I've only told this to one person and I've been carrying this one for 9 years now.

This might turn out to be a little long, so bear with me. When I was 17, a few days to my first WAEC, I was reading in the living room when my mom walked in and falsely accused me of sleeping with my own Dad... Oh, I'm a guy btw. I'm not gay, neither am I effeminate.

She claimed she saw my Dad touching me and that he slept with me. I was stunned. I went through different ranges of emotions. At first, I wanted to curse her, then I wanted the ground to swallow me up for real, then I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to scream, tears just filled my eyes, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Why are you doing this?" and then she just walked out. I just sat there losing my mind, I knew it was untrue because there's no way you would penetrate a guy without him feeling it, right? Not to mention the fact that I have no memory of this ever happening. And yet she claimed she saw this happening, if that was true, why didn't she stop it?

Long story short, that was the day my life got turned upside down by my own Mom. The not so funny thing is, she never once brought up that issue again since then, and yet she never apologized for it (not that I'd ever forgive her anyway). Dad has no clue about this issue, by the way.

How did it ruin your life? Or it ruined your relationship with her?

Don't tell me that affected your whole life, like affected your sexuality or your success?

She probably got possessed by her village people.

Indomie build up

so she accused you wrongly and ever since then your life spoilt? let it continue spoiling na. mtcheww

sha keep us updated to the monthly level to which it's spoiling

Chai...what did i just read. True, many are mad but few are roaming about.

She loves you so much, more reason she poured out her anger by uttering such words.

Wow! There are several forrked up people roaming the street! Who says this to a teenage boy in Nigeria bikonu! Double abomination! A regular naija guy is homophobic and incest is a big deal here! Whew! I'm so sorry...matter just tire

Lol, I can't stop laughing.. shit is so funny

I can't imagine my own mum telling me this..

I'll personally ask her if she has gone nuts?

Well this is life..things(shits) happen

Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

Get your mom the help she needs before it's too late.

Agba2020:
I've only told this to one person and I've been carrying this one for 9 years now.
This might turn out to be a little long, so bear with me. When I was 17, a few days to my first WAEC, I was reading in the living room when my mom walked in and falsely accused me of sleeping with my own Dad... Oh, I'm a guy btw. I'm not gay, neither am I effeminate. She claimed she saw my Dad touching me and that he slept with me. I was stunned. I went through different ranges of emotions. At first, I wanted to curse her, then I wanted the ground to swallow me up for real, then I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to scream, tears just filled my eyes, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Why are you doing this?" and then she just walked out. I just sat there losing my mind, I knew it was untrue because there's no way you would penetrate a guy without him feeling it, right? Not to mention the fact that I have no memory of this ever happening. And yet she claimed she saw this happening, if that was true, why didn't she stop it? Long story short, that was the day my life got turned upside down by my own Mom. The not so funny thing is, she never once brought up that issue again since then, and yet she never apologized for it (not that I'd ever forgive her anyway). Dad has no clue about this issue, by the way.

If you want to forget about it, pls do and be happy

If you think you can't forget about it and she still does worst thing, report to dad and let it be settled

But left for me, forget it and forgive her

We forgive others not because they deserve to be forgiven but because you need peace of mind

Yap. Emotional abuse ruin people.

But you've to be mentally strong to survive.
Pick yourself up man.

Move on or the world will pass you by.

heendrix:
Indomie build up

so she accused you wrongly and ever since then your life spoilt? let it continue spoiling na. mtcheww

sha keep us update to the monthly level to which it's spoiling

Eeyah sorry o, mommy's boy. It's quite obvious you know not the kind of weight that words carry, especially when those words come from the person that's supposed to be your shield from the world. I hope ur children never have to go through the kind of mental anguish i've had to go through. Be well.

Janeberryy:
How did it ruin your life? Or it ruined your relationship with her?

Don't tell me that affected your whole life, like affected your sexuality or your success?

Maybe "ruined my life" was a bit of an exagerration, that was mostly so people would check out the thread. It definitely ruined my relationship with not only her, but my Dad as well, because since she said what she said i just couldn't stand the sight of my own Dad anymore. There was a time not long after the accusation when he was talking to me and Dad tried touching me on my arm and i just freaked out, i almost jumped away. It might sound funny, but it really wasn't funny to him, he was just shocked and confused as hell, but i couldn't tell him coz i thought it would only destroy the family, so i just shouldered the burden. It didn't affect my sexuality, but it held me back academically and in life. I was isolated because i had no one to talk to.

frozen70:


If you want to forget about it, pls do and be happy

If you think you can't forget about it and she still does worst thing, report to dad and let it be settled

But left for me, forget it and forgive her

We forgive others not because they deserve it but because you need peace of mind

I didn't report to Dad back then for a few. The first reason being that i was afraid that Dad would throw her out or worse... my Dad has a temper. Secondly, i thought to myself "What if i report this and then she totally denies it?" I mean let's be honest, in Nigeria, when it comes to parents, we tend to put them on pedestals... they can do no wrong. Anyway, those were the reasons why i kept it to myself, but it still haunts me every single day. Oh, and i can't bring it up with them now because they are getting old and that kind of heavy shit could potentially make a person's heart give out.

