₦airaland Forum

Divine89:
Hello everybody. I am Nigerian based in France. My English it is not 100% perfect but I will try to make it possible for you to understand me with the help of google french to English translator and my story is also long sorry for that.

When I was 9 years old I joined my uncle, my mum's younger brother in France. He declared me as his daughter. During that time he only had one child, 2 years old. He and the wife were so loving to me. I never lacked anything in their house.

But when I turned 12, I went to secondary school. I met some bad friends there. This is where the problem started.I became a very difficult child. I will go to school come home late. My uncle will beat and beat me but I never listened. I smoked my first cigarette at 12 and had my first sex at 13 and I started running away from home to stay with boyfriends. Sometimes I can go for a week and when uncle reporta me missing, the police will be looking for me, then they will bring me back home.

Then at 14 I went to school and lied to my teacher that my uncle was abusing me. I told them he was beating me with belts, electric wire, they don’t give me foods and I really said a lot of bad things about them doing to me to make my teacher believe my story so they could take me away from them because I wanted freedom and my teacher believed me and reported to the police and child protection, they are people who take away abused children from their parents. They took custody of me and my uncle three children, the youngest was 6 months old to their care and they gave us to this white lady to care for us and my uncle and wife were arrested for child abuse and the police were doing some investigation.

After spending 1yr 9 months in care of the white lady I dropped out school. They found out that I was a difficult child that I lied to get freedom so they have decided to give my uncle his children back to him while I stayed in care of white people but my uncle had sworn because I made him lost his children for 1yr 9 months that I will never found happiness in my life and I will never enjoy the fruit of my labour which it is true as I am typing this.

I have given birth to 6 children by 6 men and none of the children is living with me. The first one was taken away from me at 2 months old because I beat her up and fractured her hands and I also tested positive for heroinn (drugs), so that did not stop me from giving birth second child was removed from my care 4 hours after birth she also tested positive for heroin the same way my other children were removed at birth too so I carry on with my lifestyles. I did not care about my children at that time all I care about was sex, alcohol and drugs this is what I wanted and I have been to prison several times for selling drugs and fraudsters. The longest I have spent in prison was 2 years then after i left prison, I met with this sister who introduced me to this church she attended so I went along with her, the pastor told me to confess my sin to him and promised it will be a secret between I, him and God which I did repented and accepted Jesus as my saviour. To be honest, my life did changed a lot, I fell the peace in my heart , enjoyed going to church every Sunday but this pastor went tell his wife my life story and the wife told everyone in church my life story and started using it against me so it made me so angry that I left the church in November 2017 without looking back. I have decided not to attend any church again. I have stopped alcohol, taking drugs and sleeping with men I no longer do it. I prayed at home, read my bible and behaving good and it's almost 2 years I havnt slept with a man and i went to look for my uncle asking him for forgiveness but he has refused and I send him many text messages begging him to forgive and I still no heard anything from him or the wife even their children I have tried to ask them forgiveness they have blocked me and they all want nothing to do with me even my own parents and siblings in Africa they have rejected me, none of them want to talk to me, my parents said i am dead to them, it is so painful I cry everyday in my prayers, as for my children 4 of them are adopted with new family. I can't see them again maybe until they are 18 years old If they want to know me if they don't want I will have no choice to accept it and my 2 youngest children i am only allowed to see them once a year in a children play centre with someone supervise because they don't let me to be alone with them and soon I will stop visiting them because they are planning to adopt them to a new family too that will mean I will have nobody on this earth.

I regret my mistake so bad I wish I could change it but it will no be impossible. I can't have more children because they will be removed from me like the others and I am only 31years old. I don't know if my repentance was genius because my family has refused to forgive me and my question goes like this if they never forgive me will I ever found happiness again or I will just have to accept it until I died?

Please, advise me in a Christian way maybe if there's more I can do and also prayed for me so my family will be able to forgive me and also pray for my two children that nobody will adopt them so I can get custody of them and i promised to be a good mother to them, please I am begging you in the name of God.

Girl I am still waiting for your reply

Divine89:
Hello everybody. I am Nigerian based in France. My English it is not 100% perfect but I will try to make it possible for you to understand me with the help of google french to English translator and my story is also long sorry for that.

When I was 9 years old I joined my uncle, my mum's younger brother in France. He declared me as his daughter. During that time he only had one child, 2 years old. He and the wife were so loving to me. I never lacked anything in their house.

