UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

Kfed4ril:


Lol bros I understand you, but before I gave her the split advice I asked if she also knows about his finances and I also asked her to share if she knows about his finances. It might be possible They said husband is also hiding his his finances to, which prompted the lady to do so.
Again the lady is not just an oriaku, going by her story you can see she personally renovated the flat and bought new furnitures, that is to tell she also contributes to the house, if she was a typical Nigerian woman she won’t have put 1naira to the house renovation.
Again I think the husband isn’t satisfied with her contributions, rather want to control her and her money.
Do you see where I’m coming from now and why I advised her so?

yettymuse:
Marriage for Nigeria now na wa! I hail all of una. Especially the financially independent woman. The price y'all pay to keep up with the jones.... Mrs title wey be FREE before with plenty provisions,.. Now the men are collecting money o.. Hian!

Make una shine una eyes o! Them don dey collect money to answer Mrs Lagbaja o.. Katikati!

My own talk no dey plenty.

Guard your money if you no fit guard your heart!...


Ire o!

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

Landnaira5:


Nobody demands trust or respect you earn it. If he has to ask for it he’s doing something wrong. I will never marry a man that believes he owns me and my money never - because nobody does - not even my father who has spent millions on me lays claim to me or my money. I won’t even be in such situation to start with.

My partner (not married) knows how much i earn, he does not believe he owns me and my money, he has no reason to ask for my ATM or STEAL MY CARD. I’ve given him my card/pin to do my grocery shopping many times and that’s because I trust him.

If I was dating a man like hers (which is really impossible, our values are different), I would NEVER hand over my card to him. Only God knows where people find all these men with archaic mentality in 2020. When we ask women to love themselves and know their worth they’ll say feminists have come again.

And yes if a woman marries a patriarch who has such terrible beliefs, she needs to look out for herself FIRST. If she marries her EQUAL and Partner - they should work as partners with transparency.

A woman who is married to a man who believes it’s his right to dictate how she spends her money/ or for the wife to submit her money to him should better hide her money and invest it very well for herself. Life is too short to be a fool.

Any man that can open his mouth and say he owns a whole human being cannot be trusted.

OP YOU BETTER PROTECT YOURSELF, DONT LET ANYBODY MANIPULATE YOU IN THE NAME OF SUBMISSION. BE WISE OH.

aeion:
He doesn't have the right to take your ATM card away from you nor demand your PIN. If he needs money, I'm sure he knows how to ask but forcefully having direct access to your money at his choosing should be a no-no. If he's threatening you over this, tell your family and get yourself and the baby in your belly to a safe place, but do not give him that PIN. A man who behaves like this is up to no good and can't be trusted.

The amount of like when dey dis post go show us the total number of females on nairaland... The count starts now.



These are the words of a controlling, abusive man. He does not own you, neither does he own your salary.

yettymuse:
Marriage for Nigeria now na wa! I hail all of una. Especially the financially independent woman. The price y'all pay to keep up with the jones.... Mrs title wey be FREE before with plenty provisions,.. Now the men are collecting money o.. Hian!

Make una shine una eyes o! Them don dey collect money to answer Mrs Lagbaja o.. Katikati!

My own talk no dey plenty.

Guard your money if you no fit guard your heart!...


Ire o!

Ybaby:


Perfect reply!

Let me just add that she should not project herself yet..let baby come .... for now just be cunning. Any man stressing his pregnant wife for money is not normal. Lie and hide your money

Your emotions when pregnant is important as it affects baby and the kind of human spirit you attract. So peace first. ...... you will deal with him later. Protect you and baby

Heathrow44:




How old re u?? U talk like a minor, get out and stop wasting space

Heathrow44:




Sharrap!! Is not marriage Or is only d man that should provide 4 d family?? Is obvious u re an obiageri and oriaku mgbeke woman!! Go and hustle oo, so that d kids won't lack college funds because is only d man DAT brings out money and u and everybody uses it whereas u stash ur cash with a selfish rotten attitude, don't marry if u don't feel like sharing ur funds t help d family and save the justice system a complete waste of tym and another Saturday!

lolaben:



You are married and hiding information about finances is not healthy.

