| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by eyinjuege: 3:17pm On May 23, 2020 |
dunk2011:
This your story get k leg..
A friend I know tried it with his wife .. all she did went back to the consulate and get document to travel back..
I wonder o. People just like beer parlour stories and will propagate it further. These documents do get lost in real life, and they can always be replaced. grafixdon:
This same senero happened to my brother. The guy brought his family to UK. Wify started disrespecting him, he beats her up, she involved police and wholla my brother was sent back to naija without a dime.
Today, he looks like a mad man, no income, no job, take excess alcohol and tramadol.
The woman finished him, uk government sent him packing from his house he suffered to get in uk.
Some women are evil Why should your brother beat up his wife? Violence is never tolerated abroad for any reason, and I'm sure he knew this. So why did he do it? He didn't care about the repercussions abi? Its normal to call the police for any reason. Even neighbors will call the police on you if they hear any noise from your house. Na their work be that. I find it really annoying when Nigerians travel to another country, know they're immigrants with only residential permit and start misbehaving there. You will just lose all for a stupid reason and lack of self control. Was the beating worth the consequences at the end of the day? 2 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by EgunMogaji2: 3:18pm On May 23, 2020 |
1) Not all, but most of this Nigeria man brings woman to oversea almost always turns bad. I’m not surprised that OP is going through this as it’s the standard at least in the USA.
2) OP, it’ll only get worse. You’re going to think about self preservation at some point.
Not only your career but your very life is at risk now. 6 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by joyandfaith: 3:18pm On May 23, 2020 |
Conductor261:
Sell the house. Move to a smaller apartment. Sell the cars.
keep the money in his Nigerian bank account. he should prepare for worst 1 Like |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Themandalorian: 3:20pm On May 23, 2020 |
LinLinGentle:
Divorce has been filed. I got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now. Please just make sure your lawyer is experienced on cases like this. Try get evidences that she is the one doing hurtful things to you that's the only way you can win this case. My best friend went through what you are going through and he lost everything cos he didn't have enough evidences to back his claim. What I'm saying in essence is that Women here tend to win divorce cases against men, domestic violence cases too. Just be prepared for the worse. 7 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Nobody: 3:20pm On May 23, 2020 |
Shinny1:
I understand everything you said but if you really want peace to reign in your home ask her for forgiveness...even for the things you don't know you did..most ladies are like that
Then make her understand that you most things available are yet to be paid for and that if you mistakenly are sent back to Nigeria that she with the children will suffer cos they have not mastered how things work over there...
Most importantly is prayer never relent in praying for your family and everything You want to give her complete control over the OP?? |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by samsard(m): 3:21pm On May 23, 2020 |
Sankabson:
Reach out to her family member down here. They could be able to talk some senses into her.
Let her know as well, that whatsoever she's doing or up to. The future of her kids are at stake too.
But maybe your own GRA GRA too much for Naija too?! Cos for her to change in just few months... E get why!! |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by joyandfaith: 3:22pm On May 23, 2020 |
LinLinGentle:
Once again, neither of us was saintly back in Nigeria. I visited from abroad one time and discovered she was on dating websites and attempting to be with men amongst other disgusting things. This was one of the reasons why we almost got divorced. Her family elders went with her to our family house to beg me and my people not to proceed with the divorce cos I had actually filed and sent the petition.
