ajimo54:



@Archangel, my post is not fictitious! My female cousin's hubby made his wife's sister (my younger female cousin) pregnant in this Lagos! No matter how foolish it resonates, the foolish man said his wife was not responsible! All men are not foolish! So get my words!

Of course all men are not irresponsible and I did not wrote that your post is fictitious rather there was a bit of over generalisation embedded therein. What your in-law did was irresponsible and should not be a yardstick to measure all men. Not all men go about raping or having carnal desires with their cooks.

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It is a phase, endue and enjoy it, it will soon pass. Do the work with Joy as if it is yours. You will also reap in times to come.

When you serve somebody
very well, time will come when
another person will also serve you
well.


Stop being a lazy girl because you
are washing plates & cooking in
your elder sister's house, who feeds,
houses & gives you pocket money.
Would you not be doing same if you
lived by yourself?

Many people are looking for such an
opportunity while awaiting job to
come through. I hope you are not
secretly jealousing your sister?


Oya go back to village, ungrateful
22 year old gehl.

No1 Are you hotter than her
No2 Do you know her husband history proper
No3 Does her husband ALWAYS take your side.
No4 How do you dress around the house.

She might just be getting uncomfortable, irritable and insecure especially as she is pregnant.

Boss good morning, I will like to know you Sir...

All these slay queens. Common Mop, wash, cook na problem. You should thank your stars it wasn't in the days of our grandfathers. You would have been going to the farm as early as 4am to harvest cassava

OP you’re a lady and you’re 22 doesn’t mean can’t live by yourself.
Don’t let what anyone tells you limit you.

But like some posts have stated earlier, find something to keep you busy and give you money.

Staying in abuja with hope of getting a good job or opportunity is 50/50 chance if not 40/60 chance self cos I know abuja in and out very well as the lines of my palm. There is no where that opportunities can't locate you. Many people don't know that being in abuja is not an automatic qualification for success it only takes the grace of god with a little hard work. Abuja is not like Lagos where you can survive with any job. Abuja is not industrialized but full of agencies. Having the right connection is what will actually help you to make it very quickly in abuja unlike lagos that you can get some good jobs without connection or bribe.anyway you are lady sha probably you might be willing to offer your body sha for good jobs.Am not discouraging but only telling you the fact. I have a lot of people that have left abuja cos of lack of green light and I have people that are still in abuja. Let me burst your head I know of director of ministry in abuja that bought jobs for his children in the same ministry he is working just cos he couldn't get it a free slot.
The only advantage you have is that your sister is in abuja but she is hell bent in killing you with domestic works.
My advise for you is to go back to your place and be applying for a good jobs in Abuja and other places to stop working as tiger and elephant for your lazy sister. I have some friends that did it that way and it works out successfuly infact one of them is rising to become a bank manager in wuse2 abuja very soon.
Above all pray before you make any decision.

Alihamduliah for the gift of life.
You can send me.mail to advise further on what realy works.

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

You have a lazy sister. Just manage her until you get job then tell her bye bye. Plz don't leave the city, whenever your closed to your breakthrough thats how temptation will be intense.

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

I have two advice for you, one is if she has grown up children like 7 years upward, always wake them whenever you wake up to join you in the house work direct them on what to do if she complaint tell her you are training them also
Two if she restrict you from doing the above just go back to your parents house

My dear, all of these things you just said, I've experienced all of it.....it's just a phase of life, continue to pray to God to help you to persevere, and do learn from these experiences, trust me one day it will pass for it is just a phase........ In the mean time do what you can to get a job, to help save you from this "SELF CENTERED HUMAN" u call family........

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

Ariza:
You probably think everyone is still living under his or her parents roof like you

Not taking that bait

Just do your best and if you choose to leave, do it amicably not as though you are leaving because of her attitude. My wife is the youngest in her family and she experienced all that but the truth is that she's enjoying it today. as her hubby , am enjoying my wife as well. A lot of things I don't know as a man, my wife had already acquired all the experience.

Do your best and leave amicably when you choose to. don't fight your sister, blood is thicker than water.

We will always need one another in one way or the other

My dear she has no right to maltreat u when u r sick. But as soon as u regain your strength u continue doing those chores. Don't try to be stubborn or indifferent.

Bid your time. Since there are more opportunities in ABJ you should endeavor to start searching for jobs. Ask your inlaw to also help you. As soon as you get a job you save some change and leave.
Maybe your sis is also scared that you mite try something with her husband. She does not want to tell you outrite to leave her house as this mite anger your parents. Thus she wants you to leave of your own volition! She mite be playing smart to save her house.




My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?[/quote]

My sister, all is well. What i will advice you is that since you are not in your father's house. What i should tell you is that you should be patient in life. Endure in everything, believing one day you will not be there again as a helper. I rest my case.

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

I can bet that you are going to do exactly the same thing when you get married. There's always that tendency among women to maltreat someone who is beneath them or possess less power than they have. It gives them an orgasm doing that. It's even more regrettable that this is your sister.
Mine came from my elder brothers' wives.

These people are so lazy they can't lift a finger yet they expect you to work like a camel. When you talk people will say she's training you. Which useless training? You destroy someone's self esteem and you call it training.

My advice to you is to seriously start looking for opportunities to get out of that house. Job, marriage, further study...just look for opportunities.

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

My dear for you to get something you must sacrifice something, and this is what you must sacrifice for you to get that dream job. Please come down she is your elder sister for goodness sake is you that will serve her not the other way around.

