₦airaland Forum

funmisticqueen2:
men are more disposable. The sooner you accept that reality, the better. It's a man's world afterall.

NaBanga:
Walking away from someone can never lead to hospitalization or death. Walking away will never lead someone to jail or execution for murder. It's unfortunate that many Nigerian men are still living in darkness and ignorance. However do as you wish. I'm glad so many are escaping the zoo.

Poorboy:
who is the idiot that I can kill myself to afford to be in their presence?

Look I am not a type of person that chase fantasies!


My statement is grow with the mentality that no man on Earth owes you anything (money, clothes, food etc)

9jamyHome:
Bruh, maturity doesn't come with age. Some are actually babies even in their 30s. Women are like schools on their own that a man needs to attend and graduate then you can be sure of your readiness to cope with their tantrums.
It's really not difficult at all...just be sure of your own maturity.

C'est fini je peux sortir!
Sante!

ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

Poorboy:
Broke man ,broke man if her father is not broke will she be totally dependent on you.

How old is she?

Is she educated?

Does she have a job?

Is the other sisters married and doing well than you people?

Is she from a wealthy home, like she is used to comfort already?

Which state do you reside?

See you cannot satisfy greed, your wife is a greedy person. How can your wife ask you to look for money for her to travel out then you feel you have a wife.

Work on your emotions don't allow the term wife to make you try to impress, if you put yourself in unnecessary pressure to make money and die before your burial another man will already be sleeping with her. She is the money type.

Tell people the truth and let them know their worth, I once told my fiancee I am not your responsibility, if you can't survive quit.

Don't regret beating her, though I don't subscribe to that.

Heathrow44:
Emm fumigatequeen2 or watever dat is, re u a queen & deserve t be called a queen which obviously u re (sarcastic) then go & work & prove ur worth, don't come here & say being a woman in nowadays is worth sth cos is not & don't think u re anything special cos u re not, they re lies used as strategies 4 we t get want we want( its called brainwashing), accept it as reality.. No woman is special or a queen, & all those lies that uve been told t inflate ur ego so dat ugly truths like this won't damage ur self worth & self esteem.. I see it all d time, one girl from nowhere comes out & start shouting " on this day a queen was born" which queen??

BluntTheApostle:
So, marriage is a school that only men must attend?

Women are allowed to be immature, but men are God who are above anger?

Men are perfect, and should never get angry? But women can throw tantrums?

Listen, you people should stop encouraging bad behaviors.

If a woman is allowed to nag, a man should also be allowed to slap sense into her.

After all, women like to talk, and men are more of action than words. Abi no be so?

ademidedavid:
It was just a slap at her back.....just to caution her because I am not the talking type

BluntTheApostle:
Walking away from unresolved issues can land one in a mental home.

Anyone who thinks physical abuse is the only damaging abuse, then they are living in darkness and ignorance.

Emotional abuse which may result from constant nagging can land one in hospital. It can land one in jail.

For example, a woman nags her husband. Husband rushes out of the house. He drives out without concentrating. He runs over someone, and lands up in jail.

How about that?

Deoboss:
Marriage is good only if you meet the right lady for you which is very scarce out there now cause un-realistic expectations from wives nowadays will ruin most marriages

litigator:
Give her a matching order. You are the man of the house. If she wants to go into cream online without selling her body, leave her be and support her. If she nor sell cream for the first 6months, body go tell her.

Also, give her upkeep funds in bulk for the entire month. She will be tempted to waste it in weeks, once she does, let her have nothing for the rest of the month.

Tell her to fall back on her cream business to sustain the family and mean it. She lacks financial management skills. She will change if you start allowing her to handle some financial decisions like managing feeding and upkeep budget for the house monthly.

If you stand your ground for the first two months without doing as if you cannot live without her and trying to over spoil her, she will learn. You are used to taking full responsibility for the family upkeep and going the extra mile in making your family comfortable, sometimes you even paint stories about your reality, making her think it is always easy. If you are worth 100, make her believe it is 70 or 50, that way she will keep her taste at 40 or 60. If you tell her or make her believe it is 300 when it is 70, you will slave to keep up with her taste.