I forgave her for the sake of our children. They're my usual weak point that everyone uses to box me into a corner to get me to do something stupid. We resolved all issues and she and her family made several promises regarding her behaviours. I thought that it night be time we started planning on their relocation abroad as eliminating distance would be best for us all, only to get to this country and started dealing with even bigger sh**t
So there is really nothing like "Ask for forgiveness for all you did in Nigeria". I wasn't bashing or maltreating this woman. She is tougher than someone that could be maltreated sef. I have my occasional outbursts every now and then when I'm at my wit's end, but that's just about it. you should not have brought her over. |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by omanzo02: 3:23pm On May 23, 2020 |
This is very simple, if the OP lives in an EU country the wife legal stay permit is dependant on that of OP, the day the OP ask for separation/divorce, her stay permit is in danger, and if she is jobless the possibility of asking her to leave the country is very high and no court will force the OP to pay child support above his limit, the woman is ignorant of understand of her actions. OP should get her violent behaviour on video and see a family lawyer for legal advice. 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by newride: 3:23pm On May 23, 2020 |
LinLinGentle:
You are right bro, I had plenty gra gra back in Naija and I think she has psychologically programmed herself before arrival to come take her pound of flesh here. There is complete breakdown of communication with her family as they are on her side, always encouraging her to call the police on me. All they say is ''No gree for am o, he think say na Naija he dey. Show am well well, you have rights there and the govt. would support you'' Please send her back to nigeria.. With style.. Am very angry. As for your gra gra.. My brother everybdoy get their own for body... You will be surprise that shes already planning to date one white guy their.. Dump your kid for you.. Ao before that time. Be wise.. 5 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by lenghtinny(m): 3:23pm On May 23, 2020 |
Eberechiru:
Am sure you must have done something really bad to her eg telling her to be forever grateful to you for changing her life and need some sought of wordship from her, you probably don’t even send enough up keep money back when she was in Nigeria and I can say for a fact you just have hit her back when your in Nigeria... women are beautiful creatures so ask yourself why everyone is on her side and telling her to show you say una no deh Nigeria again....
I honestly don’t feel sorry for you you made her into the monster she became...
And for coming here your one of those that’ll forever rant about how you picked her up from the gutter and did this and that and all.... It’s not that difficult to know that this balderdash is coming from a woman....
I can perceive the fish brain odour from a mile away 9 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Nobody: 3:24pm On May 23, 2020 |
Mindlog:
Newly registered username, another tale. one sense u no just get, |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by SamNaijaboy: 3:25pm On May 23, 2020 |
Sorry for you bro. I have a friend who brought his wife abroad with the children. Sharperly she started flirting with a man while the guy was away from work and the guy came back to find his wife had received a surface pro gift from the new guy. She was even arguing with him that she was within her rights to keep the guy as a friend and collect any gifts. This was a woman who didnt do any work, and was a full-time housewife, being kept by the man. The husband was asking me if I think she could be cheating. I told him to look for more proof, not wanting to put him in depression. A wife who can be arguing with you for days about a guyfriend giving her expensive gifts has already "collected" more in secret. That guy did nothing wrong, but has entered issues. Guy, you need to get in touch with me and I'll help you out. I made the same mistake as you did. I married an Igbo girl who became as bad as yours when she got here. I divorced her and got custody of my son. She now pays me child support and I stay FAR from her. I am one of the 1% or so of men that won their cases and I know what I did. Very expensive though, but I am at peace now. I don't even date Nigerian women here in the USA after that anymore as they are mostly bedevilled with the same issues-trying to pay their husbands back for some hurt their father and uncle did to their mom or aunt. When you are dating or married to them, they somehow believe that they can do better than you or something. And there is no use wasting money on women trust me. They are never satistied and you are as good as the latest thing you did for them. All things good you did in the past means nothing. It's the evil they think you did they keep in their mind hoping to pay you back. Who needs such in their lives? LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...
I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.
I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!
She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.
The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.
I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.
I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.
My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.
I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!
For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.
THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!
UPDATE:
Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now. 7 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by gwama2: 3:26pm On May 23, 2020 |
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| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by kpolli(m): 3:26pm On May 23, 2020 |
LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...
I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.
I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!
She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.
The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.
I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.
I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.
My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.
I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!
For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.
THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!
UPDATE:
Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now. Also alert the immigration of the country you're in. Let them know that someone's status is about to be revoked. Her village people are calling her back 1 Like |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by ernie1234(m): 3:26pm On May 23, 2020 |
Sankabson:
Reach out to her family member down here. They could be able to talk some senses into her.
Let her know as well, that whatsoever she's doing or up to. The future of her kids are at stake too.
