pocohantas:


The exact reason his name is not there. While some men are working hard to make a name for themselves, names that will cut across generations- some others are waiting for their kids to do the continuity.

Michael Jackson is late. He has been dead for YEARS, his name still lives on. I don’t “know“ his kids, I am sure a clueless troll like you doesn’t know them either.




Dangote’s daughter, is still known more as a Dangote, than her husband’s name.

Buhari’s daughter even after marrying an Indimi, still couldn’t drop the BUHARI. Two powerful names joined together.

Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala is a woman whose name would CONTINUE globally, way more than your father- who has a SON like you.

Linda Ikeji, singlehandedly put that name Ikeji on the map.

Davido’s father had money, a lot of people never knew that man, till Davido made FAME. Added it to the family name and they global now.

Every man doesn’t need a heir to keep his line. Every man needs to be remembered for his legacy. Every man who has a child, needs to train them well, to be purposeful- male or female. Spend your youthful years doing something more resourceful than trolling ME and even your whole village will attach to your name.

The men I mentioned did that, that is why their children, both male and female, are enjoying the dividends of their name.

Come back down to earth. Over 90% of Nigerians will never be as great and well known as the people you've been calling here, yourself included. That doesn't mean your father's name should not be preserved through his son.

Romangalactic:

Come back down to earth. Over 90% of Nigerians will never be as great and well known as the people you've been calling here, yourself included. That doesn't mean your father's name should not be preserved through his son.

The preservation of a man’s name, doesn’t need to lie in the hands of his SON. The son can grow to be a Shekau, Bin Laden, Evans or a rapist.

The son may be a petty thief who would be burnt on the streets of Lagos for stealing an itel phone or a drug trafficker that was sentenced to death by hanging for trafficking drugs to Indonesia.

The son can decide to be a Miss Sahara or Bobrisky. Failing to use his follow-come prick for continuity. That is if he doesn’t yank it off.

The preservation of a man’s name lies in his legacy and the quality of kids he left on earth.

Titi03:
@OP please consider the below examples:

The great Muhammad Ali had a whole bunch of girls and one son who didn't amount to much (sorry to say). Laila Ali is the only child of his that kept up her father's legacy - she's a girl child!

Kobe Byrant - known for greatness all over the world. had 4 girls and not a single son. Did that tarnish his name or image in anyway?

Barack Obama - two girls only. Need I say more?

Tony Elumelu - again, a whole bunch of girls. Did that dampen his success?

Femi Otedola - clearly more proud of his female children than the one disabled son he has.

Honourable mentions: Chris Rock, Jamie Foxx.

Your points are valuable except for the bolded@ Otedola.Don't know what you mean by that.

thorpido:
Your points are valuable except for the bolded@ Otedola.Don't know what you mean by that.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to speak low of his disabled son.
However, it's glaringly obvious that Otedola only shows off his female children (Cuppy and Teni).
I'm sure most people don't even know he has a son and if we are honest with ourselves we know why!

Ignorant.

anslem04:



Apparently OP husband has no reason to think like men on forbes list, a name without continuity is as lifeless as "Remembrance" denotes. when these men are long gone "who will represent "gates" "bryant" "obama 50yrs time lemme guest daugthers with another man last names, obama becums other names, sebi you fill jamb form.
LOL ! see mumu, i expect to see names of women that had there father's name behind their husband's name, dangote, jonathan, atiku, buhari daughters are married .. google there last name as mrs, hyphenate my burnt ass.
A life without representation is as inanimate as the word " remembrance" every man needs a heir to keep his line. name is - line + , one will alway bring life without d other put a tester on it
Should we also be aware of feminist, the real ones dress to work like men tho! many are hideous lesbians

WORD!!!

I mean OP drove around crying. For what

pocohantas:


Hopefully history doesn’t repeat itself.

cooooooks:
WORD!!!

I mean OP drove around crying. For what

Did you read the story at all?

She obviously was downcast by the negativity she knew she would receive from her mother! Do you know what it feels like to have your own mother treat you like a failure for things that are beyond your control?

Have some empathy for goodness sake.

pocohantas:


The preservation of a man’s name, doesn’t need to lie in the hands of his SON. The son can grow to be a Shekau, Bin Laden, Evans or a rapist.

The son may be a petty thief who would be burnt on the streets of Lagos for stealing an itel phone or a drug trafficker that was sentenced to death by hanging for trafficking drugs to Indonesia.

The son can decide to be a Miss Sahara or Bobrisky. Failing to use his follow-come prick for continuity. That is if he doesn’t yank it off.

