₦airaland Forum

ModestGal:
I understand that infatuation is usually attributed to dating and romantic relationships, but this is quite different, I don't think any of the man in this picture actually want to have a relationship with me, has nothing to do with love please. This is not feeling myself, it's a problem I'm humbly seeking your advice and that of people in this beautiful forum to solve

Harllaby:
[color=#000055] Anty, you don't have problem, if dem like you and you connect den go cling around and if you no too like trouble just dey your lane make them dey their lane... Life no add .

Edit: Joke apart: Here's your solution. What type of people are always around you and what type of people do you love to be around with? [/color]

Harllaby:
[color=#000055] Anty, you don't have problem, if dem like you and you connect den go cling around and if you no too like trouble just dey your lane make them dey their lane... Life no add .

Edit: Joke apart: Here's your solution. What type of people are always around you and what type of people do you love to be around with? [/color]

Prof0fficial:
YOU'RE EASY GOING AND INVITING.
(nice but raise little guards to ward off irrelevant company)

ModestGal:
I'm not a weird person, just a Normal lady

ModestGal:
Infatuation is different from true love and likeness. I'm happy when people like me or love me, but what I don't like like is the infatuation there, that is so unhealthy and emotionally draining. It makes me want to run away from them immediately because that's my only way out of trouble, if I don't want to risk being controlled which would make me offend them especially when they are people who are older and higher than me in all ramifications

Ugaboy:
I can reminisce the last time u posted here, u describe how extremely good at everything u fix your hands with. today is how beautiful u are as well as attracting people to yourself.
this your notice me and egoistic attitude is now becoming so intense that one day u'll make a statue of yourself then force this so call people to worship.
dont get me wrong, extremely good people dont wail, productive result hype their status and not noise
ARIWO KAN NI MUSIC O..EMTY BARREL LO MA GBARI'WO

ModestGal:
What do you think we can do about it?

Lekan239:
I see it as a gift

ModestGal:
But sir, I said I'm not beautifully beautiful, just gorgeous in and out. Maybe you didn't understand, it's not the common definition of ccbeautiful'', so it means I am not but a gorgeousness that would take only Angels to see and feel.

Ugaboy:
I can reminisce the last time u posted here, u describe how extremely good at everything u fix your hands with. today is how beautiful u are as well as attracting people to yourself.
this your notice me and egoistic attitude is now becoming so intense that one day u'll make a statue of yourself then force this so call people to worship.
dont get me wrong, extremely good people dont wail, productive result hype their status and not noise
ARIWO KAN NI MUSIC O..EMTY BARREL LO MA GBARI'WO

ModestGal:
I have this problem, 90% of people that come close to me get infatuated with me, not sexually or romantically I think. But this extreme intense feeling of likeness and uncontrollable interest in me that makes absolute no sense to me. Humans get extremely wowed with me, wants to know my in and out in an impatiently funny way, they would want to start an intense friendship/relationship with me, in a very fast funny way. I wont call myself beautiful though, but I'm indeed an Angel in Human form, what I mean is that not like I'm intensely beautiful, but I know I have this Uniqueness, an Angelic presence that is binding, inviting and mouth opening. Also, I do not think I have any features that would be immodestly inviting because many atimes I wear Abaya. I wear only jalamias with big arms and extremely long ones, I don't use make ups either nor do I use powders as I'm fond of rushing out of my house. Of course, I want to be loved,I cherish those that like me, but not in a toxic, weird manner, a healthy one.

I have tried both ways of accepting and rejecting these people, but they all usually end sour. Infact, in a particular case, I almost got my defense paper thrown away by one of these people (a Prof) that got infatuated with me.

It has lead to many haters, sometimes I feel its because I could not return same energy of love and likeness, that's why they end hating me in return, but each time I try to accept these people, it still doesn't end well. But my love/likeness for people actually grows in a healthy way, I don't get wowed at first, or extremely excited like people do to me

It's emotionally draining because I'm naturally a nice person and of course act friendly, and thus it's difficult to manage these people that get infatuated with me

This has nothing to do with dating me please, it happens with both males and females. The females end up doing all sorts of crazy things. Its painful because I don't feel infatuated about anyone, I don't know why people do that to me. I also like people, but usually in a healthy way, and it would definitely be respectful and would end very nicely and the people would always be glad I met them.
Some would say I'm proud, some would say I don't like them, some would just go funnily mute, some would become obsessive,some would want to be controlling, etc.

It makes me to avoid people, when I'm supposed to be happy that I get liked easily by people, I'm usually sad about it, because I know where it would end. It makes me not to want to associate the more, or talk where I am supposed to, or be real me in public
Please share with me how you are able to solve this problem if you have ever been in my shoes, or if you know any way I could stop this from re occurring.

