₦airaland Forum

Anni3e:
Hi, I have been married for 9 years now, the problem I have with my husband is that his family members keep sucking him dry and the way he neglects us his immediate family.

He is the first child of 7 children, his siblings even the married ladies keep asking him for money. He keeps spending money on them and their husbands. His brothers keep crying they are broke, they keep leeching off him.

His two junior brothers that always ask him for money, one of them built a house in Port Harcourt and the other one built a big house in the village. Still they won't let him rest.

His married sisters are the worst. If they cough they would call him to send money, every minor thing they would expect money. Just this evening his sister called him to ask for money. We don't have a house of our own, I keep telling my husband to stop giving in to all their demands and invest the money on something, he would say I am turning him against his family.

We have 2 kids and I have told him we need to start saving for their future, I pay the electricity bill, foodstuffs, and most times the children school fees, he pays the house rent and rarely keeps money for home upkeep, he sometimes drops two thousand and that's it for the whole week. He always complains he has no more, but once his family calls him he sends money immediately.

I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property. I don't know what to deal with, his family entitlement mentality or the way he neglects the kids and I and treat us like outsiders.

I am really pissed off and tired.

Sorry for the long post.

Anni3e:
Hi, I have been married for 9 years now, the problem I have with my husband is that his family members keep sucking him dry and the way he neglects us his immediate family.

He is the first child of 7 children, his siblings even the married ladies keep asking him for money. He keeps spending money on them and their husbands. His brothers keep crying they are broke, they keep leeching off him.

His two junior brothers that always ask him for money, one of them built a house in Port Harcourt and the other one built a big house in the village. Still they won't let him rest.

His married sisters are the worst. If they cough they would call him to send money, every minor thing they would expect money. Just this evening his sister called him to ask for money. We don't have a house of our own, I keep telling my husband to stop giving in to all their demands and invest the money on something, he would say I am turning him against his family.

We have 2 kids and I have told him we need to start saving for their future, I pay the electricity bill, foodstuffs, and most times the children school fees, he pays the house rent and rarely keeps money for home upkeep, he sometimes drops two thousand and that's it for the whole week. He always complains he has no more, but once his family calls him he sends money immediately.

I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property. I don't know what to deal with, his family entitlement mentality or the way he neglects the kids and I and treat us like outsiders.

I am really pissed off and tired.

Sorry for the long post.

adontcare:
Such men only regrets in their grave. After everything, they must kill him

Bluehill1051:
Mtcheeew rubbish post. I pray that your husband even die sef!

STARGREEN:
"I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property."

This is obviously the reason for your lamentations.

Anni3e:
Hi, I have been married for 9 years now, the problem I have with my husband is that his family members keep sucking him dry and the way he neglects us his immediate family.

He is the first child of 7 children, his siblings even the married ladies keep asking him for money. He keeps spending money on them and their husbands. His brothers keep crying they are broke, they keep leeching off him.

His two junior brothers that always ask him for money, one of them built a house in Port Harcourt and the other one built a big house in the village. Still they won't let him rest.

His married sisters are the worst. If they cough they would call him to send money, every minor thing they would expect money. Just this evening his sister called him to ask for money. We don't have a house of our own, I keep telling my husband to stop giving in to all their demands and invest the money on something, he would say I am turning him against his family.

We have 2 kids and I have told him we need to start saving for their future, I pay the electricity bill, foodstuffs, and most times the children school fees, he pays the house rent and rarely keeps money for home upkeep, he sometimes drops two thousand and that's it for the whole week. He always complains he has no more, but once his family calls him he sends money immediately.

I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property. I don't know what to deal with, his family entitlement mentality or the way he neglects the kids and I and treat us like outsiders.

I am really pissed off and tired.

Sorry for the long post.

Anni3e:
Hi, I have been married for 9 years now, the problem I have with my husband is that his family members keep sucking him dry and the way he neglects us his immediate family.

He is the first child of 7 children, his siblings even the married ladies keep asking him for money. He keeps spending money on them and their husbands. His brothers keep crying they are broke, they keep leeching off him.

His two junior brothers that always ask him for money, one of them built a house in Port Harcourt and the other one built a big house in the village. Still they won't let him rest.

