₦airaland Forum

Best friends or closest friends as some people term it is quite normal in the life of 80% of world population, I had one too.

We grew up as teens together, matured as adults together, he came to our house always and ate all his meals with us. My mom was really nice to him when she was alive. He wore my clothes and never returned them. I did not ask because my parents always provided for me although they were average citizens.

Then the worst thing in my life happened. I lost both my parents within the space of four years.
Things turned downhill for me (orphans do suffer a lot.. Too much suffering for you to believe there is even God in heaven who takes care of the fatherless and motherless).

My friend travelled to an African country. He kept telling me to come over there to work that things are better there. I kept declining but after a year of constant pressure, I decided to man up, packed my bags and travelled to meet him.

Guess what? I did not stay up to 5 days with him!!!

His attitude changed by the second day, he yells at me at every given opportunity, from his best friend, I turned to his boy, the heat he was given me was so bad that when he leaves the house and he comes back, I get scared just by hearing his footsteps. I virtually turned to a nonentity to him. I had no money on me because the little I had left, he collected it when I arrived. I knew no one, I felt so miserable and alone and I started regretting why I left Nigeria.

On the fifth day ,I woke up early in the morning and shook him up. I don’t know what got into me (but I am glad it did), I told him I can’t stay with him anymore and I want to leave. He did not even feel bad about this, he did not think of the fact that I know nothing and nowhere in this country. He let me go.

I packed my bag amid tears and went into the street. Mind you, I had no one to call back in Nigeria... It was tough on me but as a naija guy and as God will have it, I did not spend even a night on the streets. I was shocked that a total stranger took me in, clothed and fed me. He taught me everything he knows. I worked for 6 months and was able to make 2 million Naira. This was like a dream to me (If you get money ehn, to praise God Dey sweet o)

I came back to Nigeria, rented an apartment, furnished it and continued working from here.

This so called best friend of mine saw my posts and pictures on Facebook and video called me to check on me (I guess his eyes did not believe what he was seeing) he asked me if I am in a hotel, I said no, I am in my apartment. He was shocked (me I nor keep any grudge against you) he told me he was coming to Nigeria and that I should please forgive him and forget everything that happened. I told him I can forgive but can’t forget.

What surprised me most are this exact words he said “my guy, if I come, na your house I go relax first abeg”

Now my fellow Nairalanders, I am asking, how should I go about this?

I have forgiven him but should I allow him into my home?

Still processing the post

I've seen worse than this, believe me.

I'll advice you, don't keep any grudge. If you think you want him around you, fine, if you think otherwise, fine. No one is gonna tell you what to do, you're an adult. Remember, don't keep any grudge.

Let elders come first.

Lavisha:
your friend must be an igbo

He’s a human being like you and me,I don’t think ethnicity has anything to do with the heart of man

Lavisha:
I talking to the OP, plss

You've confirmed my curiosity. You see why I always say you don't have sense?

Yes, let him stay. But specify how long

[quote author=Davash222 post=89679155][/quote]I I was referring to the op

Lavisha:
your friend must be an igbo

Why are you always so pained about Igbos?? Are they the cause of your Misfortune??
Or is it only Igbo that travels around the world?? Thus your tribalism won't take you anywhere

Please don’t let him stay in your house.
You have forgiven him but be wise.

He’s clearly jealous. He’s coming to your house to see things for himself. You can’t predict what he will do after that.

be calm, let your heart rule.

slyfox35:
Best friends or closest friends as some people term it is quite normal in the life of 80% of world population,I had one too
We grew up as teens together,matured as adults together, he came to our house always and ate all his meals with us,my mom was really nice to him when she was alive,he wore my clothes and never returned them,I did not ask because my parents always provided for me although they were average citizens.
Then the worst thing in my life happened,I lost both my parents within the space of four years.
Things turned downhill for me(orphans do suffer a lot..too much suffering for you to believe there is even God in heaven who takes care of the fatherless and motherless).
My friend travelled to an African country.He kept telling me to come over there to work that things are better there,I kept declining but after a year of constant pressure,I decided to man up,packed my bags and travelled to meet him.
Guess what?I did not stay up to 5 days with him!!!
His attitude changed by the second day,he yells at me at every given opportunity,from his best friend,I turned to his boy,the heat he was given me was so bad that when he leaves the house and he comes back,I get scared just by hearing his footsteps,I virtually turned to a nonentity to him,I had no money on me because the little I had left,he collected it when I arrived,I knew no one,I felt so miserable and alone,and I started regretting why I left Nigeria,on the fifth day,I woke up early in the morning and shook him up,I don’t know what got into me(but I am glad it did),I told him I can’t stay with him anymore and I want to leave,he did not even feel bad about this,he did not think of the fact that I know nothing and nowhere in this country,he let me go
I packed my bag amid tears and went into the street,Mind you,I had no one to call back in Nigeria...It was tough on me but as a naija guy and as God will have it,I did not spend even a night on the streets,I was shocked that a total stranger took me in,clothed and fed me
Taught me everything he knows,I worked for 6 months and was able to make 2million Naira,this was like a dream to me(If you get money ehn,to praise God Dey sweet o)
I came back to Nigeria,rented an apartment,Furnished it and continued working from here.
This so called best friend of mine saw my posts and pictures on Facebook and video called me to check on me(I guess his eyes did not believe what he was seeing) he asked me if I am in a hotel,I said no,I am in my apartment,he was shocked (me I nor keep any grudge against you) he told me he was coming to Nigeria and that I should please forgive him and forget everything that happened,I told him I can forgive but can’t forget.
What surprised me most are this exact words he said “my guy,if I come,na your house I go relax first abeg”
Now my fellow Nairalanders,I am asking,how should I go about this?
I have forgiven him,but should I allow him into my home?

