₦airaland Forum

Mindlog:
Newly registered username, another tale.

don't be foolish, if he was royalblak and pocohantas, you want them to broadcast their stories just like that without privacy

Hmm... We women are chickened brains at times. This is obviously bad advice from friends with this local mentality they have about womens right being protected abroad hence wanting to leverage on that to be acting unruly and disrespectfully to their husbands. Whatever happened to submmiting to our husbands as the Bible commands? Or even try to maintain our traditions and culture when we get to the white mans land.


You should have just tripped them back to Nigeria on one Summer or December period like that and leave her behind after the whole thing let her learn her lessons. Divorce is never an option and im not an advocate for divorce.


Anyways, glad you have everything under control now. You really meant well for her but her local mentality could not allow her enjoy all that.

Sankabson:
Reach out to her family member down here. They could be able to talk some senses into her.

Let her know as well, that whatsoever she's doing or up to. The future of her kids are at stake too.

But maybe your own GRA GRA too much for Naija too?! Cos for her to change in just few months... E get why!!

na the gra gra make her enter dating site? abegee

Don't even pray to be in those situations my brother. It can kill a man.
The law may seem to be balanced for both sides, but wisdom is key

liberalchick:
Nice of you to give an update.

This is for the Nigerian men that have deluded themselves with the lie “the law favor women”.

FYI for the bolded, the law as is doesn’t care about gender. You do the crime, you do the time.

perryy:
Useless family. They thought the law over there only protects women . Ensure you divorce her and have her sent back to her useless parents. If she ever loved u, she will never pay u back for your mistake let alone planning to send u to jail. Whole you were away, many men have bleeped her and she can never be faithful to u again . Will you now run or wait till u meet a man on top of her ? The choice is yours.

Op didn't fvck uncountable women while alone abroad??

When there are plenty of women here. I don’t understand why anyone would go back to Nigeria to bring a wife. Lesson learnt

This story get as he be oo, if you know you know

LinLinGentle:
You are right bro, I had plenty gra gra back in Naija and I think she has psychologically programmed herself before arrival to come take her pound of flesh here. There is complete breakdown of communication with her family as they are on her side, always encouraging her to call the police on me. All they say is ''No gree for am o, he think say na Naija he dey. Show am well well, you have rights there and the govt. would support you''

You or your wife must be an Igbo.

Sorry, that woman never loved you. She gat a coach, possibly one amongst her boy friends back in Nigeria or from a family member who is well knowlegable about your current base. The truth is that she has gotten what she wants, COMING TO ABROAD, and she is desperately executing her plans to divorce you and start live allover with another lover.
If my guess is wrong! Then I suspect she is hypnotized to come and destroy your future... Quickly bring her back to Nigeria to TP Joshua or Oyakilome for deliverance. If you can not, just diborxe her.

KristaPretty:
Ensure that she does not remain there when her visa expires. Since you do not have your pali yet according to you, I am guessing she did not come with an immigration visa.

Best thing to do is to allow her go back without staying there permanently, she will divorce and ruin your career. Tho you had your issues, since you have decided to make life better she should have been calm and forgiving.
Let her go back to Nigeria and do not make attempt to make her relocate permanently. Ensure you send money for them when they are back to Nigeria and visit too.
I had a neighbour whose career ended up being ruined by his wife this exact way, he ended up coming back and sells hand bags at a popular bustop. Too bad.

really ?

[s]

etrange:
Lol... you are but but you seem sad.

_{You'll achieve your dreams before the end of this year regardless of how impossible it might seem. You'll no longer think that living in Canada is such a big deal that people would have to lie about it. This is my prayers for you.}

[/s] NONSENSE.

LinLinGentle:
You are right bro, I had plenty gra gra back in Naija and I think she has psychologically programmed herself before arrival to come take her pound of flesh here. There is complete breakdown of communication with her family as they are on her side, always encouraging her to call the police on me. All they say is ''No gree for am o, he think say na Naija he dey. Show am well well, you have rights there and the govt. would support you''

It’s better you divorce her and send her back dan to loose everything. Some women are devilish. Dou we stil have some good women regardless. God will see you through on dis

Luckymama:
I am just quoting him. He said he was “doing gragra” in Nigeria. Wise people know that when listening to only one side of the story it’s likely to be half of the story.
Nobody here has heard his wife’s part of the story. I have asked repeatedly what he meant by “gragra” but nobody, not even him has explained it. Many women endure “gragra” because they have no choice. That does not mean they have no feelings or they’re happy with it.

Unfortunately his wife is the type that doesn’t forgive and has decided to repay him. It’s just too bad but it’s what it is. To all the men calling Nigerian women Jezebel and all what not, I repeat, when you marry the foreign “angels” just make sure you treat them exactly as you treat your Nigerian Jezebel. Then come to Nairaland and gist us your experience.

