| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by lilyheaven: 2:46pm On May 23, 2020 |
[img][/img] LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...
I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.
I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!
She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.
The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.
I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.
I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.
My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.
I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!
For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.
THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!
UPDATE:
Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now. Oga sorry o, you have seen hell . Please send her back to Nigeria |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by LONGPREEK(m): 2:46pm On May 23, 2020 |
Ebenezer2O2O:
audio Canada.
I live in New York, United States of America and I'm typing from there as I speak.
Nonsense Bleep u all if you in these contries are broke as hell. i live in nigeria. a 3 bedroom mansion in banana island. 5 mins walk from adenuga house. abeg shu up. o be the same new york wey speddalington dey? 3 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Cephas11(m): 2:47pm On May 23, 2020 |
Some people are so fking daft..For him to have genuinely created an account to pour out his heart to people on here should have firstly be seen as courage in seeking advice but trust me we have more sadist here than anywhere else....I pray you pull through this bro...This type of news has been on the front for a long time...Stay safe and be ahead of the game..record her codedly when she starts her madness 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by lenghtinny(m): 2:47pm On May 23, 2020 |
darfay:
For the fact that he isn't in good terms with his wife doesn't give you the right to refer to another man's wife as a hoe. Bros before your wife? Abeg make we dey reason and advise with sense Stop making stupid people famous....
The bros they love to hype aren’t any better than the ones they call hoes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Starz825(m): 2:47pm On May 23, 2020 |
Iruosonobrugwhe:
fix a secret camera at home God go bless you for this advise ooo.... Na the first thing wey come ma head before I even read the story finish... Fix a camera...u go win hands down 1 Like |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by apexx554: 2:47pm On May 23, 2020 |
[color=#] 4274130[/color] |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by safarigirl(f): 2:48pm On May 23, 2020 |
LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...
I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.
I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!
She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.
The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.
I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.
I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.
My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.
I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!
For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.
THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!
UPDATE:
Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now. I'm happy for you. You cannot use your own money to bring war into your home. Divorce her, but don't stop there. Take advantage of the fact that you are more familiar with America, fight her for custody of your children, so, you don't have to pay her child support. She's jobless anyway, so, the court will favor you. Deal with her so much, she will deport her own self back to Nigeria. Don't let anybody cause you heartache and restlessness in your own home. 13 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by MPESA(m): 2:49pm On May 23, 2020 |
Eberechiru:
Am sure you must have done something really bad to her eg telling her to be forever grateful to you for changing her life and need some sought of wordship from her, you probably don’t even send enough up keep money back when she was in Nigeria and I can say for a fact you just have hit her back when your in Nigeria... women are beautiful creatures so ask yourself why everyone is on her side and telling her to show you say una no deh Nigeria again....
I honestly don’t feel sorry for you you made her into the monster she became...
And for coming here your one of those that’ll forever rant about how you picked her up from the gutter and did this and that and all.... What's wrong with you people can't you read before commenting...... All what you are saying here are totally off point from what he narrated, always follows up thread to a point before commenting. 1 Like |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Golan007: 2:49pm On May 23, 2020 |
Divorce the woman already.
Find one compatible with your ways. |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Ebenezer2O2O(m): 2:50pm On May 23, 2020 |
LONGPREEK:
Bleep u all if you in these contries are broke as hell. i live in nigeria. a 3 bedroom mansion in banana island. 5 mins walk from adenuga house. abeg shu up. o be the same new york wey jspeddalington dey? long preek with short sense. I pity you |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by SweetCunt97(f): 2:50pm On May 23, 2020 |
LONGPREEK:
Bleep u all if you in these contries are broke as hell. i live in nigeria. a 3 bedroom mansion in banana island. 5 mins walk from adenuga house. abeg shu up. o be the same new york wey speddalington dey? Naso. Some of them are mortuary attendants, dish washers over there o. 1 Like |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by squad03: 2:51pm On May 23, 2020 |
LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...
I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.
I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!
She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.
The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.
I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.
I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.
My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.
I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!
For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.
THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!
UPDATE:
Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now. I was glad to read your update. My brother is in the same mess only thing is he has chosen to cut off his entire family back home and only sneaks in a call or two when madam lets him come out for air. Before the update came in,I was going to say install inconspicuous cameras in the house,that way you have evidence of her misbehaviour. That was probably what kept a friend of mine out of police custody-he had been secretly filming the arguments. Your wife eye go soon clear,no be abroad? All hens eventually come home to roost. |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Akwu001(m): 2:51pm On May 23, 2020 |
My advise is this. Instead of staying there to be destroyed, you do your best to take her back to Nigeria. For instance when her Visa expires, you send her back. Or else hide behind the law and separate quitely. To live with a bad woman is dangerous. She can harm you and you will end up where there is silence. |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by SweetCunt97(f): 2:51pm On May 23, 2020 |
Ebenezer2O2O:
long preek with short sense.