The preservation of a man’s name lies in his legacy and the quality of kids he left on earth.

Preserving a man's name is for identity and inclusion, it has nothing to do with having wealth or legacy. If it did, many of you here should not be bearing your father or grandfather or great-grandfather's surname.

eyinjuege:
Cut her off.
Shes a very toxic woman as you know.
Stand your ground and block her number from your life.
She can never love her granddaughters and you dont need that in your life.

CUT HER OFF NOW AND PROTECT YOUR DAUGHTERS.

Romangalactic:

Preserving a man's name is for identity and inclusion, it has nothing to do with having wealth or legacy. If it did, many of you here should not be bearing your father or grandfather or great-grandfather's surname.

Your kids would always be INCLUDED and IDENTIFIED.

May God not give us kids that we do not want BEARING our names. May God also not give us parents whose names we do not want to BEAR.

I hope you don’t intentionally miss the point again...

In all these, I just pray your husband is a good man because he's the only one that can reassure you by reaffirming his love for you and your children come what may.
After that, nothing anyone else says matters.

cooooooks:
WORD!!!

I mean OP drove around crying. For what

OP’s situation is understandable. Sometimes you think you have broken away from some dogmas or achieved some values, till you are tested. Now for someone like OP who saw the harm it did to her mother’s marriage, she already started on a wrong foot. Her mother’s paranoia is also not helping her support her daughter through this stage.

People need to understand that God made them male and female for a reason. A deliberate and conscious attempt to create an unbalance would lead to chaos.

Like someone pointed out, China carried out systematic gendercide for years, now they have very single men- looking for their own women to marry. Thankfully, they are not raping the few women they have like the men in India- another country with a highly unbalanced gender ratio.

It is a free gift for many and though most people would love to have both, somethings are just beyond our natural control.

anslem04:




Seeing it as its is holds no water, except you intentionally fail to understand these is africa, somethings will never change, as a matter of fact culture is an uncontrollable factor, whether you accept or not, it will alway affect our lives as long as our endeavors depend or involve 2nd & 3rd parties. Lets stop acting as if we've out grown this problem, if the hubby is not concern, his sibling or immediately family are overzealously concern, if they're not , there neighbors are joblessly concern, cognizance of this as environmental factor should tell, it will alway influence or affect our lives except we don't find ourselves in these environment. OP is not luck

Except you miss quoted me, I agreed with the poster why the mother was the way she was.

Did I endorse the mother's behavior? A lot of posters have advised the OP on what on do.

I like to understand the root cause to proffer the right solution.

I don't treat symptoms, I treat the disease.

If the mother is afraid because of her own experience, a reassurance from the husband would be a great deal.

The show of praying the baby changes sex might be a show for the husband to tell him that they are doing something.

If after that, the mother is still carrying the matter on her head, then there is more than meets the eyes and she can relate with her mother from afar.

In all of this, the husband who is a major stakeholder has not said anything.

Not everything is done from a place of 'fight'. Some people have good intentions with bad execution.

Unnerve:

Cut off her own mother? Block her mother's number? Really?

You didn't stop to think that maybe her mother is simply worried about her marriage and doesn't want it to crash just like hers did for the exact same reasons?
She is just going about it the wrong way and not expressing herself appropriately.

But you concluding that she will never love her granddaughters because you think she is toxic, is simply projection. You have issues and you're shallow.

Don't be retarded
Perhaps if you weren't blinded by your sentiments and opened your eyes to look, see and understand what the OP has written.
Her very first sentence agrees with me that her mother has always been toxic towards them since childhood, and OP rationalised it by saying its because her parents marriage broke down due to them looking for a boy child.
OP herself said mum has always been negative, toxic and unsupportive right from their childhood.
She knows her mother better than anyone on here.
Someone that didn't love her own daughters because they were born female is incapable of truly loving her female grandaughters. Her grandsons on the other hand will be over-pampered and spoilt rotten. The young girls will only grow up with low self esteem and feeling of unworthiness.
OP has a duty to protect her girls from toxic people, and I hope she doesnt fail in that responsibility.
may you be blessed with such a character as OPs mother in your life.

Titi03:


Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to speak low of his disabled son.
However, it's glaringly obvious that Otedola only shows off his female children (Cuppy and Teni).
I'm sure most people don't even know he has a son and if we are honest with ourselves we know why!

He also has an older daughter, who is a better singer but isn't much in the limelight called Tolani. He shows off ALL his children.
The reason Cuppy and Temi appear to be more on his social media pages is because he tries to promote their ventures, and their main source of livelihood is through social media promoting brands and their own brands too.
Tolani is not autistic, is not physically challenged and is the first child but hardly gets promoted on his social media because she is not into social media and hardly has endorsements to promote. Same with his autistic son.