Ponder on this words "Some people will only need you when it's beneficial to them"

Well i guess his attitude made you to locate your destiny helper, so show him love for that and always watch ur back...

Please don't let that guy into your home. If you want to help him, do that from afar, don't let him get close to you. The fact that someone seeks forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean that they have changed. It's clear from the way he made that request that he's only putting up a façade.

He will destroy your home at any given opportunity. In case you don't know yet, the reason you had to go through those rough times in his home was for you to know who he truly is, you should have learnt your lesson by now. I'm not saying you shouldn't help him, my point is don't get close to him anymore to the point of cohabiting with him.

cococandy:
Please don’t let him stay in your house.
You have forgiven him but be wise.

He’s clearly jealous. He’s coming to your house to see things for himself. You can predict what he will do after that.

Thanks for this,my thoughts exactly, but I do not know how to tell him to back off,should I remind of him of what he did?

Put that behind you.

Welcome him at least you can show that you are not like him.

slyfox35:
Thanks for this,my thoughts exactly, but I do not know how to tell him to back off,should I remind of him of what he did?

No need to remind him. He remembers quite well.
Just tell him no and that’s it.
I wouldn’t even be chatting with him if I were you.

Forgive him but don't let him close to your house... If you can survive without him in a strange land then you can do without him in Nigeria.... He is not a true friend, I tell you.

Severe all ties between you both! Block him on your Facebook so he doesn’t see your progress! This one na enemy! Who best friend epp!?

life is business stop allowing your emotions take the lead! .

Now your emotions is leading you, making you feel like a bad person....Him reason you when he was wicked to you

Letting him into your house is a no no especially considering that he may have bad intentions.

Regular story one hears in Nairobi, how Nigerian friends in Kenya would get them to come over from Nigeria and become toxic few days after arrival, even scoping them to extend their visa.

You may have forgiven him but it doesn't change who he is, his heart is dark.

StubbornGENIUS:
Tribal Bigotry and hatred has fried your poor brain

Fried it into chips

Foreign country wey no get name

cococandy:
Please don’t let him stay in your house.
You have forgiven him but be wise.

He’s clearly jealous. He’s coming to your house to see things for himself. You can’t predict what he will do after that.

it was as if you knew what was in my mind and then said it out. Op, DO NOT LET HIM STAY IN YOUR HOUSE. You've got to be as wise as serpent on this issue. Allowing him to stay with u will not validate the fact that u've forgiven him and vice versa. I sensed envy the moment he asked if the pictures you posted were that of an hotel. Envy/jealousy has the capacity to birth all manner of untoward and evil deeds. If you have the Wherewithal to lodge him in a hotel for few days, kindly do. Staying in ur apartment, I think, is a no no.

I dont believe in the fallacy of 'best friend' I guess that worked best when we were all still young and innocent, when life have not happened to either party.
I have had my own share too and it made me realise that being a friend with someone doesnt mean they feel the same about you. The level of friendship might not be mutual, it's like committing yourself to a futile relationship.
We can also be our own enemies sometimes, like when a negative thought overflows your mind about nobody but yourself. When it happens I just be like "God forbid!"
Na selfishness remain so, battle to see who wins first...

You can allow him stay with you, but before he comes find out how long he plans to stay, and let him know he cannot exceed that time.
Meanwhile, I will advice you to keep your source of income to yourself and not share with him even if he asks. I say this because he may as well sabotage you.
I'm not sure about his intentions towards you.

Octopusssy:
Foreign country wey no get name

See you wey get name “Octopussy”
Must I specify everything in my writeup?
You understand abi you nor understand