₦airaland Forum

Eketem:
Are you paying high Abuja rent?

Are you paying for food?

Calculate How much the work you do is and how much rent and feeding will cost you.

I think you should talk to your sister on appreciation while her husband who is supposedly so nice can help with the chores because it is his house and his wife is pregnant.

It is funny how you declare the husband a nice man while you expect your pregnant sister to do chores even when she may be drained.

Alternatively go back home let the husband pick up the slack.

well said, you are living with your "heavily" pregnant sister and you cannot assist her with most of the house chores if not all.
Your conscience should tell you to relieve her of work as she is feeding, housing and taking care of you... What are you contributing?
How do you visit someone older than you and still be waiting to be told to getup early and clean, SMH

Acidosis:
A lot has been said. I really wish you well, darling. It will end in praise.

thank you so much.

maiyee:
well said, you are living with your "heavily" pregnant sister and you cannot assist her with most of the house chores if not all.
Your conscience should tell you to relieve her of work as she is feeding, housing and taking care of you... What are you contributing?
How do you visit someone older than you and still be waiting to be told to getup early and clean, SMH

.

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..So since my older sis got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back, all thru my university days whenever school is not on session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband. Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes...at times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her... thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do. Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live...she stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like...mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things..the only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time. My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday...should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

Nawao for this your sister oooo. Go back home, either you secure a job, go into business or just do both. Sha make sure you earn a loving and once you know you can comfortably afford to stay on your own then do so.
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Biglittlelois:
Is she your blood sister? If yes, is it that you didn't grow up with her or you both are not that close that you can't stand your ground and say your mind?

When I first got a new job in a different state from where I stay, I lived with an aunt that was very nice to me, she has kids and she made sure all house chores are done by them, to the extent that I had to assign a duty to myself so it won't be like I don't do anything at all, this aunt is a distant cousin o, not even a close one and till I left there and got my place, I had no cause to complain, she is that nice....

So Op I'm wondering if she is your blood, though people differ in character and personality, you should still be able to voice out and say your grievances, all the best.

M.

Adunny07:
thank you so much.

Don't let it bother you, it's just a phase that will soon pass.
The truth is, even if you do all the chores, the fact will remain that " you don't do anything "
If not the pandemic, I would have said you should leave house early in the morning, come back in the evening.
Sometimes, just eat out, with that you won't enter kitchen, you won't see dirty plates.

But the honest truth is that if you stop doing as you were doing before, you might be creating a distance in your relationship with her.
All these things will help you tomorrow to manage stress.

I think you should just calm down until you get a job, then fly ,fly , fly away like an ea........gle .

Adunny07:
My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday...should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

Do you have friends or any place like a library you can maybe go spend a part of your day, at least until you properly recover from your illness? If you can head back home to your parents every so often, please do it.

Well this kind of things are bound to happen. I pray you recover quickly. Like someone said endurance is the key. Maybe its just her way of appreciating your help. That's how some of us are wired, we just tend to say thank you in a crude way. Despite all these, i'd advice you keep your cool and probably engage yourself in something that'll take you out of the house (i mean profitable engagement). She's your sister don't pick fault. Have a nice day.

It is better for you to squat with a friend or boyfriend than stay with your sister tbh.

What was your relationship with her before now? Was it good?

What another person said is true. If you continue this slaving, you reduce the time to:
- find a job
- do a business
- network/make friends including possible bf/husband.

Adunny07:
We also stay in kuje...I just hope I get a good job soon...am trying to apply for jobs outside Abuja...I can't come and kill myself.

Nice one. Try and apply to some private schools around there in Kuje. Going to town to submit applications wouldn't be very easy except you have enough money for tp and know how to find your way around town. Alternatively, you can start home lessons for children around your sisters place in Kuje there. Look for nice cardboard papers and paste #Home Lessons ongoing here. If you're serious and dedicated, you may become the next school proprietor in Kuje.
What you studied is not important as long as you put passion in teaching.

cooooooks:
It is better for you to squat with a friend or boyfriend than stay with your sister tbh.

What was your relationship with her before now? Was it good?

What another person said is true. If you continue this slaving, you reduce the time to:
- find a job
- do a business
- network/make friends including possible bf/husband.

The counsel of Balaam and Ahitophel is what you're giving. Did she tell you she's looking for a place to squat with boyfriend.
Na una dey spoil small girls for area.

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..So since my older sis got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back, all thru my university days whenever school is not on session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband. Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes...at times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her... thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do. Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live...she stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like...mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things..the only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time. My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday...should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

While you are still there, Without informing her, apply for a teaching job at Abuja so that you can also be going to work , or show interest in working in a boarding house as their hostel mistress and as a teacher, try and save enough money... With that, you can live a peaceful life by moving out of her house and be living in a shared flat or self con. If you continue with her house chores, You will turn old and die early of stress, if you don't apply wisdom... Just continue to be good to her for now...