But when I turned 12, I went to secondary school. I met some bad friends there. This is where the problem started.I became a very difficult child. I will go to school come home late. My uncle will beat and beat me but I never listened. I smoked my first cigarette at 12 and had my first sex at 13 and I started running away from home to stay with boyfriends. Sometimes I can go for a week and when uncle reporta me missing, the police will be looking for me, then they will bring me back home.

Then at 14 I went to school and lied to my teacher that my uncle was abusing me. I told them he was beating me with belts, electric wire, they don’t give me foods and I really said a lot of bad things about them doing to me to make my teacher believe my story so they could take me away from them because I wanted freedom and my teacher believed me and reported to the police and child protection, they are people who take away abused children from their parents. They took custody of me and my uncle three children, the youngest was 6 months old to their care and they gave us to this white lady to care for us and my uncle and wife were arrested for child abuse and the police were doing some investigation.

After spending 1yr 9 months in care of the white lady I dropped out school. They found out that I was a difficult child that I lied to get freedom so they have decided to give my uncle his children back to him while I stayed in care of white people but my uncle had sworn because I made him lost his children for 1yr 9 months that I will never found happiness in my life and I will never enjoy the fruit of my labour which it is true as I am typing this.

I have given birth to 6 children by 6 men and none of the children is living with me. The first one was taken away from me at 2 months old because I beat her up and fractured her hands and I also tested positive for heroinn (drugs), so that did not stop me from giving birth second child was removed from my care 4 hours after birth she also tested positive for heroin the same way my other children were removed at birth too so I carry on with my lifestyles. I did not care about my children at that time all I care about was sex, alcohol and drugs this is what I wanted and I have been to prison several times for selling drugs and fraudsters. The longest I have spent in prison was 2 years then after i left prison, I met with this sister who introduced me to this church she attended so I went along with her, the pastor told me to confess my sin to him and promised it will be a secret between I, him and God which I did repented and accepted Jesus as my saviour. To be honest, my life did changed a lot, I fell the peace in my heart , enjoyed going to church every Sunday but this pastor went tell his wife my life story and the wife told everyone in church my life story and started using it against me so it made me so angry that I left the church in November 2017 without looking back. I have decided not to attend any church again. I have stopped alcohol, taking drugs and sleeping with men I no longer do it. I prayed at home, read my bible and behaving good and it's almost 2 years I havnt slept with a man and i went to look for my uncle asking him for forgiveness but he has refused and I send him many text messages begging him to forgive and I still no heard anything from him or the wife even their children I have tried to ask them forgiveness they have blocked me and they all want nothing to do with me even my own parents and siblings in Africa they have rejected me, none of them want to talk to me, my parents said i am dead to them, it is so painful I cry everyday in my prayers, as for my children 4 of them are adopted with new family. I can't see them again maybe until they are 18 years old If they want to know me if they don't want I will have no choice to accept it and my 2 youngest children i am only allowed to see them once a year in a children play centre with someone supervise because they don't let me to be alone with them and soon I will stop visiting them because they are planning to adopt them to a new family too that will mean I will have nobody on this earth.

I regret my mistake so bad I wish I could change it but it will no be impossible. I can't have more children because they will be removed from me like the others and I am only 31years old. I don't know if my repentance was genius because my family has refused to forgive me and my question goes like this if they never forgive me will I ever found happiness again or I will just have to accept it until I died?

Please, advise me in a Christian way maybe if there's more I can do and also prayed for me so my family will be able to forgive me and also pray for my two children that nobody will adopt them so I can get custody of them and i promised to be a good mother to them, please I am begging you in the name of God.

whaoh! That was some horror you made your uncle and his family go through. Your begging can not change their minds. It will take the master himself to minister to their souls. Let it be. If there is a system to file case to get your two younger kids back, try that. You need to be going to church. You could relocate to another city. start a new life. Leave the rest to God. May light of God shines on your path. May he guide you through the rest of your journey in life. Amen!

@ op, I'll like you to know that God loves you dearly and that He cares so much about you. You are born again today because He arranged for it to be so otherwise you would have continued wallowing in your sins and die a sinner.

You don't have everything you seek right now but l want you to trust God because you will have them all. The Bible says the heart of kings are in God's hands and He can turn their hearts to whatever direction He chooses, God can make your family forgive you and you can have back your children. Just trust God. That it has not happened now does not mean it will not happen. You have asked God for forgiveness, believe and receive His forgiveness, it's a blood bought forgiveness, there is nothing you can do to earn His forgiveness other than to ask believe and receive.