Another cooked up fake story. Everywhere stew

OP should grow up and leave her mother alone. For the sake of her children. She could unknowingly bring all the discrimination and self-hating/loathing to her children.

Titi03:



Did you read the story at all?

She obviously was downcast by the negativity she knew she would receive from her mother! Do you know what it feels like to have your own mother treat you like a failure for things that are beyond your control?

Have some empathy for goodness sake.

pocohantas:


The exact reason his name is not there. While some men are working hard to make a name for themselves, names that will cut across generations- some others are waiting for their kids to do the continuity.

Michael Jackson is late. He has been dead for YEARS, his name still lives on. I don’t “know“ his kids, I am sure a clueless troll like you doesn’t know them either.




Dangote’s daughter, is still known more as a Dangote, than her husband’s name.

Buhari’s daughter even after marrying an Indimi, still couldn’t drop the BUHARI. Two powerful names joined together.

Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala is a woman whose name would CONTINUE globally, way more than your father- who has a SON like you.

Linda Ikeji, singlehandedly put that name Ikeji on the map.

Davido’s father had money, a lot of people never knew that man, till Davido made FAME. Added it to the family name and they global now.

Every man doesn’t need a heir to keep his line. Every man needs to be remembered for his legacy. Every man who has a child, needs to train them to be purposeful- male or female. Spend your youthful years doing something more resourceful than trolling ME and even your whole village will attach to your name.

The men I mentioned did that, that is why their children, both male and female, are enjoying the dividends of their name.

ALOL , what is a name without continuity, the fact that women now prefix there father's names justifies continuity is indespensable to life than name. no outsider will carry on a man's legacy like an heir, a name can be changed buh a blood line can never be changed.
For all those daughters that retained there father name, will there children also carry it on,check ngozi iweala children names ... will they carry okonjo as well, will aliko grandchildren bear "dangote indimi" so what happens when these women die. linda son will only bear an ikeji for the duration of time his biological father denies him.
Please, who die for your family wey u no fit remember sef, their is no way the world can know about everyone. an heir wil survive with or without people buh legacy can only survive on people.
Davido had fame yet he was so disturbed & desperate to have a heir! why ??
Been resourceful is what affords me the means to troll confidently & calm am not the one targeting boiz in dispora for a better life.

OP and other ladies should understand that by allowing these boy-girl child arguments to continue, they are already devaluing their children.

FLEE from all appearances of evil, don't drive around in your car.

Not trying to be harsh but OP currently has a daughter. She needs to be happy to raise her children well. To raise her children to love themselves and appreciate life. The children will catch on if they think their mom is ashamed.

pocohantas:


OP’s situation is understandable. Sometimes you think you have broken away from some dogmas or achieved some values, till you are tested. Now for someone like OP who saw the harm it did to her mother’s marriage, she already started on a wrong foot. Her mother’s paranoia is also not helping her support her daughter through this stage.

People need to understand that God made them male and female for a reason. A deliberate and conscious attempt to create an unbalance would lead to chaos.

Like someone pointed out, China carried out systematic gendercide for years, now they have very single men- looking for their own women to marry. Thankfully, they are not raping the few women they have, like the men in India- another country with a highly unbalanced gender ratio.

It is a free gift for many and though most people would love to have both, somethings are just beyond our natural control.

Women sef! Una can fret over little things. Tell you mum to mind her business

Most men nowadays are not really into that you must give me boy or else type of shit, since it has become clear that it is the man that determine the sex of the baby

My friend( man) has 4 beautiful angels and he is so proud of dem. Na the wife dey even bother herself for boy pikin

No play near him daughters o, or u go collect better back hand formatting slap


Pick urself up and love your children. No man or woman has a right to determine your happiness

Women hating women

You can kill IQ sha...

anslem04:

ALOL , what is a name without continuity, the fact that women now prefix there father's names justifies continuity is indespensable to life than name. no outsider will carry on a man's legacy like an heir, a name can be changed buh a blood line can never be changed.

If you don't have male children you can decide to put pressure on yourself and you can decide to be happy, love your children irrespective of their sexes. It's your choice, to each his own.

Romangalactic:

Preserving a man's name is for identity and inclusion, it has nothing to do with having wealth or legacy. If it did, many of you here should not be bearing your father or grandfather or great-grandfather's surname.

