₦airaland Forum

ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

when we talk about church now.. U will say we Christians follow daddy GOs sheeply and u will be making jest of Christians but see where u have led your family now... Now your wife is now pushing u to rob at th highway despite how comfortable you are.. Its a shame... Do u know some men dont make a quarter of what u make per month and their wives still give them peace... Do u wanna know why Pls join us we sheeples....my wife is a choirmember in church.. She belongs to 4 other departments in the church... She doesnt use earings.. Dont use trousers.. When i wake up.. I teach her the word of God.. When we wanna sleep we study the word of God... We go to vigils 4times in 7days per week.. And now leme ask u... How will such a woman turn out weird of a sudden... U better take hold of that marriage and return to Jesus.. Else if your wife sees an avenue to follow rich daddies she wont hesitate the way shess looking for money now oo..

ademidedavid:
She does like 2 or 3 times yearly due to distance

I mean let her go, until when you will decide to bring her back. Maybe, her conscience will come back when there are gossips flying.

ngwababe:
I mean let her go, until when you will decide to bring her back. Maybe, her conscience will come back, when there are gossips flying.

Ooooh I understand better now

Beatswim:
when we talk about church now.. U will say we Christians follow daddy GOs sheeply and u will be making jest of Christians but see where u have led your family now... Now your wife is now pushing u to rob at th highway despite how comfortable you are.. Its a shame... Do u know some men dont make a quarter of what u make per month and their wives still give them peace... Do u wanna know why Pls join us we sheeples....my wife is a choirmember in church.. She belongs to 4 other departments in the church... She doesnt use earings.. Dont use trousers.. When i wake up.. I teach her the word of God.. When we wanna sleep we study the word of God... We go to vigils 4times in 7days per week.. And now leme ask u... How will such a woman turn out weird of a sudden... U better take hold of that marriage and return to Jesus.. Else if your wife sees an avenue to follow rich daddies she wont hesitate the way shess looking for money now oo..

Shes a church person and going to church isn't a criteria because most church goers are pretenders.....Judas was with Jesus for years and despite that he sold our Lord Jesus Christ....

ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

Most Marriages are now like this.

Heathrow44:
Ok, buh saying women t men is 1:1 is completely false & misleading!

check WHO and UNICEF

ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

Another stupid post. BTW how old are you?
Motherfuckers always coming up with fake stories.

She is an adult who also is eligible to work.if she wants to live a flamboyant lifestyle she has to hustle for money too.

funmisticqueen2:
the ratio of vmen to women is actually 1: 1. Get your facts right

state your source fact bug!!!!!

MSEdLAW:
state your source fact bug!!!!!

WHO and UNICEF world population statistics

Oluneutral:
Fine, apologize to her for raising up your hands on her explaining to her that it wasn't intentional that it was out of provocation

Only? (at the bolded) Is this coming from a man? If you are, you are definitely not married. This would be the end of his authority in that house. He should never have raised his hands on her in the first place. Seeing the mentality of the woman in question, if the OP takes your advice and does this, he is signing up for more verbal abuse from her and since he already apologised, he wont be able to caution her otherwise if she messes with him again. OP made a mistake by hitting her, this is what she wanted to achieve so she can find a good reason to do what ever bad she has been advised to do by her friends. She has seen the extent of his immaturity (and that is the fact he is a coward who can use his strength on a woman but will not use it to make money).

OP I doubt your wife is educated, if she is, she probably didnt do well at school. If she did, she would have thought about using her certificate rather than blame you for the money drought. Afterall its women that are applying for Canadian visa and adding their spouses to the application. If you are directly responsible for her not developing a career, she is always gonna be on your neck to make her live the life you didnt let her live. If you are not directly responsible for her lack of career life, It is your duty to invest in her business so she can grow and travel as she likes. Only then would she leave you alone to do what you like.

As for your going physical with her, I have no advice for you except that you should never apologise with mouth alone. If you are gonna tell her you are sorry, its either you go withdraw a huge sum of cash (take a loan if you must) and throw her a birthday party or anniversary party or invest heavily in her business or go get a new job. Sha, you must show working, do something new.

You hurt her with your actions, you can not apologise without action!

NaBanga:
Walking away can never "force" anyone into a mental home. It would be good if there were more mental homes in Nigeria due to the level of mental health cases walking around. The truth is that you only want to justify your barbarianism. You want to hit someone because the same happened to you as a child. You want to hit someone because you have no power to hit anyone, except a person who is physically weaker than you. You won't hit those politicians who have you begging. You are frustrated. It is fine sha. Stay in the zoo. We all know what things belong in the zoo. Please Stay there and enjoy.