It's very good that you have asked the forgiveness of your uncle and family. I want you to believe with me that at the end of all these you will have cause to glorify the name of the Lord. How He will do it? We don't know. I pray for you today and l declare that the Lord who has begun a good thing in your life will finish it in Jesus name.

Sorry for this but I believe their is a solution.. keep your hope alive ..u can call or chat me up 08094467959

Hmmm!! This is really pathetic. My little advice is to relocate to other country and start a new life. At 31 u are you still young but make sure u don't go back to your old life. Relocate to a new country if you're financially capable

inbox me let me.take to privately may God. be wit.u

Look for Gbenga Wemimo on Twitter. GOD is using him well to minister to persons in related or even worse issues. Dear, GOD still loves you so much, you have done all what a woman can, let GOD take it up from here.

Philmoore20:
Hmmm!! This is really pathetic. My little advice is to relocate to other country and start a new life. At 31 u are you still young but make sure u don't go back to your old life. Relocate to a new country if you're financially capable

Right now is impossible for me to relocate because if I do ,I won’t be able to see my 2 youngest children anymore. I don’t want to loose the opportunity. Thank you

Hormore9ja:
Look for Gbenga Wemimo on Twitter. GOD is using him well to minister to persons in related or even worse issues. Dear, GOD still loves you so much, you have done all what a woman can, let GOD take it up from here.

Thank you i don’t have a twitter account , is he on Instagram or Facebook ?

the most essential part is that God have forgiven you,
you have dropped your former life and now you're a new creature .. you still need to push harder for your family and uncle to forgive you and bless you for you to get back your own children back, woman you're just 31 and u have a lot of life ahead of you , don't give up on your family,uncle and your children .
I pray GOD keep on strengthen you till you're at peace with everyone in your life

Divine89:
Hello everybody. I am Nigerian based in France. My English it is not 100% perfect but I will try to make it possible for you to understand me with the help of google french to English translator and my story is also long sorry for that.

When I was 9 years old I joined my uncle, my mum's younger brother in France. He declared me as his daughter. During that time he only had one child, 2 years old. He and the wife were so loving to me. I never lacked anything in their house.

But when I turned 12, I went to secondary school. I met some bad friends there. This is where the problem started.I became a very difficult child. I will go to school come home late. My uncle will beat and beat me but I never listened. I smoked my first cigarette at 12 and had my first sex at 13 and I started running away from home to stay with boyfriends. Sometimes I can go for a week and when uncle reporta me missing, the police will be looking for me, then they will bring me back home.

Then at 14 I went to school and lied to my teacher that my uncle was abusing me. I told them he was beating me with belts, electric wire, they don’t give me foods and I really said a lot of bad things about them doing to me to make my teacher believe my story so they could take me away from them because I wanted freedom and my teacher believed me and reported to the police and child protection, they are people who take away abused children from their parents. They took custody of me and my uncle three children, the youngest was 6 months old to their care and they gave us to this white lady to care for us and my uncle and wife were arrested for child abuse and the police were doing some investigation.

After spending 1yr 9 months in care of the white lady I dropped out school. They found out that I was a difficult child that I lied to get freedom so they have decided to give my uncle his children back to him while I stayed in care of white people but my uncle had sworn because I made him lost his children for 1yr 9 months that I will never found happiness in my life and I will never enjoy the fruit of my labour which it is true as I am typing this.

I have given birth to 6 children by 6 men and none of the children is living with me. The first one was taken away from me at 2 months old because I beat her up and fractured her hands and I also tested positive for heroinn (drugs), so that did not stop me from giving birth second child was removed from my care 4 hours after birth she also tested positive for heroin the same way my other children were removed at birth too so I carry on with my lifestyles. I did not care about my children at that time all I care about was sex, alcohol and drugs this is what I wanted and I have been to prison several times for selling drugs and fraudsters. The longest I have spent in prison was 2 years then after i left prison, I met with this sister who introduced me to this church she attended so I went along with her, the pastor told me to confess my sin to him and promised it will be a secret between I, him and God which I did repented and accepted Jesus as my saviour. To be honest, my life did changed a lot, I fell the peace in my heart , enjoyed going to church every Sunday but this pastor went tell his wife my life story and the wife told everyone in church my life story and started using it against me so it made me so angry that I left the church in November 2017 without looking back. I have decided not to attend any church again. I have stopped alcohol, taking drugs and sleeping with men I no longer do it. I prayed at home, read my bible and behaving good and it's almost 2 years I havnt slept with a man and i went to look for my uncle asking him for forgiveness but he has refused and I send him many text messages begging him to forgive and I still no heard anything from him or the wife even their children I have tried to ask them forgiveness they have blocked me and they all want nothing to do with me even my own parents and siblings in Africa they have rejected me, none of them want to talk to me, my parents said i am dead to them, it is so painful I cry everyday in my prayers, as for my children 4 of them are adopted with new family. I can't see them again maybe until they are 18 years old If they want to know me if they don't want I will have no choice to accept it and my 2 youngest children i am only allowed to see them once a year in a children play centre with someone supervise because they don't let me to be alone with them and soon I will stop visiting them because they are planning to adopt them to a new family too that will mean I will have nobody on this earth.