Note** This has nothing to do with dating, or people asking me out, I get healthy people in that region, and no problem there at all
Also, I don't fit in the definition of ''beautiful'' with so many people, it would only take another Angel to see those beauty, so no need dropping any pic
I'm not weird either, I'm a normal human being

ModestGal:
I don't think I'm weird

ModestGal:
I have this problem, 90% of people that come close to me get infatuated with me, not sexually or romantically I think. But this extreme intense feeling of likeness and uncontrollable interest in me that makes absolute no sense to me. Humans get extremely wowed with me, wants to know my in and out in an impatiently funny way, they would want to start an intense friendship/relationship with me, in a very fast funny way. I wont call myself beautiful though, but I'm indeed an Angel in Human form, what I mean is that not like I'm intensely beautiful, but I know I have this Uniqueness, an Angelic presence that is binding, inviting and mouth opening. Also, I do not think I have any features that would be immodestly inviting because many atimes I wear Abaya. I wear only jalamias with big arms and extremely long ones, I don't use make ups either nor do I use powders as I'm fond of rushing out of my house. Of course, I want to be loved,I cherish those that like me, but not in a toxic, weird manner, a healthy one.

I have tried both ways of accepting and rejecting these people, but they all usually end sour. Infact, in a particular case, I almost got my defense paper thrown away by one of these people (a Prof) that got infatuated with me.

It has lead to many haters, sometimes I feel its because I could not return same energy of love and likeness, that's why they end hating me in return, but each time I try to accept these people, it still doesn't end well. But my love/likeness for people actually grows in a healthy way, I don't get wowed at first, or extremely excited like people do to me

It's emotionally draining because I'm naturally a nice person and of course act friendly, and thus it's difficult to manage these people that get infatuated with me

This has nothing to do with dating me please, it happens with both males and females. The females end up doing all sorts of crazy things. Its painful because I don't feel infatuated about anyone, I don't know why people do that to me. I also like people, but usually in a healthy way, and it would definitely be respectful and would end very nicely and the people would always be glad I met them.
Some would say I'm proud, some would say I don't like them, some would just go funnily mute, some would become obsessive,some would want to be controlling, etc.

It makes me to avoid people, when I'm supposed to be happy that I get liked easily by people, I'm usually sad about it, because I know where it would end. It makes me not to want to associate the more, or talk where I am supposed to, or be real me in public
Please share with me how you are able to solve this problem if you have ever been in my shoes, or if you know any way I could stop this from re occurring.

Note** This has nothing to do with dating, or people asking me out, I get healthy people in that region, and no problem there at all
Also, I don't fit in the definition of ''beautiful'' with so many people, it would only take another Angel to see those beauty, so no need dropping any pic
I'm not weird either, I'm a normal human being

wisdomline:
Hello,

First, I believe you. I do not have any reasons to doubt you any ways.

Second, I need for you and everyone advising you to understand that INFATUATION is an intense, but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something. Often, it leads to strange, but dramatic desire to take advantage of the subject. According to you, it does not seem any of these persons wanted to take advantage of you sexually or otherwise.

Also, you did mention how one professor flung your defense papers due to the same reason. This is where I got confused. Would you say, some time, people who got infatuated towards you wanted sex or sought to take undue advantage of you? If not affirmative, I would consider the strange feeling to be pure PLATONIC friendship. The only thing the person desires is, perhaps, reciprocation, mutual respect and admiration.

MY ADVICE:
- You need to reciprocate their gestures because, according to you, it does not seem it would stop any time soon.

- You need to keep such relationship as mutual as possible.

- If possible, do not go too close to them or avoid such persons altogether.

- Where the preceding is not possible, work on yourself to develop certain soft skills such as strong listening skills, strong tolerance, empathy, among others.

- Avoid unhealthy or provocative conversations as much as possible. You could subtly change subjects of discussions just to keep the party on your line of thought. Remember, never to get drawn into any form of arguments.

- The biggest part is to work on yourself. Savour the love shown, but remember to draw the line. Set personal bounds such as above. This way, you should be able to NOT get into the other side of toxic relationship.

Cheers!

ModestGal:
Wow, you won my heart. I never knew we still have many wise people like this on this Earth.
Thanks for all the tips, and I'm glad you understood my write-up, this is why I'm starting to think majority of Nigerians are dumb, check this post of mine and you would see jealousy, hatred, only few were sensible to reason along.

Well, infatuation may not really be the right word since there's no sexual feelings attached, but I don't know what else to use for a ''short loved intense likeness that often lead to those people angry when I'm unable to flow along'', what I know is the likeness is usually too deep for a beginning relationship, and its usually exhausting for me to keep up with them because I would have to FAKE and FAKE, and at the end, I would just give up.

Would like to be your friend if you don't mind, I believe I would learn alot from you, and I would also be beneficicial in some way (mutual friendship) if you agree, kindly chat me directly through the link on my signature