Romangalactic:

An openly confessed lovechild either way, and my opinion still stands.

Anyone can groom and nurture a child as good as the biological mother if you pay them to do it. My mother can do it for my child & my sister or relative can do it too, all free of charge even. But financial provision for a child is not something you can outsource to anyone so yes cash is absolutely more important.

When a person thinks that money solves all things, and sees it as an absolute fact, I see no need for a counter response anymore.

ibkayee:


OP reeks of entitlement, it's terrible no matter which gender does it, but OP is using technicalities to dismissively rationalize why one is more 'palatable' and therefore 'acceptable'. A good portion of them have this mindset so whenever they get cheated on or there's paternity fraud, I just...look lol

I won't say there's absolutely no case that I have and will have sympathy for, it's just that whenever a case comes to my attention, empathy is rarely part of my immediate emotional response, knowing how they'd be if the shoe were on the other foot lol

Doesnt still make sense to me. There is nothing like maternity fraud. A woman sure knows shes raising her own child aside the case of hospital mix ups. A man shouldn't be made to believe he is his the father of a child when he isn't.

angelfallz:


Hmmmm interesting.
This is off topic but I'll still ask you;
Do you also have this same mindset when men are:
1. the victims of rape
2. the victims of domestic violence
3. the victims of gender bias

Nope

Kuns84:


Well, perhaps he's been so much bullied and subjugated by females on this forum. So much so that he now suddenly panders to the (f) audience for likes and cheap acceptance.

It's either that or his account has been hacked.. coz the thirst and desperation I sense from his comments doesn't strike me as the same person

Lol,you went so far with this?

Romangalactic:

An openly confessed lovechild either way, and my opinion still stands.

Anyone can groom and nurture a child as good as the biological mother if you pay them to do it. My mother can do it for my child & my sister or relative can do it too, all free of charge even. But financial provision for a child is not something you can outsource to anyone so yes cash is absolutely more important.

stick to your opinion ,I will stick to mine. Have a nice day!

rockstarB:
Because that child is a disruption to the family tree. A married man that has a child with another woman still gets to maintain his DNA through that child, the child is part of the family tree. It is solely up to the wife to decide whether she wants to be a part of the childs life or not, the man can as well raise the kid with the babymama outside his family. He gets to spend his money on his own child and all that daddy duties.
When a married woman cheats and gets pregnant for another man(if she gets caught), that child is automatically a bastard to the family, a disruption to the family tree. His sisters, brothers, uncles and aunts are not his real relatives.
A married woman that has the courage to get pregnant for another man should use same energy to raise the child with the real family.
Except a man wants to genuinely protect the image of the family, such child should be raised in his real family.
Say no to OMO ALE. Only a woman can bring a bastard to the family. A bastard child never comes through a man.

100%

Kingarthur21:
a myopic and sexist gibberish you put up.

No man/woman should be deceived/forced into raising a child from wedlock.
There is no excuse for it,you talk like one from the medieval times.
DNA disruption?family tree?
In the 21st century you are analysing from a sexist lens..

In as much as I hate modern day feminism,I agree it was needed to some extent to put sexist men at bay

If you as a man does not understand the essence of family trees and DNA disruption as you put it, it is a shame.

It is not 21st century gibberish, it is fact.

Kuns84:



Very apt!

Thank you.

Kingarthur21:
my dear,I have dome paternity test for my son,he is my son.

I will do same for all of my kids.
When I find out any of them is not mine,the marriage ends.
I will not also bring a love child home.
That is equity

Expecting my "loyalty" to the end even in cases of pure biasness is what I will not give.


Yourself and kuns84 can rant as you wish or call me names,I don't give a rat ass about your nasty opinions.
I am not here to please you.


In as much as the women of nowadays have failed woefully and are nothing compared to the feminine princesses we once adored. it will be foolish to pretend our present day men are all saints.

In my father's days,ladies were taught to be more chaste and pure,but if accidentally a man got a lady pregnant,he will look for money and pay her dowry. That was seen as a noble deed on the man part and he was praised for it.

Now they are deadbeat dads littered every where,drinking in beer parlour, womanizing while the lady is working her ass out to single handedly raise the child.

No man on this forum will openly call such men out,but they will be the first to run into SM threads and sham single moms.
Even when u.bunja talked of lying to the his baby mama to come over for upkeep just to have sex with her,no man called him out for it. He got several likes for the post.