But maybe your own GRA GRA too much for Naija too?! Cos for her to change in just few months... E get why!! Should that be the reason she has turned to a � |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by MrBrownJay1(m): 3:26pm On May 23, 2020 |
LinLinGentle:
Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now. [img] https://media./images/763c8161ef3474b0a9c0a0b9f4eeeb9f/tenor.gif[/img] hopefully the divorce will send her right back to where this ungrateful woman came from... 1 Like |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Amhappy(f): 3:27pm On May 23, 2020 |
Reading the first part of your story ,i would have asked you to get evidence of her actions and present to police. Seems you already did that. Its great you guys are already processing divorce before you kill each other. She was ready to pay you back in your own coin. You were once a terrible husband chikina. It was unforgiving spirit at work. Good luck. 2 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Kemeoti: 3:28pm On May 23, 2020 |
Bro. Try and get a lawyer, find away to send that woman back home where she belong...
Don't allow here to stay up to year if not u are in a deep shit I mean very deep shit .. |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by guru90: 3:29pm On May 23, 2020 |
This is just tale.
Because if it is in real life, u could have wait for your citizenship first. |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by liberalchick(f): 3:29pm On May 23, 2020 |
eyinjuege:
I wonder o.
People just like beer parlour stories and will propagate it further.
These documents do get lost in real life, and they can always be replaced.
Why should your brother beat up his wife?
Violence is never tolerated abroad for any reason, and I'm sure he knew this.
So why did he do it? He didn't care about the repercussions abi?
Its normal to call the police for any reason. Even neighbors will call the police on you if they hear any noise from your house. Na their work be that.
I find it really annoying when Nigerians travel to another country, know they're immigrants with only residential permit and start misbehaving there. You will just lose all for a stupid reason and lack of self control.
Was the beating worth the consequences at the end of the day?
Lol don’t mind them, when they realize the nonsense they do back home to their wives is illegal in a civilized country they start crying “law favors women in the West” I deal with a lot of them here. They act surprised and feel victimized when they are not allowed to abuse women. Hehehe. 10 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by monfizzy(m): 3:30pm On May 23, 2020 |
I’ve read all through the thread and this only strengthened my resolve not to get married anytime soon or best put marrying anyone who doesn’t welcome the idea of living in Nigeria while I visit annually aside. I’m a British citizen in my early 30’s seriously considering getting married but in a dilemma of trying to find a balance of either bringing my to-be wife to the U.K. or leave her in Naija with both having it own challenges. However, leaving a woman in Naija seem a lesser evil.
Not particularly surprised by this story coz I’ve had friends who made the mistake of bringing their spouse here all regretting, about 8 in 10 marriages of Nigerians who brought their spouse to the U.K. packed up within 1-3years. A friend is now a stranger in his home and gradually sliding into depression just after a year the wife moved here.
Surprisingly, any girl I get to talk to and give the impression that they’ll live in Naija expresses their discontentment with such arrangement, so they’re looking for who to use and move abroad and destroy their life. Maybe I should just marry a Caucasian and forget about my desire of getting married to an Igbo babe so as to avoid unfortunate stories like this. It’s well 13 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Heavance(m): 3:30pm On May 23, 2020 |
Just here to learn.
I really don't know what happens to our women once they travel out. 2 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by ifyanunw: 3:31pm On May 23, 2020 |
Oga for you to agree like this, that you did gra gra here in naija tells me ,that you really showed this woman pepper, you dealt with her , and for her to still carry on dis vengeance on, proved that you had killed her emotionally and psychologically, and have shattered her life, if not I don't see why a woman will be behaving like this, pls go back to those this you knew you did to her back then and fell her pain then see how you can help heal her , pls stop the fight otherwise both of you might regrets it 2 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by sheyiofficial(m): 3:31pm On May 23, 2020 |
BRO! BRO!! BRO!!!