His married sisters are the worst. If they cough they would call him to send money, every minor thing they would expect money. Just this evening his sister called him to ask for money. We don't have a house of our own, I keep telling my husband to stop giving in to all their demands and invest the money on something, he would say I am turning him against his family.

We have 2 kids and I have told him we need to start saving for their future, I pay the electricity bill, foodstuffs, and most times the children school fees, he pays the house rent and rarely keeps money for home upkeep, he sometimes drops two thousand and that's it for the whole week. He always complains he has no more, but once his family calls him he sends money immediately.

I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property. I don't know what to deal with, his family entitlement mentality or the way he neglects the kids and I and treat us like outsiders.

I am really pissed off and tired.

Sorry for the long post.

Anni3e:
Hi, I have been married for 9 years now, the problem I have with my husband is that his family members keep sucking him dry and the way he neglects us his immediate family.

He is the first child of 7 children, his siblings even the married ladies keep asking him for money. He keeps spending money on them and their husbands. His brothers keep crying they are broke, they keep leeching off him.

His two junior brothers that always ask him for money, one of them built a house in Port Harcourt and the other one built a big house in the village. Still they won't let him rest.

His married sisters are the worst. If they cough they would call him to send money, every minor thing they would expect money. Just this evening his sister called him to ask for money. We don't have a house of our own, I keep telling my husband to stop giving in to all their demands and invest the money on something, he would say I am turning him against his family.

We have 2 kids and I have told him we need to start saving for their future, I pay the electricity bill, foodstuffs, and most times the children school fees, he pays the house rent and rarely keeps money for home upkeep, he sometimes drops two thousand and that's it for the whole week. He always complains he has no more, but once his family calls him he sends money immediately.

I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property. I don't know what to deal with, his family entitlement mentality or the way he neglects the kids and I and treat us like outsiders.

I am really pissed off and tired.

Sorry for the long post.

ProfAmaben:
I'm the first born of my family and happily married. I have 4 siblings with one staying with us, there is no indoctrination here, just common sense. I trained my kid bro by buying him an online udemy python programming course for $15, today he's doing well in Lagos, my junior sister is also doing well, I don't dash money but you must use it to acquire a skill

bukatyne:
Instead of telling your husband to stop 'spending on his family', point him to projects he can spend money on.

E.g. 'My friend said there is one cheap land at Igbo Tutu' or 'how I wish we had our house, we wouldn't be bothered about Baba Mulika asking for rent every year' or 'there is one mutual funds that the entry is N200k and you get 15% returns per year. We can be paying Junior's fees from the interest'. You can also bring up investment for your kids etc.

You know what works with your husband so explore that. Also appreciate him for what he does so far.

@buying your land: I am not a fan of spouses buying stuffs behind each other so I will say deposit the money in mutual benefit/Chapel Hill/Piggybank for now while you try to make him see reason. I particularly don't like the fact you want only your name on the land; recipe for disaster as your husband is not hiding his own funds; he is just not spending it wisely.

Please which mutual fund pays 15% per year?

You should also understand where your husband is coming from: in some cultures, the 'worth' of the first son/husband of the first daughter is their ability to fund everyone's lifestyle without complaint while their own immediate family suffers.

It is a recurring theme so you re-orientate him in love and harmony to see that his family can and will survive without his handouts.

Also note that if he goes 360 and stops funding his siblings, it can cause problems for you'all.

Bluehill1051:
Mtcheeew rubbish post. I pray that your husband even die sef!

Anni3e:
Hi, I have been married for 9 years now, the problem I have with my husband is that his family members keep sucking him dry and the way he neglects us his immediate family.

He is the first child of 7 children, his siblings even the married ladies keep asking him for money. He keeps spending money on them and their husbands. His brothers keep crying they are broke, they keep leeching off him.

His two junior brothers that always ask him for money, one of them built a house in Port Harcourt and the other one built a big house in the village. Still they won't let him rest.

His married sisters are the worst. If they cough they would call him to send money, every minor thing they would expect money. Just this evening his sister called him to ask for money. We don't have a house of our own, I keep telling my husband to stop giving in to all their demands and invest the money on something, he would say I am turning him against his family.

