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Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad - Family (8) - Nairaland

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My Wife's Ex-Boyfriend Is About To Ruin My Marriage / My Parents Are Using Their Lives To Ruin My Future!!! / My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by bezimo(m): 6:45am On May 22, 2020
EVILFOREST:

He really messed up.
How could he have brought in such a Lady..?

The MOMENT a lady starts showing such TRAITS in NIGERIA, Please and Please keep her in Nigeria...
Even if The Roman Catholic POPE tells you how transformed your partner is, please keep her there
Don't ever BRING such a WOMAN into the UNITED STATES.
People keep saying this.
They are not FOOLS.
The disgrace we get from them on daily basis is becoming unbecoming....
KEEP them in AFRICA and send cash across to them.
If they want to Phuck in Africa, let them Phuck there.
The MOMENT a Jezebel escapes into the United States you are Finished...

Hope some men get this..
Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Godson201333(m): 9:22am On May 22, 2020
LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.



So sorry for your ordeal in the hand of your wife bro. Similar stories all over about abroad people bringing their spouse from Nigeria. Just a very sad situation.
Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Mcslize: 10:47am On May 22, 2020
Spanishmilf:
They are both illegal, they can't travel back to Nigeria. If they do bye bye to Nigeria.
They are on visit visa not immigrants visa.

How can illegal person go back to Nigeria to bring the full family abroad? Say what you know.

11 Likes

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Mcslize: 10:53am On May 22, 2020
flyingdutchman:

Oga, SOME women, not all. I've been living overseas with my wife for a very long time now, I no get wahala. We are even more in love. When I was sick, na she dey work dey feed family and kids. Tenkiu.

You are lucky. We all pray to have good wives some days. This is a serious issue that requires God intervention. Getting that cool wife who is not there to destroy you is not a day job.

How did you meet your wife? Did you ask God for a good wife when you were looking for a partner or you simply met your wife by luck?

1 Like

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Spanishmilf(m): 10:56am On May 22, 2020
Mcslize:


How can illegal person go back to Nigeria to bring the full family abroad? Say what you know.
asper visit visa no dey. Think twice

1 Like

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Mcslize: 11:27am On May 22, 2020
Shinny1:


I understand everything you said but if you really want peace to reign in your home ask her for forgiveness...even for the things you don't know you did..most ladies are like that
Then make her understand that you most things available are yet to be paid for and that if you mistakenly are sent back to Nigeria that she with the children will suffer cos they have not mastered how things work over there...
Most importantly is prayer never relent in praying for your family and everything

Madam stop this advice. Ask who for forgiveness? Somebody he brought from Nigeria and still harbouring malice that he will beg for forgiveness? Will that stop her from actualizing her evil plan on the man?

Let's view things from a reality point of angle before dishing out selfish advice to someone who is at the losing end.

You are a woman that's why you are advicing the man to beg the troublesome wife for forgiveness. If she is a good wife she wouldn't have been harbouring grudges of what transpired between them in Nigeria just in a bid to pay the innocent man back.

It is only a devil incarnate type of woman will use her own hands to destroy a man who solely brought her abroad for a better life. That woman is not a wise woman. She reasons with her emotions without seeing the reality side of things.

Begging her will not prevent her from her misbehaviors rather it will worsen things. All what the man needs to do is send her back to Nigeria before it is too late.

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Mcslize: 11:52am On May 22, 2020
LinLinGentle:
Divorce has been filed. I got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

Congratulation! One thing people don't know is that no one can change anyone if the person solely refused to change. She is not a wise woman. Permit me to use that expression. How can a woman who have already had children with a man not even have the thought of working things out with her man for the sake of the children rather her thought is to destroy the man? She believes she won't be affected.

Please, don't make the mistake of not extending that restrain. Talk to your lawyer and put an indefinitely restrain on her so she can't have access to you.

She is simply a typical foolish woman. No woman with sense will work against the father of her own children. She needs to be sent back to Nigeria if it is possible so she can go marry another man she will destroy.

17 Likes

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Mcslize: 12:02pm On May 22, 2020
Spanishmilf:
asper visit visa no dey. Think twice

In your first post, you claimed the Op is illegal. Now I am asking you how an illegal person can escape to Nigeria to get his family to join him abroad? How will that possibly happen?

You supposed know that an illegal immigrant can't do a professional work abroad, no employee will even grant you an interview let alone employ you. But the op is a professional. That supposed make you know that he is legal even without stating it categorically.

11 Likes

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by flyingdutchman(m): 12:32pm On May 22, 2020
Mcslize:


You are lucky. We all pray to have good wives some days. This is a serious issue that requires God intervention. Getting that cool wife who is not there to destroy you is not a day job.

