₦airaland Forum

� So U are back to ur senses like this fa? �
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FeliciaOja:
I turned out
Edit:
So please in the name of God stop blaming my mum.
If anything, she is the reason I changed for good before she passed. All that flogging and punishment from my dad made me more stubborn.. it was my mother's soft love that brought me back to my senses. God knows if not for her I would have been worse
Put some respect on her name!!

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

see she has valid points that has been proven over and over again. a parent might not be abusive, but they might be overly protective of their children from outside influence. this kind of children don't develop properly. everybody needs the right mix of exposure and experience about the good and bad in the society.
it's like a child from a wealthy home that has been kept away from dirt and soils too much, such children to not develop the needed immunity for flourishing in all the environment that is out there in the world.
she put it nicely when she said children's curiosity doesn't need to be covered but guided.

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

Oh, funny you. You tell us how you smoked and stupify yourself with all sorta stupidity but skipped how guys also passed you around like a LovePeddler .
You think you are doing me abi.

One thing I've learnt is for both parents to be United in whatever they want to do, be it finance or child training. Not having both parents do that, was what affected you. Your mum's laxity gave you the edge to do what you wanted. Between, you wanted to be just like that.

MrBrownJay1:
it greatly has to do with the type of personality you possess...and most importantly, what interests you. many dont need to drink, party and do drugs etc to rebel against their parents authority. some will simply wear make up, dress in sexy manner, go to places that parents may not like or even listen to music their parent disagree with., to rebel... but at the end of the day, parents only want whats best for you.

you certainly doesnt need to DESTROY your health/life in the name of rebellion, thats stupid and only hurting yourself.

Wisdom galore!!!

crackland:
All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad.

If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with.

Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you?

Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices.

Thank you ,the reason I haven't given up on this forum is because we still have a lot of smart intelligent people like you.

FeliciaOja:
I turned out
Edit:
So please in the name of God stop blaming my mum.
If anything, she is the reason I changed for good before she passed. All that flogging and punishment from my dad made me more stubborn.. it was my mother's soft love that brought me back to my senses. God knows if not for her I would have been worse
Put some respect on her name!!

But your mother's love should have stayed in your mind and kept you from acting wild wen you wer in school and enjoying your newfound "freedom ".

I hope those ur misdeeds don't come back to haunt you in the future.

You are solely responsible for what you turn out to be, let's stop the blame game

aadoiza:
Oh, funny you. You tell us how you smoked and stupify yourself with all sorta stupidity but skipped how guys also passed you around like a LovePeddler .
You think you are doing me abi.

don't mind her


FeliciaOja have you sin the above comments

Lightman300:
We are responsible for our actions, inactions (choices). Blame God, the devil, or your parents all you want, it doesn't change that truth.
Adam told the one who Sustains all things that it was the woman whom He gave him (Adam) that made him sin.But this line of argument availed nothing.
The first king of Israel (the son of Kish) forcefully argued that the people around him made him did what he did.

That's true, I remember Saul, he said the people made me do it, still, God wasn't swayed.

It's foolish to put ones action at d desk of others.

Because your dad is too strict does not mean you will live a wayward life. After all, I passed the same strictness but I did not live a wayward life instead I put God first in my life. Repent

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

You have a very bad spirit of rebellion

Kyom20:
I can totally relate to this. Nigerian parents often make the mistake of trying to force or suppress their kids to be a certain way so as to avoid them making "mistakes". What they fail to realise is making mistakes and learning is part of life.

This then leads to rebellion because often times these children want to have these experiences for themselves. Its just human nature. What i feel is important for children in this situation to understand is that everything should be done in moderation because at the end of the day its still your life, and you would suffer most the consequences of your actions.

@ op, you are normal and i hope you learn from your parents mistakes when training your own kids.

I Hope this article sheds more light
https://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20120223/overly-strict-controlling-parents-risk-raising-delinquent-kids

Modified
I really feel the need to add that people on this forum are very judgemental without even understanding where the poster is coming from.
Did any one read her story at all? Her dad was very strict which led to her having to pretend when at home while being a totally different person when out of the house. Can we really say that is a good thing? Or have we never seen this happen in our society? Do we not see that this parenting skill breeds hypocrisy?

Some are even going as far as judging her. That makes no sense, so many people are mistaking strict parents for disciplinarians. The one thing we need to understand is that strictness often results in rebellion which often shows up on in our society as hypocrisy.