You are calling a 22 year old woman a small girl.

Pauldollars:
The counsel of Balaam and Ahitophel is what you're giving. Did she tell you she's looking for a place to squat with boyfriend.
Na una dey spoil small girls for area.

lilyheaven:
My sister, for my house, I have four elder sisters, Na only me the do everything for house, no rest, infact, if I say pin, they will beat me ontop. as them de marry, Na so I dey move from house to house de do nanny . They see it as my responsibility, my mama come talk say , make I no complain because them be my senior, na so I endure, come marry, they still carry their seniority come, them go the call me up and down, I want to do this, cook this, serve me this, I wan drink water, come and take your cup , water dey here o, come clean de water etc. my husband come ask me one day, if my sisters no fit help me do one thing, I tell am , say if I talk now , they will say I don grow wings, why I go send them message. One day, our eldest call me say she de come, make I cook her favorite keep, I say no problems, as she come, my two elder sister join body follow come plus my brother.
I just dey look them that morning, na only one person I tell my husband de come, now na four people dey house. I carry my bible, tell them say , yam dey for store, moi moi dey for fridge , even stew dey, if my pikin carry, make una help me feed am, I wan rush go church.
As I dey go, I leave my phone for house.
I leave house around 3pm, I come back around 8pm.
As I come back, I no come see them, na my children and their papa dey house.
Morning no reach sef, my phone dey ring up and down say make I no try dat kind thing again, say my pikin just dey cry cry, make I no try leave my pikin for them again. I come beg them say make them no ves.
Last last na them cook food wey them chop, scattered everywhere.
As for now, I no dey try say I wan go do Christmas for my house, all of them go come with their pikin , na me go carry all the chores for head. Them no no say person don grow
Chio, it's not easy to be last born. I benefited too, they paid my fees, they clothed me their oversized clothes even their adult gist the sweet me too

This tori sweet my belle.

The 2nd bolded is always the issue with elder siblings.

My mums elder sister still expects my mum to serve her and family even as both of them are old arugbo. she lived with her when younger trained all the pikin.

The space between then is quite much no1- no7

lilyheaven:
My sister, for my house, I have four elder sisters, Na only me the do everything for house, no rest, infact, if I say pin, they will beat me ontop. as them de marry, Na so I dey move from house to house de do nanny . They see it as my responsibility, my mama come talk say , make I no complain because them be my senior, na so I endure, come marry, they still carry their seniority come, them go the call me up and down, I want to do this, cook this, serve me this, I wan drink water, come and take your cup , water dey here o, come clean de water etc. my husband come ask me one day, if my sisters no fit help me do one thing, I tell am , say if I talk now , they will say I don grow wings, why I go send them message. One day, our eldest call me say she de come, make I cook her favorite keep, I say no problems, as she come, my two elder sister join body follow come plus my brother.
I just dey look them that morning, na only one person I tell my husband de come, now na four people dey house. I carry my bible, tell them say , yam dey for store, moi moi dey for fridge , even stew dey, if my pikin carry, make una help me feed am, I wan rush go church.
As I dey go, I leave my phone for house.
I leave house around 3pm, I come back around 8pm.
As I come back, I no come see them, na my children and their papa dey house.
Morning no reach sef, my phone dey ring up and down say make I no try dat kind thing again, say my pikin just dey cry cry, make I no try leave my pikin for them again. I come beg them say make them no ves.
Last last na them cook food wey them chop, scattered everywhere.
As for now, I no dey try say I wan go do Christmas for my house, all of them go come with their pikin , na me go carry all the chores for head. Them no no say person don grow
Chio, it's not easy to be last born. I benefited too, they paid my fees, they clothed me their oversized clothes even their adult gist the sweet me too

Lol sis....I thought am the only last born suffering in my house o...before they got married naso so send send....now again wey them don marry na nanny and work I dy help them do...maybe when I get married I won't live close to them lol...it is well o...even now that you are married they don't want you to rest....God will help us.

Kobojunkie:
Do you have friends or any place like a library you can maybe go spend a part of your day, at least until you properly recover from your illness? If you can head back home to your parents every so often, please do it.

Will go to my parent's house for a while to just relax.

Don’t leave.

1. Set yourself a target.
Give yourself like a year; during which you’d endure whatever comes your way, chat a course for your life; look inwards into whatever it is you’d like to do, use your phone to develop yourself and learn as many things you can.

2. Every problem facing you has an expiry date.
‘For if we faint in days of adversity, our strength is small’.

You’d be more exposed to some opportunities in cities.

This isn’t time to give up!