You need her for now so you have to do her bidding she is your sister. Whatever you need to do to stay in her house in other to get the job do it. Some people went through the same process your own won't be different. You should thank God that she allowed to stay in her house. Just 22 and you are feeling this way haba.

Modify

Get a skill why waiting for job so that you will not always be available

StubbornGENIUS:
You seem like a nice person.If you can't take your sister's troubles anymore(who i think is a bit selfish by the way),just go back to your parent's place and continue searching for Abj jobs from there.She and her family will definitely miss you(that is if she really allows you to go).I wish you goodluck Adunny07!

thank you.

Trunaijian:


Once you are a liability, there is the tendency for disrespect.

unless you want to continue to receive such blames, you may have to be smart. But have one thing at the back of your mind. It’s HER HOUSE. So don’t challenge her in any way.

What to do?

Don’t stay too long at a stretch. Travel home and back frequently. You can always search for job without being at a location always. The internet is available and when you do visit Abuja, you can do the physical waka.

Do what you can to assist her. And try overlooking her blames. If it starts getting too much, then travel for a while.

Life is not easy. You are young and lucky to be starting life early. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You are privileged to have a place to stay in Abuja. Most girls your age are squatting with friends and forced to hussle money to contribute rent or living with a boyfriend they don’t really care about.

Overlook your sisters complains and help her the best way you can. As said earlier, if the complain wan too much, travel go house go chill for a while.

Wish you the best.

Thank you.

adecz:



When you serve somebody
very well, time will come when
another person will also serve you
well.


Stop being a lazy girl because you
are washing plates & cooking in
your elder sister's house, who feeds,
houses & gives you pocket money.
Would you not be doing same if you
lived by yourself?

Many people are looking for such an
opportunity while awaiting job to
come through. I hope you are not
secretly jealousing your sister?


Oya go back to village, ungrateful
22 year old gehl.

I think you need to always read a post and assimilate it properly before giving your opinion...what part of my post makes it look Like am jealous biko? so you didnt read the part where I said I am down with malaria? I wonder how some people think o...please watch it and don't call me ungrateful...You don't know me...do well to pass ur advice across without using abusive words. Thanks.

Adunny07:
I think you need to always read a post and assimilate it properly before giving your opinion...what part of my post makes it look Like am jealous biko? so you didnt read the part where I said I am down with malaria? I wonder how some people think o...please watch it and don't call me ungrateful...You don't know me...do well to pass ur advice across without using abusive words. Thanks.

The summary of the long epistle is that,
you, a younger sister isn't happy
to be doing chores at an elder sister's
house. If possible, you prefer her & her
husband to be doing the housework
while you chat with your homies & fellow
unemployed graduates on Whatsapp & 'gram

Thank You all for the advice....am really grateful....God bless.

The chores=house rent+feeding
Continue with it till you get what you want.

Except if you have other options.

Who told you that ur too small to rent an apartment?
ladies are too problematic in nature
You guys complain a lot.
Yes she might not be treating you the way you want cause your in her house and when ever ladies have too much friends; gossipes flies like bees.
So you can either go back to your parents house? Or
Find a your fellow girl that you can share the rent fees with

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

Who says renting an apartment at 22 is wrong because you're a lady?

Chummynoni:
you have a lazy sister. she will definitely kill you with chores. i pray u get a job on tym and leave her lazy ass alone. goodluck

our people says that if you get what you're digging for, there's no need to dig again. You have said my mind and no need for further comment. You've said it all

This is exactly my sister but she can’t complain I woke up late don’t know the relationship you have with her though (how close you are)if it’s my sister I will tell her blank am tired go and do your work and nothing she will do than shout and am used to that

Hmmmm. As right said, explore the option of talking to her husband if he could help since you said the husband always commend your efforts in getting things done. However, choose the right time and place to discuss with the husband for his intervention. No situation remains forever, see the period as challenging moment when you have to sacrifice and have some take aways in the journey called LIFE.

Valued

oluwaseyi0:
My story look a little bit like yours

Those days of my ND whenever I visit my aunt, I automatically assume the role of the one to do house chores her kids are lazy, as I continue to grow older it doesn't sit well with me, during my HND I learnt photography and start doing wait and get photos while staying with a friend, immediately I start earning small changes my dependency on her greatly reduced hence I don't visit often, before and during my service year I learnt programming and got a job immediately after service

I am grateful for all my aunt and her husband has done for me but the truth is I WON'T ACHIEVE ANYTHING IF I CONTINUE TO STAY WITH THEM MY MIND WILL BE MORE FIXATED ON COMPLETING A NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF HOUSE CHORES RATHER THAN THINKING ABOUT MY CAREER


it's very unfortunate that that's a typical African family treatment

@adunni07 you are simply are adopted house girl and that is not going to change any time soon, no one is gonna let a passive slave free just like that, fighting her is a no no, it is a war you will never win but you will come out severely wounded, she will paint you as ingrate, your parents will rather support her, if you fight her her husband will rather support her and worse of all you will loose the gains and comfort her house bring

Your best bet is to find something doing asap, if it's to learn a vocational training, intensify your job hunting and act grown up, let her see you as busy, don't let her always see you as available, immediately you get a reasonable job your best bet is leaving her house

Most sisters are this useless and wicked.
Turning your sis them to house maids. Discouraging them not to get married coz of fear of loosing their services. Preventing you from traveling coz they will miss your efforts.
My Ex in PH was in same shoes as you.
When I saw she wasn't ready to move on with her life even at the age of 30, I gave her distance