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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity (7794 Views)
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Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Kuns84(m): 6:22pm On May 24, 2020 |
bukatyne: Very apt! 4 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Kingarthur21: 6:28pm On May 24, 2020 |
bukatyne:we are not talking about deception by the woman here. We are talking about a woman bringing a kid that is not his and being honest about it(my dear husband,when you were abroad , I made a mistake and I am pregnant ) versus a Man bringing a kid that is not hers. What is the difference? No one is comparing paternity fraud with a love child because the former is purely deceit! We are comparing a love child from a man and a love child from a woman(with no deceit). Why do think one is more tolerable than another? You are woman(except you are a male behind this moniker),you should know better that raising a child is not just a man dropping money. If a man brings in a love child will the lady not nurture,groom and take care of the child?you think flinging cash is more than bathing a kid thrice a day,watching over the kid feeding the kid,,sleeping with the kid when admitted in the hospital(most men cant do such), changing nappies at night etc As a single father(I am engaged to the mother of my kid though),he came to spend last Christmas with me,it was hell. He will climb everywhere,put my phone in the toilet,switch on the gas,not to talk of him waking up at night severally..I just couldn't do anything, I was tied down. I realised that taking care of a child is worth more than the money I send monthly for his upkeep. So please concisely state the difference between a love child from a man and a love child from a woman,if both are honest about it! 10 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Kingarthur21: 6:34pm On May 24, 2020 |
Romangalactic:there is no difference between a love child from a man and woman,both invest(however differently). You are comparing paternity fraud with a love child to excuse men infidelity. Why not compare a love child(openly confessed) of a man and also a love child(openly confessed )of a woman... What is the difference? Dont tell me cash please, cash is nothing compared to grooming and nurturing a child 7 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 6:34pm On May 24, 2020 |
Kingarthur21:Didnt you read the part where I said it solely depends on the wife to decide whether she also wants to be in the life of the said love child? Neither the wife nor the husband should be forced. Read my post again. I also said, a man can decide to raise the love child, if he so wishes to. My point is, in case of love child from a man, it is easier for him to raise the child outside his home. His babymama can take care of the child while he supports in a fatherly way. It's not same for a woman. A woman that has a love child in a marriage cannot raise that child with the father of the child while still married to her own husband. At least it wont be that easy. That is the part where paternity fraud comes in 2 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Kingarthur21: 6:35pm On May 24, 2020 |
Kuns84:no one did..the fact I am pro man doesn't mean I should always cheer irresponsible behaviours from some men.I will have daughters some day. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Romangalactic(m): 6:37pm On May 24, 2020 |
descartes400:Thank you bro |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by pansophist(m): 6:40pm On May 24, 2020 |
doitforyou: Perhaps I misunderstood the OP. Thanks for pointing it out. I'll edit it. |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Kuns84(m): 6:41pm On May 24, 2020 |
Kingarthur21: Good for you but I think you're firing all the wrong shots here. Paternity fraud is very much relevant to this discussion. . and as much as it is WRONG, you cannot equate the level of sacrifice, deceit and trauma it brings to a situation where a man has a baby mama on the side! ..Reasons? Well, I don't think I can explain it better than Bukatyne has. 7 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Kingarthur21: 6:46pm On May 24, 2020 |
Kuns84:bro,if you have being reading mynposts on this thread I was not comparing paternity fraud to a man love child. The former is purely deceit and I will advice any man to leave the lady. Except a man marries a single mom or choose to adopt a child he should not be deceived or forced to cater for a child. I was comparing a love child from a female(which she openly confesses from the onset) to the love child of a man(which he also openly confesses) The Op was subtly using "providing cash" as a pass of bringing in love children. Edited: The op said the work of a mother can be done by anyone but a father's work cant be done. Would a sane person type that? 8 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Biglittlelois(f): 6:47pm On May 24, 2020 |
Romangalactic: The entitlement of men though, like everything has to be their way becos of a minute sense of ego which they think is high and over bloated, @first emboldened, no man has the right to bring in the result of infidelity even if he is the only financial provider, this is like saying cheating is a right, or breeding like dogs outside the home is also a right, when you force a wife to accept such, an evil step mother is born, an innocent child will suffer for what isn't it's fault, and an evil wife is born, @ 2nd emboldened, if money is the only important necessity to take care of a child, all kids should be taken from their home and put in a facility since Op thinks parental bond, togetherness, and a homely environment is nothing, and all parents should send monthly payment for their upkeep, since according to Op's opinion(an opinion he decided to air publicly for everyone to read, thereby making some delusional minds that can't think straight, see it as the right thing) it is right, when it can never be right. @3rd emboldened, I don't see anyone forcing a man at gun point to father a child that is not his, he has the option of walking away before attempting to marry the mother, if it is about paternity fraud, that is an entirely different matter. 10 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by ibkayee(f): 6:49pm On May 24, 2020 |