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..So since my older sis got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back, all thru my university days whenever school is not on session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband. Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes...at times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her... thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do. Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live...she stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like...mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things..the only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time. My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday...should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

You people complain too much. If you can't do house chores kindly leave her house for her you must not stay there. If you think there are more job opportunities in the place, she is living endure, when you get a job, you move. Do think it is easy to feed an extra mouth.

Ariza:
Go back to your parents house. And there's nothing wrong in living alone at 22. But wait till you get a job before getting a place of yours.

Can you just hear yourself? What's the hard work in those chores you just listed? Cooking, sweeping, mopping. It's not like you are going to farm to plant, harvest or fetch firewood and many more tedious works.

At "just" 22, you are already so lazy and slow.

NoToPile:


This tori sweet my belle.

The 2nd bolded is always the issue with elder siblings.

My mums elder sister still expects my mum to serve her and family even as both of them are old arugbo. she lived with her when younger trained all the pikin.

The space between then is quite much no1- no7

E no easy o
Any time wey I visit them, them go happy, my sister go say, baby girl thank god you are here, let me rest small,

Adunny07:
I said most times when I come she is pregnant...now am done with service and she is no longer pregnant...she gave birth in January....and trust me am not taking the food and accommodation for granted...just pointing out the fact that even now that am sick she is angry that I can't help when normally I help her...maybe u don't really understand my writeup sha...thanks anyways.

I am a parent, I work I earn but till today when I go to my sisters place I don't even let her lift a cup. I stayed with family before getting my own place I did house work and still bought gas, light and some small stuff.

JulieJules:
Can you just hear yourself? What's the hard work in those chores you just listed? Cooking, sweeping, mopping. It's not like you are going to farm to plant, harvest or fetch firewood and many more tedious works.

At "just" 22, you are already so lazy and slow.

I'm sure you haven't been through such

Have you have to watch plate 3 times a day? Plate used by the whole family, then cook, mop, sweep, take care of kids, watch family clothes and repeat some of the above more than once a day, waking up very early as if you are still attending secondary school, be the last to sleep? And the guess what - the cycle repeat tomorrow, and the day after and the day after... I can bet you haven't

You literally get exhausted from doing nothing but house chores

Just pack your things commot.

It is better to stay with your friend that this your sister.

On a lighter note.

What you need is a sweet guy, come check me in Fi I.

oluwaseyi0:
I'm sure you haven't been through such

Have you have to watch plate 3 times a day? Plate used by the whole family, then cook, mop, sweep, take care of kids, watch family clothes and repeat some of the above more than once a day, waking up very early as if you are still attending secondary school, be the last to sleep? And the guess what - the cycle repeat tomorrow, and the day after and the day after... I can bet you haven't

You literally get exhausted from doing nothing but house chores

No mind the guy.

I stay alone, feed my mouth, wash my clothes, bathe myself but somedays, these little tasks can be so daunting.

lilyheaven:
My sister, for my house, I have four elder sisters, Na only me the do everything for house, no rest, infact, if I say pin, they will beat me ontop. as them de marry, Na so I dey move from house to house de do nanny . They see it as my responsibility, my mama come talk say , make I no complain because them be my senior, na so I endure, come marry, they still carry their seniority come, them go the call me up and down, I want to do this, cook this, serve me this, I wan drink water, come and take your cup , water dey here o, come clean de water etc. my husband come ask me one day, if my sisters no fit help me do one thing, I tell am , say if I talk now , they will say I don grow wings, why I go send them message. One day, our eldest call me say she de come, make I cook her favorite keep, I say no problems, as she come, my two elder sister join body follow come plus my brother.
I just dey look them that morning, na only one person I tell my husband de come, now na four people dey house. I carry my bible, tell them say , yam dey for store, moi moi dey for fridge , even stew dey, if my pikin carry, make una help me feed am, I wan rush go church.
As I dey go, I leave my phone for house.
I leave house around 3pm, I come back around 8pm.
As I come back, I no come see them, na my children and their papa dey house.
Morning no reach sef, my phone dey ring up and down say make I no try dat kind thing again, say my pikin just dey cry cry, make I no try leave my pikin for them again. I come beg them say make them no ves.
Last last na them cook food wey them chop, scattered everywhere.
As for now, I no dey try say I wan go do Christmas for my house, all of them go come with their pikin , na me go carry all the chores for head. Them no no say person don grow
Chio, it's not easy to be last born. I benefited too, they paid my fees, they clothed me their oversized clothes even their adult gist the sweet me too

It is well with you.

cooooooks:
It is better for you to squat with a friend or boyfriend than stay with your sister tbh.

What was your relationship with her before now? Was it good?

What another person said is true. If you continue this slaving, you reduce the time to:
- find a job
- do a business
- network/make friends including possible bf/husband.

Na Dem.

your sister is an evil being ,just imagine how she would treat your kids in future if they stay with her kai. idiot

Maybe she's comfortable with you in her house, you could go to your parents house for a while