She will get advice that you are being selfish and she go begin change am for you. So you need to check yourself too. She was not so from the beginning I suppose. So, hold a meeting with your self, by your self and with your own mind and tell yourself the truth.

Monitor her online business and if she wants to start sleeping with men for money, you can't stop her. But allow her make a decision on which way to follow. If sleeping with men is her decision. Separate yourself and your kid from her and leave her house, or have her leave the house.

I deliberately allowed my wife carry our house expenses since April cos I have not been paid for two months. Guess what? Where 30k will hardly feed us for a week before now, 5k will feed us for a week now. Although I spent a chunk stocking the house with basics.

My woman spends carefully now because na her money. Me self don adjust my taste, and I often discuss the lessons I am learning from her with her and we laugh over it. She accuses me of been a wasteful spender over the years and not saving for rainy days. I have stopped having HBP simply because I want to give my family the best.

My self-confidence don dey increase because I dey learn from her. And give her exactly what she truly deserves and not what she wants. We keep it as it is, while I go out of my way to spoil her silly at times. But she is learning contentment. Hope you nor dey do side chicks and waste money on strangers only to come here and complain? If she changed suddenly, chances are that she knows, and na why she dey change am. Nobody be fool na.

Mind you, this is the same woman I desperately wanted to divorce in 2017-early 2019, because we had become torn in each other's flesh. What changed? I just stopped caring too much, started acting like a better man and learnt her psychological games. Two can play the game better. Where she deliberately does things that will ordinarily push the old me into anger, the new me keeps calm, analyses her actions/possible intentions and will not play into her hands. I use her intentions to yab her until she almost starts crying. Emotional blackmail nor dey work again. And she no longer knows my next move. I find myself dancing or playing good jamz and singing along, when she expects me to be mad as hell.

If you want to keep me because of money alone submit yourself for ritual money so the family can have a better life, accept the life I can offer at this time while we discuss ideas on how to better our life financially, or get the Bleep out of my life and go meet those better men out there you just recently discovered. I am not holding you. That is my new philosophy and she knows. If she corporates, I will give her mad TLC she won't need 21K diamond rings to make her feel like a woman. And we can build together and buy that for her cos she deserves it.

You should listen to Dale Carnegie's how to win and influence people. It changed my perception of how I was handling things. And believe me when I say that I am now enjoying my marriage because I have developed better people skills.

Develop better people skills, and your wife will humble her self or move out of your life and spare you the stress.

This was what worked for me and all my marital problems disappeared. My baby is even more beautiful than she was few years back because she has peace of mind. Trust it solves your marital problems.

Shalom.

mydeporch:
This is how they turn the remaining good men to another thing. Women got to thread carefully in marriage. Greediness ain't a good thing. Am amazed at how some are faulting the husband...@Ademidedavid What you wont tolerate at the long run, dont start taking it now. She is exhibiting some characters which you need to be cautious of....@emmaodet and @exc2000 have said my mind.

I do tell my husband anytime we are talking nd he says some women did some crazy things, I would say dy need just one resetting slap. Just as people will be saying men got problems.....av come to realize some women own sef na craze level....if u cant sit down nd reason on ur own, u get people to reason wt u nd u no get am too....people dealing wt u need to wise up.
Just as some women dont have appreciative husbands, we have men too who despite everything, they will still tell you u have done nothing. When we are not in peoples shoes, we dont seem to understand how hurtful berating words could be to an hardworking man.
I only read 2 pages nd I dont like some peoples response....
Op please pick the wise pieces of advice on this ur thread...

ngwababe:
Bros, let her visit her family for at least a month.

dayorich:
As you ask me now, who I go ask?

Na me born am?

You nor date am take know her behaviour?

I beg park wella and carry your cross because you don carry oooo

ademidedavid:
The thing just weak me, how can a woman you call your wife shout at you on any little issue?
Experience is really the best teacher

ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

funmisticqueen2:
I don't cast pearls before swine.

Of course nobody is special. But I am more equal than others and a princess by birthright. So me working to be a queen that i will still become, is pointless really. No man needs to tell me what i already know because he wants access to my vagina and womb. Dead on arrival, if you ask me.