Imagine what the OP is trying to 'rationalise'... I generally have no sympathy for Nigerian men who are victims of partnerity fraud, ride on daughters lol 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 6:52pm On May 24, 2020 |
Kingarthur21:The difference is that the love child of a married man can be healthily raised outside of his home if his wife doesnt agree to raising and nurturing the child like you put up here. Can a woman raise her own love child outside her home if her husband doesnt agree to being a part of the childs life? Will it be easy for her to do that? Especially if the baby daddy isn't all that. Basket mouth has a love child that doesnt live with himself and his wife, they have a good marriage and the kid is doing okay with the babymama. You need to ask yourself why its easier for women to feign paternity fraud rather than come out clean to their husbands. I'm not saying there arent men that would raise love child of their wives tho. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 6:54pm On May 24, 2020 |
ibkayee:It doesnt make sense for any woman to pin a child of mr A on mr B. There is no rationality behind that. It's totally absurd. No man deserves that, at least not without his knowledge 4 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by angelfallz(m): 6:56pm On May 24, 2020 |
ibkayee: Why don't you have sympathy for Nigerian men who are victims of paternity fraud? |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 6:56pm On May 24, 2020 |
Kuns84:Dont mind him. |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Biglittlelois(f): 6:58pm On May 24, 2020 |
DontBullshitMe: Also, imagine waking up to evidence of your husband's infidelity everyday of your life. 7 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 6:59pm On May 24, 2020 |
Kingarthur21:I pray the daughters will be truly yours some daughters of God are already cheering on paternity fraud here. |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Biglittlelois(f): 7:00pm On May 24, 2020 |
pansophist: Nice. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Biglittlelois(f): 7:06pm On May 24, 2020 |
Kingarthur21: I am surprised this is coming from you. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 7:09pm On May 24, 2020 |
Kuns84:Lol He should ask himself why its easier for women to feign paternity fraud instead of coming out clean. Then he will get his answers to the difference between love child of a man and woman 1 Like |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by angelfallz(m): 7:10pm On May 24, 2020 |
Men find it hard to accept children their wives had from infidelity because: 1. It reminds them of said wife's infidelity 2. It is the duty of a father to provide for the needs of his children, so if the child is not his, why should he accept it 3. The child is not a part of the family, ie the child is not his blood. Those are the 3 major reasons I can think of. 1 Like |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 7:10pm On May 24, 2020 |
Wrong post 1 Like |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by ibkayee(f): 7:16pm On May 24, 2020 |
rockstarB: angelfallz:OP reeks of entitlement, it's terrible no matter which gender does it, but OP is using technicalities to dismissively rationalize why one is more 'palatable' and therefore 'acceptable'. A good portion of them have this mindset so whenever they get cheated on or there's paternity fraud, I just...look lol I won't say there's absolutely no case that I have and will have sympathy for, it's just that whenever a case comes to my attention, empathy is rarely part of my immediate emotional response, knowing how they'd be if the shoe were on the other foot lol 12 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Kingarthur21: 7:17pm On May 24, 2020 |
Biglittlelois:ii am not a sexist. I am pro man,but that doesn't mean I will cheer them when they misbehave 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Romangalactic(m): 7:17pm On May 24, 2020 |
Kingarthur21:An openly confessed lovechild either way, and my opinion still stands. Anyone can groom and nurture a child as good as the biological mother if you pay them to do it. My mother can do it for my child & my sister or relative can do it too, all free of charge even. But financial provision for a child is not something you can outsource to anyone so yes cash is absolutely more important. |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Biglittlelois(f): 7:19pm On May 24, 2020 |
rockstarB: So why are you hell bent on making it seem like men don't accept love child when you very well know that some do? 3 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Romangalactic(m): 7:20pm On May 24, 2020 |
angelfallz:Thanks for your concise answers and not attacks on my person. Much respect 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by angelfallz(m): 7:25pm On May 24, 2020 |
ibkayee: Hmmmm interesting. This is off topic but I'll still ask you; Do you also have this same mindset when men are: 1. the victims of rape 2. the victims of domestic violence 3. the victims of gender bias 2 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by angelfallz(m): 7:26pm On May 24, 2020 |
Romangalactic:You're welcome 1 Like |
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