This tin is your fault, a woman is a witch and a saint, the side u see depends on how you treat her.
from your commet its shows you have hurt this woman greatly, she kept quite waiting for the right moment to take her revenge...
it might be you have cheated on her or beat her up badly or even disgraces her...women dont forget...
she is not bad at all she just wounded, this tin pain her as much as it pained u
go to her admit all your fault(mosly if u have cheated on her b4) u will see she will drop down in tears. she just want u to see thru her character 2 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Nobody: 3:31pm On May 23, 2020 |
And despite everything that OP wrote there and several similar xperiences of others shared here, some effeminate men are still advising Op to beg or prostrate for the wife. The calibre of some men here is appaling. Some real weaklings who will learn the hard way...na beg dem come this life beg.
Op you are on track anyway. Some very instructive inputs have also been shared here, which will further save you from this dicey situation. You'll survive this! 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by olancho: 3:32pm On May 23, 2020 |
I know some men who left their family here in Nigeria and traveled they only visit once in two years, they take their children over there once they complete secondary school. The worst mistake a man will make is coming back to marry here and take her abroad when there are women over there to marry, especially those in America marrying nurses from Nigeria. When you take them over and they get a job they forget you and face their family.if you are unlucky to lose your job your name changes to Mr Wood and she will poison the children's mind and they will abandon you. Bros your friends advised you against bringing your wife and you neglected them and brought her well I advice you face the music. For those of you over there you are yet to marry shine your eye. My sister in New York do gist me what Nigeian men especially ogbo men are going through over there because of their wife. I am not saying there are no good women over there but they are 1%. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by cooltola(m): 3:32pm On May 23, 2020 |
Marriage counseling but she is cheating already. |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by omanzo02: 3:32pm On May 23, 2020 |
MrBrownJay1:
[img]https://media./images/763c8161ef3474b0a9c0a0b9f4eeeb9f/tenor.gif[/img]
hopefully the divorce will send her right back to where this ungrateful woman came from... I think so if they are in an EU country, her stay permit is dependant on whom invited her to join him, if she is jobless well they may want her out quicker because the government wouldn't want to take her responsibilities. |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Shancca: 3:34pm On May 23, 2020 |
Save without her consent and investment in landed properties in Nigeria. I can understand what you are passing through as I have witnessed such event. Your wife is not far from a devil if this story is not one sided as told. You need to step up your game and most importantly, pray if you are a believer. Women take advantage of the law in the West that favours them the most. My brother, save without her consent and establish in Nigeria should in case the chips fall down. My thoughts and prayers are with you man. LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...
I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.
I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!
She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.
The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.
I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.
I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.
My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.
I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!
For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.
THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!
UPDATE:
Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now. |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by MrBrownJay1(m): 3:35pm On May 23, 2020 |
omanzo02:
I think so if they are in an EU country, her stay permit is dependant on whom invited her to join him, if she is jobless well they may want her out quicker because the government wouldn't want to take her responsibilities. yeah and i would think the US would be the same... |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by Prymestrr(m): 3:35pm On May 23, 2020 |
LinLinGentle:
I thought I was the devil but she is a bigger devil now. Problem is that her actions would send us all back to Nigeria broke and battered. We have had a few good times and more bad times. The marriage hasn't been an easy one and we've both been at fault. I thought that by moving them abroad and eliminating the distance, some of our problems could be easily worked on, but this is apparently creating bigger problems that can ruin us. Are you married bro? Sorry to ask you but you sound like a single guy, no offence. The guy is single and broke as f.uck. Pay him no mind. Them plenty for Nairaland Romance and Family topics  2 Likes |
| Re: Wife Trying To Ruin My Career Within A Few Months Of Arriving Abroad by SamNaijaboy: 3:38pm On May 23, 2020 |
But then a white wife will likely never disrespect him like that. safarigirl:
your brother allowed himself become a victim.
Once a man beats a woman abroad, e no get defense again. Some women intentionally rile up their husbands, to achieve that, and your brother fell into the trap.
So many Nigerian men that allow their tempers ruin them in that abroad, forgetting that abroad is not Nigeria that you can do anyhow. I wonder if he would have beaten a white wife. |