We have 2 kids and I have told him we need to start saving for their future, I pay the electricity bill, foodstuffs, and most times the children school fees, he pays the house rent and rarely keeps money for home upkeep, he sometimes drops two thousand and that's it for the whole week. He always complains he has no more, but once his family calls him he sends money immediately.

I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property. I don't know what to deal with, his family entitlement mentality or the way he neglects the kids and I and treat us like outsiders.

I am really pissed off and tired.

Sorry for the long post.

bukatyne:
Instead of telling your husband to stop 'spending on his family', point him to projects he can spend money on.

E.g. 'My friend said there is one cheap land at Igbo Tutu' or 'how I wish we had our house, we wouldn't be bothered about Baba Mulika asking for rent every year' or 'there is one mutual funds that the entry is N200k and you get 15% returns per year. We can be paying Junior's fees from the interest'. You can also bring up investment for your kids etc.

You know what works with your husband so explore that. Also appreciate him for what he does so far.

@buying your land: I am not a fan of spouses buying stuffs behind each other so I will say deposit the money in mutual benefit/Chapel Hill/Piggybank for now while you try to make him see reason. I particularly don't like the fact you want only your name on the land; recipe for disaster as your husband is not hiding his own funds; he is just not spending it wisely.

You should also understand where your husband is coming from: in some cultures, the 'worth' of the first son/husband of the first daughter is their ability to fund everyone's lifestyle without complaint while their own immediate family suffers.

It is a recurring theme so you re-orientate him in love and harmony to see that his family can and will survive without his handouts.

Also note that if he goes 360 and stops funding his siblings, it can cause problems for you'all.

bukatyne:
Families could be leeches and parasites.

And that picture is horrible.

Anni3e:
Hi, I have been married for 9 years now, the problem I have with my husband is that his family members keep sucking him dry and the way he neglects us his immediate family.

He is the first child of 7 children, his siblings even the married ladies keep asking him for money. He keeps spending money on them and their husbands. His brothers keep crying they are broke, they keep leeching off him.

His two junior brothers that always ask him for money, one of them built a house in Port Harcourt and the other one built a big house in the village. Still they won't let him rest.

His married sisters are the worst. If they cough they would call him to send money, every minor thing they would expect money. Just this evening his sister called him to ask for money. We don't have a house of our own, I keep telling my husband to stop giving in to all their demands and invest the money on something, he would say I am turning him against his family.

We have 2 kids and I have told him we need to start saving for their future, I pay the electricity bill, foodstuffs, and most times the children school fees, he pays the house rent and rarely keeps money for home upkeep, he sometimes drops two thousand and that's it for the whole week. He always complains he has no more, but once his family calls him he sends money immediately.

I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property. I don't know what to deal with, his family entitlement mentality or the way he neglects the kids and I and treat us like outsiders.

I am really pissed off and tired.

Sorry for the long post.

Bluehill1051:
Mtcheeew rubbish post. I pray that your husband even die sef!

Anni3e:
I am not buying behind his back, I would tell him but I am not including his name. Do you know how many times I have told him to buy a land and start a project. He won't, he prefers spending all the money on his siblings.

Anni3e:
Hi, I have been married for 9 years now, the problem I have with my husband is that his family members keep sucking him dry and the way he neglects us his immediate family.

He is the first child of 7 children, his siblings even the married ladies keep asking him for money. He keeps spending money on them and their husbands. His brothers keep crying they are broke, they keep leeching off him.

His two junior brothers that always ask him for money, one of them built a house in Port Harcourt and the other one built a big house in the village. Still they won't let him rest.

His married sisters are the worst. If they cough they would call him to send money, every minor thing they would expect money. Just this evening his sister called him to ask for money. We don't have a house of our own, I keep telling my husband to stop giving in to all their demands and invest the money on something, he would say I am turning him against his family.

We have 2 kids and I have told him we need to start saving for their future, I pay the electricity bill, foodstuffs, and most times the children school fees, he pays the house rent and rarely keeps money for home upkeep, he sometimes drops two thousand and that's it for the whole week. He always complains he has no more, but once his family calls him he sends money immediately.

I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property. I don't know what to deal with, his family entitlement mentality or the way he neglects the kids and I and treat us like outsiders.

I am really pissed off and tired.

Sorry for the long post.

elektra:
I knew it. SMDH.