₦airaland Forum

God no go shame us

Ochason:
I wanted to post my story for advise and opinions on this matter.

My wife and I have been married for 8 years and we really have not had any issues until now. The whole situation started about 5 months ago. I think it was early January. We just launched our second business branch and my wife threw a party for us.I am into real estate and other strings of businesses. Last year was a good year for us. Our business grew and we expanded by opening one more branch office here in Port Harcourt (not real location). My wife,who is our Business development strategist came up with an office opening party so we can invite dignitaries and celebrities to come and even invest more in our businesses. My wife decided to engage her friend that is a top event planner to handle the event. The event was successful no doubt,everything was just glamorous. Then,there was another part of the event that moved to the club that night. We were all having fun. And then,my wife’s friend who planned the earlier event showed up looking really well dressed..more like very s*xy outfit. Of course,lot of people were dressed to kill at the party. In a lit party like this,one should expect some serious drinking and some inappropriate behaviors. It was clear,my wife’s friend was getting a little more than tipsy. She was doing a little too much and my wife was concerned. I tried to call my Driver to come take her home but the foolish guy was drinking somewhere and didnt pick my call. My wife agreed that I escort her friend to go sleep in our SUV until the Driver shows up. I guided her friend to our car and tried to get her inside to sleep but things took a different turn. She was drunk and started to pull me to kiss her. she was rubbing on me and telling me she wants me. I knew it was the alcohol talking but she kept on and on. Begging me to kiss her so she can sleep. No one was looking and I gave her a small kiss just to let her feel she got what she wanted. Of course she wanted more but I didn’t oblige her. I put on the AC for her and pulled the seat back for her to rest. As I walked away,I finally got through the Driver and he came to take her home. I thought that was the last I would hear of what just happened but I was wrong. Two days later,this lady starts to chat me and saying she wants to see me. I thought it was a joke. She said things like she knows I want her too cos I kissed her at the club 2 days ago. She kept confessing her love for me and how she cannot control herself. To be honest,this is not the first time women would throw themselves at me but this is the first time,a friend of my wife would do such a thing. I asked her what if my wife finds out and she replied me with a bomb: she said..she does not care because my wife is also not a saint. What?!!!!..what did she mean by that? I asked her to explain and she said she cannot tell me because she swore never to tell anyone but that my wife has definitely been with someone else but me.At this time,I was getting really worked up. I told her she was bluffing and she said I was being naive. I told her I would ask my wife…she said she would deny but that does not mean its not true. She would deny because she swore to keep my wife’s secret.
So,in order to play her game,I told her I would sleep with her if she told me who my wife was cheating with. She agreed. She sent me lots dirty messages and told me to meet her at a hotel that night. And then,I asked her: how do I know you are not trying to set me up and walking into a trap? My wife’s friend then gave details. She said my wife and I were having issues just a few months before our wedding,I said yes!…she said because of the issues…my wife was doubting my loyalty and she went back to her ex and slept with him. And that they were seeing each other even after we got married until like 4 months after marriage.
I knew this woman is desperate but this information she just released scattered my brain. I drove straight to see my wife and straight up told her what her friend just told me. My wife began to act shocked and pretend that her friend was lying so I told her, I have recorded conversations (which I really didn’t have)and if she pushed me to release these conversations, it would be over between us.
At that point,my wife broke down and started crying. She then confessed to having gone back to her ex when we were having issues weeks before our wedding. But she swore on her children’s’ lives that it did not continue after we got married.
However,her ex went to tell her friend that they were seeing each other which was a lie. That her ex wanted her back by all means and was telling lies that I was not treating her well and that she misses her ex and wants to come back but she is stuck in the marriage.
All these revelation was too much for me to bear. I told my wife to leave our home but she refused so I took a my things and went to the company guest house where I have been. I have been so angry and betrayed that I do not know what to do.
I never planned to be a divorcee. I love my wife. She is very instrumental to the success of my business …but how do we work through this when she has betrayed me like this? And she is insisting the affair ended when we got married….the affair before marriage is hurtful because we were still engaged even at that time but if it continued after…I cannot live like this.

