₦airaland Forum

You can submit applications and go to ur parents while u pray � to God for opportunities. God answers prayer

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

Endure, get a job and move out

Lazy Generation!!!

Hezmatosky:
The only problem I see here is you. Chores chores chores.... does ur sister operate restaurant? I think you're lazy. It is either you don't have enough time out with ur boyfriend or you have started eyeing her husband. Young girls like you are very dangerous

Not every one does that...its not always about a guy abeg...don't even have time for that...and why should I be eyeing my brother in law? thats just silly.

Sparro:
How can people be so quick to throw their weight behind this op. You people have not even heard from the elder sister. U don't even know the elder sister yet. You people that are asking her to leave the house and telling her that her elder sister is lazy and that she has turned her to a slave are all dumb. Asin, dumb.

The op on the other hand is dumb and daft. This is purely a family issue. Someone who agreed to harbour you is the person you brought here to be mocked. God will judge you. If you are not dumb, you will find a way to beat around it. Everyone has one form of challenges or the other. This is purely family issue. This is your married blood sister we are talking about. If you think it is easy, go out the house and see for yourself. Nonsense

Your comment is very funny hope you know? you think I would come here and make up stories about my own older sis? if I was bad the way you are making me look I wouldn't have made the post like this...I would have probably describe my own sis in a way that might make people view her as being bad...I didnt do that...I only came here for advise because its bothering and paining me and. you are here saying God will judge me? Please you don't know me so if you don't have anything good to tell me you can simply not reply under my post...Thanks.

To be or not to be, that is the question.

jubrilELsudan:
YOUR SISTER IS A WINTCH AND DOESN'T WANT YOU TO PROGRESS.

SHE HAS TIED YOUR DESTINY AND WILL ENSURE THAT YOU NEVER FIND A JOB AND REMAIN IN HER HOUSE AS HER HOUSE MAID.


THE REASON SHE IS ALWAYS SHOUTING AT YOU AND COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU NOT DOING HOUSE WORK IS BECAUSE SHE BELIEVES THE HUSBAND LIKES YOU VERY WELL AND WANTS TO FVCK YOU.


VERY SOON SHE WILL ACCUSE YOU OF SEDUCING HER HUSBAND.


YOU , SHE AND THE HUSBAND ARE ALL VERY STUPID.

Oga what I will not take from you is insult...mind what you say Biko...don't you ever refer to my older sis as a witch...NEVER....if you don't have anything reasonable to say then waka pass....stop portraying your foolishness here...imagine you calling a grown man stupid...No dear I think that should be used for you...RESPECT your self.

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

Consider yourself very lucky that it is not that her husband is showing you " screw".
if the problem is just house chores keep doing it . it is for your own good too if you get married , you are are going to be very grateful to your sister for teaching you.

I don’t see any reason for complaining except your sister not caring about your illness and it’s probably because of the way she sees you. There’s nothing wrong in doing house chores at your sister’s place while you are there. She feeds you and houses you. Believe me, shelter and food are not easy to come by especially in a high brow area like Abuja. House chores should be your own little way of showing your appreciation to her and her family while you intensify efforts to get a job soon. There’s an Igbo adage that says, “if you bring yourself down (humility), you will be lifted up”. Be wise!

You seem like a nice person.If you can't take your sister's troubles anymore(who i think is a bit selfish by the way),just go back to your parent's place and continue searching for Abj jobs from there.She and her family will definitely miss you(that is if she really allows you to go).I wish you goodluck Adunny07!

Your sister carry wickedness for head,

Advice her say make she drop am, na her glow go gain.

And who told you there are no job opportunities at your parents place. If you like yourself give her space, and let her figure what her problem is. I pray you get a good job soon.

Mic check mic drop, gbanite de volume

oluwaseyi0:
My story look a little bit like yours

Those days of my ND whenever I visit my aunt, I automatically assume the role of the one to do house chores her kids are lazy, as I continue to grow older it doesn't sit well with me, during my HND I learnt photography and start doing wait and get photos while staying with a friend, immediately I start earning small changes my dependency on her greatly reduced hence I don't visit often, before and during my service year I learnt programming and got a job immediately after service

I am grateful for all my aunt and her husband has done for me but the truth is I WON'T ACHIEVE ANYTHING IF I CONTINUE TO STAY WITH THEM MY MIND WILL BE MORE FIXATED ON COMPLETING A NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF HOUSE CHORES RATHER THAN THINKING ABOUT MY CAREER


it's very unfortunate that that's a typical African family treatment

@adunni07 you are simply are adopted house girl and that is not going to change any time soon, no one is gonna let a passive slave free just like that, fighting her is a no no, it is a war you will never win but you will come out severely wounded, she will paint you as ingrate, your parents will rather support her, if you fight her her husband will rather support her and worse of all you will loose the gains and comfort her house bring

Your best bet is to find something doing asap, if it's to learn a vocational training, intensify your job hunting and act grown up, let her see you as busy, don't let her always see you as available, immediately you get a reasonable job your best bet is leaving her house

moadxist2:
Go back home for a while.