Ningen:
Yap. Emotional abuse ruins people.

But you've to be mentally strong to survive.
Pick yourself up man.

Move on or the world will pass you by.

I appreciate your comment bro and while i do agree that moving on is the best course of action, it is really hard, extremely so. It's going on 10yrs now, and i still can't get it out of my head, and i'm tempted to just spill it out and maybe see if i might get unburdened. But it's like having a house with many doors, and there's that one door that you cannot dare open, because if you open it, one of two things could happen, things could somehow miraculously or magically get better (highly unlikely) or you could make things infinitely worse. And there's one thing i learned early in life, it's that no matter how bad things are, it could always get worse, much worse. Anyway, peace brother.

Ehyaa

Agba2020:
Maybe "ruined my life" was a bit of an exagerration, that was mostly so people would check out the thread. It definitely ruined my relationship with not only her, but my Dad as well, because since she said what she said i just couldn't stand the sight of my own Dad anymore. There was a time not long after the accusation when he was talking to me and Dad tried touching me on my arm and i just freaked out, i almost jumped away. It might sound funny, but it really wasn't funny to him, he was just shocked and confused as hell, but i couldn't tell him coz i thought it would only destroy the family, so i just shouldered the burden. It didn't affect my sexuality, but it held me back academically and in life. I was isolated because i had no one to talk to.

Now I understand better. I'm sure you way older now. I hope you have let it go or fix something.

If you were to tell your mum she might not remember again. Bury the hatchet and move on.

I think you should Talk to your mother about this. Tell her how this affects you, and if she can, she should confirm her claims.

You don't move on from family, in such a sensitive matter as this.

So inorder for you to be free, let her remember that day and tell you if it really happened, and if not, what pushed her to say what she said.

Parents should be held accountable for their actions and words.

Agba2020:
I didn't report to Dad back then for a few. The first reason being that i was afraid that Dad would throw her out or worse... my Dad has a temper. Secondly, i thought to myself "What if i report this and then she totally denies it?" I mean let's be honest, in Nigeria, when it comes to parents, we tend to put them on pedestals... they can do no wrong. Anyway, those were the reasons why i kept it to myself, but it still haunts me every single day. Oh, and i can't bring it up with them now because they are getting old and that kind of heavy shit could potentially make a person's heart give out.

Your points are very valid

Just learn to forget and forgive her

Keeping it up till this time hurts you more

Worst is that she might have forgotten everything about it

So why nurse still nursing it and bearing more pains

She is your biological mum

Move everything behind pls and stop hurting yourself

The more you store people's provocations in your heart, the heavier it will be for you to carry

The next thing is frustration and depression

One 1 hour therapy session by a competent therapist could heal this memory completely. Why allow this ruin your life and relationships till now? Why allow your mum's weakness or error or mistake to determine your present and your future?

You are now an adult. Take responsibility and heal this issue now. Take charge.

Am not sure u are from Nigeria.

Op. Just forget about it. Sometimes mothers say some pretty hurtful stuffs.

Agba2020:
Maybe "ruined my life" was a bit of an exagerration, that was mostly so people would check out the thread. It definitely ruined my relationship with not only her, but my Dad as well, because since she said what she said i just couldn't stand the sight of my own Dad anymore. There was a time not long after the accusation when he was talking to me and Dad tried touching me on my arm and i just freaked out, i almost jumped away. It might sound funny, but it really wasn't funny to him, he was just shocked and confused as hell, but i couldn't tell him coz i thought it would only destroy the family, so i just shouldered the burden. It didn't affect my sexuality, but it held me back academically and in life. I was isolated because i had no one to talk to.

Guess u re d only child

rawitools:
Am not sure u are from Nigeria.

Why?

merieam16:
Guess u re d only child

There are three of us and I'm the last born.

rawitools:
Am not sure u are from Nigeria.

I am. Born and bred. Why aren't you sure I'm from Nigeria, if you don't mind me asking.

DeeMain:
One 1 hour therapy session by a competent therapist could heal this memory completely. Why allow this ruin your life and relationships till now? Why allow your mum's weakness or error or mistake to determine your present and your future?

You are now an adult. Take responsibility and heal this issue now. Take charge.

Hmm, this is good advice.

IfGodbeforus:
There are certain things people say to us that could be so awkward and so bad.
Atimes it could be a false accusation. A very painful one. When things like this happen, it hurts us so much.

The Truth is that unforgivness hurts the one who bares the grudges . Unforgiveness injurys the one who refuses to let go. For us to be free we Just need to let go. It's not gonna be easy to let go! But we need to let it go.

The Greatest way to let it go , is for you to cast all your burdens on JESUS CHRIST. Ask Him to Heal you, forgive u and set you free. Once that is done, you will Mysteriously see a whole new you.

I appreciate your input, thanks.

Agba2020:
I am. Born and bred. Why aren't you sure I'm from Nigeria, if you don't mind me asking.

baba you would have giving her hot hot outrightly. That’s how Naija men behave.

Agba2020:
There are three of us and I'm the last born.

talk 2 u siblings abt it den or just 4get abt it

Truth b told, dez a lot of weird nd nasty tins our parents talk nd accuse us for. If we keep holdin on 2 tinz dey say or dey av said we wont move forward