How did you meet your wife? Did you ask God for a good wife when you were looking for a partner or you simply met your wife by luck?
Thanks.
Met my lady when I was extremely lonely and sad. Heard a sermon in church that said if I wanted a good wife, I should start becoming a good man. So, tried to make my ways right with God. And asked him for a friend and a wife.

Met her, she was not perfect. I helped build her up emotionally, psychologically- thought I was, didnt realized she was building me up in the process! We have been open with eachother ever since and fight our battles together with God in control.

11 Likes

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Mcslize: 5:33pm On May 22, 2020
flyingdutchman:

Thanks.
Met my lady when I was extremely lonely and sad. Heard a sermon in church that said if I wanted a good wife, I should start becoming a good man. So, tried to make my ways right with God. And asked him for a friend and a wife.

Met her, she was not perfect. I helped build her up emotionally, psychologically- thought I was, didnt realized she was building me up in the process! We have been open with eachother ever since and fight our battles together with God in control.

That's great. You are quite lucky. All we see these days are tyrants parading themselves as wives while still commiting adultery behind their men. Women no longer see adultery as anything these days. They can even chatting immorally online with naughty guys all with the excuse that they are looking for fun. A married woman looking for fun aside her husband. You can imagine that.

Whoever is lucky to have a well mannered, discipline and a caring wife like yours should treat her right.

6 Likes

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by flyingdutchman(m): 6:08pm On May 22, 2020
You are too kind! Thanks.
Mcslize:


That's great. You are quite lucky. All we see these days are tyrants parading themselves as wives while still commiting adultery behind their men. Women no longer see adultery as anything these days. They can even chatting immorally online with naughty guys all with the excuse that they are looking for fun. A married woman looking for fun aside her husband. You can imagine that.

Whoever is lucky to have a well mannered, discipline and a caring wife like yours should treat her right.
Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Luckymama: 6:34pm On May 22, 2020
LinLinGentle:
In your opinion, it takes only one person's actions and inactions to sustain a marriage undecided

All marriages have a rocky start. There will definitely be issues and personality clashes. But when a man exercises self control and displays real leadership in the home, he earns the deep respect of his wife. A woman who deeply respects her husband is fiercely loyal.

But instead of earning respect, you men strut around demanding respect and doing things to your wife that you would never accept in a million years.

You know yourself that if she had dared to lift her hand against you in Nigeria, you would have panel beated her sotay her mother will not recognize her.

I am in no way justifying your wife’s actions, but they sound like the actions of a very bitter woman. All I am saying is something must have caused that bitterness. I don’t think any sane woman gets married in order to destroy a man’s life. Something(s) happen to make women become vindictive.

1 Like

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Luckymama: 6:47pm On May 22, 2020
flyingdutchman:



Met her, she was not perfect. I helped build her up emotionally, psychologically- thought I was, didnt realized she was building me up in the process! We have been open with eachother ever since and fight our battles together with God in control.

God bless you real good sir. Your kind of man is rare. At Oga OP with the Jezebel wife. Check yourself by yourself. Can you honestly say you treated your wife like this gentleman?

Instead of exercising genuine headship and leadership in the home by [/b] building your wife up emotionally and psychologically [b] you were busy doing gragra.

Thank God you have gotten rid of this Jezebel wife you have. When you marry the perfect abroad angel, please continue doing gragra with her Nigerian style. You will always get the result of what you sow.
Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by myles16(m): 8:45pm On May 22, 2020
Luckymama:


God bless you real good sir. Your kind of man is rare. At Oga OP with the Jezebel wife. Check yourself by yourself. Can you honestly say you treated your wife like this gentleman?

Instead of exercising genuine headship and leadership in the home by [/b] building your wife up emotionally and psychologically [b] you were busy doing gragra.

Thank God you have gotten rid of this Jezebel wife you have. When you marry the perfect abroad angel, please continue doing gragra with her Nigerian style. You will always get the result of what you sow.




You're just going left and right, stay one place let us know which one you're doing, he already told you he didn't maltreat her, cause you can't do something doesn't mean another can't.... you've not seen pure evil women abi, did Adam do any bad thing to Eve before she went and collect the forbidden fruit from Satan?

15 Likes

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Nobody: 11:09pm On May 22, 2020
Hquote author=Mcslize post=89830869]

Madam stop this advice. Ask who for forgiveness? Somebody he brought from Nigeria and still harbouring malice that he will beg for forgiveness? Will that stop her from actualizing her evil plan on the man?

Let's view things from a reality point of angle before dishing out selfish advice to someone who is at the losing end.

You are a woman that's why you are advicing the man to beg the troublesome wife for forgiveness. If she is a good wife she wouldn't have been harbouring grudges of what transpired between them in Nigeria just in a bid to pay the innocent man back.

It is only a devil incarnate type of woman will use her own hands to destroy a man who solely brought her abroad for a better life. That woman is not a wise woman. She reasons with her emotions without seeing the reality side of things.

