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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child (4303 Views)
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Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by Romangalactic(m): 9:07am On Jun 05, 2020 |
pocohantas:Come back down to earth. Over 90% of Nigerians will never be as great and well known as the people you've been calling here, yourself included. That doesn't mean your father's name should not be preserved through his son. 5 Likes |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by pocohantas(f): 9:14am On Jun 05, 2020 |
Romangalactic: The preservation of a man’s name, doesn’t need to lie in the hands of his SON. The son can grow to be a Shekau, Bin Laden, Evans or a rapist. The son may be a petty thief who would be burnt on the streets of Lagos for stealing an itel phone or a drug trafficker that was sentenced to death by hanging for trafficking drugs to Indonesia. The son can decide to be a Miss Sahara or Bobrisky. Failing to use his follow-come prick for continuity. That is if he doesn’t yank it off. The preservation of a man’s name lies in his legacy and the quality of kids he left on earth. 19 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by thorpido(m): 9:16am On Jun 05, 2020 |
Titi03:Your points are valuable except for the bolded@ Otedola.Don't know what you mean by that. |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by Titi03(f): 9:23am On Jun 05, 2020 |
thorpido: Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to speak low of his disabled son. However, it's glaringly obvious that Otedola only shows off his female children (Cuppy and Teni). I'm sure most people don't even know he has a son and if we are honest with ourselves we know why! 4 Likes |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by cooooooks(m): 9:26am On Jun 05, 2020 |
Ignorant. anslem04: 1 Like |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by cooooooks(m): 9:28am On Jun 05, 2020 |
1 Like |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by Titi03(f): 9:34am On Jun 05, 2020 |
cooooooks: Did you read the story at all? She obviously was downcast by the negativity she knew she would receive from her mother! Do you know what it feels like to have your own mother treat you like a failure for things that are beyond your control? Have some empathy for goodness sake. 8 Likes |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by Romangalactic(m): 9:36am On Jun 05, 2020 |
pocohantas:Preserving a man's name is for identity and inclusion, it has nothing to do with having wealth or legacy. If it did, many of you here should not be bearing your father or grandfather or great-grandfather's surname. 5 Likes |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by Ybaby: 9:36am On Jun 05, 2020 |
eyinjuege: CUT HER OFF NOW AND PROTECT YOUR DAUGHTERS. 3 Likes |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by pocohantas(f): 9:40am On Jun 05, 2020 |
Romangalactic: Your kids would always be INCLUDED and IDENTIFIED. May God not give us kids that we do not want BEARING our names. May God also not give us parents whose names we do not want to BEAR. I hope you don’t intentionally miss the point again... 7 Likes |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by Mariangeles(f): 9:47am On Jun 05, 2020 |
In all these, I just pray your husband is a good man because he's the only one that can reassure you by reaffirming his love for you and your children come what may. After that, nothing anyone else says matters. |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by pocohantas(f): 9:48am On Jun 05, 2020 |
cooooooks: OP’s situation is understandable. Sometimes you think you have broken away from some dogmas or achieved some values, till you are tested. Now for someone like OP who saw the harm it did to her mother’s marriage, she already started on a wrong foot. Her mother’s paranoia is also not helping her support her daughter through this stage. People need to understand that God made them male and female for a reason. A deliberate and conscious attempt to create an unbalance would lead to chaos. Like someone pointed out, China carried out systematic gendercide for years, now they have very single men- looking for their own women to marry. Thankfully, they are not raping the few women they have like the men in India- another country with a highly unbalanced gender ratio. It is a free gift for many and though most people would love to have both, somethings are just beyond our natural control. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by bukatyne(f): 10:10am On Jun 05, 2020 |
anslem04: Except you miss quoted me, I agreed with the poster why the mother was the way she was. Did I endorse the mother's behavior? A lot of posters have advised the OP on what on do. I like to understand the root cause to proffer the right solution. I don't treat symptoms, I treat the disease. If the mother is afraid because of her own experience, a reassurance from the husband would be a great deal. The show of praying the baby changes sex might be a show for the husband to tell him that they are doing something. If after that, the mother is still carrying the matter on her head, then there is more than meets the eyes and she can relate with her mother from afar. In all of this, the husband who is a major stakeholder has not said anything. Not everything is done from a place of 'fight'. Some people have good intentions with bad execution. 2 Likes |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by eyinjuege: 10:31am On Jun 05, 2020 |
Unnerve: Don't be retarded Perhaps if you weren't blinded by your sentiments and opened your eyes to look, see and understand what the OP has written. Her very first sentence agrees with me that her mother has always been toxic towards them since childhood, and OP rationalised it by saying its because her parents marriage broke down due to them looking for a boy child. OP herself said mum has always been negative, toxic and unsupportive right from their childhood. She knows her mother better than anyone on here. Someone that didn't love her own daughters because they were born female is incapable of truly loving her female grandaughters. Her grandsons on the other hand will be over-pampered and spoilt rotten. The young girls will only grow up with low self esteem and feeling of unworthiness. OP has a duty to protect her girls from toxic people, and I hope she doesnt fail in that responsibility. may you be blessed with such a character as OPs mother in your life. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by eyinjuege: 10:36am On Jun 05, 2020 |
Titi03:He also has an older daughter, who is a better singer but isn't much in the limelight called Tolani. He shows off ALL his children. The reason Cuppy and Temi appear to be more on his social media pages is because he tries to promote their ventures, and their main source of livelihood is through social media promoting brands and their own brands too. Tolani is not autistic, is not physically challenged and is the first child but hardly gets promoted on his social media because she is not into social media and hardly has endorsements to promote. Same with his autistic son. |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by HoliMaree: 10:58am On Jun 05, 2020 |