The reason why so many Nigerians are quick to judge but what they do in the secret is most disgusting.

my brother instead of attacking respondent give pple d wisdom of parenting.i don't think u have kids.parenting is a very sensitive area DT need wisdom.guy our kids of nwadays don't greet some will talk to u as if u na be mate some don't knw how to say thank u if u do a kind gesture towards them.nd I heard is worst in d western world.in parenting one needs to be half strict half mentor.there area in children life u need to mentor which are :making Ur children wise in relating with d opposite sex there a series called I need to know DT talk in d 90s starring funke akindele about this area because d problem nwadays sadly is dt we now have a entertainment industry DT promote wayward( sex,drug Nd violence) behaviour,Nd lifestyle in youths Nd teenager DT wat affected op.dt beyond parents control .as parents u need to be strict on one hand Nd be friends to Ur children.for instance if is a boy u as d father need to discipline him on one head esp.if his showing some stubborn behaviour.nd then mentor him to be wise with d opposite sex.bd make him open to u in this social area.by letting him having many female friends instead of one is better because he will fall in love Nd his age is to be confident around d opposite sex Nd wise tried them like side friend or sista but knwd only main friend he has is his mother Nd blood sister because they will b there in hard times.but this I said look easy but requires wisdom o.because nt all kids DT come out frm d womb is d same.

enemyofprogress:
[s]help me find one babe for your church now. I no mind that your pastor's daughter or your choir mistress[/s]

One minute you dey alright, the next minute osogbo weed take over your medulla oblongata.

Ogaonos:
my brother instead of attacking respondent give pple d wisdom of parenting.i don't think u have kids.parenting is a very sensitive area DT need wisdom.guy our kids of nwadays don't greet some will talk to u as if u na be mate.nd I heard is worst in d western world.in parenting one needs to be half strict half mentorship.there area in a children life u need to mentor which are making Ur children wise in relating with d opposite sex there a series called I need to know DT talk in d 90s starring funke akindele about this area.as parents u need to be strict on one hand Nd be friends to Ur children.for instance if is a boy u as d father need to discipline him on one head esp.if his showing some stubborn behaviour.nd then mentor him to be wise with d opposite sex.bd make him open to u in this social area.by letting him having many female friends instead of one is better because he will fall in love Nd his age is to be confident around d opposite sex Nd wise tried them like side friend or sista but knwd only main friend he has is his mother Nd blood sister because they will b there in hard times.but this I said look easy but requires wisdom o.because nt all kids DT come out frm d womb is d same.

The issue with u as with most people on this forum is that they dont try to understand what the poster is talking about. Please read it again.

She never said you shouldn't correct your kids, she simply spoke about how strictness adversely affected her. It is definitely not compulsory for everyone exposed to such to behave the same way but often times we see kids being negatively affected by it.

Please read the article attached to my previous post for more clarification.

You refused to add fùcking dicks like mad

crackland:
All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad.

If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with.

Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you?

Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices.

Sorry sir. I believe you know what you are saying sha. But have you cm across a novel called "purple hibiscus?. It is not fiction. If you actually grew up in a setting where your dad was strict and overbearing. Maybe you might reason with her too.

Your stupidity made you worse

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

....

As a growing child we're are brought up in the watchful eyes of adults giving us corrections either easily or in the hard way this is done so that when we grow into adulthood the sense of right and wrong is rigidly impressed into our subconsciousness.

No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.--Hebrew 12:11

You grow to a point of responsibility and choose to make decision without supervision this can either make or mar you this is were previous training serves as a guide but you rebelled against your own self and not your Dad.

Though I knew less about my mum. I was quite young when she "Lived beyond".

My Dad is is Super Human. I always wonder how he balances being strict and friendly (jovial) and the same time.

My Dad is a keen listener!

He is the first and only person you'd want to share your problems with (even private issues).

He is still the same man you wouldn't want to mess with!

He is a problem solver.

He raised us in such a way, we adhere strictly to his words (far and near).

We are all grown ups now but we all miss his absence.

We disturb him with regular phone call that sometimes he switches his phone off because of too many calls from his children....Lol!!!!

My Dad is my only Best friend.

Whatever qualities I possess today that outsiders admire.....all credit goes to him.

He is my only Role model. But sometimes I wonder if I could be exactly like him.

I really wish to be his son again, if there is a next life.

edoairways:
Their fruit speaks volume especially if you are close to them. You can't pretend to be a behaved child for long

do u knw them wen they are young?? Knw ur sef nt others ,one happen to one big Pastor that i will nt mention d name of d church here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gPdkjUqFGs

Kyom20:
The issue with u as with most people on this forum is that they dont try to understand what the poster is talking about. Please read it again.

She never said you shouldn't correct your kids, she simply spoke about how strictness adversely affected her. It is definitely not compulsory for everyone exposed to such to behave the same way but often times we see kids being negatively affected by it.