If i want to work, which i already do, it is for myself and because i enjoy it. Not because i need to prove anything to any man.

BluntTheApostle:
Imagine. So, a man has to stop a woman from nagging? Are women babies?

If a woman can't control her mouth, or can't find a more peaceful way to resolve issues, why should she expect her husband to meet her agbero method with an angelic face?

A woman who nags would invariably be beaten up one day. If her husband doesn't do it, a total stranger might.

Nagging is bad. There are far more conflict resolutions that women can explore when dealing with relationship conflicts. Nagging escalates conflicts. It causes emotional trauma. When you nag, you worry your husband and take away his ability to think with a clear head.

The worst thing that can happen to a man is to be joined with a nagging wife.

Even the Bible says it is better to live on the rooftop than with such women.

funmisticqueen2:
the ratio of vmen to women is actually 1: 1. Get your facts right

funmisticqueen2:
I don't cast pearls before swine.

Of course nobody is special. But I am more equal than others and a princess by birthright. So me working to be a queen that i will still become, is pointless really. No man needs to tell me what i already know because he wants access to my vagina and womb. Dead on arrival, if you ask me.

BluntTheApostle:
So, marriage is a school that only men must attend?

Women are allowed to be immature, but men are God who are above anger?

Men are perfect, and should never get angry? But women can throw tantrums?

Listen, you people should stop encouraging bad behaviors.

If a woman is allowed to nag, [b]a man should also be allowed to slap sense into h[/b]er.

After all, women like to talk, and men are more of action than words. Abi no be so?

Heathrow44:
Babe, yep at least u agree dat nobody's special, equality is everything.. Having conversation w u is ok by d way cos u sound calm & collected(not sarcastic).. & u re thoughtful although I don't agree w u on many things u said

Heathrow44:
Madam is not true! D society is wired t protect women, the society so much expects a man t die b4 their 60th birthday as a result of d emotional abuse they av suffered from women, we need t protect the men! We have so many people speaking abuh d girl child, Equality for women etc wat abt d boy child, equality of men in tight positions, protection from prostrate cancer, Emotional trauma, .. The women are championing equality & making sure d society protect them even from murder cos they re women & should be dealt w little restraint... Equality means everything that women should contribute equally t household incomes, not ur money is our money & mi money is my money, they should be equality of men to women when going t Afghanistan for war cos the men re d ones dying out there in d badlands 4 dem gals t come online here typing crap.. That u re alive here funmainstic queen typing is cos military personeel most especially men are d war front protecting u...

Poorboy:
who is the idiot that I can kill myself to afford to be in their presence?

Look I am not a type of person that chase fantasies!


My statement is grow with the mentality that no man on Earth owes you anything (money, clothes, food etc)

koyyess:
How many of your bosses have you beaten up for insulting you? How many of your fellow male strangers you get insults from end up getting beaten by you?

So it's when a female opens her mouth to insult you, you know you remember to use your hands?

I just hope you don't lose your eye one day with this foolish talk.

Animal.

Heathrow44:
It seems u re bitter feminist!! Until d Women learn t talk sensibly like a human being that cares & has feelings then I don't intend 4 d battering t recede anytym soon!!
PS, I always advocate for restraint when possible

Verbal abuse= Domestic violence & battering against women

That's my take I'm not a hypocrite & someone that lifts feminist rights here like all those oda men that come here shouting no man should lay their hands on a woman buh do it in their private rooms more like Fifty shades of grey!
We should always choose our words carefully & not damage someone psychologically & expect t be exempted cos u re a woman!

wany:
Dont argue with broke dudes talk less of an aboki.you look me in the face and slap me,for what ? Who born you.is that what you inherited from your dad.6feet awaits you.for sure I guarantee you.low life only silly and damage sick sychos support domestic violence. ladies beware na them be this.

HarunaWest:
Lol...Come and marry me nah whether i wont domesticate you like Bingo.
Yall talking and bragging.
You think this is America or the west, try nansense, you go collect and maybe na you go first go the 6 feet first afterall na two fighting.
Dan Inska.