She dey chock her sister abi?

Adunny07

I advise you not to complain about chores while in your sister's home. It's understandable as your complaint now is that you are not feeling well. The things you are strong enough to do are the ones you can only do. After all, you do them all when you are fine. Just endure whatever she says. It's her home.

Besides, you should not lose focus of what you are in Abuja to do. Try and get busy with it. Search for job openings, submit applications and attend interviews. When you are less busy, visit your parents. Then return to your sister when you have an interview or something else to do in Abuja. I wish you the best of luck.

You dont know what you ll meet in future learn to take whatever life throws your way as something to learn from and prepare you for the worst. what of if both of you are the only one with your parents not alive, will you run away from her? If you leave her now and go away from here when you dont have a reason to , what will happen when you have a reason to move ahead? If you get a nice job and your immediate boss is like her , will you keep running away. Challenge yourself that no matter what, you ll never quit, imagine getting married to a mother-in-law like her staying with her only son who happens to be your husband , will you run away too. I ve learnt to see the best in worst situations and it has helped me achieve much in life. Your blessings might lie in that situation so dont run away. Infact someone will see you and not believe that you are graduate with the way you work and recommend you to someone as an epitome of humility, from there your life will change. infact after the house chores, do lesson for her kids and let their life change and your presence show in while you are around, that way they will always look for you when you leave for good, whether you like it or not, the kids will look for you and remember every single thing you did for them.
Moses was not given the assignment to lead the Israelites when he ran away from Egypt but it was after he has learnt much lesson of humility that Jehovah gave him that assignment. Dont miss what is preparing you for the future.[color=#000099][/color]

A lot of siblings staying with sisters or brothers these days are very lazy! You are staying with your sister or brother and you dont want to do anything. How much I hate such an idle state. You watch her TV, eat her food, drink her water and stay in her house. She does not ask u for money and u are complaining. Look, as u make ur bed so u lie in it.

I actually hate the fact that some married sisters are lazy. How will you leave ur kitchen to ur sister? If ur hubby starts fucking her u will be complaining.

If you want to stay with married siblings prepare to work. Married siblings, pls do ur chores. Your younger siblings could only assist you. No one should be in the parlour watching ROK TV while the other is busy in the kitchen.

Salute to my wife always! All her siblings love staying with her. She leaves her kitchen to no one.

ajimo54:
A lot of siblings staying with sisters or brothers these days are very lazy! You are staying with your sister or brother and you dont want to do anything. How much zi hate such an idle state. You watch her TV, eat her food, drink her water and stay in her house. She does not ask u for money and u are complaining. Look, asu make ur bed so u lie in it.

I actually hate the fact that some married sisters are lazy. How will you leave ur kitchen to ur sister? If ur hubby starts fucking her u will be complaining.

If you want to stay with married siblings prepare to work. Married siblings, pls do ur chores. Your younger siblings could only assist you. No one should be in the parlour watching ROK TV while the other is busy in the kitchen.

Salute to my wife always! All her siblings love staying with her. She leaves her kitchen to no one.

You made a nice post but ended up with men are goats angle, haba So if she is cooking the meals for the family, her husband will tip over to sex because he is crazy. You guys should give yourselves credit for goodness sake.

Adunny07:
Your comment is very funny hope you know? you think I would come here and make up stories about my own older sis? if I was bad the way you are making me look I wouldn't have made the post like this...I would have probably describe my own sis in a way that might make people view her as being bad...I didnt do that...I only came here for advise because its bothering and paining me and. you are here saying God will judge me? Please you don't know me so if you don't have anything good to tell me you can simply not reply under my post...Thanks.

Can you see how imbalance the world is? You want me to believe your story and say something nice to you even though I don't know you. People narrates stories from the angles that will favour them. You want me to just believe and extend my sympathy while demonising your your elder sis without even hearing her own part of the story. Na baby, it's not possible.

Even if your story and narrative is true, let's say your elder sister is lazy and want to enslave you, it is just a matter of time. Endure it and get mature in it. When it is your time, you will surely be emancipated. Nothing last forever. You can't be living with me and not work. You just rounded up your service, hopefully, nice job will smile down to you soon. Maturity is scarce these days. Remember you said the husband is nice? You can leverage on that and maneuver your way to achieve your aim. There is no gain without pains. Believe me when it is time, you will either be forcefully ejected or you will willingly leave the house. Just chill and put your ass to work.

Staying with your sister will not guarantee you Job.

I would advice you to go back to your parent but ensure that the address on your CV is your sister's address since the state she stays has more job opportunities.
A good job will give you at least 24 hours interview invitation notification which you can use that to travel from anywhere in Nigeria down to Abuja.

Kindly go back to your parent house.
#SiblingLivesMatter

TheArchangel:
You made a nice post but ended up with men are goats angle, haba So if she is cooking the meals for the family, her husband will tip over to sex because he is crazy. You guys should give yourselves credit for goodness sake.

@Archangel, my post is not fictitious! My female cousin's hubby made his wife's sister (my younger female cousin) pregnant in this Lagos! No matter how foolish it resonates, the foolish man said his wife was not responsible! All men are not foolish! So get my words!