How then,do I believe she may be telling the truth? Trust has been thrown out of the window. Our families have been trying to reconcile us but as a man,I have never been so hurt and emotional in all my life. I trusted my wife with all my life.

I finally agreed for us to see our Pastor last week to counsel us but it ended up in a disaster. I recognize I was still angry and I was shouting and my wife was crying uncontrollably saying I do not believe her but I believe a woman who is trying to ruin our marriage.

Well,if her friend is trying to ruin our marriage…she caused it..she allowed it. We both left distraught and later that night,the friend showed up in my guest house. She told me that she came to beg for me to forgive her friend. But you should have seen what she wore. The most see through outfit and as soon as I allowed her to sit down,she came hard on me.
Pushing her away was my first thought. But I felt so angry that I also wanted to revenge my wife and I started responding to her. I was ready to make love to this woman but I stopped and told her to leave. Since then,she has been determined to make me sleep with her.

I felt I needed space but the more space I need,the more s*xual temptations are coming my way. And yes,I would be justified if I give in right? After all…my wife did it first? Maybe if I did…I would feel better and maybe be able to forgive her after we are even.

I miss my wife but how do I trust her….I feel tempted to sleep with someone else. Its not that hard for men…I do not know how much more I can resist the temptation. How can I be sure that my wife is telling the truth? How do I know the affair ended after our marriage?

Will I be able to trust her again? Is there any hope for our marriage?

Trust me, do not think of committing adultery in order to even things out with your wife. Come to think of it again, you told your wife that you have recordings of her infidelity before and after marriage, she confessed to cheating before marriage and not after (not that its any better though)... Doesn't that count as something? It clearly shows that this evil friend is aggrevating the situation so as to tear you two apart.

The devil hates peaceful homes and he has decided to use a friend to ruin things for you two. I suggest that you shame the devil. Please try and work out an angle at forgiving your wife, for the sake of your children and other factors pertinent to you. If you cannot, its best you let her go rather than cheat on her (on grounds of evening things out). May God give you the wisdom and the heart to forgive.

Jupron:
Betrayal hurts. What makes even hurting the more is when we've placed much trust and confidence only to have it shattered.


Give yourself time. Don't be spontaneous and impulsive in trying to resolve this with the intensity of the situation. The Right way to go about it will come to you on a clearer mind.


There's no divorce here. Just patience and allowing time to do its work

God bless you! Time heals all wounds.

culf:
forgiveness is key. Its likely the affair didn't continue after marriage, as such, I will encourage you to try to forgive her.

Two wrongs doesn't make a right. Cheating on her won't make things better and if you must cheat (which I'm not encouraging you) it shouldn't be with her friend.

Sir, I won't advise him to cheat. Even if he wants to cheat, it shouldn't be because of this issue. Truth is, this scar may take a lifetime to heal. Thus, he would have to cheat for a lifetime.

Many ladies have tasted, sucked and fvcked a lot of dicks before getting married. Any person that acted bitterly, harshly and aggressively to his or her partner for engaging in conversation with another person of the opposite sex or for having a meeting together shows he has been unfaithful in previous relationship with someone else and will not want to be served with what he or she did in the past

Ochason:
I wanted to post my story for advise and opinions on this matter.

