Onyi22:
B

A

I believe there's a large difference between
Strict, Harsh and Maltreatment
Any body can be strict to maintain a rule of guidelines
Harsh and Maltreatment are other things.
I refrain from vulgar acts because my strictness doesn't allow, but when you blame them for all your ungodliness because they were strict, then my friend you'd blame alot of people for your misfortune.
Maybe that's not the word you wanna use
I thank my folks for being loving, caring, understanding and Very STRICT if not I for don waste

ya right

FeliciaOja:

Ever wonder why pastor children turn out to be worse than their pastor parents?

if my dad was not very very strict on me to the point of trying to burn me alive, I would have died a criminal. Sister, you just wan spoil. Period!!

This your claim doesn't hold water at all. Smoking, drinking et al is a matter of choice.

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

You are just a bad child! Don't use your Dad's strictness to justify your waywardness. Anyway, one day you will have your own kids. I commot hand for your matter.

Reckyd123:
if my dad was not very very strict on me to the point of trying to burn me alive, I would have died a criminal. Sister, you just wan spoil. Period!!

Help me tell her ooh

Drugs, whoring, smoking, partying are all your personal decisions.
There are better ways to explore the world in the midst of good company.
How can you blame your decision to join bad group in university out of curiosity due to your father strictness whose aim was to protect you against such vices.
You get drunk on alcohol you put into your own stomach but blame your dad who is miles away.
Imagine your own kids doing that to you in future

My mum (God bless her soul) was strict and till date there are things I will want to do but remember that she wouldn't have tolerated it and I hold back even as an adult.

I remember the story of the young man who went to an interview as a facility manager in a big oil firm, he desperately needed that high paying job.
On his arrival he saw a water hose spilling water on the floor, he put off the water because his strict father that he hated would have shouted at him for not doing that, he saw a light bulb shining outside in the hot sun and a fan blowing in an empty hall, he put them off while still angry at his father who would have shouted at him if he just walked past.

It continued until it was his turn to meet the interviewers who simply told him that he got the job as there won't be any need for interview because they observed every candidate as they entered from a CCTV camera and non of them did what he did by putting off the wasting water and electrical appliances. His father's strictness gave him the job.

taiocol:


How many bright students do you know sef. You think because a student is bright he/she won't party, smoke or keep bad company? Or is it the same religious people that are specialist in pretence?

Only someone who was/is not serious in school will type such a thing.

crackland:

All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad.

If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with.

Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you?

Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices.

Word

I relate well with what the OP says.

Regardless of personality, if the "strictness" causes you to feel resentment of some kind you are likely to live the curiosity that was dammed up during your raising years.

It is the same effect as doing what you should have done when you were younger at an age where you can because you're free-er or away from stiff parenting.

Your personality serves to regulate at what quantity you wish to taste / experiment / live the life you was delayed

Kids should be guided through the rules set for them, rather than just shut down and micromanaged so they actually know why something is ‘wrong’.

Discipline them with logical consequences for their bad behavior rather than browbeating.

That saying, children need to also take responsibility for their actions though, not all your acts of rebellion are a direct result of your parents.

FeliciaOja:

Ever wonder why pastor children turn out to be worse than their pastor parents?

You think all pastors are CHRISTians? change your mentally, most pastors are just titles, no CHRISTlike and little CHRIST character in them.

crackland:

All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad.

If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with.

Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you?

Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices.

Wisdom wan finish you oh.

LordKO:
Don't mistake strict parents for oppressive parents - offspring of the former always turns out well, especially when the offspring isn't innately insane.

Strict parents do train their offspring to exercise their liberty and live life within the confines of decorum. While oppressive parents do train their offspring to live life within the confine of their self-interest wishes, thereby denying them liberty and, by extension, makes them disingenuous.

Pseudo/wannabe libertarian parents, on the other hand, usually turn out to breed crass and expedient offspring, because in the cause of forming woke they allow their offspring to live life and exercise their liberty on the periphery of decorum.