There's no story to be heard gragra most times is the typical 9ja stuff, don't wear revealing clothes, come back home a certain time, cook and so on, typical duties of a wife, it's all too familiar. But what this man is talking about are: sex chats, shouting, threatening to end career, calling the cops. There's just no justification, this is not a matter that can be settled, I have seen it gone three ways. Man either ends up in jail after homicide or we have a case of homicide and suicide or they divorce amicably and man ends up paying child and spousal support for years.

humilitypays:
on threads like this, I hate to read comments from female monikers sounding like good or different women showing fake pity for men, you all are the same once you cross over, so don't even pity the op, continue to be who you and your sisters are - wicked! Don't you dare pretend to be a good or different Nigerian lady online, stay to your color

Hehehe! See me see wahala. What gives you the fecking authority to tell me how to react? You are so full of yourself. It's your type they called devil. You will just be roaming to and fro looking for trouble.

She probably found something on him when she got their that's it included in the storyline.

pokipoki:
Dude, I had similar problem in 2017. The marriage was becoming hellish. Luckily for me, the first day I started working abroad, I made it a compulsory to save money no matter what. When I got tired of the drama, I relocated back to Nigeria . My plan is to finalize the divorce and arrange my way back.
Bottom line - There are always alternatives. Dont be stuck in an unhappy life. Life is short!!!

so u left her there or u relocated back with her

Martinez39s:
The OP's situation would have been avoided if he had taken the red pill on female nature and gone mgtow. Many people love to hate and disparage redhill and mgtow men, but you will never see any of them in the OP's situation.

redpill and mgtow is now a thing in nigeria ?

Ebenezer2O2O:
NONSENSE.

But it's not my fault you've not crossed the borders before

Martinez39s:
The wilderness in Nigeria is better than the missile approaching him over there.

Chai! That missile carry nuclear warhead!

Stories like this make me shiver.

LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months

Next time you want to post your marital problems online, do well to point out both you and your wife's personality; the good and bad aspects, so we can judge and advice you without bias. Thank you.

My brother na u Bleep up
Chai same thing dat ended my cousin bro's carer
Fear woman

prettysassygirl:
You should have left her in Nigeria knowing the kind of person she was from the beginning.

He should have divorced her in Nigeria

Sankabson:
Reach out to her family member down here. They could be able to talk some senses into her.

Let her know as well, that whatsoever she's doing or up to. The future of her kids are at stake too.

But maybe your own GRA GRA too much for Naija too?! Cos for her to change in just few months... E get why!!

She's the fighting type. Even his friends warned him not to bring her down

LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

She is being careless. Record everything she says including the threats. Take screenshots of the dating sites she is in. Play the mumu card, get enough evidence so when you finally divorce her she will be left with nothing. In fact now you need to secretly engage a comietent divorce lawyer, get as much info as you can.

eni4real:
He should have divorced her in Nigeria

abi, she fit begin claim things from this guy o.

Mcslize:
Madam stop this advice. Ask who for forgiveness? Somebody he brought from Nigeria and still harbouring malice that he will beg for forgiveness? Will that stop her from actualizing her evil plan on the man?

Let's view things from a reality point of angle before dishing out selfish advice to someone who is at the losing end.

You are a woman that's why you are advicing the man to beg the troublesome wife for forgiveness. If she is a good wife she wouldn't have been harbouring grudges of what transpired between them in Nigeria just in a bid to pay the innocent man back.

It is only a devil incarnate type of woman will use her own hands to destroy a man who solely brought her abroad for a better life. That woman is not a wise woman. She reasons with her emotions without seeing the reality side of things.

Begging her will not prevent her from her misbehaviors rather it will worsen things. All what the man needs to do is send her back to Nigeria before it is too late.

Exactly bro. A reasonable woman would have been thanking God for giving her all the ability to endure the man's overbearing attitude while in Nigeria because of the new life she found herself. She wouldn't have remembered the past let alone thinking of bringing the man down. Well, I blame the man for taking her abroad, did he not see the redflag?

I would love to ask where are u from and also ur wife? because reading through ur story i have found out dat ur wife has capitalised on d america constitution to deal with u becos she knows very well dat d laws there wil protect her, if she misbehave. I will also partly blame u because haven knw d kind of woman u married in nigeria, u won't have allowed her come to America. Sending money to her here 4 d upkeep of d children would have been d best option. That is what must Men who are base in abroad do here in Benin City.

etrange:
OP, I guess this is what you want to hear. Lads hating and bashing Nigerian women for the actions of some. As if we all hate Nigerian men for the rape stories we read everyday.

are u ok?

I pray things get better in your marriage.

lekki1444:
redpill and mgtow is now a thing in nigeria ?

Yep! It's not as widespread as it is in western countries. Redpill men are in every country since female nature is universal.