I regret my mistake so bad I wish I could change it but it will no be impossible. I can't have more children because they will be removed from me like the others and I am only 31years old. I don't know if my repentance was genius because my family has refused to forgive me and my question goes like this if they never forgive me will I ever found happiness again or I will just have to accept it until I died?

Please, advise me in a Christian way maybe if there's more I can do and also prayed for me so my family will be able to forgive me and also pray for my two children that nobody will adopt them so I can get custody of them and i promised to be a good mother to them, please I am begging you in the name of God.

hi,
You asked that you be advised in a Christian way and that is what I will now do.

I also urge you to check up the cited scriptures in a French Bible. This will enable you to understand it better

First and foremost, the Bible says "regarding whatever our hearts may condemn us in because God is greater than our hearts and knows all things" (1 John 3:20).

What do you understand by that verse? You are a parent filled with motherly feelings(forget your past mistakes). If a child commits an offense, will you as a parent not have a better understanding of that offense than the child. Yes, you will

Yes, you made mistakes but you were young and naive. You were also experiencing the period the Bible calls "the Bloom of Youth", the time in our lives we want to taste and experience life. The time of life between childhood and maturity. ( Read 1 Corinthians 7:36)

God is merciful and forgiving. To know how forgiving God is, read the following Bible verses: Psalms 103:8-14, Isaiah 1:16-18). Isaiah 1:18 says "if your sins are red like crimson cloth, they will become like cotton".

What does that mean to you? I'm glad you're French and therefore familiar with red wine. Imagine something moving from the color of red wine to becoming white as cotton? Is that not a massive change? It is. That means God will wipe off our sins if we are truly repentant.

You can also read up about the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32. It is also very enlightening. Please read it in your French Bible before continuing.

Can you see that in the story when his father caught sight of him far off, his father took pity on him and ran to him and embraced him? His father saw him from a far distance and took pity on him! He not only took pity, but he also ran to meet him and embraced him.

Who do you think that father represents? Yes, our father in heaven.

Can you also see in the story that the man had a brother who did not forgive him? Who do you think that brother represents? Self-righteous people who find it hard to forgive the sins of others despite God forgiving them their own sins and others. Have you met people like that?

If you're truly repentant, God has forgiven you your sins (Read Proverbs 28:13)

What about your family? You need their forgiveness but if they refuse to forgive you, what do you do? Remember the case of the prodigal son, did his older brother show the same forgiving spirit as his father or was he bitter and angry? He was bitter and resentful. He did not understand what it meant to be merciful and forgiving. Was the father happy or unhappy about the older brother's attitude? Let how God feels guide you and not that of men. People today are no better than the older brother (Read Luke 15:1-10)

If you have tried your best seeking forgiveness and it is not forthcoming, the Bible urges us to move on. I would advise you to do that.

How do you move forward? If you want to find happiness in life, do you know the best advice to take? It is not by receiving things but by giving (Read Acts 20:35)

Find meaning in life by being helpful to people. Find old people you can be friends with and help out in their homes. Join charities that provide help to the less fortunate and so on. Or give food to stray cats and dogs.

The biggest advice I can give you now to come and know your heavenly Father better. The little I have shown you from the Bible is just a very very small part of who he really is. If you want to get to know more about our heavenly father who can never abandon us, visit https://www.jw.org/en/ and request for a free online Bible course. It will be the best decision you will ever make.

