Angelacruz:
I doubt if d dude really luvs u.How can someone who claimed to be in luv ignored u for months.Haba

Tiredagain:




Yea. I won't blame you calling me naive, I know all these things but just purposely ignore because I always hope that one day he will change.. I won't even surprise that I will mumushily get back to him if he comes back tomorrow..

Tiredagain:




Believe me, if he had lived up to the expectation I needed in the relationship, I won't be in the mess of the bestie/friendship brouhaha.. He knows that i am introvert and hardly mingle with people and that been said, I have told him times without number that i wish that he knows so much a lot about me and what i am capable of doing if something rises up about me..

Sixfeetbelle:


And you don't female friends?

Mandela27:

See ur craw craw head,continue having male bestfriends and men will keep dumping ur ass .who get time for incompetent girls now

lecturerdabo:
I am surprised most people are harping on "opposite sex besties"!

Is there any law against that?

I've had a female best friend for close to a decade now. we are both married though she was single when we started even till date my wife refers to her as my first daughter.

THE KEY IS TO ALWAYS DEFINE THE BOUNDARIES FROM THE BEGINNING!!!

@Op, If everything you wrote there is the truth, I will posit that your boyfriend should be allowed to go cos there is nothing as bad in a relationship as trust issues! When once to partner cannot trust you, the relationship is ruined!!

Seems he enjoy having you run after him and begging to be accepted. If he can afford to ignore you for months without reason when you are neither married nor living together, imagine what will happen when he starts waking up every morning to see your face! I may be wrong but...

Mandela27:
Now that's how a man should act or even more sef.
You women are bunch of crazy misplaced priorities.why on earth should u have a male best friend?
You said u forcefully dragged ur phone from ur boifriend because u and ur bestie had a chat about him-one thing men hate most is discussing whats going on in their relationship with another man;And you even expect ur boifriend to believe d guy is not smashing u.
If i were ur guy,I would DUMP u and Next time learn to love only one man.

Sixfeetbelle:

Why are you pained though?

Tiredagain:
I am active member here, reason for the pseudo account.

Long post alert :

I was/have been in a relationship with him for years, initially it was all rosy till he began to switch on/off at intervals.We hardly request for anything from each other because we both work and contented with the little we earn. Each time I sense that he wants to be left alone, I quietly give him his space. I have tried times without number to make him open up to me but it will all seem like a waste which makes me to retreat all the time. Mind you, he knows that i love him and practically can do anything or forgive him anytime he messes up.

Our last fight before this was that he called me during working hours and wanted to know if I was chanced to meet him then i asked him if all was well with him, he became angry and dropped the call. I tried reaching out to him for months but he intentionally avoided me, after 3 to 4 months of my efforts, I decided to let him be to concentrate on myself and others, he started stalking me on all online platforms. We later settled though.

To the main issue for this post, I have a colleague at work, we discuss practically everything and anything. My other colleagues knows that we are both best friends and nothing else, we also make fun of ourselves on 'stories'. But the issue is that my boyfriend thinks something is beyond that our friendship and that i have things i am hiding from him. To be honest, my best friend has confided a lot to me that i promised him that it would stay between us. Mind you, we have never sex chatted nor call ourselves romantic names of any sorts.

So recently, after making up with my fiance, he wanted to meet up with me after so many months, I obliged, only for him to request for my phone, I gave him voluntarily, as he was going through it, he wanted to open the chat I had with my best friend but I forcefully collected the phone from him. I tried talking him out that there's nothing going on between me and my colleague but he assumed and concluded that something is going on between us . He said that my attitude shows that I value my best friend more than him but i tried proving him wrong because some many times, I needed his attention he wasn't there and my best friend is the only one who knows everything and vice versa.. He told me right through my eyes that it is over.

Besides, he had once forcefully collected his phone from me sometimes last year when i was updating his WhatsApp for him and I mistakenly stumbled upon a chat of him with a lady.. I never made a case about it with him

Honest Truth : I have never involved myself in any sexual act with my best friend or any man apart from my fiance.. I value both my friendship and relationship but my fiance is making me to choose

Please i need your genuine opinion
Help a sister

Was i wrong
What advice would you give to me


Please i don't wish for it to make Frontpage because either of them would see and know who's behind the post because they are both members but not active�


Modified : the content of the chat I had with my colleague was about my fiance and there were so many provoking words in it, reason i did what i did because I never intended hurting him

Tiredagain:




Thank you, I am definitely going to work on this ☝️

quisera:

This statement confirms that the Op is a cheat. Someone advised you to dump ur guy and work on your relationship with your male bestie and u're glad about it, even offering to give it a trial. Madam you think friendship and relationship na the same thing abi? No worry ur eyes go neat....mtcheew

Kwinesther:
God bless you for this comment...she will regret it if she marries such a man.