Shut up, there are many people bearing same surname with me and I'm not related to them by blood. So what is the significance of a name which you share with many other people? do you think your surname is used by only your family? after you die, who will remember you apart from your children and the lives you touched while on earth? even if your name is remembered will you resurrect to acknowledge it when called? guy, do good and history books will talk about you to coming generation of people beyond your immediate family. Who was the earthly son of Jesus? but generation to generation he remains popular due to his actions on earth, people tell what he did, how he came to die for our sins. What are you doing that will make people beyond your family remember you when you're gone? find how you will engrave your name through your actions on earth so that when you're remembered your good works will speak for you.
I am a man, and I don't care to have a male child, I prefer female children. I repeat myself clearly, I prefer female children.




These stories on board appear fake to me unless it's an Igbo family. These days people don't care

Leshurr:
Right from childhood my mother has always been very toxic, negative and unsupportive towards me and my elder sister. We were the only two kids she ever had with my father and their marriage packed up because he wasn't happy with the fact that she didn't bear him a son. I get the impression that she secretly resents us for being girls and that's why she treats us terribly.

I got married 7 years ago and had a daughter shortly after.. when I did the scan and we found that it's a girl, my mother drove all the way to my house and laid hands on my tummy declaring and demanding that the gender must be transformed to a boy in Jesus name. I was so upset and humiliated as she did this in the presence of my husband. Of course her prayers didn't work and I gave birth to a girl - and I've recieved little to no support from her in the raising of my daughter.

Now fast-forward to this pregnancy, from day one when I told my mother I had concieved again, she showed no enthusiasm and simply said "it better be a boy this time"..

I felt so sad and dejected, and so worried of the amount of criticism i would get from my mother.. coupled with the fear of my husband being unhappy if it turns out to be another girl.. so when it was time, I went to do the gender scan alone.. lo and behold, the doctor told me it's another girl.. my world shattered and I spent the rest of the day just driving around town crying... whilst my mother kept blowing up my phone throughout the day to find out the gender but I ignored her calls. When I got home my husband asked me the gender and I lied and said it wasn't clear. He suggested we do another scan but I kept avoiding it.

Till date I'm the only one who knows the gender and I'm due in two weeks. My mother still keeps calling pressuring me that I must deliver a boy this time.

I'm so depressed and haven't been motivated to do any baby shopping.. I just feel like I'd be felt sorry for by my friends and will be ridiculed by my mother if this child does turn out to be another girl.

are u IBO. I know only IBO act like dis

I wish to born boy to carry my name DAT dont mean I will divorce my wife if she turn my house to girls hostel.instead let her pray

pocohantas:
You can kill IQ sha...

The next kill will be someone's daughter .. i don't miss

It's even females that take care of their aged parents more.

There is one thing we don't understand. Male children tend to loose their names actually in family tree.

E.g., my husband's name is emeka, his dad is ugochukwu, their surname is Obi. Now check out who is actually the obi, it will be like 6th or 8th generation. So what happened to the sons after obi to my husband's name? All gone to oblivion. Nobody recognises them anymore.

As time goes on, I'm changing the surname of my kids to their fathers name. I asked him about the name of the man they bear and he couldn't give me any answer. Can't give my kids name they don't have any relationship with.

So are we really preserving the names of the males in the family?

Some part of my family have started answering their fathers names. People know them as children of Mr A of B and C family, C being the surname we were known with while B is the name of the man who gave birth to A. Maybe in another 2 generations, the present B and C will be replaced with new ones. That way, people are not easily forgotten as soon as they did, and you can trace your genealogy easily.
I noticed this is becoming common in my place.

cooooooks:
OP and other ladies should understand that by allowing these boy-girl child arguments to continue, they are already devaluing their children.

FLEE from all appearances of evil, don't drive around in your car.

Not trying to be harsh but OP currently has a daughter. She needs to be happy to raise her children well. To raise her children to love themselves and appreciate life. The children will catch on if they think their mom is ashamed.

Yea, that is true. She really needs to be happy and raise her kids, so that history won’t repeat itself.

anslem04:



The next kill will be someone's daughter .. i don't miss

The unfortunate one that ends up with you. Such is life...

You nko. Abi u no sabi pray

jaksmillioniar:
I wish to born boy to carry my name DAT dont mean I will divorce my wife if she turn my house to girls hostel.instead let her pray

HoliMaree:

I am a man, and I don't care to have a male child, I prefer female children. I repeat myself clearly, I prefer female children.

HoliMaree:
I'm looking for a tall dark young man with heart of gold. If you fit this description, Jesus is looking for you. Give your life totally and exclusively to him today

Today you're a man, some days ago you were a woman looking for a tall dark young man.

Hermaphrodite, don't go and find something to do you hear?