Do you also need brothers and sisters? Please join Jehovah's Witnesses at their meetings. They show the same spirit as our heavenly father in forgiving. Where do you think I learned to write what I am typing top you? It was from them I learned to type what I am sending to you. The congregation will be like brothers and sisters to you. You see all sorts there from single mums, former drug addicts, alcoholics, robbers, adulterers, and so on who have changed and have been accepted into the congregation (Read 1 Cor 6-9-11). Many are now even elders and regular pioneers in the congregation and taking the lead.

At www.jw.org, find the nearest congregation to you. You will really appreciate it. When they commence meetings after the lockdown, you can join them.

If you appreciate and find what I wrote useful, please apply it and let me know.

There might be a way to get your uncle to forgive you. Get back to me first.

May Jehovah God be with you.

eyinjuege:
I will try not to abuse you further but that is really going to be hard because you're a child abuser and no child is safe with you.
Imagine fracturing the hand of a 2 month old child. You're actually one of the dregs of the society .
Now with that out of the way, what program can you do to get back on the right path? I know you've stopped your drug use, but who would believe you?
Why not join an addiction program for support and tell them where you are in your journey, as you've stopped all these and how can they help you build your life back together.
You need to get a job or go back to school and show a level of seriousness and commitment in your journey before others can start believing you're a changed person.
If you're on benefits, get a proper job and also get legal counsel. There will probably be some free lawyers who can help you.
Get a stable partner or husband, show them that you're clean with regular drug tests, show them you can manage to put your life together and function with a job, let them see you've had therapy and perhaps if you get pregnant again with a steady partner ready to be in his child's life, you may not lose your children again.

Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging!(Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)
Stop judging! (Read Matthew 7:1-4)

cc: divine89

Divine89:
Hello everybody. I am Nigerian based in France. My English it is not 100% perfect but I will try to make it possible for you to understand me with the help of google french to English translator and my story is also long sorry for that.

When I was 9 years old I joined my uncle, my mum's younger brother in France. He declared me as his daughter. During that time he only had one child, 2 years old. He and the wife were so loving to me. I never lacked anything in their house.

But when I turned 12, I went to secondary school. I met some bad friends there. This is where the problem started.I became a very difficult child. I will go to school come home late. My uncle will beat and beat me but I never listened. I smoked my first cigarette at 12 and had my first sex at 13 and I started running away from home to stay with boyfriends. Sometimes I can go for a week and when uncle reporta me missing, the police will be looking for me, then they will bring me back home.

Then at 14 I went to school and lied to my teacher that my uncle was abusing me. I told them he was beating me with belts, electric wire, they don’t give me foods and I really said a lot of bad things about them doing to me to make my teacher believe my story so they could take me away from them because I wanted freedom and my teacher believed me and reported to the police and child protection, they are people who take away abused children from their parents. They took custody of me and my uncle three children, the youngest was 6 months old to their care and they gave us to this white lady to care for us and my uncle and wife were arrested for child abuse and the police were doing some investigation.

After spending 1yr 9 months in care of the white lady I dropped out school. They found out that I was a difficult child that I lied to get freedom so they have decided to give my uncle his children back to him while I stayed in care of white people but my uncle had sworn because I made him lost his children for 1yr 9 months that I will never found happiness in my life and I will never enjoy the fruit of my labour which it is true as I am typing this.

I have given birth to 6 children by 6 men and none of the children is living with me. The first one was taken away from me at 2 months old because I beat her up and fractured her hands and I also tested positive for heroinn (drugs), so that did not stop me from giving birth second child was removed from my care 4 hours after birth she also tested positive for heroin the same way my other children were removed at birth too so I carry on with my lifestyles. I did not care about my children at that time all I care about was sex, alcohol and drugs this is what I wanted and I have been to prison several times for selling drugs and fraudsters. The longest I have spent in prison was 2 years then after i left prison, I met with this sister who introduced me to this church she attended so I went along with her, the pastor told me to confess my sin to him and promised it will be a secret between I, him and God which I did repented and accepted Jesus as my saviour. To be honest, my life did changed a lot, I fell the peace in my heart , enjoyed going to church every Sunday but this pastor went tell his wife my life story and the wife told everyone in church my life story and started using it against me so it made me so angry that I left the church in November 2017 without looking back. I have decided not to attend any church again. I have stopped alcohol, taking drugs and sleeping with men I no longer do it. I prayed at home, read my bible and behaving good and it's almost 2 years I havnt slept with a man and i went to look for my uncle asking him for forgiveness but he has refused and I send him many text messages begging him to forgive and I still no heard anything from him or the wife even their children I have tried to ask them forgiveness they have blocked me and they all want nothing to do with me even my own parents and siblings in Africa they have rejected me, none of them want to talk to me, my parents said i am dead to them, it is so painful I cry everyday in my prayers, as for my children 4 of them are adopted with new family. I can't see them again maybe until they are 18 years old If they want to know me if they don't want I will have no choice to accept it and my 2 youngest children i am only allowed to see them once a year in a children play centre with someone supervise because they don't let me to be alone with them and soon I will stop visiting them because they are planning to adopt them to a new family too that will mean I will have nobody on this earth.

