bukatyne:


The question is same as:

Why do married women endure cheating husbands?

My take:

An average Nigerian woman (I like to use Nigeria as my reference ) does not see cheating and domestic abuse as 'bad' or 'intolerable.' Oh yes they will rant about it, say they can't take it, organize NGOs for it etc yet look at their choices:

It is the same way an average guy would say he can't marry a broke girl or an artificial one or a non-virgin till you see their choices. These things are not 'intolerable or so bad' to them.

Or how we complain our leaders are bad and vote same people year in, year out.

If you want to know what a society doesn't tolerate, check the vices you can't find or are very hidden e.g. homosexuality is a vice not tolerated in our society or 'publicly proclaiming you don't believe in a god/supreme being.'

As a result, homosexuals would do everything to deflect from themselves. You would just hear rumours of an exclusive club or members; you can't bet anything worthy you know anyone except you are a member yourself.

I know only one atheist in real life. Just one and he still tells me 'my daughter, God bless you.'

The vices you see exhibited in plain sight, forget it.

GOFRONT:
Some women be Enduring their marriage instead of Enjoying their marriage......

This is what you get when you marry a man that is ready instead of marrying a man that truely love you.......

Well, It's a Mans world.

Exc2000:


when they lack skills to give them income they remain there.... this is currently happening to my ex, in her mind she must marry early, and since I wasn't ready she moved on to a guy who had more money, sells car and was a yahoo big boy.. just 5years in and she chats me up daily complaining of one thing or the other, he cheats, he is diabolic, smokes sk, drinks, beats her.. but spends on her non stop, at this point even if she tries to leave her family , church , pastor and financial her position wouldn't let her, at 30 she has BP problem but still slays hot hot

.

A305:
Nope, I write erotica. I put porn into words.

srclark:
most women are the cause of all this domestic violence,you see them looking for early marriage instead of acquiring a skill or developing themselves ,they just want to depend totally on the man .Love is not enough to make a marriage work .No matter how well to do your husband is try to have a job or business ,endeavor to also bring something to the table at the end of the month.My own two cents

bukatyne:


Thank God Dyt is alive so we can assume you didn't laugh with others while frowning at him

Did you ever dig to find out what made him so possessive and insanely jealous?

The answers could have lain in his childhood.

Exc2000:


atleast be able to earn what can feed you, cloth you and provide one room self contain for you... funny thing is abusive men are generous, and they spend the money on them in a way that they are dependent... they never invest for them, they barely buy them luxury to make them addicted to flashy lifestyle they cant afford

Kaien:
I don't see how my old moniker is of concern to you, just post your opinion and leave.

Kaien:
Even if she does anything, is beating her and in front of her kids the right thing to do ?

bukatyne:


You are missing

Btw, I love the songs you dropped, mind dropping some more

abbey621:


Then such a woman has only herself to blame! We need to remove this mentality from our 9ja women that marrying a man means marrying a provider. Most women have no financial plan, no get out of jail card, nothing, it's either marriage works or they die there....SHAME!

Kaien:
This my next door neighbor, her husband is always beating her even in front of their kids. It has become a norm for her to receive beating two to three times weekly, he beats her and sometimes locks her outside with her two kids.

Most of the beating always happens when she asks him money for food, this her husband is rich always driving around with small girls in his car. When I ask her to leave, she would say no that she doesn't want her marriage to break up. I wonder what she is protecting. The type of abuses I am seeing, domestic violence is a norm, cheating is a norm.

Nigeria marriages are scary.
I am moving to a new apartment, just if my neighbor's husband ends up killing her, I don't want to be interrogated for murder.

perdollar:
and words put u into porn. lobatan erotica

cooltola:


no be so bro, sometimes it could be the man is a drunkard who spend his money on booze and other women. the woman may be the one who is the breadwinner in some cases. Some women will endure such marriage until the man dies or they finally snap

A305:
if you truly get a penny for every meaningful thought you conceive then I guess you need to pay back a penny for this remark of yours because it makes no sense.

BadBradley:
all these kind people when nairaland dey produce dey tire me.

Dyt:


Animal

ibkayee:
Lots of different reasons, here are some common ones

- Guilted/shamed into doing suffer head under the guise of tradition, religion etc
- Conflicting emotions (e.g. stockholm syndrome) etc
- Financial dependency on their husbands/financial insecurity
- Threatened by their partner
- Would rather tolerate someone familiar/a toxic environment than start afresh, especially in a marriage obsessed society and a justice system that has a history of failing them

Lsofdk:



Btw, I love the songs you dropped, mind dropping some more

doitforyou:

The bolded is very common but people rarely talk about it. The most dangerous time for an abused victim is when they leave. When the abuser knows he’s about to lose control, the violence escalates.

Sometimes it’s the threat to take the children away from her if she leaves.

Victims should also not be dismissed as being weak, poor, stupid or suffering from low self-esteem. The abuser doesn’t start out as being abusive, abuse is a process, he love bombs, isolates and primes his victim for the eventual abuse.

Kaien, abuse victims don’t leave until when they’re ready to, it takes time to undo all the emotional and psychological damage, the only thing you can do is let her know you will be there for her when she’s ready. If/when you move, you can leave your number with her, letting her know she will have support when she’s ready.

bukatyne:




Tomorrow

Goldie16:
Because, many of them are broke. WOMEN HUSTLE!!!

MMotimo:


Looking good, I saw what you did a few pages back You dodged "the garbage truck."

Dyt
I salute your courage. That emotional /mental strength to leave is in short supply for women all over the world, rich or poor, who are victims of abuse

MMotimo:



Dyt
I salute your courage. That emotional /mental strength to leave is in short supply for women all over the world, rich or poor, who are victims of abuse

bukatyne:


The question is same as:

Why do married women endure cheating husbands?

My take:

An average Nigerian woman (I like to use Nigeria as my reference ) does not see cheating and domestic abuse as 'bad' or 'intolerable.' Oh yes they will rant about it, say they can't take it, organize NGOs for it etc yet look at their choices:

It is the same way an average guy would say he can't marry a broke girl or an artificial one or a non-virgin till you see their choices. These things are not 'intolerable or so bad' to them.

Or how we complain our leaders are bad and vote same people year in, year out.

If you want to know what a society doesn't tolerate, check the vices you can't find or are very hidden e.g. homosexuality is a vice not tolerated in our society or 'publicly proclaiming you don't believe in a god/supreme being.'

As a result, homosexuals would do everything to deflect from themselves. You would just hear rumours of an exclusive club or members; you can't bet anything worthy you know anyone except you are a member yourself.

I know only one atheist in real life. Just one and he still tells me 'my daughter, God bless you.'

The vices you see exhibited in plain sight, forget it.