I pity you So u in New York now |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by apexx6984: 2:51pm On May 23, 2020 |
[color=#] 2971851[/color] |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by perryy(m): 2:51pm On May 23, 2020 |
Luckymama:
All marriages have a rocky start. There will definitely be issues and personality clashes. But when a man exercises self control and displays real leadership in the home, he earns the deep respect of his wife. A woman who deeply respects her husband is fiercely loyal.
But instead of earning respect, you men strut around demanding respect and doing things to your wife that you would never accept in a million years.
You know yourself that if she had dared to lift her hand against you in Nigeria, you would have panel beated her sotay her mother will not recognize her.
I am in no way justifying your wife’s actions, but they sound like the actions of a very bitter woman. All I am saying is something must have caused that bitterness. I don’t think any sane woman gets married in order to destroy a man’s life. Something(s) happen to make women become vindictive. Adulterous woman can do anything to destroy her man so that she would be fully free. I was in that shoe , only God saved me. While the man was away, the woman was fucking around and on getting there , she found herself being restrained by her husband's presence, hence the need to destroy the man to have freedom. I was there and I surely know what I'm saying. Such women are usually from useless families 6 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Coolcalmcollect(m): 2:52pm On May 23, 2020 |
get her deported back to Nigeria na, hide her documents and report a foreign alien in the country and have the bish deported. se bi she say she mad ni, show her say you craze pass am... I hate weak men o 1 Like |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by dinggle: 2:52pm On May 23, 2020 |
Israeli services was made specifically for this type of woman, drug her put her in the next plane straight to naija. When she wakes up, you tell her it was all a dream. 2 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Ebenezer2O2O(m): 2:52pm On May 23, 2020 |
SweetCunt97:
So u in New York now yeah and does that make u wet already? |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by incogni2o: 2:53pm On May 23, 2020 |
LinLinGentle:
Not a tale bro. This is my life right now, I swear! I am in a very messy situation and cannot reveal my identity cos a lot of people we know are on nairaland. I am very sorry for your current situation Bro. I am an IT person and my wife a health person but I will likely never try us travelling abroad for now. she is likely to be part of the FIN group on Facebook, a lot of groups out there the devil has found to make women ask for their pound of flesh and make their husbands equal in stance to them in the Family. Respect gives a Man happiness and Joy, but I think that's lost in Families abroad. It is rather better one person goes and send money here to develop something the whole family can settle with. The wise knows that if you have something like 30million, and live modestly, there is no shaking here in Naija, you don't have to live in Lagos. Personally, I think our Parents were right, it is the Woman that should try to settle a home because if not, the end is making a Man that is weak. Naturally, a Man shouldn't be weak and I think there are a whole lot of weak men abroad. The family makeup is to make the Man, the person of Authority, (But not just authority, but responsibility). A Woman should know Respect is deserved to Men, but we also try to legitimately earn it by being responsible and loving. Things can still be sorted out though between both of you cos divorce is never an answer, you can have a bit of time of separation and reflection though. Firstly, make your ways right with God, get Godly friends or join Godly groups online. Apologise to her especially this time she is being disciplined, sincerely acknowledge your wrongs too, Kneel lovingly but not beggingly to let her know you still appreciate the relationship, you have children right. Pls don't make the life of those children more miserable cos lack of attention pushes children to become wayward. I know it's really hard. Start afresh with her, not with someone else. keep praying for her everyday, even if with the help of a pastor, God will break her and her head will reset IJN....Amen. Pele, It is well 1 Like |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by emkz: 2:53pm On May 23, 2020 |
Every relationship can be successful if both parties agree to co-operate to make it work. Reading your story, it reminded me of stories of Nigerian husbands who bring their wives from Nigeria to the United States, train them to be nurses and they end up killing them when these wives attempt to take over their houses through divorce and forcing them to pay alimony. This behaviour can ruin any man.
You were wrong to have been hot-tempered and treated your wife as a doormat. Your wife is also unforgiving and fails to understand your sacrifices. It is best you are divorcing because staying married under these conditions is actually a sin. Stories like yours arise because many get married and continue to put their interests ahead of their spouses and some of their interests don't even make sense, I mean, what would a woman gain by shattering her home and destroying her husband? What?