I regret my mistake so bad I wish I could change it but it will no be impossible. I can't have more children because they will be removed from me like the others and I am only 31years old. I don't know if my repentance was genius because my family has refused to forgive me and my question goes like this if they never forgive me will I ever found happiness again or I will just have to accept it until I died?

Please, advise me in a Christian way maybe if there's more I can do and also prayed for me so my family will be able to forgive me and also pray for my two children that nobody will adopt them so I can get custody of them and i promised to be a good mother to them, please I am begging you in the name of God.

Please pray and ask God to direct you to a new church. You need other believers around to build and strengthen your faith. Don't let one bad experience prevent you from having the love of true genuine Christians around.

Pray and ask God for guidance.


Also, please keep building your faith. Read good Christian books and listen to messages on YouTube from pastors like T D Jakes, Myles Munroe and Paula White


I pray that the good Lord will heal and restore your life, and also restore your children.


You didn't go through all this for nothing. God will use you greatly for His kingdom. He will bring beauty out of the ashes of your life.

God bless you sister

Divine89:
My children are in the custody of the french authorities, according to them I will never have custody of them till they reach 18 years old because I am an unfit mother. only God grace can help me to have them back. Thank you

There's a book you should read. Covenant Child by Terri Blackstock. A novel. Read it, it will help, especially with your kids

Divine89:
Hello everybody. I am Nigerian based in France. My English it is not 100% perfect but I will try to make it possible for you to understand me with the help of google french to English translator and my story is also long sorry for that.

When I was 9 years old I joined my uncle, my mum's younger brother in France. He declared me as his daughter. During that time he only had one child, 2 years old. He and the wife were so loving to me. I never lacked anything in their house.

But when I turned 12, I went to secondary school. I met some bad friends there. This is where the problem started.I became a very difficult child. I will go to school come home late. My uncle will beat and beat me but I never listened. I smoked my first cigarette at 12 and had my first sex at 13 and I started running away from home to stay with boyfriends. Sometimes I can go for a week and when uncle reporta me missing, the police will be looking for me, then they will bring me back home.

Then at 14 I went to school and lied to my teacher that my uncle was abusing me. I told them he was beating me with belts, electric wire, they don’t give me foods and I really said a lot of bad things about them doing to me to make my teacher believe my story so they could take me away from them because I wanted freedom and my teacher believed me and reported to the police and child protection, they are people who take away abused children from their parents. They took custody of me and my uncle three children, the youngest was 6 months old to their care and they gave us to this white lady to care for us and my uncle and wife were arrested for child abuse and the police were doing some investigation.

After spending 1yr 9 months in care of the white lady I dropped out school. They found out that I was a difficult child that I lied to get freedom so they have decided to give my uncle his children back to him while I stayed in care of white people but my uncle had sworn because I made him lost his children for 1yr 9 months that I will never found happiness in my life and I will never enjoy the fruit of my labour which it is true as I am typing this.

I have given birth to 6 children by 6 men and none of the children is living with me. The first one was taken away from me at 2 months old because I beat her up and fractured her hands and I also tested positive for heroinn (drugs), so that did not stop me from giving birth second child was removed from my care 4 hours after birth she also tested positive for heroin the same way my other children were removed at birth too so I carry on with my lifestyles. I did not care about my children at that time all I care about was sex, alcohol and drugs this is what I wanted and I have been to prison several times for selling drugs and fraudsters. The longest I have spent in prison was 2 years then after i left prison, I met with this sister who introduced me to this church she attended so I went along with her, the pastor told me to confess my sin to him and promised it will be a secret between I, him and God which I did repented and accepted Jesus as my saviour. To be honest, my life did changed a lot, I fell the peace in my heart , enjoyed going to church every Sunday but this pastor went tell his wife my life story and the wife told everyone in church my life story and started using it against me so it made me so angry that I left the church in November 2017 without looking back. I have decided not to attend any church again. I have stopped alcohol, taking drugs and sleeping with men I no longer do it. I prayed at home, read my bible and behaving good and it's almost 2 years I havnt slept with a man and i went to look for my uncle asking him for forgiveness but he has refused and I send him many text messages begging him to forgive and I still no heard anything from him or the wife even their children I have tried to ask them forgiveness they have blocked me and they all want nothing to do with me even my own parents and siblings in Africa they have rejected me, none of them want to talk to me, my parents said i am dead to them, it is so painful I cry everyday in my prayers, as for my children 4 of them are adopted with new family. I can't see them again maybe until they are 18 years old If they want to know me if they don't want I will have no choice to accept it and my 2 youngest children i am only allowed to see them once a year in a children play centre with someone supervise because they don't let me to be alone with them and soon I will stop visiting them because they are planning to adopt them to a new family too that will mean I will have nobody on this earth.