My wife and I have been married for 8 years and we really have not had any issues until now. The whole situation started about 5 months ago. I think it was early January. We just launched our second business branch and my wife threw a party for us.I am into real estate and other strings of businesses. Last year was a good year for us. Our business grew and we expanded by opening one more branch office here in Port Harcourt (not real location). My wife,who is our Business development strategist came up with an office opening party so we can invite dignitaries and celebrities to come and even invest more in our businesses. My wife decided to engage her friend that is a top event planner to handle the event. The event was successful no doubt,everything was just glamorous. Then,there was another part of the event that moved to the club that night. We were all having fun. And then,my wife’s friend who planned the earlier event showed up looking really well dressed..more like very s*xy outfit. Of course,lot of people were dressed to kill at the party. In a lit party like this,one should expect some serious drinking and some inappropriate behaviors. It was clear,my wife’s friend was getting a little more than tipsy. She was doing a little too much and my wife was concerned. I tried to call my Driver to come take her home but the foolish guy was drinking somewhere and didnt pick my call. My wife agreed that I escort her friend to go sleep in our SUV until the Driver shows up. I guided her friend to our car and tried to get her inside to sleep but things took a different turn. She was drunk and started to pull me to kiss her. she was rubbing on me and telling me she wants me. I knew it was the alcohol talking but she kept on and on. Begging me to kiss her so she can sleep. No one was looking and I gave her a small kiss just to let her feel she got what she wanted. Of course she wanted more but I didn’t oblige her. I put on the AC for her and pulled the seat back for her to rest. As I walked away,I finally got through the Driver and he came to take her home. I thought that was the last I would hear of what just happened but I was wrong. Two days later,this lady starts to chat me and saying she wants to see me. I thought it was a joke. She said things like she knows I want her too cos I kissed her at the club 2 days ago. She kept confessing her love for me and how she cannot control herself. To be honest,this is not the first time women would throw themselves at me but this is the first time,a friend of my wife would do such a thing. I asked her what if my wife finds out and she replied me with a bomb: she said..she does not care because my wife is also not a saint. What?!!!!..what did she mean by that? I asked her to explain and she said she cannot tell me because she swore never to tell anyone but that my wife has definitely been with someone else but me.At this time,I was getting really worked up. I told her she was bluffing and she said I was being naive. I told her I would ask my wife…she said she would deny but that does not mean its not true. She would deny because she swore to keep my wife’s secret.
So,in order to play her game,I told her I would sleep with her if she told me who my wife was cheating with. She agreed. She sent me lots dirty messages and told me to meet her at a hotel that night. And then,I asked her: how do I know you are not trying to set me up and walking into a trap? My wife’s friend then gave details. She said my wife and I were having issues just a few months before our wedding,I said yes!…she said because of the issues…my wife was doubting my loyalty and she went back to her ex and slept with him. And that they were seeing each other even after we got married until like 4 months after marriage.
I knew this woman is desperate but this information she just released scattered my brain. I drove straight to see my wife and straight up told her what her friend just told me. My wife began to act shocked and pretend that her friend was lying so I told her, I have recorded conversations (which I really didn’t have)and if she pushed me to release these conversations, it would be over between us.
At that point,my wife broke down and started crying. She then confessed to having gone back to her ex when we were having issues weeks before our wedding. But she swore on her children’s’ lives that it did not continue after we got married.
However,her ex went to tell her friend that they were seeing each other which was a lie. That her ex wanted her back by all means and was telling lies that I was not treating her well and that she misses her ex and wants to come back but she is stuck in the marriage.
All these revelation was too much for me to bear. I told my wife to leave our home but she refused so I took a my things and went to the company guest house where I have been. I have been so angry and betrayed that I do not know what to do.
I never planned to be a divorcee. I love my wife. She is very instrumental to the success of my business …but how do we work through this when she has betrayed me like this? And she is insisting the affair ended when we got married….the affair before marriage is hurtful because we were still engaged even at that time but if it continued after…I cannot live like this.

How then,do I believe she may be telling the truth? Trust has been thrown out of the window. Our families have been trying to reconcile us but as a man,I have never been so hurt and emotional in all my life. I trusted my wife with all my life.

I finally agreed for us to see our Pastor last week to counsel us but it ended up in a disaster. I recognize I was still angry and I was shouting and my wife was crying uncontrollably saying I do not believe her but I believe a woman who is trying to ruin our marriage.

