LinLinGentle:
I wasn't a devil incarnate back in Naija abeg. I was just a normal young married professional who is not a perfect human being. She is not here to tell her own side of the story but there is a high probability that she has hurt me more overall if we were counting. Someone asked about my happiness earlier, but the truth is that I have never been happy since I married this lady. I have always slept with one eye open since day 1, cos I have never seen any hint of her love, loyalty or respect. It was merely a marriage of convenience and strategic planning. The only thing that have kept me going through the years and caused sentiments that led to bringing her abroad despite her toxic nature back in naija is my children, a decision I am now paying for dearly!

I am strongly looking into taking the red pill if I can successfully navigate this divorce/separation with minimal disruption to my life. I am one of the few guys I know who have never really felt that ''TRUE LOVE'' people talk about. Everyone I have ever dated including the one I married have always turned out to be using me as a part of their hustle.

Why have you always attracted abusive women into your life? Were you raised by a narcissist mother and/or father? I ask this because when one grows up in an abusive home as a child, you tend to subconsciously attract abusive people into your life as an adult because that is your normal. It is what you are accustomed to.

People raised by narcissist parents also tend to be people pleasers and when you are a people pleaser, people will use you as part of their own hustle as you have mentioned. You will have to learn to set boundaries with people.

As for your marital issue, I doubt things are going to get better between you and your wife. Both of you may have to go your separate ways and just co-parent peacefully.

Raising children in a toxic home where both of you argue all the time and cops have to keep coming to the house is not healthy for your kids. Your kids might grow up and choose not to have anything to do with marriage because they saw how awful you and your wife's marriage was. Anyways, all the best.

IMASTEX:

I thought I was the only one that noticed the fakeness. Of recent there have been obvious similar tales bordering on relationship, marriage & sex. Perhaps a way to engage people out side Covid & cleavage topics.

Not fake. He probably have a username that is his identity.

I my self has brought up issues here that relates to woman with a new account cos I don't want to mess my account up. You too would do the same someday if u have an embarrassing issue

You sounded like a nice guy and I hope you are. I wanted to offer some pieces of advice. But once I read your update stating that you have filed for divorce already, I decided to reserve my comments. I wish you all the best.

LinLinGentle:
I thought I was the devil but she is a bigger devil now. Problem is that her actions would send us all back to Nigeria broke and battered. We have had a few good times and more bad times. The marriage hasn't been an easy one and we've both been at fault. I thought that by moving them abroad and eliminating the distance, some of our problems could be easily worked on, but this is apparently creating bigger problems that can ruin us. Are you married bro? Sorry to ask you but you sound like a single guy, no offence.

as long as you hold permanent residence how would her action bring all of you to Nigeria?
See let me tell you about Nigerian women: no matter how you tell them what you have gone through to make the family happy they will surely mess up overseas. I have permanent residence in Europe, I have every right to bring my wife here, but if I see how they behave here brother I dey fear like say I dey next to African lion. Well I never see Igbo women behave like this since I have been in abroad.

EgunMogaji2:
1) Not all, but most of this Nigeria man brings woman to oversea almost always turns bad. I’m not surprised that OP is going through this as it’s the standard at least in the USA.

2) OP, it’ll only get worse. You’re going to think about self preservation at some point.

Not only your career but your very life is at risk now.

That's why he has to be 2-3 steps ahead. Before she tries to kill him or set a contract on his head.. Person wey don dey get replacement from SM..

Cry more than wolf... Accuse her of making threats on you...... To the cops ,immigration, work, rewrite your will, appoint trustworthy executors....


Her hands must not touch anything

Person wey neva get full paper dey crase more than "omonile"

She neva see somtin!! Think say all that mumu TV she dey watch na the real deal.


.

My brother Linlingentle, I will be very honest with you, this case is spiritual and you can only emerge victoriously, if and only if you approach the situation spiritually. The final plan of the enemy is to make you commit suicide or kill your wife, or both.
Actions to be taken:
1. Sincerely give you life to Jesus Christ of you have not already done so.
2. Steer clear of any sin.
3. Never retaliate when she attacks you.
4. Become a prayer warrior and disarm any evil spirit inhabiting and operating through your wife on a daily basis.
5. Be kind to her in spite of anything she does.
6. Pray that GOD should give you the grace to endure.
Expected Result: You wife will either change or run away from you.

Actually you are wrong.
They are more respectful and cultured-on average. There is that mutual respect.
At least that has been my experience. Maybe was just rolling with middle class and upper class only. But was always the same person in the relationships.
I just think marrying in USA and West for a man is crappy.

safarigirl:
LOL. Story

Black men don't have the balls to treat white women the way they treat black ones. A White woman will rarely get the chance to disrespect him, because he will respect himself first.

Those ones no get time for too much talk, the day you shout at them, dem don report you already, you won't even get the chance to beat them. It is Nigerian women that will stand and be following you to shout.

Make una go ask Eboue wetin e see for oyibo hand.

SamNaijaboy:
Actually you are wrong.
They are more respectful and cultured-on average. There is that mutual respect.
At least that has been my experience. Maybe was just rolling with middle class and upper class only. But was always the same person in the relationships.
I just think marrying in USA and West for a man is crappy.

