.

Are you a product of marriage? Remains uncheck.


BTW, I'm wondering how you became a marriage counselor?

Acidosis:


You're not considering marriage. Check.

You're not married. Check.

Are you a product of marriage? Remains uncheck.


BTW, I'm wondering how you became a marriage counselor?

Nodu chewe
(Stay there and be wondering)
Meanwhile all your check and unchecks will remain answers in your head.
You know norrin Jon Snow
I nukwam!

Las Las you will all log out and face reality. Speaking of reality, some haven't brush their teeth this morning. Yes! they slept and woke on the thread and continue the day's work.



All of you will be alright!

eyinjuege:


People can share common ancestors without marriage involved
Because a child is born of unmarried parents doesn't change it's ancestry.
Ancestry is by BLOOD.
(An example of this is Tuface and his multiple baby mamas and wife. His children from his baby mamas will trace their ancestry to him. His children from his wife will also trace their ancestry to him. The half siblings are always connected by blood regardless of the circumstances of their birth. They cannot simply be wished away because their parents aren't married)

“wished away” is too funny!

ibkayee:

'Family' is broader than just marriage.

Even if this was a sub-board dedicated to marriage alone, are you saying everyone who has any type of opinion on something conforms to the specific thing's ideology?

The investment example isn't clicking either. Too many assumptions and unconnected 'links'.

Thank you!

Biglittlelois:
Acidosis, so people who arent married shouldn't be here? So family section is solely for married people? Says who? You?

Some people's line of thinking sha

They would have to ban me first

Acidosis:



Perhaps you should ask Seun why we have a list of 22 rules on the forum. Freedom without boundaries ultimately will lead to chaos.

I do not see anything uncivil on page 1 until a particular individual decided to attack the OP based on senseless preconceived ideas and prejudices.

And these boundaries should be defined by religion/beliefs of one group of people (to the detriment of another)? Is family life not a private matter? What concerns you with how others live their lives if they don't harm you? It is funny you want to regulate this sphere of life but most of you here will cry foul (again) when someone tells you that beating your child should be punishable by law. Then you remember that you are free to run your family as you deem fit.

Please, let us focus on what concerns the public life like the rule of law, certain expectations of legality, expectations of due process, strong institutions, eradication of corruption, employment, accountability. Maybe then we will eventually get somewhere in this country. Obviously religion has not taken the country anywhere. Living by an outdated manual can never be the path to order.

Liliantalks:
I know u are the only person on family section foolish enough to write this trash

she believes "work is work" if you disagree or have reasons not to get in bed with her... why not counter constructively. educate us

But Bukatyne, you're indeed a trailblazer...

There's no place for argument.

Hathor5:


And these boundaries should be defined by religion/beliefs of one group of people (to the detriment of another)? Is family life not a private matter? What concerns you with how others live their lives if they don't harm you? It is funny you want to regulate this sphere of life but most of you here will cry foul (again) when someone tells you that beating your child should be punishable by law. Then you remember that you are free to run your family as you deem fit.

Please, let us focus on what concerns the public life like the rule of law, certain expectations of legality, expectations of due process, strong institutions, eradication of corruption, employment, accountability. Maybe then we will eventually get somewhere in this country. Obviously religion has not taken the country anywhere. Living by an outdated manual can never be the path to order.

Family life can be both a private and public matter. A controversial family arrangement, if left unaddressed, is capable of destroying an entire community.

I'm not surprised reading words like "control", "freedom", and other new age concepts from the West in your previous writeup. Even Donald Trump was accused of controlling people because he instructed citizens to sit at home and protect themselves.

Ariza:
Las Las you will all log out and face reality. Speaking of reality, some haven't brush their teeth this morning. Yes! they slept and woke on the thread and continue the day's work.



All of you will be alright!

well thank God i brushed my teeth , i only left the house without bathing my head

anslem04:



well thank God i brushed my teeth , i only left the house without bathing my head

Have you been here since.... *Lemme check* two days ago? Arguing and playing super hero? if yes for you to achieve that fist (brushing your teeth)

You are a genius! . Lol time to unfollow the thread now. Bye!

Biglittlelois:



They are the righteous one, in their mind their words are perfectly ok

Very ridiculously amazing stuff

Acidosis:


Those who aren't married should at least be a product of marriage. If you're not a product of marriage, you're not married, and not aiming at getting married someday, you honestly shouldn't be on family section.

Bute egbe!
(Bring your gun)

Acidosis:


But deep down you agree that Tuface's relationship with Annie and Annie's children is quite different from his relationship with others?

On the contrary.
Tuface has been consistent with his children and gets along with most of his baby mamas.
He flaunts all his children from his various baby mamas. He has 3 or 4 sons and a daughter from his baby mamas (and we're still counting, because rumour has it that there is a new one recently impregnated while married. we will await the rumour to become a reality if true), and 2 daughter from his wife.
He flaunts his daughters and sons, visits the ones abroad as circumstances allow. He gets along well with the one in Nigeria, and so does his wife get along well with her. The wife is working on her relationship with the one abroad.
That's a blended family for you.
Even Davido despite his immaturity flaunts all his children, as circumstances allow. Both the ones from his baby mamas and the newborn from his fiancee- 'Chioma my lover'. That's another blended family, right there.
That's real life my brother.
Not some bubble we have created for ourselves on how things MUST be, but rather how they actually ARE.

Hathor5:


And these boundaries should be defined by religion/beliefs of one group of people (to the detriment of another)? Is family life not a private matter? What concerns you with how others live their lives if they don't harm you? It is funny you want to regulate this sphere of life but most of you here will cry foul (again) when someone tells you that beating your child should be punishable by law. Then you remember that you are free to run your family as you deem fit.

Please, let us focus on what concerns the public life like the rule of law, certain expectations of legality, expectations of due process, strong institutions, eradication of corruption, employment, accountability. Maybe then we will eventually get somewhere in this country. Obviously religion has not taken the country anywhere. Living by an outdated manual can never be the path to order.

I am sure you must av come across "rubbing minds" what people share as beliefs, assertion or opinion ... has no relationship with bin a "command" or "an order".
Nigerians can be religious people buh do nigerians practice what religion says.. from politics to business down to marriage. is it not greed, selfishness n one party trying to outsmart the other.
I think nigeria will get better when we as humans start looking inward n acknowledging we are the problem ... not religion, not the system and its not the devil fault anymore.

bukatyne:


To break it down, let's use Mary (the mother of Jesus) as an example:

Mary's purpose was to birth the savior (Jesus Christ). Let's assume she was a farmer (the Bible didn't say), that's her work. She was married to Joseph (an excellent choice because he was godly, fair and righteous).

You failed to mention that her purpose was also to educate her son, and without her he would have been a carpenter.