thorpido:
Innervation from the nerves from the spinal cord is what gives erection.If the spinal cord is damaged,there will be no erection.

LadySarah:
Leaving because he's bedridden?Babe I know it's very hard for you but who says the grass is greener on the other siaade? Anything can happen to anyone at anytime.I'm not trying to judge you cos you've shown you are strong woman for 2 yrs already.

For a sexually active woman ,the lack of sex can be disturbing.

What I think you should do.
1.choose to be happy.
2.If his penis still works do the riding. If no. Have a talk with him if you can get a Love Machine or a man friend or he can explore you with his hands. Theres no shame in that. Righteous ppl should ignore my post.

3.pls don't stop believing in miracles.

TheArchangel:
SPINAL CORD INJURY SIR. SPINAL CORD INJURY!!!
This is not a guy in coma that can wake up one day. Dude can't care for his basic needs talk more of humping and providing for his family.

She can leave if she want.....

Carchoice:
are you a Christian? If yes try to locate where Jesus resurrected the dead in the Bible.


Table has turned now for a woman to provide for the family, her only escape is to leave? Is it safe to say most married women are not better than this man because they are in the same boat. They don’t do anything but wait for the man to provide.

This your response is disheartening. OP, get me in touch with this man. He needs help.

Aurelius1:
What of a woman with the same problem, will she be able to get aroused?

miniziter:

Don't pray to experience it o. Can you compare the rigidity of a living earthworm to that of cooked plantain?

thorpido:
Innervation from the nerves from the spinal cord is what gives erection.If the spinal cord is damaged,there will be no erection.

Juliusmomoh:

How did u knw E happen to u 24

thorpido:
I work with people who have suffered such fate.

Carchoice:
are you a Christian? If yes try to locate where Jesus resurrected the dead in the Bible.


Table has turned now for a woman to provide for the family, her only escape is to leave? Is it safe to say most married women are not better than this man because they are in the same boat. They don’t do anything but wait for the man to provide.

This your response is disheartening. OP, get me in touch with this man. He needs help.

soonest:


Does work end in providing? Someone takes care and organizes what the man has provided, that's if he's even a sole provider. It's quite disheartening when you people try to downplay a woman's role. If she joins in providing is an added advantage to the husband but providing isn't her major role. It's someone else's role.

TheArchangel:
It is the reality of the world we live in.
For better for worse is for the Bible thumpers.

Carchoice:
why can’t it be her major role in this situation? Are there no women single handedly feeding and raising up to 8 kids and they do fine?

soonest:


That any woman is single handedly doing it when she has a husband who isn't ill doesn't make it right. What then is the man work? [b] A liability?[/b]Show me any man that's single handedly providing, taking care and organizing the home. You all want women to do your work but can't even do 10% of a woman's work.

Now back to the post, her problem isn't about providing, it's about the other one. And the way you say can't it be her major role, so casually, as if it's easy. In this same situation, i bet you can't even offer what you're proposing.

Saintmary:

Oh yes, I am biased. Why?
I am biased because people remember for better or worse when women are in situations like this, but if it were the other way around, they will pat the man in the back.

https://www.nairaland.com/3959073/divorce-journal

Acidosis:
Poor man. Wish he had a grown up. A grown child is more reliable than the useless woman he called a wife. At least, the child can take him in and care for him. This is why people, both men and women alike, put their kids first and do almost anything to make them happy. Even a bastard, in most instances, is more reliable than the regular and typical selfish partner.

Acidosis:
Poor man. Wish he had a grown up. A grown child is more reliable than the useless woman he called a wife. At least, the child can take him in and care for him. This is why people, both men and women alike, put their kids first and do almost anything to make them happy. Even a bastard, in most instances, is more reliable than the regular and typical selfish partner.

Saintmary:

If the table were turned, would he have stayed?
Would you?

cococandy:


Yes a grown up child would be such a blessing in this case. At least the child can help with money for food while the wife pauses her ambitions (whatever they may be) to care for her husband.

But it doesn’t make her useless that she’s feeling frustrated at this point. You wouldn’t be better than her if you were to thrust into the same situation.