Most respectful and cultured on average, are the Asians, not white women. You must have never seen them in their element, very entitled bunch.

Confirm from your lawyers if it's right to record discussions you have with her so that going forward if you have to meet with her -- always record all your conversations.

If possible, keep a spy camera in all your rooms. Activate them any day she's "allowed" into your house.

You need sufficient evidence to keep yourself clean.

IMASTEX:

I thought I was the only one that noticed the fakeness. Of recent there have been obvious similar tales bordering on relationship, marriage & sex. Perhaps a way to engage people out side Covid & cleavage topics.

Those topics are plenty on the family section. They hardly moved them to the frontpage until now.

DarkJeddi:
Lol

Some women are actually WITCH from the onset..

Well, maybe. At least, you got my point.

etrange:


For all it's worth, I live in Canada. I don't argue that some women don't cause problems for their husbands. I am saying a lot of women still live well with their husbands after coming abroad so saying 'I hate Nigerian women' is sexist and over reaching. We men have our faults too. Some of us live in the Western world where women have equal rights with men and yet we try to subdue our women with the fear that they will be difficult to manage if allowed to explore. At the end, this makes them turn against us. A lot of homes are broken here cause some Nigerian men can't bear the slightest hint of equality. My point is, if the OP's wife is terrible (neglecting the dangers of one sided stories), then she should be criticized and not 'Nigerian women'. You don't bash all women cause of the action of some. If we treat men-related issues like this, nobody will like Nigerian men as well.

Best Truth

Sankabson:
Reach out to her family member down here. They could be able to talk some senses into her.

Let her know as well, that whatsoever she's doing or up to. The future of her kids are at stake too.

But maybe your own GRA GRA too much for Naija too?! Cos for her to change in just few months... E get why!!

Didn't you read the part that said she's been influenced by her family and friends?

your very stu.pid

Eberechiru:
Am sure you must have done something really bad to her eg telling her to be forever grateful to you for changing her life and need some sought of wordship from her, you probably don’t even send enough up keep money back when she was in Nigeria and I can say for a fact you just have hit her back when your in Nigeria... women are beautiful creatures so ask yourself why everyone is on her side and telling her to show you say una no deh Nigeria again....

I honestly don’t feel sorry for you you made her into the monster she became...
And for coming here your one of those that’ll forever rant about how you picked her up from the gutter and did this and that and all....

I thank God for you. I can relate well, when it comes to relationship abroad, especially with African women. I am experiencing something very similar to this now, the difference is that my wife and children have been living abroad before joining them. I left a good banking job in Nigeria, I think I will share my story later. My advice to you is that please don't look back, go ahead with the divorce. African women have destroyed a lot of men because the laws favour them abroad.

lekki1444:
yeah i hear you lol. its very hard to maintain a relationship in this internet era. all these porn online ? you can never make your woman happy again.. you have 10 inches but a po-rnstar has 14 inches ? she will always be angry at you for not having 14

If you are married and you have 4 inches while your handsome, well-built gateman has a 9 inch, wide, hard anaconda.... your wife will surely get attack by your gateman's predator while you are away at work if she is aware of his predator's existence. Dey no tell person.


NB: pun intended

Nairaland of stupid stories

Martinez39s:
If you are married and you have 4 inches while your handsome, well-built gateman has a 9 inch, wide, hard anaconda.... your wife will surely get attack by your gateman's predator while you are away at work if she is aware of his predator's existence. Dey no tell person.


NB: pun intended

SenecaTheYonger:

this mumu expect OP to give up his real ID just so he can please a no-faced-10MB-2 meals a day scum. Lmfao.

You just reminded me of one my patients. Soaking up comments like yours is part of my 9 to 5 job, so it has no effect on me.

LinLinGentle:
You are right bro, I had plenty gra gra back in Naija and I think she has psychologically programmed herself before arrival to come take her pound of flesh here. There is complete breakdown of communication with her family as they are on her side, always encouraging her to call the police on me. All they say is ''No gree for am o, he think say na Naija he dey. Show am well well, you have rights there and the govt. would support you''

I like your truthfulness. But your wife eh! Na God go solve her case o.

Depends on who you are in yourself.
If you are fair to people and respect yourself, there are things you won't take irrespective of if the woman is white or green.

Some white women can be so focused on their pleasure. Which means if she likes to drink and shag, she may shag your friend someday when drunk.
Of course she will be sent packing and you will hopefully not have married her, so her loss.

However you have to really know them before marrying. Know what she is capable of.

This is exactly what will happen if she is black so as a real man, you should dispense and act without favor to her race.

However you will notice that they compromise a lot, and there is less friction with them than with your Nigerian lady

safarigirl:


Most respectful and cultured on average, are the Asians, not white women. You must have never seen them in their element, very entitled bunch.

Make I hear say I bring woman from Nigeria to abroad... Any woman that wants to live with me abroad should better dey find her own way there now.

