₦airaland Forum

25tolife:
u want to shake table abi?

hehehehe

Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.
I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.
When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams,my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.
My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc

Our fight now
Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2million to start a business etc.
Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.
Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it
My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.
So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. Its a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also hes the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and thats because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship


7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

You know what...
At first I actually thought it was my girlfriend that wrote this whole thing Abt me.... the issue we have right now looks similar with yours...we are temporarily on hold...
I love ladies who push you into doing things that will help your life...
Infact you are just like my Esther...

See, i understand everything you wrote up there....and I also understand all that ur guy is going through...all this I hate Nigeria blah blah blah, I don't want masters it's a waste of money and time....thats exactly what I have been singing since 2yrs now...
Ok listen to my advice
There are four things that bothers you right now
*Your guy
*His future (your future with him)
*Your age
*Marriage
Now...don't pressure him...but one thing I need you to do right since you also ambitious about your future and all...
Why don't you guys join hands and create a biz....
Because I can categorically tell you that your guy doesn't have interest in furthering his education into masters level(for now)...if he wants it he wants it abroad....it's like an excuse to avoid doing masters now... he knows going abroad won't be easy or won't be now...
I can tell you that abroad sef , he doesn't have strong interest in it again as he used to...yes tell him that I said it...the Corona virus is changing his mind and presently he is going through a lot ...
However, out of the below
*Going for courses
*Starting a biz
*Learning a skill

He is likely to go for starting a biz... because this is the point where I am right now...
So pls you guys can join hands to get a biz...
And then since he is a computer science guy...he should try to put up some skills in that line and push for other jobs while you his gf go about your feasibility study about a viable biz you both can lay your hands on...you understand me ..
So he is making money and you both are contributing toward creating your biz...

I won't lie to you acmepreneur nobody wants courses for now with the whole thing going on in Nigeria...nobody wants to waste fund starting a course so it's better to start a biz(as in be an employer of labor).. that's what I am working towards now...
Thanks

Godoverevery:
hmmn....too much pressure.
I hope you also doing your masters yourself.

Maybe you should channel all this you are telling to yourself.
Is not cool Wen a lady is pushing her guy to work harder , complaining about him not earning enough while she is doing nothing herself.

No man likes a nagging woman.

Stop pointing him where the money at....why not go get the money yourself.

God bless you , she can never be satisfied .
I pity the guy self because he can never satisfy this woman . If am d man I go don japa for this unsatisfied woman

Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.
I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.
When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams,my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.
My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc

Our fight now
Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2million to start a business etc.
Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.
Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it
My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.
So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. Its a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also hes the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and thats because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship


7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

Japa Japa Japa

Over ambicios women made some man goes into ritual and illegal stuff like yahoo , please don’t make up with him and let him be whatever he want to be with the little he’s having and go and build ur own dangote with ur nagging .
The guy don suffer gan oooo , how will he be coping with someone like u .
You can never be satisfy and u will always want more till you push him to death and breaking up with him is like saving is life please leave the poor boy alone aunty. Please is mom need him alive and is dad is dead don kill him use ur nagging on ur brothers .

Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.
I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.
When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams,my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.
My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc

Our fight now
Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2million to start a business etc.
Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.
Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it
My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.
So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. Its a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also hes the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and thats because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship


7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

aunty the way u are going.. U will marry late oo.. Why not support him in his chosen career both financially and prayers or better still if your aspirations are bigger than your spouse, u will still end up in divorce nooni.. because the way i see u, u want a perfect financial life in marriage.. Pls just think about what u first.. Are u ready for your perfect life without him or imperfect life with him

Go with your feelings but use your head

Quit , Quit Quit .....
1. You guys are not on the same page and I swear even if you marry this guy today tomorrow you both will end up divorced. You can never curtail an ocean in side a well. You are Like an ocean, you want to keep moving

2. Love is not enough : why do you think most couples end up in divorce today? do you think they don't love each other ? ask the man do you live her? he would say yes and ask the woman same thing she will say yes but at the end the marriage is still in choas, that is because marriage his more than I love you