Men here will mess up,and its innocent white men that will suffer from the lashes of feminism and gynocentrism not the deadbeat dads that are littered over here.

@kuns84,I am not here to please you,you can ignore posts if you wish

Congratulations. At least you're being wise.
If you read my post well you will see I am not being biased. No man or woman should be forced or coarsed into raising a love child.
My point only is that it would be easier for a man to raise a love child in a healthy way outside his marriage(if the wife wont file for divorce cos of that), than a woman. Its reality.

ibkayee:
Imagine what the OP is trying to 'rationalise'...

I generally have no sympathy for Nigerian men who are victims of partnerity fraud, ride on daughters lol

Who suffers most at the end? The product.

bukatyne:


If you as a man does not understand the essence of family trees and DNA disruption as you put it, it is a shame.

It is not 21st century gibberish, it is fact.

Dont mind him. For someone that did a DNA on his own child. If DNA disruption doesnt mean anything to him why did he do a DNA test on his own son?

bukatyne:


If you as a man does not understand the essence of family trees and DNA disruption as you put it, it is a shame.

It is not 21st century gibberish, it is fact.

now I understand why ladies came for your head in the family section.

I dont blame them for it.

Talking of fact . I am a medical doctor,upper year I will be through with my residency and become a surgeon over here in Texas .So dont tell me what is fact and not fact.

rockstarB:

Dont mind him. For someone that did a DNA on his own child. If DNA disruption doesnt mean anything to him why did he do a DNA test on his own son?

stop displaying your ignorance online

Kingarthur21:
my dear,I have dome paternity test for my son,he is my son.

I will do same for all of my kids.
When I find out any of them is not mine,the marriage ends.
I will not also bring a love child home.
That is equity

Expecting my "loyalty" to the end even in cases of pure biasness is what I will not give.


Yourself and kuns84 can rant as you wish or call me names,I don't give a rat ass about your nasty opinions.
I am not here to please you.


In as much as the women of nowadays have failed woefully and are nothing compared to the feminine princesses we once adored. it will be foolish to pretend our present day men are all saints.

In my father's days,ladies were taught to be more chaste and pure,but if accidentally a man got a lady pregnant,he will look for money and pay her dowry. That was seen as a noble deed on the man part and he was praised for it.

Now they are deadbeat dads littered every where,drinking in beer parlour, womanizing while the lady is working her ass out to single handedly raise the child.

No man on this forum will openly call such men out,but they will be the first to run into SM threads and sham single moms.
Even when u.bunja talked of lying to the his baby mama to come over for upkeep just to have sex with her,no man called him out for it. He got several likes for the post.

Men here will mess up,and its innocent white men that will suffer from the lashes of feminism and gynocentrism not the deadbeat dads that are littered over here.

@kuns84,I am not here to please you,you can ignore posts if you wish

Stop being a hypocrite. You do not need to paint all men on this forum bad just because you want to be regarded as the only decent man. Of course, I have always known you to be ubinja's disciple, even before you dropped your old monikers for this new one. Not all men on this forum are hypocrite like you, even though you are now trying so hard to appear decent for whatever hidden aim you have up your sleeve. I hate hypocrites.

Kingarthur21:
we are not talking about deception by the woman here.
We are talking about a woman bringing a kid that is not his and being honest about it(my dear husband,when you were abroad , I made a mistake and I am pregnant ) versus a Man bringing a kid that is not hers.
What is the difference?

No one is comparing paternity fraud with a love child because the former is purely deceit! We are comparing a love child from a man and a love child from a woman(with no deceit).

Why do think one is more tolerable than another?

You are woman(except you are a male behind this moniker),you should know better that raising a child is not just a man dropping money. If a man brings in a love child will the lady not nurture,groom and take care of the child?you think flinging cash is more than bathing a kid thrice a day,watching over the kid feeding the kid,,sleeping with the kid when admitted in the hospital(most men cant do such), changing nappies at night etc

As a single father(I am engaged to the mother of my kid though),he came to spend last Christmas with me,it was hell. He will climb everywhere,put my phone in the toilet,switch on the gas,not to talk of him waking up at night severally..I just couldn't do anything, I was tied down. I realised that taking care of a child is worth more than the money I send monthly for his upkeep.


So please concisely state the difference between a love child from a man and a love child from a woman,if both are honest about it!

I am struggling to understand how your post is in any way connected to mine.