Rozz:
I will not take side,you should have just allowed him read whatever he wants to read in your phone since you know you are not hiding anything,all men have problems of insecurity in relationships,your actions just trigger it the more.what are you even doing with a male bestie when you already have a fiancee

ibkonekt:


when people marry there is no privacy as long as trust has become an issue, if the man or woman wants to look through anything at that time when trust is low they should be able to audit each other without resistance....either way the boyfriend was smart to ignore what women say with their mouth and pay attention to what they say with their actions. her actions by snatching the phone spoke volumes

SavageMaster:


Are they married?

Rozz:
I will not take side,you should have just allowed him read whatever he wants to read in your phone since you know you are not hiding anything,all men have problems of insecurity in relationships,your actions just trigger it the more.what are you even doing with a male bestie when you already have a fiancee

ibkonekt:

the reason for insecurity is that 90% of women cheat...these hoes aint loyal

Rozz:
when you talk of cheat,it is mostly associated with men,they believe it is their birthright

roybanjo100:
the sound of the "best friend" is irritating me..Ogbeni, why dont u go n be dating ur so called best friend, confused witch

Tiredagain:
I am active member here, reason for the pseudo account.

Long post alert :

I was/have been in a relationship with him for years, initially it was all rosy till he began to switch on/off at intervals.We hardly request for anything from each other because we both work and contented with the little we earn. Each time I sense that he wants to be left alone, I quietly give him his space. I have tried times without number to make him open up to me but it will all seem like a waste which makes me to retreat all the time. Mind you, he knows that i love him and practically can do anything or forgive him anytime he messes up.

Our last fight before this was that he called me during working hours and wanted to know if I was chanced to meet him then i asked him if all was well with him, he became angry and dropped the call. I tried reaching out to him for months but he intentionally avoided me, after 3 to 4 months of my efforts, I decided to let him be to concentrate on myself and others, he started stalking me on all online platforms. We later settled though.

To the main issue for this post, I have a colleague at work, we discuss practically everything and anything. My other colleagues knows that we are both best friends and nothing else, we also make fun of ourselves on 'stories'. But the issue is that my boyfriend thinks something is beyond that our friendship and that i have things i am hiding from him. To be honest, my best friend has confided a lot to me that i promised him that it would stay between us. Mind you, we have never sex chatted nor call ourselves romantic names of any sorts.

So recently, after making up with my fiance, he wanted to meet up with me after so many months, I obliged, only for him to request for my phone, I gave him voluntarily, as he was going through it, he wanted to open the chat I had with my best friend but I forcefully collected the phone from him. I tried talking him out that there's nothing going on between me and my colleague but he assumed and concluded that something is going on between us . He said that my attitude shows that I value my best friend more than him but i tried proving him wrong because some many times, I needed his attention he wasn't there and my best friend is the only one who knows everything and vice versa.. He told me right through my eyes that it is over.

Besides, he had once forcefully collected his phone from me sometimes last year when i was updating his WhatsApp for him and I mistakenly stumbled upon a chat of him with a lady.. I never made a case about it with him

Honest Truth : I have never involved myself in any sexual act with my best friend or any man apart from my fiance.. I value both my friendship and relationship but my fiance is making me to choose

Please i need your genuine opinion
Help a sister

Was i wrong
What advice would you give to me


Please i don't wish for it to make Frontpage because either of them would see and know who's behind the post because they are both members but not active�


Modified : the content of the chat I had with my colleague was about my fiance and there were so many provoking words in it, reason i did what i did because I never intended hurting him

bukatyne:


1. What do you need a male 'bestie' for when you have a boyfriend?
2. Why have you refused to place a premium on yourself that your emotions and body becomes easy entry and exit for your boyfriend?

You are telling your boyfriend that your male friend is more available than him: are they playing same role in your life or why the competition?

You also know your boyfriend doesn't love you or value you. Yet, you will keep going off and on till you are stuck and get married to him.

You will now open a fresh moniker three years later wailing how your husband is scum.

As for your male friend, if he is not good enough for a relationship, stop investing too much emotions in that friendship.