3. The guy is perfect but not perfect for you. compatibility matters a lot when it comes to marriage . You guys are just opposite


4./Lastly try this game with him. tell him to write down things he wants in a woman and also write down what you too also wants in a man. Check the list and c if they correspond then come back and make your decision

5. Bae , you are not nagging oo dnt let all this agbero without dreams tell you otherwise. you just want the best for ur self and your man. the moment I saw where he refused a federal govt job , I knew u will end up in tears if u follow love

@Op I want you to know that most great women in Nigeria today don't have great husband's in terms of equal potentials, all you need is a man willing to support your dreams because the wonderful husband that you wish for may as well not want you to outshine him. If this bf of yours appreciates and loves you then that's all you need, he will certainly learn from you later. That he is the man doesn't mean he has to know more than u do and if u love him then take the lead and let him follow.

I see you as a narcissist and a materialist.
You just trying to impose your thoughts and belief on an innocent man. Nah ur type dey always try to lord over the husband when you're finally married.. I pity the man wey go marry you.
If he's not OK by ur standard, find another person biko.. Sister eagle

Tripitaka:
"I told him to"
"I want him to"
"I warned him not to"
"I advised him to"
"He wouldn't listen to me" and all the other stuffs.

It appears to me that you are foisting your opinion, choices and wishes on your partner. You want him to live his life your way, pursue his dreams following your chart and run his race with you as guide. Perhaps you want to be the Kapellmeister while you lead the orchestra that is his life.

If he were to follow your advise and it backfires or doesnt yield the expected fruit, who would take responsibility? There is something some of us do not acknowledge which is that not everyone wants to be wealthy, some people just want to be successful at what they do, some people just want to lead a simple and fulfilled life.

I also find your intentions questionable. Do you have all those "nice thoughts" for him because you love and wish him well, or because you want him wealthy enough to marry you next year and give you "the life"? Its a shame that you say you're not proud of someone ou claim to love and painting him as some loser.

There comes a time in the life of a man when he wants to do things his own way, steer his own ship, make his own mistakes and celebrate his own little victories.

I would have asked you to talk to him, but I believe you guys have talked about this over and over. So, the choice is yours to walk or stay

God bless you brother...this is very insightful and it's the plain truth,no other comments beats this aswear

Acmepreneur:
I'm a witch? Lol
Money is very important to me and to everyone. My siblings and I suffered due to poverty and we shouldn't be where we are today if not for poverty. My siblings won lots of things at junior level that was snatched away from us at our very own eyes. I don't want that for my children, I pray they are intelligent though

You’ve tried for him dear.

Most men will need a friend or partner that will be giving them a push in one way or another

And for those that are telling you to go do it yourself; pls just know it that some men can’t take ordinary advice since it’s coming from a woman.


Take it you’ve played your part and leave him. But always check up on him.


Don’t lose that spirit and insight.

Always remember this

“Sometimes we give hope to people while we have non for ourselves”

Acmepreneur:
Humans are only attracted to material things. Only few percentage are different.
I see why people like me, its because of my looks and achievement or my intelligence, I hate that so much. I have noticed that severally, for instance,there was a time I told someone my mum was in the US, and he saw me, I was not looking good, with a very bad cloths, looking lean etc at the bank. I went to do my post graduate test at university of Ilorin, I took just one cloth, so that day, I lost my ATM, I quickly ran to the bank looking like a tattered person sha. (I'm bad at dressing, I don't care at all how I look)
So I met this person at the Bank, and stupid me, I greeted him with smile and everything, after sometimes, I noticed he stopped chatting with me, then later said I'm a lier, I told him my mum was in US, bla bla bla. Which means hes a friend and trying to be nice because he thought my mother was in US,and that day he felt disappointed.
I also have a friend that was extremely close because my mum was in the US, and after NYSC, she distanced herself.
These are people that I told them because I was explaining something else, not because I wanted to tell them my mum was in the US. It was my NYSC year my mum travelled there and it made me to suffer well well. So maybe sometimes, I can just say mistakenly that my mum called now that shes just getting to Texas and continue the discussion, I never knew they stored that part where I said my mum was in Texas.