Please, stop being emotional.

You can't excuse one abuse and condemn the other.

9jamyHome:
The bolded isn't encouraged at all. Never allow it to happen. I understand your point but we need to understand that women are wired that way; it's a natural phenomenon. The best is to have perfect understanding aside love. Love alone doesn't guarantee a successful marriage but coupled with understanding, one will sail through.

C'est fini!

Please, how are women wired?

Wired to be rude, wired to nag?

Please, how are men wired?

koyyess:
What is this one saying?

You are here justifying domestic abuse and you think I am going to clap for you.

How many of your fellow men have you beaten up for insulting you constantly?

It's like someone had never poured hot water on you before.

Keep carrying that warped up ideology in your head you hear?

You don't even read the Bible well enough to understand what it says.

Mumu

Throwing tantrums already? You can't stand the truth. Typical of a mannerless, classless, agbero woman.

Tell me, what is domestic violence?

You are justifying verbal abuse but condemning physical abuse. Maybe you don't know that there are four major forms of spousal or domestic abuse/violence.

1. Physical abuse

2. Verbal abuse

3. Economic abuse

4. Emotional abuse.

ademidedavid:
Shes a church person and going to church isn't a criteria because most church goers are pretenders.....Judas was with Jesus for years and despite that he sold our Lord Jesus Christ....

well spoken..

JohnOkolo:
If you were never ready to build and worj towards the lifestyle you want. Madam you should never think about getting married cause you cannot tell a Man you don't owe him, he got married to you for both of you to make a family and work towards it and stoo thinking anyone come to earth to bring pleasure and meet all your needs.

Oga abeg shift

You want to claim men owe women nothing but if I tell you say women owe you nothing e go pain you.

If men owe women nothing then women owe men nothing too

Shikena

ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

Check her friends.

osazsky:
did the man complain of money.in India women provide for their men..na them they do marriage and pay bride price...sex is overrated apart from sex u girls have nothing to offer and dats d plain truth

Then date your fellow men na, since women have nothing to offer you

Poorboy:
no man feels entitled to a woman, no man owes you. Look for what to do.

Sell rat poison if you don't have what to do

I repeat no man owes you money even in marriage.

Women are Doctor's, Nurses, lawyers, Engineers helping their husbands and living their life.

No man owes any woman

How is this long story my concern?


No woman owes you shishi


No women owes you anything even in marriage

Bola146:
O ga o, let her know your worth, and always stand on how you manage your expenses. She is physically okay, let her go and work harder so that she can lavish it anyhow . I don't know why some women no get sense

i dont knw u...but i think am inlove wit u already

KanwuliaExtra:
Please, explain.

To a major extent, the income bands of people tend to be determined by the level of their cerebral aptitude.

If you're smart with above average intelligence in today's world, you're very likely to secure a well paying job or run a successful business. If you're very smart, then it's very likely that you'd have a lot of good options to choose from as far as very well paid jobs are concerned. E.g Doctors, architects, investment bankers, fund managers, data scientists, even engineer ex-boyfriends, etc. For some of these people, acing exams, interviews and so on just happens naturally without much stress. Because they were born smart.

Conversely, the not so smart have got the odds stacked up against them and would have to really work hard to make an impact. Unfortunately, they were just born that way. They didn't get to choose their intelligence level.

Biko, it's not that I'm making a case for the not so successful to blame their (mis)fortunes on their aptitude levels - hardwork is very relevant - but one's natural intelligence also plays a key role. I think.

obontami:
Another stupid post. BTW how old are you?
Motherfuckers always coming up with fake stories.

After knowing your moniker and seeing your signature, I have no choice than to reserve my comments..... Bless you

Tinyemeka:
To a major extent, the income bands of people tend to be determined by the level of their cerebral aptitude.

If you're smart with above average intelligence in today's world, you're very likely to secure a well paying job or run a successful business. If you're very smart, then it's very likely that you'd have a lot of good options to choose from as far as very well paid jobs are concerned. E.g Doctors, architects, investment bankers, fund managers, data scientists, even engineer ex-boyfriends, etc. For some of these people, acing exams, interviews and so on just happens naturally without much stress. Because they were born smart.

Conversely, the not so smart have got the odds stacked up against them and would have to really work hard to make an impact. Unfortunately, they were just born that way. They didn't get to choose their intelligence level.