Please read the article attached to my previous post for more clarification.

d problem with u is dt u didn't read all of my reply u jux reacting because I quoted u.wat I said is u DT instead of u calling pple hypocrite give us d wisdom of parenting.we all learning here.wat happening to op is d side effect of our entertainment industry who promote sex,drugs to d youth.which most teenagers are expose to.now those who judge op are d ones DT were born in 80s had strict parenting when d entertainment industry wasn't toxic like now.then it was more moral.society.if it was then op wouldnt be DT rebellious.in sch only area children wer rebellious was Wen parent force their children on course to read or who to marry.then I went to explain my own wisdom in parenting by being half strict half mentor or didn't u read DT part abeg go Nd read my reply fully.then u add Ur own contribution to how best to parenting kids in this immoral world will leave in today.because d rate at which campus boys take drugs due to influence of trap music is alarming.nd shagging yahoo boiz is a norm with campus gal.we all be parents Nd our children genratn is going to be worst.nd we all need good parental skills.

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

You were just unreasonable.
There's nothing wrong in being strict as long as it's done with common sense.

No matter the condition or situation,
Some children born to be great and for greatness likewise, some are born to be UNFORTUNATE.
YOU CHOSE YOUR OWN DESTINY.

FeliciaOja:
I turned out
Edit:
So please in the name of God stop blaming my mum.
If anything, she is the reason I changed for good before she passed. All that flogging and punishment from my dad made me more stubborn.. it was my mother's soft love that brought me back to my senses. God knows if not for her I would have been worse
Put some respect on her name!!

If you become worse, it's your problem. No one will live a miserable life with you. As you lay your bed...

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

so you expect your dad to fold his hands and watch you destroy your life . So many people today live with regrets and wish they could turn back the hands of time (only if their parents went the extra mile to take appropriate disciplinary actions )

Efulefu bu Efulefu.......you've got no excuse.

crackland:
All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad.

If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with.

Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you?

Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices.

Perfect response.

Kyom20:
The issue with u as with most people on this forum is that they dont try to understand what the poster is talking about. Please read it again.

She never said you shouldn't correct your kids, she simply spoke about how strictness adversely affected her. It is definitely not compulsory for everyone exposed to such to behave the same way but often times we see kids being negatively affected by it.

Please read the article attached to my previous post for more clarification.

u try to read someone quoting u before u start attacking.u even read my reply at all.u jux like d ones judging DT lady.i attack u nt her.because u nt a parent.parenting is a very sensitive area.nd I went to explain DT one have to b half strict Nd half mentor.because these days children are influence by trap rap music who promote sex,drugs,violence which is what op was expose to.most guys in campus are expose to yahoo Nd drugs by toxic music of nwadays.shagging of yahoo boiz is a norm with campus girls.then I went to explain DT half strict half mentor is d way forward.so my stand is try to educate would-be parents on d wise ways to parent in our immoral world we live in.which most of u don't do u jux take sides Nd don't educate DT why nairaland is becoming too shitty

[s]

Kyom20:
[s][s]I can totally relate to this. Nigerian parents often make the mistake of trying to force or suppress their kids to be a certain way so as to avoid them making "mistakes". What they fail to realise is making mistakes and learning is part of life.

This then leads to rebellion because often times these children want to have these experiences for themselves. Its just human nature. What i feel is important for children in this situation to understand is that everything should be done in moderation because at the end of the day its still your life, and you would suffer most the consequences of your actions.

@ op, you are normal and i hope you learn from your parents mistakes when training your own kids.

I Hope this article sheds more light
https://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20120223/overly-strict-controlling-parents-risk-raising-delinquent-kids

Modified
I really feel the need to add that people on this forum are very judgemental without even understanding where the poster is coming from.
Did any one read her story at all? Her dad was very strict which led to her having to pretend when at home while being a totally different person when out of the house. Can we really say that is a good thing? Or have we never seen this happen in our society? Do we not see that this parenting skill breeds hypocrisy?

Some are even going as far as judging her. That makes no sense, so many people are mistaking strict parents for disciplinarians. The one thing we need to understand is that strictness often results in rebellion which often shows up on in our society as hypocrisy.

The reason why so many Nigerians are quick to judge but what they do in the secret is most disgusting.[/s][/s]

VickyRotex:
One minute you dey alright, the next minute osogbo weed take over your medulla oblongata.

ansa me jare, find one babe for me for church to be my payer partner and spiritual mother

enemyofprogress:
ansa me jare, find one babe for me for church to be my payer partner and spiritual mother

ahn ahn, wetin do sister domi.nique