Then another thing is that whenever I dress well, people in banks etc, would start asking me stupid questions if I were a senators child etc and start giving me special treatment.
I have also had people walk up to me because they think I'm from a rich family.
There's this friend of mine always asking when I'm leaving the country, the guy is rich and extremely intelligent, hes a doc. Hes always trying to push himself on me because he thinks I'm from a well to do family.
Sometimes, where they sell food, they would give me more than I bought, treat me with smile etc.
When I have discussion with people, they get so hooked, liked me and force friendship. These are people I would love to be friends with, but because material things is their attraction is a turn off for me.
Even one of my professors while I was doing Masters became close to me when he heard that I was the best student of my set during undergraduate, he started calling me in his office and became more friendly.

But when I'm not looking good, not speaking in public, I often get the worse treatment on Earth. But once I start talking intelligently, you will see them flocking around me.

even my parents, when I dress well and look good, I notice the difference in the way they treat me.Or If I have just won an award or bring my result home. And my boyfriend too, he will start loving me more when I look my best and sometimes when I'm over stressed, and fat, I notice the difference.

People will always be people, and I'm a realist,

You're just like me but when i notice this.
I distancing myself from materialistic people.
I Don't do owó epò and atẹnu

.

funmisticqueen2:
Aunty, yoy see the handwriting on the wall, BREAKUP, DUST YOUR SANDALS AND RUN!!

People like your boyfriend are why i bash men on nairaland, so that they don't end up like him.


Your boyfriend will only drag you down with him into mediocrity, he will most likely want to use pregnancy to trap you.

Meet someone who is going in tye same direction as you are, who can match you in terms of ambition.


Would like to hear his own side of the story too though.

leech mentality...why not encourage the lady to go make money instead of complaining of her bf money.
she is insecure.....dat why I hate nairaland ladies....bunch of jobless leech.

imagine her analysis her bf take home.....what is she bringing to the table financially

she should run and find another guy she can leech on...... rather than getting her lazy ass to work.


ladies that are millionaires with there sweat have two head.

Acmepreneur:
Exactly my point

pls encourage him to take that lecturer job.since its a federal job he will be well paid and he can save a lot of money from the salary.a colleague of mine is right now in czech republic doing his phd and he was able to save from his salary to do the trip and this is a man married with a wife and two kids.ur guy is not married now and neither does he has a kid so now is the time for him to actualise his dream.

Godoverevery:
leech mentality...why not encourage the lady to go make money instead of complaining of her bf money.
she is insecure.....dat why I hate nairaland ladies....bunch of jobless leech.

imagine her analysis her bf take home.....what is she bringing to the table financially

she should run and find another guy she can leech on...... rather than getting her lazy ass to work.


ladies that are millionaires with there sweat have two head.

she has a genuine interest of her guy at heart thats why she's nagging him to do something positive with his life.i like ladies like this who nag for their men to buckle up.not those yeye ones dat nag for u to give them money to do hair or money to buy new set of clothes.this one obviously loves her guy.the guy should buckle up abeg.

lefulefu:
she has a genuine interest of her guy at heart thats why she's nagging him to do something positive with his life.i like ladies like this who nag for their men to buckle up.not those yeye ones dat nag for u to give them money to do hair or money to buy new set of clothes.this one obviously loves her guy.the guy should buckle up abeg.

Her nagging is fruitless if she isn't working herself.....it makes no sense if she can also contribute financially.

is she doing master's herself
is she running any side business herself

let her lead by example....it no crime

You may be a narcissist, just saying. I know you mean well but you can hardly control an adult. You either gently nudge them in your direction and watch if they'll follow. If they don't then you have to either accept them the way they are or leave.
You are actually treating the man like a baby. From what you have written, you probably do so in a condescending and derogatory manner.
Some people are laid back and not cut out for greatness. They want a simple and average life. Some are laid back but have a grand plan to success.
The point is that you have to stop pushing. You either accept your man the way he is or find a new man.

Acmepreneur:
Women like me are many, just try not to pick girls that fix nails or like wigs and big hair. Fall for a simple girl

Are you one?