First, I did not mention money in my post; it was very deliberate.
Second, I stated why love children from men are different from love children from women.

By now, you should realize I don't argue theories from thin air or to be woke online.

I have not seen a woman confess about a love child (not one bore before marriage) before. It is either she pins the baby on the husband or aborts it.

Let's even go with your scenario and say a woman confesses a love child while the husband is away for a period of time.

Except you want to be funny, you will acknowledge that the effect of pregnancy on a woman is different from a man.

If the man is back home before she delivers, who will care for her? After she births the baby, who will bear the emotional cost of catering for her and the new born? Who would come to do Omugwo? In which house? Where would the wife nurse the babe? Now talk of the wife getting her body back in shape. Imagine the lover's child left stretch marks on her tummy. So the husband would bear the new body his wife acquired carrying the child of a lover?

Please come back to earth.

As long as a woman bears the responsibility of pregnancy and infant child care, a wife getting pregnant out of an affair WILL ALWAYS BE DIFFERENT from a husband getting a woman pregnant.

Each gender have their 'peculiarities.'

rockstarB:

Congratulations. At least you're being wise.
If you read my post well you will see I am not being biased. No man or woman should be forced or coarsed into raising a love child.
My point only is that it would be easier for a man to raise a love child in a healthy way outside his marriage(if the wife wont file for divorce cos of that), than a woman. Its reality.

I never objected to this,I debunked the Op stance that once he drops money it settles it.
I also debunked the Op stance that motherly grooming,nurturing and affection is lesser than providing money.

I also debunked your stance on family tree and DNA gibberish

You and kuns84 interpreted it in your own way

rockstarB:

Dont mind him. For someone that did a DNA on his own child. If DNA disruption doesnt mean anything to him why did he do a DNA test on his own son?

That is humans for you.

rockstarB:
When a married woman cheats and gets pregnant for another man(if she gets caught), that child is automatically a bastard to the family, a disruption to the family tree. His sisters, brothers, uncles and aunts are not his real relatives.
A married woman that has the courage to get pregnant for another man should use same energy to raise the child with the real family.
Except a man wants to genuinely protect the image of the family, such child should be raised in his real family.
Say no to OMO ALE. Only a woman can bring a bastard to the family. A bastard child never comes through a man.

Looolll so when a man has a child outside his own child is not a ‘bastar**d’ but a woman’s outside child is a ‘bastar***d’??

Also, so you’re saying children with different father but same mother aren’t siblings but children with same father but different mother are siblings??

If the mother drops her outside child with the father is she still welcomed in the marriage?

Lmfao

Kingarthur21:
stop displaying your ignorance online

Stop forming woke either. You called my concept of DNA disruption and family tree archaic, yet you did a DNA test on your child, just to be sure he is truly yours, and he is in no way being a false member of your family tree.
We are on the same side, you can as well say we should both stop displaying our ignorance

Kingarthur21:
now I understand why ladies came for your head in the family section.

I dont blame them for it.

Talking of fact . I am a medical doctor,upper year I will be through with my residency and become a surgeon over here in Texas .So dont tell me what is fact and not fact.

Lol
They didn’t come for her head they did the same thing you’re doing now, quoting their different opinions. That people do on NL in everrry thread.

You can now see how cunning bukatyne is, she totally changed the topic of what the OP is talking about to paternal fraud when she KNOWS the OP is making a case why people should accept an outside child of a man but would tell the husband to divorce the wife if she’s caught with an outside child.

Now she is kikikking with people bullying you for your own opinion.

Kingarthur21:
now I understand why ladies came for your head in the family section.

I dont blame them for it.

Talking of fact . I am a medical doctor,upper year I will be through with my residency and become a surgeon over here in Texas .So dont tell me what is fact and not fact.

What has being a MD got to do with the fact a woman committing paternity fraud disrupts the family tree and DNA of the family?

Goodbye, no time for irrationality.

rockstarB:

Stop forming woke either. You called my concept of DNA disruption and family tree archaic, yet you did a DNA test on your child, just to be sure he is truly yours, and he is in no way being a false member of your family tree.
We are on the same side, you can as well say we should both stop displaying our ignorance

Permit to laugh small.

Jullima:

Looolll so when a man has a child outside his own child is not a ‘bastar**d’ but a woman’s outside child is a ‘bastar***d’??