I regret my mistake so bad I wish I could change it but it will no be impossible. I can't have more children because they will be removed from me like the others and I am only 31years old. I don't know if my repentance was genius because my family has refused to forgive me and my question goes like this if they never forgive me will I ever found happiness again or I will just have to accept it until I died?

Please, advise me in a Christian way maybe if there's more I can do and also prayed for me so my family will be able to forgive me and also pray for my two children that nobody will adopt them so I can get custody of them and i promised to be a good mother to them, please I am begging you in the name of God.

I'll go straight to the point, since you're now in Christ old things are passed away, you're a new creature, move somewhere else socialize with brethren in the faith then you'll find your destiny, do not be ashamed of your past, whoever God permit to be in your life let the person know about your past, your past will still come hunting for you be bold and face knowing God has forgiven you. Focus on yourself let your family be for the time, they will seek for you.

I would suggest you see the Movie Overcomer too. Anyone can make mistakes dear, she has acknowledged it and that's a great step.
Movie Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGyieGVn4P4

mysweetsunshine:
My dear!

Trust me I haven't. Sometimes you need tough love to excel. She should stay away from those children and let undiluted love raise them. I don't need your prayers and I believe people should take responsibilities for their actions. What else does she want from those kids, has she invested her time to something meaningful, what has she learned in life to give those kids?
My friend...this is reality. She should stay away from those children and go find herself instead of bringing back old memories. Everyone was created with common sense and suddenly people misbehave for centuries and suddenly embrace reality, thereafter, they want the love they never gave, they want forgiveness and christ to erase all the blemishes from the heart of torn hearts. So save your prayers and embrace tough love.

It such as a pathetic stories. But if it actually true that you have repented , then there is hope for you. The Bible says that it is only those that are alive that have hope. I will advice you to look for living Church and worship God, you don't need to tell Pastor or anybody your stories again, since you have shared with God through your confession and repentance. Then , there is an assurance that God has forgiving you. With the mouth confession is made unto Salvation ..Rom 10:10. Thank God, you have a job that can keep you busy and make you focus. All you need now is to fully dedicated your life to Christ and gradually God will reconcile you back to your Uncle, Children and your family in Nigeria. I believe that there is an assignment God have for you, that is the reason for making you go through this stage. You will finish strong and have great testimonies to share, especially with those doing same thing now. The Lord will be Merciful.

The Lord Jesus will do wonders. Don't give up. I tell you. You are on the right track. Holla if you can:
pumps8577@gmail.com

I've seen deeper things. Trust me. I've seen God do wonders in my life.

This is what the Bible meant when it said the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy.
But all thanks to God that His mercy found you otherwise you could have died in that wayward way, and not even have the opportunity of soberness and repentance that you have now.

I will advice you to keep being with God. Pray to Him, tell Him in your moment of quietness to really help you out, and show to you that he can restore a lost person like he did to the prodigal son.

Never let the sad moments and depression drive you back into drugs, men, alcohol. Those are signs and ways of hopelessness.

People will always be who they are. Forgive the pastor that betrayed your trust and move on.

You will still need to seek either a good counselor, a respected confidant or even a pastor to guide you along. You will need the help of people, you can't go it alone. I know trusting people may be hard but then no one can live in silo...

I pray that you find more of God's mercy. His mercy still abounds... All is not lost. Just remain faithful, don't go back into the way of the world and be patient and hopeful in prayer and reading the word of God.
Engage in positive confessions too. Never dwell on negative thoughts in your mind

God bless you

Divine89:
Thank you i don’t have a twitter account , is he on Instagram or Facebook ?