Begging her will not prevent her from her misbehaviors rather it will worsen things. All what the man needs to do is send her back to Nigeria before it is too late.[/quote]
He can't send her back to Nigeria unless in a coffin. She has the stay too whether the marriage packs up or not.

1 Like

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by flyingdutchman(m): 3:08am On May 23, 2020
To be honest, we don't really know what transpired but, from what the OP said, it is clear his wife has every intentionto sabotage him because she is aware that the western world favours women (in divorce and separation). Let's pray things work out for him.
Luckymama:


God bless you real good sir. Your kind of man is rare. At Oga OP with the Jezebel wife. Check yourself by yourself. Can you honestly say you treated your wife like this gentleman?

Instead of exercising genuine headship and leadership in the home by [/b] building your wife up emotionally and psychologically [b] you were busy doing gragra.

Thank God you have gotten rid of this Jezebel wife you have. When you marry the perfect abroad angel, please continue doing gragra with her Nigerian style. You will always get the result of what you sow.
Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Nobody: 3:23am On May 23, 2020
Luckymama:


All marriages have a rocky start. There will definitely be issues and personality clashes. But when a man exercises self control and displays real leadership in the home, he earns the deep respect of his wife. A woman who deeply respects her husband is fiercely loyal.

But instead of earning respect, you men strut around demanding respect and doing things to your wife that you would never accept in a million years.

You know yourself that if she had dared to lift her hand against you in Nigeria, you would have panel beated her sotay her mother will not recognize her.

I am in no way justifying your wife’s actions, but they sound like the actions of a very bitter woman. All I am saying is something must have caused that bitterness. I don’t think any sane woman gets married in order to destroy a man’s life. Something(s) happen to make women become vindictive.
Again, in your opinion, you observed my marriage from the comfort of your keyboard and saw that I did not demonstrate self control and leadership. You are also quite sure that women never have bad attitude and whatever wrong they do could only be caused by men. Its always men, isn't it? Anyways your opinion is yours alone and only reflects your values.

32 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by EDGEof2MORO: 7:06am On May 23, 2020
LinLinGentle:
Divorce has been filed. I got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

Lol, abroad has truly humbled this young man grin so your wife slapped you and go report am grin grin grin grin

If I were you, I would find a way to have her deported back to Nigeria!

If deportation is not possible, make it impossible for her to have a fulfilling career for the rest of her days in the country.

1 Like

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Luckymama: 10:52am On May 23, 2020
myles16:





You're just going left and right, stay one place let us know which one you're doing, he already told you he didn't maltreat her, cause you can't do something doesn't mean another can't.... you've not seen pure evil women abi, did Adam do any bad thing to Eve before she went and collect the forbidden fruit from Satan?

I am just quoting him. He said he was “doing gragra” in Nigeria. Wise people know that when listening to only one side of the story it’s likely to be half of the story.
Nobody here has heard his wife’s part of the story. I have asked repeatedly what he meant by “gragra” but nobody, not even him has explained it. Many women endure “gragra” because they have no choice. That does not mean they have no feelings or they’re happy with it.

Unfortunately his wife is the type that doesn’t forgive and has decided to repay him. It’s just too bad but it’s what it is. To all the men calling Nigerian women Jezebel and all what not, I repeat, when you marry the foreign “angels” just make sure you treat them exactly as you treat your Nigerian Jezebel. Then come to Nairaland and gist us your experience. grin grin
Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Luckymama: 10:58am On May 23, 2020
LinLinGentle:
Again, in your opinion, you observed my marriage from the comfort of your keyboard and saw that I did not demonstrate self control and leadership. You are also quite sure that women never have bad attitude and whatever wrong they do could only be caused by men. Its always men, isn't it? Anyways your opinion is yours alone and only reflects your values.

Na only you talk story. We have not heard your wife’s side. I did not judge you, I only asked you to check yourself by yourself. You and only you know the truth. If you know you could have done better then you take the learning point into your next relationship. Dasall
Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by myles16(m): 12:32pm On May 23, 2020
Luckymama:


I am just quoting him. He said he was “doing gragra” in Nigeria. Wise people know that when listening to only one side of the story it’s likely to be half of the story.
Nobody here has heard his wife’s part of the story. I have asked repeatedly what he meant by “gragra” but nobody, not even him has explained it. Many women endure “gragra” because they have no choice. That does not mean they have no feelings or they’re happy with it.

Unfortunately his wife is the type that doesn’t forgive and has decided to repay him. It’s just too bad but it’s what it is. To all the men calling Nigerian women Jezebel and all what not, I repeat, when you marry the foreign “angels” just make sure you treat them exactly as you treat your Nigerian Jezebel. Then come to Nairaland and gist us your experience. grin grin




your hubby will try o, cause it seems like you'll have trust issues, Baba has replied like 8 times telling you he didn't do her sh!t and he almost divorced her back in Nigeria, still you don't believe Ha!!

