ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

Poorboy:


I like men wey get sense, who you owe are your parents, I doubt if he has a wife like that he can remember to buy anything for his parents.

I repeat young guys try and secure your future even though you are married, investing in a woman is bad business

Some will ask how is it bad business?

If you try all you could to satisfy a greedy woman when it's time to leave, she will leave you to your fate and by that time you won't have anything left with you again, because all your money was been consumed by her.

I was given a marriage list of about 1.5 million just the list only, that's what is delaying me from getting married, what did I do, I paused the marriage.

Now I am building a 5 self-contained rooms for rent, I will finish that before I continue the marriage because I come to realize that for marriage to be successful it's money that drives love now.

meetme01:
You don F-up. Raising your hands on any woman talkless your wife has degraded you. That's the bitter truth.

Back to the main issue. Your wife needs your unreserved apology. You need remorseful which is through your attitude. Let her know you are deeply sorry.

To her, is she not working? Why have you refused to set her up in a biz? One problem I have realized in today's marriage is, finance. It's really creating a lot of issues in most marriage. As a man, if you earn from three sources, declare only two. Let her know how the money is spent to the last kobo. That was the initial problem, you need to fix that part asap

ademidedavid:

Yes, she has been listening to how most of her friends have travelled out and seeing them on social media, how they send things home and the others on instagram but are we now running a race? Not that we are doing so badly here in Nigeria.

LegitGirl:


You’re not a serious person. You’re not the talking type... what are you then, the beating type?

Nonsense and ingredients! Coward!

ademidedavid:

Not that, just that we stay in a flat and I hate embarrassment in my marriage and she was already raising her voice.....

ademidedavid:

Yes, she has been listening to how most of her friends have travelled out and seeing them on social media, how they send things home and the others on instagram but are we now running a race? Not that we are doing so badly here in Nigeria.

metme01:
You don F-up. Raising your hands on any woman talkless your wife has degraded you. That's the bitter truth.

Back to the main issue. Your wife needs your unreserved apology. You need remorseful which is through your attitude. Let her know you are deeply sorry.

To her, is she not working? Why have you refused to set her up in a biz? One problem I have realized in today's marriage is, finance. It's really creating a lot of issues in most monniluv. As a man, if you earn from three sources, declare only two. Let her know how the money is spent to the last kobo. That was the initial problem, you need to fix that part asap

ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

NaBanga:
So she shouted and instead of shouting back or walking away, you hit her. Nigerian men are very weak vessels. If you don't have the money just say it's not available. If she insists, tell her to make her own. If she continues, ask her to leave. Hitting another human being when your life isn't in danger, is just animal behavior.

meetme01:
You don F-up. Raising your hands on any woman talkless your wife has degraded you. That's the bitter truth.

Back to the main issue. Your wife needs your unreserved apology. You need remorseful which is through your attitude. Let her know you are deeply sorry.

NaBanga:
So she shouted and instead of shouting back or walking away, you hit her. Nigerian men are very weak vessels. If you don't have the money just say it's not available. If she insists, tell her to make her own. If she continues, ask her to leave. Hitting another human being when your life isn't in danger, is just animal behavior.

Chiomsies:
Oga,being a real man entails self control, all women are the same o they have power in the mouth and most times don't mean what they say,you should never have raised your hand on a woman,wife or not. That said, please apologize to your wife and have a talk with her,fighting gets you no where and don't be deceived that a another wife will do better.
Please don't lay your hands on. Any woman ever again

Oluneutral:




Fine, apologize to her for raising up your hands on her explaining to her that it wasn't intentional that it was out of provocation and calmly tell her that you can't do more than you're already doing presently, so you advise her to spend her money the way she deem fit, afterall, it's her money.

koyyess:
Why will you bring your marriage issue to a forum like this, filled with agberos that lack simple home training plus self discipline/control?

Don't you know 99.9% of entities in this forum are from disfunctional homes?