Also, so you’re saying children with different father but same mother aren’t siblings but children with same father but different mother are siblings??

If the mother drops her outside child with the father is she still welcomed in the marriage?

Lmfao

1) Bastard children are called omo ale where I come from. And it means a child a woman has with her concubine. Bastard children dont come from a man, as long as that child carrys the DNA of the said man, then the child is his blood and not a bastard. Regardless of the woman that has the child for him. If you're yoruba go and ask your elders.
Different cultures have their beliefs about this, but this is my own and I hold on to it.
2)Both cases, the kids are siblings. Half siblings.
3)That is totally up to both partners.

Jullima:

Looolll so when a man has a child outside his own child is not a ‘bastar**d’ but a woman’s outside child is a ‘bastar***d’??

Also, so you’re saying children with different father but same mother aren’t siblings but children with same father but different mother are siblings??

If the mother drops her outside child with the father is she still welcomed in the marriage?

Lmfao

Be realistic, this is Africa where the father gives the child an identity!
It might not matter in other parts of the world, but in Africa, a child who does not know who his father is, not to talk of his family roots, is termed a bastard.

Lmfao at the attempts of people trying to change the topic of the OP to paternity fraud even when the OP has come on the thread to clarify that he meant when it’s open that both cheated and they they both have children from the affairs.

This thread started from another thread, someone asking the OP if he can accept an outside child if his wife cheated and he knows, since he’s asking an OP to accept the children of her husband from another woman.

Changing the topic to something you’re more comfortable talking about or trying to avoid the question of an obvious double standard is funny to see.

Jullima:

Looolll so when a man has a child outside his own child is not a ‘bastar**d’ but a woman’s outside child is a ‘bastar***d’??

Also, so you’re saying children with different father but same mother aren’t siblings but children with same father but different mother are siblings??

If the mother drops her outside child with the father is she still welcomed in the marriage?

Lmfao

Blame the Nigerian culture and religion.

The child answers whose name?
The father.
And here who is the father, def not the woman's husband.
So the child don't belong to the family.

U see baby mamas giving their children the surnames of their baby daddies. Why?
Cos at the right time, the child will get to know his father and become part of him. A woman can't get pregnant by another man while married and make the child bear the name of her husband. If it's known, the real father will come for his child whether the woman want it or not. He don't belong to that family.
Then again, unless there is an agreement e.g., if the man is sterile etc. My culture allows that and the child is protected by the laws of the land.
If it's children before marriage, it's understandable and there is always an agreement before saying i do.
Na our society. It's even more of cultural than religious.

Archaic posts everywhere....

Mariangeles:


Be realistic, this is Africa where the father gives the child an identity!
It might not matter in other parts of the world, but in Africa, a child who does not know who his father is, not to talk of his family roots, is termed a bastard.

What are you typing?? Did you even read what I typed?

The topic is children from known affairs.

The love child of a woman knows his/her father and he isn’t a bastard (he knows his father) because the woman is the cheat.

Stop projecting your archaic culture on the rest of Africa, that your culture would call a love child from a woman a bastard and would not do so from a man is not so for the rest of Nigeria sef not to talk of a whole continent.

sassysure:

Blame the Nigerian culture and religion.

The child answers whose name?
The father.
And here who is the father, def not the woman's husband.
So the child don't belong to the family.

U see baby mamas giving their children the surnames of their baby daddies. Why?
Cos at the right time, the child will get to know his father and become part of him. A woman can't get pregnant by another man while married and make the child bear the name of her husband. If it's known, the real father will come for his child whether the woman want it or not. He don't belong to that family.
Then again, unless there is an agreement e.g., if the man is sterile etc. My culture allows that and the child is protected by the laws of the land.
If it's children before marriage, it's understandable and there is always an agreement before saying i do.
Na our society. It's even more of cultural than religious.

Sassy,

Let's put culture aside and look at nature:

I said this in another post:

Except you want to be funny, you will acknowledge that the effect of pregnancy on a woman is different from a man.

If the man is back home before she delivers, who will care for her? After she births the baby, who will bear the emotional cost of catering for her and the new born? Who would come to do Omugwo? In which house? Where would the wife nurse the babe? Now talk of the wife getting her body back in shape. Imagine the lover's child left stretch marks on her tummy. So the husband would bear the new body his wife acquired carrying the child of a lover?

If we are debating a husband and wife cheating without children involved, that's another discussion.