LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

perryy:


Adulterous woman can do anything to destroy her man so that she would be fully free. I was in that shoe , only God saved me. While the man was away, the woman was fucking around and on getting there , she found herself being restrained by her husband's presence, hence the need to destroy the man to have freedom. I was there and I surely know what I'm saying. Such women are usually from useless families

LinLinGentle:
You are right bro, I had plenty gra gra back in Naija and I think she has psychologically programmed herself before arrival to come take her pound of flesh here. There is complete breakdown of communication with her family as they are on her side, always encouraging her to call the police on me. All they say is ''No gree for am o, he think say na Naija he dey. Show am well well, you have rights there and the govt. would support you''

LONGPREEK:
abi, she fit begin claim things from this guy o.

Ebenezer2O2O:
yeah and does that make u wet already?

SweetCunt97:
no

Firefox01:
Men have been severally warned times without number. Avoid bringing your Nigerian wife or girlfriend abroad. If she can't remain married to you cos of distance, simply divorce. Now look at you, your sponsored and brought in misfortune with your own hands. Oga, look for ways to take a vacation to Nigeria with her, burn her passport and fly back without her knowledge. Ces fini

LinLinGentle:
You are right bro, I had plenty gra gra back in Naija and I think she has psychologically programmed herself before arrival to come take her pound of flesh here. There is complete breakdown of communication with her family as they are on her side, always encouraging her to call the police on me. All they say is ''No gree for am o, he think say na Naija he dey. Show am well well, you have rights there and the govt. would support you''

SweetCunt97:
Naso. Some of them are mortuary attendants, dish washers over there o.

Mcslize:


You are lucky. We all pray to have good wives some days. This is a serious issue that requires God intervention. Getting that cool wife who is not there to destroy you is not a day job.

How did you meet your wife? Did you ask God for a good wife when you were looking for a partner or you simply met your wife by luck?

KristaPretty:
Ensure that she does not remain there when her visa expires. Since you do not have your pali yet according to you, I am guessing she did not come with an immigration visa.

Best thing to do is to allow her go back without staying there permanently, she will divorce and ruin your career. Tho you had your issues, since you have decided to make life better she should have been calm and forgiving.
Let her go back to Nigeria and do not make attempt to make her relocate permanently. Ensure you send money for them when they are back to Nigeria and visit too.
I had a neighbour whose career ended up being ruined by his wife this exact way, he ended up coming back and sells hand bags at a popular bustop. Too bad.

grafixdon:
This same senero happened to my brother. The guy brought his family to UK. Wify started disrespecting him, he beats her up, she involved police and wholla my brother was sent back to naija without a dime.

Today, he looks like a mad man, no income, no job, take excess alcohol and tramadol.

The woman finished him, uk government sent him packing from his house he suffered to get in uk.

Some women are evil

LinLinGentle:
You are right bro, I had plenty gra gra back in Naija and I think she has psychologically programmed herself before arrival to come take her pound of flesh here. There is complete breakdown of communication with her family as they are on her side, always encouraging her to call the police on me. All they say is ''No gree for am o, he think say na Naija he dey. Show am well well, you have rights there and the govt. would support you''

dunk2011:
My brothers and sisters ...you cant judge a book by its cover ... always 2 sides of the story ... it will be nice to hear from madam herself... women just don't change overnight..sometime happen trust me ....for the sake of the kids seek marriage counseling and if e no work ..divorce is the only option.

DR PHIL once said kids prefer to be from a broken home than to be around fighting parents ..very unhealthy

******life is 2 short to be stressing... trust me hard times don't last tough ppl do.