Woooo! Tiri gbosa for you

16 Likes

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Potch: 12:34pm On May 23, 2020
larryking540:


Nice one bro ,u did the needful ,that serves her right,,abeg don't forget to advise your other 9ja brothers trying to make such mistake of going to bring their woman to the state o,,,,u are not the first to make such a mistake and I pray u should be the last ,,,,,

I keep telling guys out 9ja don't ever make the mistake of bring your woman to Yankees,,,it's better you send her over for a visit, school way u want make she go ,make she go d school for 9ja ,make she day 9ja they look your business ...thank God for him fighting for you

We should be careful of gender profiling and hasty generalisation. Nothing gladdens a man's heart than waking up every morning with your wife and children beside you. How do we raise a good family when husband and wife live thousand miles apart?

Many women are good and bringing them abroad will not only strengthen their husbands financially but also contribute to raising wonderful families. We have seen cases where husband loses his job shortly his wife arrives, and the wife continues to shoulder the responsibilities until the man is back on his feet. It is just that these days, we marry for wrong reasons, and top on the list is physical appearance.

No marriage is perfect but when lives are at stake, it is better to go separate ways.

6 Likes

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Nobody: 12:34pm On May 23, 2020
Luckymama:


I am just quoting him. He said he was “doing gragra” in Nigeria. Wise people know that when listening to only one side of the story it’s likely to be half of the story.
Nobody here has heard his wife’s part of the story. I have asked repeatedly what he meant by “gragra” but nobody, not even him has explained it. Many women endure “gragra” because they have no choice. That does not mean they have no feelings or they’re happy with it.

Unfortunately his wife is the type that doesn’t forgive and has decided to repay him. It’s just too bad but it’s what it is. To all the men calling Nigerian women Jezebel and all what not, I repeat, when you marry the foreign “angels” just make sure you treat them exactly as you treat your Nigerian Jezebel. Then come to Nairaland and gist us your experience. grin grin
You're beginning to sound like a troll.

11 Likes

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Luckymama: 1:17pm On May 23, 2020
UKmigrant:
You're beginning to sound like a troll.

I only respond to those who quote me.
Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by oyewale0001(m): 2:01pm On May 23, 2020
It is well.
Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Conductor261: 2:02pm On May 23, 2020
LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.
Sell the house. Move to a smaller apartment. Sell the cars.
Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by OmoDavido(m): 2:03pm On May 23, 2020
And you say this one no be devil?!

You made a very big mistake by bringing such a woman abroad.

5 Likes

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by cpu2006(m): 2:03pm On May 23, 2020
This your story is plenty. I can read it but talk to your wife & find a common ground and settle all your miss understanding. Thank you
Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by rosy1992(f): 2:03pm On May 23, 2020
This is exactly what happens when you marry the wrong person.
Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by EDGEof2MORO: 2:04pm On May 23, 2020
Mcslize:


Congratulation! One thing people don't know is that no one can change anyone if the person solely refused to change. She is not a wise woman. Permit me to use that expression. How can a woman who have already had children with a man not even have the thought of working things out with her man for the sake of the children rather her thought is to destroy the man? She believes she won't be affected.

Please, don't make the mistake of not extending that restrain. Talk to your lawyer and put an indefinitely restrain on her so she can't have access to you.

She is simply a typical foolish woman. No woman with sense will work against the father of her own children. She needs to be sent back to Nigeria if it is possible so she can go marry another man she will destroy.

Lol. You're asking for permission to call a spade a spade? You've said it all. She is not a wise woman and is the typical foolish type that should be bundled back to Nigeria because all she's going to do there is to give our Nigerian sisters a bad name.

Mr. OP, please send her back to her village. The home training was not complete

8 Likes

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Homguy(m): 2:05pm On May 23, 2020
LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.
you need to make sure she loses all possible. If you listen or pity her crocodile tears she will strategize and get back at you for this.

1 Like

Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Nobody: 2:05pm On May 23, 2020
etrange:
Saying 'I am not a saint. I was hot tempered but I have changed' is you first trying to put yourself in a good light before the audience. You then went ahead to spend time describing your wife as complete devil. And then I wonder what the point of creating this thread is. You want us to help you call your wife names and encourage you to do the things you want to do anyway? You're the one telling the story; of course, she'll be the villain/protagonist in it.

Lol... I smell fake story biko. A man, even though a loggerheads with his wife, won't come online to write such a long epistle without any reminiscence of good old times. You can't tell me you married a witch from the onset.

Ok... you've gotten us to comment. Lol
1. You are not married
2. You have never lived with married couples
3. Learn to not comment on threads like this.

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