Strict parents are literally the true libertarians - strict parents are akin to conscientious parents.

This right here is one of the finest comments on this topic.
You just said everything in my mind regarding her insinuations.
Wish I could like it 1000 times.

I did some of those things you listed above but my parents weren't strict. It was by my personal decisions & the kind of friends I came across at that moment of my life.


What I am driving out is the fact that you did all those doesn't mean it was due to your parents strictness, it's all because of your personal decisions. You can't tell me your siblings all turned out same way you did. I have a couple of friends from homes whose father's are pastors and they went to school and turned into something else starting from their first year in school and I still have those who are the same both home and in school. It's about your decisions on which part is good for you. If your dad wasn't strict and you still wanted to do all those, you would still.there are guys from homes whose parents are all caring and not strict rather understanding yet they turned out to be nothing to write home about.

Abeg leave long talk. You just wasted the poor man's efforts. You decided to get spoilt.

You're just looking for an excuse to justify your wrong deeds
FeliciaOja

Madam you chose to be a bad child. I bet my dad was more strict but I personally wanted to stay away from bad company or at least, repel their influence.

FeliciaOja:
[s]It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..[/s]

Your father used wisdom but you're too stupid to understand. Caging a wild beast is wisdom. He caged you because he saw you had the tendency to turn to a wild crackhead olosho, and then you get a little taste of freedom and what do you do with it? You proved your father was right to have caged you like a beast. What a nonsense child. Shove your dumb advice down ur slobbery throat. Nobody needs advice from a dumb junkie. Na your type dem dey use do prayer point for crusade wen pastor go shout, "Oh God don't give me a foolish wayward child, oya open your mouth n pray, shout an talk to God, praayyyy....

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

But you didn't tell us how many times you did an abortion.

There's no excuse for waywardness, it's in the heart already

crackland:

All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad.

If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with.

Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you?

Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices.

Imagine how them dudes must have ploughed her like a tractor . Set awon borehole

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

You can't blame your parents. Maybe you could have turned out worse. Trust me your parents did the best for you. Am sure when you get yours you'll appreciate them more.
We are all wired distinctly so we react to freedom different ways. Person wey go bad go bad if you like make e grow for heaven. We only hope for the best in life, from our children also. I can't kee masef for anybody walahi

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

The shitiest excuse of the century

You chose to live that way plus the territorial energy of the University environment..you were under it's influence. You can be totally free if you are determined.

I know a gal like u back den in my school. Her parents are pastors...she was a Lucifer in school and an Angel at home.

Men dat gal can smoke evrytin & F**k any1.
At home she is the youth leader. Prayer warrior etc. I even go to church see her speaking in tongues, singing and crying. I use to wonder how she does dat.

Hisincrease:
You were never a good child from the beginning. That was why your Dad used force to see if you will have sense.

All the things my parents warned me before leaving home to Uni was for my good. I could have had a child out of wedlock, got convicted with wrong company or even shot at sight by NPF.

This is 6 years of leaving Uni and I think I am a responsible man for my family and the society.

Enjoy your adventure sha.

Thank God you said your parents warned you. Some won't make you understand why they re restricting you from certain things, all they know is to use force.

It seems that you're confusing AUTHORITARIAN parents with DISCIPLINARIAN parents.

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

Senseless talk.
Who would be wayward would be wayward. You were close to your Mum yet.....

You cannot control what people do to you but you can control how you respond to it. It is called self restraint and taking responsibility for our actions. Your parents are not to blame for your actions but yourself. Your post won't stop responsible parents from enforcing discipline. Many who turned out well equally had strict parents. Stop blaming your parents and do your utmost to pass the test of parenthood with your children. Come back on 25 years to tell us how your children have fared.


quote author=FeliciaOja post=89939392]It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything  I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..
[/quote]

Blame shifter, you made wrong choices not because your dad disciplined you. I know deep down you're a feminist