Nothing but shame and regret. 2 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by nedekid: 2:53pm On May 23, 2020 |
LinLinGentle:
I thought I was the devil but she is a bigger devil now. Problem is that her actions would send us all back to Nigeria broke and battered. We have had a few good times and more bad times. The marriage hasn't been an easy one and we've both been at fault. I thought that by moving them abroad and eliminating the distance, some of our problems could be easily worked on, but this is apparently creating bigger problems that can ruin us. Are you married bro? Sorry to ask you but you sound like a single guy, no offence. Ignore him jor, probably a student below 25. 2 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by GistFullGround: 2:53pm On May 23, 2020 |
LinLinGentle:
I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us! [b]Play your card very well. Make sure to pursue the case and allow her tears to bring you down because she will say "its the devils fault". Mark my words, SHE WILL BE DEPORTED! She is not even a citizen yet, she dey form Nollywood Movie, Mtchewwwww My man, deal with her o, except you wan die. NEVER trust any woman wey come from Naija but na only God fit help you with good ones... 3 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Akwu001(m): 2:54pm On May 23, 2020 |
You can also install secret cameras to capture her rude behavior. This will serve as a defence for you against her cruelty. |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Peppermintflav: 2:54pm On May 23, 2020 |
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| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by TheEnlightenedO(m): 2:55pm On May 23, 2020 |
LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...
I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.
I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!
She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.
The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.
I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.
I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.
My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.
I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!
For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.
THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!
UPDATE:
Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now. The same law equally protects me, the issue is most men are too macho to want to look weak by calling the cops but in this case it was an obvious necessity before she sets you up and harms herself saying you did it 1 Like |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by perryy(m): 2:55pm On May 23, 2020 |
LinLinGentle:
Again, in your opinion, you observed my marriage from the comfort of your keyboard and saw that I did not demonstrate self control and leadership. You are also quite sure that women never have bad attitude and whatever wrong they do could only be caused by men. Its always men, isn't it? Anyways your opinion is yours alone and only reflects your values. Don't mind her. Check her well, she is also adulterous like your wife. Bro, don't listen to advice from such devilish women oooo, I was there and I know what you are passing through. That your wife was fucking around while you were away and she is now seeing you as a cage hence the urge to have you sent to jail so that she have her freedom. Send her away and be free. |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by LyfeJennings(m): 2:55pm On May 23, 2020 |
Omo, I weak o
Weakened |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Nobody: 2:55pm On May 23, 2020 |
This is really sad |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by segun688: 2:55pm On May 23, 2020 |
LinLinGentle:
Once again, neither of us was saintly back in Nigeria. I visited from abroad one time and discovered she was on dating websites and attempting to be with men amongst other disgusting things. This was one of the reasons why we almost got divorced. Her family elders went with her to our family house to beg me and my people not to proceed with the divorce cos I had actually filed and sent the petition.
I forgave her for the sake of our children. They're my usual weak point that everyone uses to box me into a corner to get me to do something stupid. We resolved all issues and she and her family made several promises regarding her behaviours. I thought that it night be time we started planning on their relocation abroad as eliminating distance would be best for us all, only to get to this country and started dealing with even bigger sh**t
So there is really nothing like "Ask for forgiveness for all you did in Nigeria". I wasn't bashing or maltreating this woman. She is tougher than someone that could be maltreated sef. I have my occasional outbursts every now and then when I'm at my wit's end, but that's just about it. Look at how he is down playing physical violence. Do you know the physical and psychological damage you did to her during your numerous 'Occasional outbursts'? See how you are down playing the way you beat her severally. You both had a part to play in all of this. A woman cannot just decide to destroy you, especially when it will end up affecting her as well. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by aikeron: 2:56pm On May 23, 2020 |
tonididdy:
It's not messed up, she isn't doing anything different from "anyone arriving Eldorado" for the first time.
I am pretty sure you were a social media and pics worm during your first months.
Obviously you guys already had issues and you taught distance was the problem, so you brought her closer and issues are still there.
Anything she does now will be tied to your pending issues.
Just let her enjoy settling in... There is massive difference between living in Nigeria and living abroad,
The instant eye opener is so shocking and hard to believe.
I still tell everyone that gives me an ear, you haven't lived life if you have never being outside Nigeria, Africa in short. I detest folks like you who minimize people’s experiences. It’s pathetic you summarized this man’s entire nightmare to a mere settling down syndrome on his wife’s side. Here’s someone complaining of losing productivity at work, becoming depressed, being investigated for faux domestic violence, being hit by his wife, and his career being targeted and threatened And your submission is that it ain’t a big deal. There are topics we simply can keep quiet about, especially if we don’t know what to say rather than open our mouth and compromise basic thinking. 11 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by edoairways: 2:57pm On May 23, 2020 |
Aliii:
I am already angry for latter weh nor be my own..bro seriously she's your end,you better leave now ,go to somewhere where she can't see you again ..then she knows what abroad is all about ,I hate Nigerian women they are a mess of themselves when they get abroad. Not all of them 1 Like |
