DominusPrime:

Your sister has turned you to a slave. Being in one state does not stop you from applying for jobs in other states although there are advantages in being in the same state. But as it is I haven't seen how you are enjoying them. You didn't even mention that your sis is helping you look for a job. Also talk to the hubby too if he can help while you are away.

Your sister sees your being a housegirl more beneficial to her than you getting a job. Besides if you get a job in that state and still live in that house you will automatically have two jobs...ironically as it may sound that wont be a blessing at all.

MASTERCHIEF0847:

Don't listen to this person. You barely know the sister apart from what is posted here and you've concluded already.

DominusPrime:

You have a point actually and I'm responding because you have passed your opinion without insults. As with lots of stories on Nairaland there are always two sides to a coin.

ModestGal:

I know the tribe of your sister. They are good in using family members like slaves, let me just not mention it so they won't say I'm a tribalist.

But this particular tribe is very good at this thing, my sister friend for example, this lady is very wicked that she would tell the girl living with her to mop floor with rag, she said its neater than using mop. And the most annoying is that when the family members of this girl visit, they would still be calling the girl lazy (I mean her mother), this girl is almost depressed, she's a little girl in JSS3, she can cook food wey I no sabi cook. She looks very dull, it makes me hater her mum and a my sis friend shes living with because they are both wicked idiot practising child abuse.

Back to your matter, just have some patience ehn, the one you can do, do it, the one you cannot do, leave it. Don't get angry with your sister, just leave her to be angry, you can also say sorry and still not do the work she wants you to do. Thats how to live with those kind of people, and make sure you demand money very well from her, and if she no give you, report her to your mother. When you are through with service, commot her house. She no get option, you be her sister whither she likes it or not, and you can't have her in Abuja and move somewhere not convenient for you.

Tell her this, ''go and tell our mother to rewind time and not give birth to me to be your sister, but this one that I'm your sister, you will have to take care of me whether you like it or not''.

Now, play victim, always remind her of people with sisters that are handicapped but taking care of them, you can even play movies with such occurrences and grumble that, ''shebi na one sister be this''
Start playing baby, you can even form that you are sick, chronic one, dey vomit, and if your mother ask you, tell her that you have depression because of what you are going through in your sisters house.

oluwaseyi0:
My story look a little bit like yours

Those days of my ND whenever I visit my aunt, I automatically assume the role of the one to do house chores her kids are lazy, as I continue to grow older it doesn't sit well with me, during my HND I learnt photography and start doing wait and get photos while staying with a friend, immediately I start earning small changes my dependency on her greatly reduced hence I don't visit often, before and during my service year I learnt programming and got a job immediately after service

I am grateful for all my aunt and her husband has done for me but the truth is I WON'T ACHIEVE ANYTHING IF I CONTINUE TO STAY WITH THEM MY MIND WILL BE MORE FIXATED ON COMPLETING A NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF HOUSE CHORES RATHER THAN THINKING ABOUT MY CAREER


it's very unfortunate that that's a typical African family treatment

@adunni07 you are simply are adopted house girl and that is not going to change any time soon, no one is gonna let a passive slave free just like that, fighting her is a no no, it is a war you will never win but you will come out severely wounded, she will paint you as ingrate, your parents will rather support her, if you fight her her husband will rather support her and worse of all you will loose the gains and comfort her house bring

Your best bet is to find something doing asap, if it's to learn a vocational training, intensify your job hunting and act grown up, let her see you as busy, don't let her always see you as available, immediately you get a reasonable job your best bet is leaving her house

bukatyne:


@bold:

Hmmmmm..

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..So since my older sis got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back, all thru my university days whenever school is not on session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband. Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes...at times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her... thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do. Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live...she stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like...mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things..the only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time. My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday...should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

Righteousness89:
I Pray For you! May a good Job fall on in no time! In JESUS NAME..


In the meantime do whatever you will expect someone to do for you if you were in your sister shoes...

You are Ssisters! There should be no unnecessary quagmire!

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..So since my older sis got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back, all thru my university days whenever school is not on session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband. Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes...at times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her... thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do. Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live...she stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like...mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things..the only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time. My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday...should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

tunjilee003:
I'll advise you to endure, that's the key, get a nice job ,save some money and move to your own abode, squatting with a family member has it own headache and that is what you're facing right now.....
the coast will be clear...

MASTERCHIEF0847:
Personally i will advise you endure for now, at least she's your family.
Another point is she's pregnant and most women easily get pissed and irritated during pregnancy, it's a common thing.
You just need to try and get a job, that way you won't have to stay home most times which means less encounter with her and also you will be earning some income and probably save up and get your place in future.
What did you study in school? Get soft copies of your CV and other relevant documents and upload to some sites where you can apply for jobs, better than waiting. Who knows you could get lucky.

SweetCunt97:
She's simply lazy and a tyrant. Many pregnant people do stuffs without being bitchy.

Biglittlelois:
Is she your blood sister? If yes, is it that you didn't grow up with her or you both are not that close that you can't stand your ground and say your mind?

When I first got a new job in a different state from where I stay, I lived with an aunt that was very nice to me, she has kids and she made sure all house chores are done by them, to the extent that I had to assign a duty to myself so it won't be like I don't do anything at all, this aunt is a distant cousin o, not even a close one and till I left there and got my place, I had no cause to complain, she is that nice....

So Op I'm wondering if she is your blood, though people differ in character and personality, you should still be able to voice out and say your grievances, all the best.