Mariangeles:


Why are you being so hard on the woman?
What would you do in such a situation?

Acidosis:


You're concluding on my behalf? It would cost me nothing to give my best. I wouldn't be so frustrated to the point of considering a concubine after 2 years of no sex.

cococandy:


Let me also conclude that your best will include being the provider and hands-on care giver at the bedside.
Maybe you’ll also take her to work with you so that you can be present to clean any mess that she might make while you’re not at home.

Some things are very easy to say from a high moral ground you know but I’m happy to hear that you hope to try. That’s good.

Now keep the ‘hope’ for your theoretical situation to the side and have compassion for someone who is actually going through the situation for REAL

Acidosis:


You're taking this too far. Most single mothers in Nigeria have maids and house helps. I don't have to be physically present all the time to get things done.

Carchoice:
in this same reality some women single handedly raise more than 5 kids and they did well against all odds. Extraordinary things still happen in this same world whether bible or not.

cococandy:

Now we are getting somewhere

Sure you won’t be one the to do it. Like we all suspected.

Ask the OP if she can afford a maid/house help. That’s a first step. The OP complained about being the one cleaning all the mess and has no help from any relatives. Add that to having to find a way to provide, maybe you’ll have a better understanding of why she’s frustrated instead of calling her useless.

You’ll be surprised how that one burden of caregiving (if lifted) will make a difference in her situation.

As for wanting a concubine after two years, it differs from person to person. I know some men who would be frothing at the lips at the thought of no sex for 6 months. How dare you ask them to. But you say you wouldn’t even think of it after two years, that’s commendable for you. Maybe after 10 years you’ll start thinking of it? Makes little difference in my opinion.

Acidosis:


In essence, you support the idea of getting a concubine to service her sexually or outrightly leaving the man because no one seems to support her over a life time contract she signed up for?

You can't be so sure she's been doing it all alone for 2 years BTW. Even if you have a lot of savings, it doesn't make sense to stay out of work for 2 years because you need to take care of a sick or incapacitated partner when your money can get the job done and create time for you to make more money.

Compassion won't change anything here. Make your position known on the matter.

cococandy:
I don’t support her leaving the man. I think that’s too mean. I personally wouldn’t leave.

I also won’t tell her what to do to satisfy herself sexually. Like “please stay celibate for ever“. Or “you need to get a boyfriend”. None of it is a decision someone should be making for her.

She should be grown up enough to decide that one for herself. So if I tell her to go get a concubine only then will she will feel justified to go get one? Who knows, maybe she can arrive at an arrangement with her husband only known between both of them and they can find a way to make the situation work.

I do know that I won’t judge her for whatever sexual decisions she makes to satisfy her needs. Except if she’s being cruel about it.

I also KNOW FOR A FACT that you won’t be writing long moralistic paragraphs to condemn a man who has a girlfriend because his wife is permanently unable to have sex with him. Y’alls moral compass only starts working when it’s a woman’s sexuality that’s being debated. Don’t bother denying it. Seen it one too many times.

That’s my stand on the matter.

missjo:
She never truly loved him, and this is a major problem with our generation - people are ultimately looking out for what they'll gain from their partners but masking all that selfish desire with claims of being in love.

Gosh so many of us would fail this test if we were to find ourselves in the same situation, so while I'm critical of her, I'm also critical of myself because I don't know if I'll be any better.

sassysure:

I actually know a family like this. Guy was wasted with his power bike. He was flown to India straight. Stayed there for like one yr. Money wasn't problem. Had a wife and a new kid. My bobo very close friend. The wife stopped work( they were fulani so the wife didn't open up to us that much even though his husband is very close to mine). I went there again like a yr after and he has started moving some parts of his body though I was told he frequents India like he want to go and wee.
Wife started work again( a banker), at a point he started working again too but from home. An IT guru.
Next thing we heard was that she was pregnant.

Make money o.
At least it will help you to an extent. That guy would have been dead if not for money. I heard about his accident on radio. Never knew I will meet him. I think that lady would have left if not for his background.