₦airaland Forum

Yustash001:
Why is that when some women suddenly become richer than their husband...
They start to develop wings..

Ybaby:
You can write all the epistle in the world but OP showed you what his eyes saw and he ran but you still want to chook head.

Today's women do not want to feed a man- are you going to force them?

Anyway by the time they are hitting your head on the wall - you will do proper.

Your mum's generation is gone. No "good" women again that wants to be feeding a man.

The few doing it are opening threads on NL

linnyx:
One word of advice thought: if truly your hand is clean then you should explain to her parents and your parents what went wrong. You owe them and yourself that. For posterity sake; somebody needs to know what went down. It is important you do that. I know what I'm saying.

Ybaby:
I did not sir.
[s]If you promise me you are paying your children's school without your wife's help I will read it.[/s]

Ybaby:
Plus busy men hardly have time to write epistle

Ybaby:
So sorry I didnot read it

clemmonce:
I am beginning to build a theory. I am still thinking on it though....
When women provide for the family it brings the worse in them, because in the subconscious mind of a woman a man should be the provider. while they support or just take care of things at home. so if a man fall short of that responsibility they see the man as not man enough. Remember everybody has an Angel and Devil in them.
My plan is to tell my wife on marriage that , i dont care how much you earn your money is your money.... we live by the means i can afford. Your money is your money. i dont care about that. I take care of the family according to my means. I will still ask some elders though if it makes sense. Because all this women wahala i dont like it........ it destroys a happy marriage.

PrimadonnaO:
Lol. This is cracking me up in no small measure! Maybe because I’m imagining you saying it like you’re talking to a brick-head.

tunmiluabi:
Thank you...

Ybaby:
Infidels and epistle 6 and 7

They will write a whole novel so they will not pay thier children school fees or shelter thier family

E ku iranu

MuttleyLaff:
Why am I not shocked or surprised you didnt read, you hardly can spell well or correctly, so reading must be a challenge.

Busy under santa's yoke men hardly have time to write illuminating, advisory Bob, the builder posts.

"Ashiri tu", loosely translated means "breeze don expose fowl yansh"

BlissB:
Because I'm from one and I don't wish it on anyone but then we should all do what makes us happy with due consideration....

Ybaby:
I will abuse you..
Watch!

Obingene:
Hian!!

Cold shivers ran down my spines as I read this.

I'm so not enthusiastic about marriage anymore.

tunmiluabi:
Life is strange... Turning my child against me is not an an issue for me. What I do believe is that any act of betrayal will always repeat itself no matter how hidden it might. I have seen it and I know it. The truth is that, even if my child does not see me as father in the future... I will die a happy man knowing that I had the strength to walk away.

olamy7:
good for him ....and thank God it was solved so easily. Thanks for taking your time to answer though

MuttleyLaff:
[img]https://s5/images/MuttleyLaffSLJackonStare.gif[/img]
Bring it on. Komadafun abuse
Hin no beta for abuse father

Mariangeles:
There's always peace and unity where God is involved.

PrimadonnaO:
Money doesn’t fix all things. The wealthier his son gets, the more distant he would be. The son will have family and aspirations of his own. His old father would be left at the mercy of paid domestic help with no real affections for him.

That’s even if the son doesn’t grow up dysfunctional... and starts battling marital problems on his own.

Mariangeles:
There's always peace and unity where God is involved.

Ybaby:
In a family setting the husband provides he protects - locks the doors at night, spiritual head, kids school fees, shelter, discipline etc

the wife nurtures basically she she does everything else - family health, ego stroking, storytime, PTA, Home cleaniness, Kids to school, Gifts for Teachers, Arranging holiday time, Nourishment etc

For the kids
She teaches affection and pampering - he teaches affection and courage
They both teach self esteem but it is more of his responsibility to let his kids know the child of who they are
They both do homework but it is her responsibility to teach and guide the child in the path of moral
They both teach business but it is more of Daddy's role
etc





Any job! some jobs are more feminine but she can do any job as long as she is able to perform the above duties for her family

I run a software company and code really well - we have a staff of about 30 programmers
I run an importation company and own 5 ecommerce websites that are doing quite well
Also a media company that is doing ok but could be better
Both companies are over 6 years and though my husband gave me capital - he does not ask me for money and he never will. Na man him be.



My husband is not required to do chores in the house at all. If he wants to - all well and good but he is a very busy man with plenty on his shoulder- because of him other men have a salary to feed their family.

I have helps that do chores and I coordinate. I cook dinner every night too and make sure we have a meal together Oga, myself and the children. We talk about our day and give support. Crack jokes - watch TV or play monopoly.
He also gives one weekend a month for family recreation and a vacation every year - all funded by him but organised by moi



Once a boss slapped by ass, I slapped him and my husband later locked him up. No one messes with the Queen.

I also never say no to seexx in 19 years. I respect my husband as in truly adore and respect him not audio type. He is a one of a kind man and he in turn adores me even more - I am the queen

Hope this answers your question

Vyolet:
Everytime a woman leaves a poor man or reacts badly to him, the man always end up having a well paying job and the woman always want to come back...
Op, you forgot to write the part where she is willing to come back and live with you in Lekki .

tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

Ybaby:
[s]Ode
He is not paying his kids school fees

They are beating him at home and treating him like shiiit like infidel....

Abeg o.....madam is calling you.... and you dare not run or else no dinner for you for one week.

[/s]

Yustash001:
Why is that when some women suddenly become richer than their husband...
They start to develop wings..

linnyx:
I understand where you're coming from. But for the sake of your child a handful of people need to know your own side of the story. You wife doesn't have to be there when you tell your side.

Please do this so they don't all agree with her and turn your child against you in the future because you're trying to be a gentleman. I've seen this cause a lot of problems or some people like you. They never had the relationship they sought with their children. At the time the truth eventually came to light it was too late to have the relationship. All these because nobody heard their own side of the story.
I totally agree with you, he needs to inform her parents, because your child relationship with you is still in danger, they may likely poison her mind against you, so please do the needful if you truely truely love your child, you certainly not the first and won't be the last, take heed while the sun still shine, it's over yet.

Oluromantic:
I cherish your maturity sir. Even in the core of the challenge, you were still very sane!

It's a pity your wife did not meet up to the cost of marital covenant. I don't pray to have such a wife o

But I salute your courage.

seunlayi:


Marriage is cool, interesting and a blessing, it depends on our choice, it is not something you jump into without sweat like an ordinary union btw two members of opposite sex.

@Op, sorry that it took you too long to understand your proud wife, I thank God for helping you out of it all. Take care of your child and move on. As for your wife (if I were you) that is the end. I can bear 1000 men with evidence of sleeping with my wife before I met her than just one man that slept with her after I married her.
Take care of your new job, relax from your former relationship before starting another