OGA U F UP SERIOUSLY.... NA D FIRST TIME WOMAN POINT AT ME I DEY DROP ANY PRETENCES TO A RESPONSIBLE MAN.

trust me women love a man they can't push around more

dasparrow:


Why have you always attracted abusive women into your life? Were you raised by a narcissist mother and/or father? I ask this because when one grows up in an abusive home as a child, you tend to subconsciously attract abusive people into your life as an adult because that is your normal. It is what you are accustomed to.

People raised by narcissist parents also tend to be people pleasers and when you are a people pleaser, people will use you as part of their own hustle as you have mentioned. You will have to learn to set boundaries with people.

As for your marital issue, I doubt things are going to get better between you and your wife. Both of you may have to go your separate ways and just co-parent peacefully.

Raising children in a toxic home where both of you argue all the time and cops have to keep coming to the house is not healthy for your kids. Your kids might grow up and choose not to have anything to do with marriage because they saw how awful you and your wife's marriage was. Anyways, all the best.

stupid question from a potential toxic woman



You think all the men married to bad toxic women are bad men I just don't want to read any female comment on this thread at all

007inc:


Be a man, u didn’t handle d situation well at the initial stage.
This is what what u should have done :
Plan a family trip to naija , seize her passport n dump her here. Then get urself a new wife . That woman will eventually kill u.

this is the best advice you can muster up abi ? lmaoooo madness everywhere

LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

Extend it as soon as possible and do it fast.
Is it also possible to sell off all your properties, including house and move back to Nigeria for a while. Don't mention it to ur wife until u have landed in Nigeria. She's doing all that rubbish because divorce favours women abroad. She will get half of all u have especially if u have no solid prove of infidelity on her part. You should have come to Nigeria to file for divorce and not do it over there.

KEEP US UPDATED

fastseo:

Not fake. He probably have a username that is his identity.

I my self has brought up issues here that relates to woman with a new account cos I don't want to mess my account up. You too would do the same someday if u have an embarrassing issue

You don't want people to dig up your vile posts and use it to attack you at your lowest moment. That is why you should always think twice before commenting on a post or engaging in e-fight where people throw away decorum.

tyup:


Sorry bout that man but why would you bring her over in the first place damnn don't tell me you don't know she's like this bfr you decide to bring her over

Besides you should have been buoyant at least to a level bfr you even taught of anything of such

can you see how you've invited a mad man into a house with a finger and can't push him away with 10fingers now? u caused it all man

Can you provide solutions to him rather than remind him of his mistake?

This is why i am pursuing my relocation single though family is on my 35-and-wifeless tail. It is better to arrive single and whatever happens bear it than to import a revenge seeking woman into a place most of us are dying to be in for as long as life permits.

LinLinGentle:


I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP.

Bro.... Police don't usually give advice. They did.... take it. Keep her out indefinitely ... the minute she steps foot in the house... you will be out... whe4her you do or not. Accusation is enough to get you out. On divorce... it is cheaper to keep them. Do not go thru with it. She will get half of what you own... you may have to support her... the kids you may lose... the expense will run you broke. Do not give her that opportunity. Move on... meep her out of the picture .

LinLinGentle:
[b
UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

I'm happy to read this part after the scary introduction. Obviously she's not been acting on her own, most definitely on the advice from friends and family. Because I wonder what kind of a foolish woman would want to cut me off from my family and disturb my peace of mind to the point of depression?

Please for your own sake; your peace of mind and your life; for your children sake, please follow through the process of divorce to make sure she's out of your life, else this kind of being might end up terminating your life for her own good. And once she did, the following day she'd start hosting all sorts of men to your matrimonial bed.

Save yourself.

haha sure buddy.

Mindlog:


You just reminded me of one my patients. Soaking up comments like yours is part of my 9 to 5 job, so it has no effect on me.

Luckymama:
@ OP, a lot of women endure maltreatment from their husbands in Nigeria because they have no choice.......

Same situation you are in. You killed your wife’s feelings for you with your behavior in Nigeria and now she feels she doesn’t need you and so it’s payback time.
........
Secondly, sincerely beg her forgiveness and make efforts to make amends for your behavior. We women are still quite soft. You won her heart once, you can win it again. Set to woo her the way you did before you got married. Hopefully she will forgive and forget and be ready to build a home with you.

And in case it’s a fake story, well men should note that we never forget the maltreatment. We just bide our time. So always treat your woman right.

Ma'am.

I hear you

But there's a way a woman will handle the situation and not escalate things out of proportion..

A wise woman builds her house not tears it down furiously if I must say as demonstrated in this case...

Have we considered the word.. Build... It's not decorate.... not even... repairs...... but builds.. Which shows its an ongoing process, some areas will be nipped and tucked, areas might need replastering or extending

Today's woman wants a Prince charming to do her bidding in a ready castle without enduring the process that goes along.. Kolewerkk!


I'd advice the op even if female in a similar spirit.. When someone who hasn't worked as hard or as long as you've done...... comes along and in a wild disruptive manner wants to destroy a house that took a decade and half to build, in a day or week : the exit is made available ASAP


I've had several colleagues in a similar conundrum..... And it makes for bad viewing observing destroyed potential as well.


.