Godoverevery:
Her nagging is fruitless if she isn't working herself.....it makes no sense if she can also contribute financially.

is she doing master's herself
is she running any side business herself

let her lead by example....it no crime

Lol, I finished my masters 1year, 8months ago at age 22.
I have many skills that I have a business plan on. Currently, I'm planning to launch my business very soon but I have no money to do that. I'm planning my travelling to Canada, I'm applying for scholarships because I made a an excellent grade in both Msc & Bsc and was the best student in my class in both. I can start a business with my little skills, but that would be too low of me since I have siblings who are on my neck for me to travel out to Canada, just that the process is too slow. My life plan is set, which means once God answer my prayers, I would rise in a very high speed. I want to marry him before travelling so I would just process his own easily

Acmepreneur:
Women like me are many, just try not to pick girls that fix nails or like wigs and big hair. Fall for a simple girl

What do you do yourself? Don't tell me I'm still a student. If you have made it in ur own little way it will motivate him to join you. You can show him the way. Not dreaming and pushing another man to actualize it and here telling me you are encouraging him.

Acmepreneur:
Lol, I finished my masters 1year, 8months ago at age 23.
I have many skills that I have a business plan on. Currently, I'm planning to launch my business very soon but I have no money to do that. I'm planning my travelling to Canada, I'm applying for scholarships because I made a an excellent grade in both Msc & Bsc and was the best student in my class in both. I can start a business with my little skills, but that would be too low of me since I have siblings who are on my neck for me to travel out to Canada, just that the process is too slow. My life plan is set, which means once God answer my prayers, I would rise in a very high speed. I want to marry him before travelling so I would just process his own easily

so u graduated at 20 and u are from a poor background......nice one.

I smell lies

Acmepreneur:
Lol, I finished my masters 1year, 8months ago at age 23.
I have many skills that I have a business plan on. Currently, I'm planning to launch my business very soon but I have no money to do that. I'm planning my travelling to Canada, I'm applying for scholarships because I made a an excellent grade in both Msc & Bsc and was the best student in my class in both. I can start a business with my little skills, but that would be too low of me since I have siblings who are on my neck for me to travel out to Canada, just that the process is too slow. My life plan is set, which means once God answer my prayers, I would rise in a very high speed. I want to marry him before travelling so I would just process his own easily

With everything listed here,he will not be motivated to. You are still at a low financial level maybe lower than himself and pushing him to do the same masters that is yet to benefit you.

Have you asked him what he wants for himself and how to actualize it.

Let him go for a professional skill and save money from there to start a bizness.

Stop nagging the young man or forcefully trying to fit him into your dreams.

Acmepreneur:
Humans are only attracted to material things. Only few percentage are different.
I see why people like me, its because of my looks and achievement or my intelligence, I hate that so much. I have noticed that severally, for instance,there was a time I told someone my mum was in the US, and he saw me, I was not looking good, with a very bad cloths, looking lean etc at the bank. I went to do my post graduate test at university of Ilorin, I took just one cloth, so that day, I lost my ATM, I quickly ran to the bank looking like a tattered person sha. (I'm bad at dressing, I don't care at all how I look)
So I met this person at the Bank, and stupid me, I greeted him with smile and everything, after sometimes, I noticed he stopped chatting with me, then later said I'm a lier, I told him my mum was in US, bla bla bla. Which means hes a friend and trying to be nice because he thought my mother was in US,and that day he felt disappointed.
I also have a friend that was extremely close because my mum was in the US, and after NYSC, she distanced herself.
These are people that I told them because I was explaining something else, not because I wanted to tell them my mum was in the US. It was my NYSC year my mum travelled there and it made me to suffer well well. So maybe sometimes, I can just say mistakenly that my mum called now that shes just getting to Texas and continue the discussion, I never knew they stored that part where I said my mum was in Texas.