Another cooked up fake story. Everywhere stew |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by cooooooks(m): 10:58am On Jun 05, 2020 |
OP should grow up and leave her mother alone. For the sake of her children. She could unknowingly bring all the discrimination and self-hating/loathing to her children. Titi03: |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by Nobody: 10:59am On Jun 05, 2020 |
pocohantas: ALOL , what is a name without continuity, the fact that women now prefix there father's names justifies continuity is indespensable to life than name. no outsider will carry on a man's legacy like an heir, a name can be changed buh a blood line can never be changed. For all those daughters that retained there father name, will there children also carry it on,check ngozi iweala children names ... will they carry okonjo as well, will aliko grandchildren bear "dangote indimi" so what happens when these women die. linda son will only bear an ikeji for the duration of time his biological father denies him. Please, who die for your family wey u no fit remember sef, their is no way the world can know about everyone. an heir wil survive with or without people buh legacy can only survive on people. Davido had fame yet he was so disturbed & desperate to have a heir! why ?? Been resourceful is what affords me the means to troll confidently & calm am not the one targeting boiz in dispora for a better life. 1 Like |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by cooooooks(m): 11:02am On Jun 05, 2020 |
OP and other ladies should understand that by allowing these boy-girl child arguments to continue, they are already devaluing their children. FLEE from all appearances of evil, don't drive around in your car. Not trying to be harsh but OP currently has a daughter. She needs to be happy to raise her children well. To raise her children to love themselves and appreciate life. The children will catch on if they think their mom is ashamed. pocohantas: 1 Like |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by nams77: 11:02am On Jun 05, 2020 |
Women sef! Una can fret over little things. Tell you mum to mind her business Most men nowadays are not really into that you must give me boy or else type of shit, since it has become clear that it is the man that determine the sex of the baby My friend( man) has 4 beautiful angels and he is so proud of dem. Na the wife dey even bother herself for boy pikin No play near him daughters o, or u go collect better back hand formatting slap Pick urself up and love your children. No man or woman has a right to determine your happiness 3 Likes |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by DontBullshitMe: 11:03am On Jun 05, 2020 |
Women hating women |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by pocohantas(f): 11:13am On Jun 05, 2020 |
You can kill IQ sha... anslem04: 6 Likes |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by SmileDance(f): 11:15am On Jun 05, 2020 |
If you don't have male children you can decide to put pressure on yourself and you can decide to be happy, love your children irrespective of their sexes. It's your choice, to each his own. |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by HoliMaree: 11:17am On Jun 05, 2020 |
Romangalactic: Shut up, there are many people bearing same surname with me and I'm not related to them by blood. So what is the significance of a name which you share with many other people? do you think your surname is used by only your family? after you die, who will remember you apart from your children and the lives you touched while on earth? even if your name is remembered will you resurrect to acknowledge it when called? guy, do good and history books will talk about you to coming generation of people beyond your immediate family. Who was the earthly son of Jesus? but generation to generation he remains popular due to his actions on earth, people tell what he did, how he came to die for our sins. What are you doing that will make people beyond your family remember you when you're gone? find how you will engrave your name through your actions on earth so that when you're remembered your good works will speak for you. I am a man, and I don't care to have a male child, I prefer female children. I repeat myself clearly, I prefer female children. These stories on board appear fake to me unless it's an Igbo family. These days people don't care 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by jaksmillioniar: 11:19am On Jun 05, 2020 |
Leshurr:are u IBO. I know only IBO act like dis 1 Like |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by jaksmillioniar: 11:22am On Jun 05, 2020 |
I wish to born boy to carry my name DAT dont mean I will divorce my wife if she turn my house to girls hostel.instead let her pray 1 Like |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by Nobody: 11:27am On Jun 05, 2020 |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by Nobody: 11:27am On Jun 05, 2020 |
It's even females that take care of their aged parents more. There is one thing we don't understand. Male children tend to loose their names actually in family tree. E.g., my husband's name is emeka, his dad is ugochukwu, their surname is Obi. Now check out who is actually the obi, it will be like 6th or 8th generation. So what happened to the sons after obi to my husband's name? All gone to oblivion. Nobody recognises them anymore. As time goes on, I'm changing the surname of my kids to their fathers name. I asked him about the name of the man they bear and he couldn't give me any answer. Can't give my kids name they don't have any relationship with. So are we really preserving the names of the males in the family? Some part of my family have started answering their fathers names. People know them as children of Mr A of B and C family, C being the surname we were known with while B is the name of the man who gave birth to A. Maybe in another 2 generations, the present B and C will be replaced with new ones. That way, people are not easily forgotten as soon as they did, and you can trace your genealogy easily. I noticed this is becoming common in my place. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by pocohantas(f): 11:31am On Jun 05, 2020 |
cooooooks: Yea, that is true. She really needs to be happy and raise her kids, so that history won’t repeat itself. 2 Likes |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by pocohantas(f): 11:32am On Jun 05, 2020 |
anslem04: The unfortunate one that ends up with you. Such is life... 2 Likes |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by Gloriagee(f): 11:36am On Jun 05, 2020 |
You nko. Abi u no sabi pray jaksmillioniar: 1 Like |
Re: When Your Own Mother Puts Pressure On You To Have A Male Child by Romangalactic(m): 11:41am On Jun 05, 2020 |
HoliMaree: HoliMaree:Today you're a man, some days ago you were a woman looking for a tall dark young man. Hermaphrodite, don't go and find something to do you hear? 5 Likes |
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