Canadauto:
You dont know what you ll meet in future learn to take whatever life throws your way as something to learn from and prepare you for the worst. what of if both of you are the only one with your parents not alive, will you run away from her? If you leave her now and go away from here when you dont have a reason to , what will happen when you have a reason to move ahead? If you get a nice job and your immediate boss is like her , will you keep running away. Challenge yourself that no matter what, you ll never quit, imagine getting married to a mother-in-law like her staying with her only son who happens to be your husband , will you run away too. I ve learnt to see the best in worst situations and it has helped me achieve much in life. Your blessings might lie in that situation so dont run away. Infact someone will see you and not believe that you are graduate with the way you work and recommend you to someone as an epitome of humility, from there your life will change. infact after the house chores, do lesson for her kids and let their life change and your presence show in while you are around, that way they will always look for you when you leave for good, whether you like it or not, the kids will look for you and remember every single thing you did for them.
Moses was not given the assignment to lead the Israelites when he ran away from Egypt but it was after he has learnt much lesson of humility that Jehovah gave him that assignment. Dont miss what is preparing you for the future.[color=#000099][/color]

Adunny07,

Please, listen to this man. I wish he made the first button. He nailed it. Unless, u are lazy. If u go to ur parents, won't you work?

IF U CANT STAND THE HEAT STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN!GO BACK TO UR PARENTS!!

Endure or move to copper lodge then

This is one quality with most ladies I detest.

Your own sister comes to live with you and suddenly you start wanting the compound mopped, what you weren't doing before.

Hope you too won't do worse?

Dont act based on emotion if they work you want in Abuja is more important to you then endure its just temporary you will be able to establish yourself

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

Once you are a liability, there is the tendency for disrespect.

unless you want to continue to receive such blames, you may have to be smart. But have one thing at the back of your mind. It’s HER HOUSE. So don’t challenge her in any way.

What to do?

Don’t stay too long at a stretch. Travel home and back frequently. You can always search for job without being at a location always. The internet is available and when you do visit Abuja, you can do the physical waka.

Do what you can to assist her. And try overlooking her blames. If it starts getting too much, then travel for a while.

Life is not easy. You are young and lucky to be starting life early. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You are privileged to have a place to stay in Abuja. Most girls your age are squatting with friends and forced to hussle money to contribute rent or living with a boyfriend they don’t really care about.

Overlook your sisters complains and help her the best way you can. As said earlier, if the complain wan too much, travel go house go chill for a while.

Wish you the best.

Biglittlelois:
Is she your blood sister? If yes, is it that you didn't grow up with her or you both are not that close that you can't stand your ground and say your mind?

When I first got a new job in a different state from where I stay, I lived with an aunt that was very nice to me, she has kids and she made sure all house chores are done by them, to the extent that I had to assign a duty to myself so it won't be like I don't do anything at all, this aunt is a distant cousin o, not even a close one and till I left there and got my place, I had no cause to complain, she is that nice....

So Op I'm wondering if she is your blood, though people differ in character and personality, you should still be able to voice out and say your grievances, all the best.

"Distant" So no surprises. The close ones are the ones that have "seen finish".

Distant has missed you so won't want to bother you. They'll cherish and love you. The close feel entitled.

Good, you began doing something.

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

Please go back to your parents home for a while, even though you may come back later. Since she doesn't want to appreciate those helping hand you are giving her,She will feel it when you leave.

oluwaseyi0:
My story look a little bit like yours

Those days of my ND whenever I visit my aunt, I automatically assume the role of the one to do house chores her kids are lazy, as I continue to grow older it doesn't sit well with me, during my HND I learnt photography and start doing wait and get photos while staying with a friend, immediately I start earning small changes my dependency on her greatly reduced hence I don't visit often, before and during my service year I learnt programming and got a job immediately after service

I am grateful for all my aunt and her husband has done for me but the truth is I WON'T ACHIEVE ANYTHING IF I CONTINUE TO STAY WITH THEM MY MIND WILL BE MORE FIXATED ON COMPLETING A NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF HOUSE CHORES RATHER THAN THINKING ABOUT MY CAREER


it's very unfortunate that that's a typical African family treatment

@adunni07 you are simply are adopted house girl and that is not going to change any time soon, no one is gonna let a passive slave free just like that, fighting her is a no no, it is a war you will never win but you will come out severely wounded, she will paint you as ingrate, your parents will rather support her, if you fight her her husband will rather support her and worse of all you will loose the gains and comfort her house bring

Your best bet is to find something doing asap, if it's to learn a vocational training, intensify your job hunting and act grown up, let her see you as busy, don't let her always see you as available, immediately you get a reasonable job your best bet is leaving her house

Please adopt this option my sister. Get yourself engaged. My wife's cousins do come around and my wife she does her work herself. For my wife self, there is nothing you will do that will satisfy her. Even me, i do not do anything except little filling of gallons and buckets with water for storage.

And Who Told U That There Is Alot Of Job Opportunities In Abuja? Wake Up Dear