Then another thing is that whenever I dress well, people in banks etc, would start asking me stupid questions if I were a senators child etc and start giving me special treatment.
I have also had people walk up to me because they think I'm from a rich family.
There's this friend of mine always asking when I'm leaving the country, the guy is rich and extremely intelligent, hes a doc. Hes always trying to push himself on me because he thinks I'm from a well to do family.
Sometimes, where they sell food, they would give me more than I bought, treat me with smile etc.
When I have discussion with people, they get so hooked, liked me and force friendship. These are people I would love to be friends with, but because material things is their attraction is a turn off for me.
Even one of my professors while I was doing Masters became close to me when he heard that I was the best student of my set during undergraduate, he started calling me in his office and became more friendly.

But when I'm not looking good, not speaking in public, I often get the worse treatment on Earth. But once I start talking intelligently, you will see them flocking around me.

even my parents, when I dress well and look good, I notice the difference in the way they treat me.Or If I have just won an award or bring my result home. And my boyfriend too, he will start loving me more when I look my best and sometimes when I'm over stressed, and fat, I notice the difference.

People will always be people, and I'm a realist,

You say you are about starting a PhD? To be honest, I can deduce from your writing you ain't too bright, no offence meant. What school did you get your postgrad from?

Again, I can deduce from your writing that you have lost your marbles a bit. You suffer from delusions of grandeur and have narcissistic tendencies. This is the psychologist in me talking.

lefulefu:
is that one life? yes he can be a lecturer and while at it he can be able to safe a chunk of money from the salary and plan for his further studies overseas.that shows a man that is focused.

One of those killing our Education System. What if he knows he can't teach? How can someone who worked for yrs and rose to become a Manger be called lazy?Do you know how these small companies suffer ppl? Cmon

If she is dissatisfied take a walk. Not every rshp leads to marriage

Godoverevery:
so u graduated at 20 and u are from a poor background......nice one.

I smell lies

I graduated at 19 and not 20.

op, all the dreams and aspirations you want your boyfriend to follow, have you been able to achieve all these goals? If no, then go and sit down and stop being too needy. stop putting pressure on your bf and stop sounding as if you are better off than him. if you are better than him, why are you still with him?I'm sorry to say that you are selfish and self centered. you want things to be your own ways but you don't want him to live his life. your bf is even cool with you and you are taking his simplicity for granted. also, you are this kind of woman that will never be satisfy. you will always like to compare. Go and sit down and stop disturbing us with your delusional goals that hasn't taken you anywhere .

internationalman:
Keep asking unrealistic question, we all know you can't leave him and your guy knows this fact..


Start acting like you are already seeing someone else and watch him turn around for good.. It works all the time.

Nothing hurts a niggar more than the thought of his bae shacking up to another guy...

That is for small minded guys who are not ready to accept that whoring is a nature of women.

Your bf is trying his best so you guys can date.

If you and I, we won't last a week

Gaggi:
You say you are about starting a PhD? To be honest, I can deduce from your writing you ain't too bright, no offence meant. What school did you get your postgrad from?

Again, I can deduce from your writing that you have lost your marbles a bit. You suffer from delusions of grandeur and have narcissistic tendencies. This is the psychologist in me talking.

Lol @ I'm not bright, maybe you are right though
But just know I've always been the best in my classes, the best and youngest. I've won lot's of awards as well.

Acmepreneur:
I'm proud of him, I just want him to be respected. Money and position is respect. I'm a realist, people are not angels, thats what they respect.
I don't visit his parent because I was no where, now I can because I'm better.
Since I discovered how humans are physical, I don't trust anyone with some things again. I live with people physically, if I'm your friend, I know that being nice to you and making you a parasite is the only thing that can sustain the friendship and thus, I keep it like that.
If I want to visit people, I look my best because people are attracted to beauty and money.
I'm going to visit lecturers, I buy gift, thats because that is what would make them think you are a responsible person.
Myself for instance, don't care about materials or physical, I'm a very deep person, that really put me in a mess, and since I got that logic, I'm physical with people.
Coming to your inlaw house with no money, no matter how Godly they are, they will fill somehow. I can't type again, I hope you understand sha

actually you are a narcissist. I don't mean this as an insult. Do a little research on the Greek mythology of narcissus and you will see your exact image