Biko, it's not that I'm making a case for the not so successful to blame their (mis)fortunes on their aptitude levels - hardwork is very relevant - but one's natural intelligence also plays a key role. I think.

Thanks for the detailed explanation.
I agree.✔️

OsuIgboIpob:
This is stupîd!
Always use your brain.

No be to dey always do the bidding of every thing wey get hole in-between legs.

For your information Mr, you that always use your brain apology doesn't imply that you are wrong but is a sign of maturity for peace to reign....
If you are married and have a good home or you came from a good/great home you will understand what it means to strive for peace to reign in your home not just for your wife but also for your children's sake and for your own sanity....
There is nothing as great as having a good home...

History555:
Op, my wife tried such stunt with me, that see emeka is rich, he flies to and fro with his wife and kids.
i told her neva to repeat such nonsense to my ears. That the next time she does so i will kick her out of my house so that she can go and marry emeka.
Secondly i told her to go and work for her money that she's a liability and i hate liabilities. Afterall there are millions of women working abi she get she fine pass them.
But trust women she repeated it again and i gave it back to her that chika is a woman like her yet is working, earning money and not a liability she should go and find work.
This is a woman i hve never asked for a dime during dating and being married. Since then she has not tried it.
Op, in marriage dont take nonsense from your wife, taking and swallowing insult is not a sign of maturity but mumurity.
Another example during an argument my wife said she regrets getting married to me, i replied i regret marrying her too. Should we file for divorce she kept quiet.
Ooooop man up you are the king in the marriage not your wife. No time 4 nonsense

Bro I dey owe you too cold bottle of beer oo. Any day you see me just hold me for trouser in fact call police if I no buy ham.
You too get sense!

Shinny1:
For your information Mr, you that always use your brain apology doesn't imply that you are wrong but is a sign of maturity for peace to reign....
If you are married and have a good home or you came from a good/great home you will understand what it means to strive for peace to reign in your home not just for your wife but also for your children's sake and for your own sanity....
There is nothing as great as having a good home...

Maturity and compromising your happiness and sanity is not the same.
You can never be a happy person with this mentality that you must allow peace to always reign... I bet your sense can't comprehend that...
You will continue to live a worthless and unhappy life if you allow people to manipulate you for their own selfish interests.

If the guy works himself out and eventually dies, his wife and children will live their lives and move on.
Always put yourself first and that won't necessarily make you selfish.

HarunaWest:
Sorry to say but if I were in your shoes, that slap will land on her cheeks.
I hate when people don't appreciate someone's efforts.
If she want to live flamboyantly, then she should learn to make her own money. I won't take an insult on my person from someone that isnt contributing to my development.
Don't apologize for slapping her, just lock up. You are the man of the house not the other way round.
However, if she doesn't deem it fit to apologize to you, just dey look am.
If you dare apologize, you will kuku loose the remaining small respect that she has for you cos from look of things that woman has been brainwashed by material stuff. Cheers

@ademidedavid this guy has given you the richest piece of advice so far. You should keep your dignity. Yoo haven't done anything to crucify you for.
@HarunaWest, you have spoken well.

travelland:
Mr cautioner, hope you don't continue this way, if your wife can't tell you to go out and hustle I wonder who can encourage you in this life

Oh! E easy naim her father no save the money for her to travel out. If she get brothers, na how many girlfriends or wife her brothers don carry travel abroad? Them swear for her own head to hustle to fund her expensive taste herself? A man should not for any reason marry a broke lady with high taste.

ademidedavid:
Its not bro but a lecturing job.....I have been trying all means to do so but she just doesn't like the job. ..

This means she cannot even do your kind of job to take care of herself, not to talk of the family and she has the audacity to play Oliver Twist for you to fund her fantasy lifestyle. If you dare apologize to her, you fall yourself hand big time. I don vex, just use her do money ritual �

ademidedavid:
Not that, just that we stay in a flat and I hate embarrassment in my marriage and she was already raising her voice.....

You responded well to this person who called you a coward whille...

ademidedavid:
Its not for you to believe, just pray it doesn't happen to you.....but when it does happen, you will always live to believe any marital issues and work towards perfecting your home

...now responded with frivolity to the one showing more concern, I guess you want anyone to tell you the truth.

KanwuliaExtra:
I say dudes dey suffer marriage wahala too, but na mostly women dey cry on and offline.

My stance is that it is good to know that MEN ALSO CRY in marriages and relationships.

Make dem see as e be. . . . especially on this awa NL!

Na weak men dey cry.I swear that woman too small to cause me headache.