Be careful. You are depressed now and some participants here are scammers, they want to use a weak vulnerable woman offering help, marrying you and moving to France, they will lie to you, use and abuse you. Don't contact anybody from here, even any church, so many fakes fishing for women from developed countries.

Her family already forgave her, God already forgave her but she wants to get close to them again. All of them don't want the danger and toxic person like OP close to them again, specially close to the children. Nobody wants the same pain again, they are taking care of their families, it's natural.
OP needs to stop contacting them and insisting, leave them alone. What do you want from them? They gave you good life and good possibilities. Do you want from them something again? Your family can forgive you but they don't trust you and they never will after what you did to your uncle children.

Please try all your very best to get those kids together at least know them,Let them know you’re their biological mother please.
Forget about asking for forgiveness now
Just get your kids together,they’re your only hope and future.Please pray to God and front your uncle and your family to forgive you.

Forgive the pastor and his wife and go back to church, you are expecting forgiveness but you have not forgiven ur pastor for his own mistake.
The pastor's wife messed up but try to forgive her and free ur mind. If u bring ur offering to the Altar and therefore remember that u have ought against ur broda leave ur offering at the Altar, first go and reconcile with ur broda then come back and give ur offering.

hermesprogidy:
Free from what exactly? She has asked for forgiveness and should move on. That her uncle forgives her or not is inconsequential. She is only guilt-tripping by seeking her uncle's forgiveness. She is her own problem. Seeking her Uncle's forgiveness is a bit selfish if you ask me. As a father, what she did is unforgivable but I do not agree that her life well being depends on her Uncle's forgiveness.

If you don't know what is "karma". Then I will tell you it is a natural law. Do unto others what you expect to be done unto you... She lied against her uncle and it led to her uncle be denied of his children for 1yr 9mths. So now what do you think is happening to her right now... I tell you verily verily check what those who have committed crime against their fellow being and tell me if they don't reap it... Is just that a lot of people forget as the years goes by. Let me give you a good example.. IBB is alive to reap what is has done to Dele Giwa and Vasta (his best friend) ..first he witnessed his wife dying from painful cancer and right now his confined to a wheelchair..

West2019:
inbox me let me.take to privately may God. be wit.u

inbox you ko...

Tyroonpascal:
Sorry for this but I believe their is a solution.. keep your hope alive ..u can call or chat me up 08094467959

no you can't get any chat.. Talk am here

RiseAbove:
Forgive the pastor and his wife and go back to church, you are expecting forgiveness but you have not forgiven ur pastor for his own mistake.
The pastor's wife messed up but try to forgive her and free ur mind. If u bring ur offering to the Altar and therefore remember that u have ought against ur broda leave ur offering at the Altar, first go and reconcile with ur broda then come back and give ur offering.

I have forgiven him I don’t have any problem with him or his wife , but I prefer to pray in my house because I am the church and not the building. I am living a godly life and my offering I give to the poor people. Thank you

SmartKitty:
Be careful. You are depressed now and some participants here are scammers, they want to use a weak vulnerable woman offering help, marrying you and moving to France, they will lie to you, use and abuse you. Don't contact anybody from here, even any church, so many fakes fishing for women from developed countries.

Lol I am very clever I will not fell in their trap
I have been an ex thief in the past and nobody can fool me here. I am here for advice and I will not go far with anyone here like giving my contact numbers it is a no. Thank you

Your uncle must forgive you and God can still visit you for restoration.
Join a church again or speak to another pastor by the leading of your spirit.
Then locate your uncle's pastor and connect with him or her. Let there be a way way of connection between you, your pastor on one side and your uncle and his pastor. This will create an avenue for an irresistible reconciliation. God will help you. Christianity is all about reconciliation.

Congratulations Hantie

stormborn28:
inbox you ko...

y you dey look me lyk diz

stormborn28:
If you don't know what is "karma". Then I will tell you it is a natural law. Do unto others what you expect to be done unto you... She lied against her uncle and it led to her uncle be denied of his children for 1yr 9mths. So now what do you think is happening to her right now... I tell you verily verily check what those who have committed crime against their fellow being and tell me if they don't reap it... Is just that a lot of people forget as the years goes by. Let me give you a good example.. IBB is alive to reap what is has done to Dele Giwa and Vasta (his best friend) ..first he witnessed his wife dying from painful cancer and right now his confined to a wheelchair..

Crap.. A load of crap.