I pity you oo.

If I were your wife and you slapped me, my respect for you will go down to 0%.

There are many ways you can stop your wife from nagging without resorting to violence. Only Apes use violence as a problem solver when they can no longer make use of their brains.

If you want to take advices from unstable entities here who can't even attract a decent girl or build a decent home be prepared to die young.

Good luck.

BluntTheApostle:


Imagine. So, a man has to stop a woman from nagging? Are women babies?

If a woman can't control her mouth, or can't find a more peaceful way to resolve issues, why should she expect her husband to meet her agbero method with an angelic face?

A woman who nags would invariably be beaten up one day. If her husband doesn't do it, a total stranger might.

Nagging is bad. There are far more conflict resolutions that women can explore when dealing with relationship conflicts. Nagging escalates conflicts. It causes emotional trauma. When you nag, you worry your husband and take away his ability to think with a clear head.

The worst thing that can happen to a man is to be joined with a nagging wife.

Even the Bible says it is better to live on the rooftop than with such women.

pDudd:


Callotti the Callo

Chai I don miss you o. How na

ademidedavid:

She actually mentioned that its because she depends on my money and she doesn't want my money again, she has been over influenced with these fake ladies making cream online......without wanting to know the real source of their income

OdenKelechi:
I might end up not getting married like this. Cos all these stories of struggling marriages plus the ones I've seen, I'm tired.

Tinyemeka:


All fingers are not equal.

All cerebrum do not fire equally.

Shinny1:
Please apologize to her and promise her and yourself never to raise your hand on her again...make sure you don't tell her your total income again.. maybe divide it by 3 and tell her one part cos must times we might earn high but after all expenses and saves,you realize that the money is not as big as we think...
Tell her how you want her to cut away from her friends so as to face her marriage...cos they are impacting on her negatively...

seanwilliam:
imagine somebody you dey feed, cloth, house, sponsor and practically responsible to every of her demands..and yet she still get the audacity to follow you talk anyhow... as I dey read the op post, I just dey put myself in such position, and dey imagine what I'll do to her that she will forever and ever and ever regret in her life.. imagine spending the largest part of the salary you toiled 30 days for on a woman and she is indirectly telling you " what have you done for me"... 30 days of insult you get from your boss, co worker, you denying yourself some life luxuries, u risk your life to go work everyday etc and person still get mouth to tell you say you no try Hahahahahah

.
I trust the almighty God, he no go give me that kind wife. Cos I dont even want to think of what I'll do for her. ..

.



This is the solution if I were you ...
1. Start taking overdose of red pills
2. Start reverse psychology on her
3. Spend more on your kiddo
4. Start investing
5. Comot mind for her matter ( if you dont, you go get hypertension)
6. Whenever she picks argument with you, walk out and go lodge outside.

7. Do like you dont care
8. Ignore her antics
9. Never make the mistake of having heart to heart talk with her.cos when a lady starts misbehaving, den no dey hear word..
10. Let her realise her mistakes and come to apologise herself.
11. Make she go out go find work by herself.. cos if you establish her, she no go appreciate..





Most painful words to me this life is make person tell me " what have you done for me " ( saying it directly or indirectly)after I hussle day and night for me and you..and you have the guts to tell me that word?? Even my mama no fit tell me that kind word make I gree , cos she know say I be agbero

meetme01:
You don F-up. Raising your hands on any woman talkless your wife has degraded you. That's the bitter truth.

Back to the main issue. Your wife needs your unreserved apology. You need remorseful which is through your attitude. Let her know you are deeply sorry.

To her, is she not working? Why have you refused to set her up in a biz? One problem I have realized in today's marriage is, finance. It's really creating a lot of issues in most marriage. As a man, if you earn from three sources, declare only two. Let her know how the money is spent to the last kobo. That was the initial problem, you need to fix that part asap

travelland:



You're already getting worked up sir please deal with your anger issues