You ought to have known the kind of person you are marrying during courtship but these days, couples use courtship to explore body compatibility rather than understanding one another. It is well.

If your husband is doing well for himself, your earnings should not be an issue, he is probably insecure and feels there is a competition going on.
Just tell him how much you earn and I suggest you stop using cards. Accord him the necessary respect. God bless

Ybaby:


Lazy man rant

@yettymuse You have finally heard a lazy man rant.

Ybaby:


I am a10 years old

Can I go now ?

Ybaby:


Sorry! How is your chest now? Try and eat ice cubes

Heathrow44:




Yep, go back t the juvenile prison u came off from!

Heathrow44:




Obiageri! Oriaku!

Ybaby:


Ok go back to lazy irresponsible man cannot pay Bills prison you came from.

And greet other my wife must give money men when you get there

Landnaira5:


Nobody demands trust or respect you earn it. If he has to ask for it he’s doing something wrong. I will never marry a man that believes he owns me and my money never - because nobody does - not even my father who has spent millions on me lays claim to me or my money. I won’t even be in such situation to start with.

My partner (not married) knows how much i earn, he does not believe he owns me and my money, he has no reason to ask for my ATM or STEAL MY CARD. I’ve given him my card/pin to do my grocery shopping many times and that’s because I trust him.

If I was dating a man like hers (which is really impossible, our values are different), I would NEVER hand over my card to him. Only God knows where people find all these men with archaic mentality in 2020. When we ask women to love themselves and know their worth they’ll say feminists have come again.

And yes if a woman marries a patriarch who has such terrible beliefs, she needs to look out for herself FIRST. If she marries her EQUAL and Partner - they should work as partners with transparency.

A woman who is married to a man who believes it’s his right to dictate how she spends her money/ or for the wife to submit her money to him should better hide her money and invest it very well for herself. Life is too short to be a fool.

Any man that can open his mouth and say he owns a whole human being cannot be trusted.

OP YOU BETTER PROTECT YOURSELF, DONT LET ANYBODY MANIPULATE YOU IN THE NAME OF SUBMISSION. BE WISE OH.

Heathrow44:




I'm not lazy is ur lazy ass that makes u hoard money..d days of mgbeke women like u av passed, d days of independent women that contribute their bit to family and child's care has come... U aren't independent cos if u independent and not broke, u would always set aside money for child care or don't u care abt the child that came off ur body ??
U re vastly a minor with underdeveloped brain cells that reasons like a child that's why u aren't matured t give sensible advice.. Run along nw

Heathrow44:





U re bitter and pained, I can see that, y don't u go and play around with dem kids in ur block dats where u belong.. Y"baby"

Ybaby:


Na me.

My hubby calls me Oriaku!!!! Love it

Ybaby:


Ok go back to lazy irresponsible man cannot pay Bills prison you came from.

And greet other my wife must give money men when you get there

Heathrow44:




Yes o!! That's wat u are, mgbeke, ur hubby should be deeply ashamed of u and I'm sure he is buh yet t tell u... Hw can a minor like u possibly take care of a child wen u can't take care of urslf.. No be only Oriaku , even "Stay at home mom", " House wife and maid na wetin u be and that man providing for u is depriving himself the money and moment he would av spent with a woman that can lokk aftrr herself and family msm

Ybaby:


Shut up jo..... boring

Poor man !

Ybaby:



Ok, you have mouth o na money you no get.

No energy for dusty men abeg

I dont have power to fight.... leave me biko

Ybaby:



Good luck finding independent women...
Once they get pregnant their eyes open and they begin to open thread because they realise they have chosen wrongly that is why we have rate of divorce because women are letting lazy mad men who are looking for a builder wife them. The women torture such men o but na the pickin they suffer last last.

I am not an independent woman I need my husbands provision biko.... I cannot pay Bill's.... I am too fragile

Ybaby:


Lazy man rant

@yettymuse You have finally heard a lazy man rant.