Well,if her friend is trying to ruin our marriage…she caused it..she allowed it. We both left distraught and later that night,the friend showed up in my guest house. She told me that she came to beg for me to forgive her friend. But you should have seen what she wore. The most see through outfit and as soon as I allowed her to sit down,she came hard on me.
Pushing her away was my first thought. But I felt so angry that I also wanted to revenge my wife and I started responding to her. I was ready to make love to this woman but I stopped and told her to leave. Since then,she has been determined to make me sleep with her.

I felt I needed space but the more space I need,the more s*xual temptations are coming my way. And yes,I would be justified if I give in right? After all…my wife did it first? Maybe if I did…I would feel better and maybe be able to forgive her after we are even.

I miss my wife but how do I trust her….I feel tempted to sleep with someone else. Its not that hard for men…I do not know how much more I can resist the temptation. How can I be sure that my wife is telling the truth? How do I know the affair ended after our marriage?

Will I be able to trust her again? Is there any hope for our marriage?

just do a paternity test for your kids and forgive her.

Op, I feel your pain, the issue here is that trust is very vital in marriage, once it is broken, it is really difficult to regain.Op you are the only person that can advise yourself,he who wears the shoes knows where it pinches.

Ochason:
I wanted to post my story for advise and opinions on this matter.

My wife and I have been married for 8 years and we really have not had any issues until now. The whole situation started about 5 months ago. I think it was early January. We just launched our second business branch

Will I be able to trust her again? Is there any hope for our marriage?

Why would you be giving yourself headache over an incident that happened almost 10 years ago??

Pm me. Can't say what I wanna say here.

Marry a virgin and save yourself from all these "ex' dramas in marriage.

aragonchuks:
God no go shame us

Amen bro.

A lot of u commenting that he is taking things too far, it happened in the past are all idiots. Someone ur engaged to be married to went back to her ex because u both had misunderstanding and opened her pussie for the hungry beast to smash and pour inside and all u idiots can say is it happened in the past What if they have serious misunderstanding in the future Who says she wouldn't go back to find solace in the arms of the other man I can forgive anything but a cheating wife. No be by force to stay married abeg.

Ochason:
I wanted to post my story for advise and opinions on this matter.

My wife and I have been married for 8 years and we really have not had any issues until now. The whole situation started about 5 months ago. I think it was early January. We just launched our second business branch and my wife threw a party for us.I am into real estate and other strings of businesses. Last year was a good year for us. Our business grew and we expanded by opening one more branch office here in Port Harcourt (not real location). My wife,who is our Business development strategist came up with an office opening party so we can invite dignitaries and celebrities to come and even invest more in our businesses. My wife decided to engage her friend that is a top event planner to handle the event. The event was successful no doubt,everything was just glamorous. Then,there was another part of the event that moved to the club that night. We were all having fun. And then,my wife’s friend who planned the earlier event showed up looking really well dressed..more like very s*xy outfit. Of course,lot of people were dressed to kill at the party. In a lit party like this,one should expect some serious drinking and some inappropriate behaviors. It was clear,my wife’s friend was getting a little more than tipsy. She was doing a little too much and my wife was concerned. I tried to call my Driver to come take her home but the foolish guy was drinking somewhere and didnt pick my call. My wife agreed that I escort her friend to go sleep in our SUV until the Driver shows up. I guided her friend to our car and tried to get her inside to sleep but things took a different turn. She was drunk and started to pull me to kiss her. she was rubbing on me and telling me she wants me. I knew it was the alcohol talking but she kept on and on. Begging me to kiss her so she can sleep. No one was looking and I gave her a small kiss just to let her feel she got what she wanted. Of course she wanted more but I didn’t oblige her. I put on the AC for her and pulled the seat back for her to rest. As I walked away,I finally got through the Driver and he came to take her home. I thought that was the last I would hear of what just happened but I was wrong. Two days later,this lady starts to chat me and saying she wants to see me. I thought it was a joke. She said things like she knows I want her too cos I kissed her at the club 2 days ago. She kept confessing her love for me and how she cannot control herself. To be honest,this is not the first time women would throw themselves at me but this is the first time,a friend of my wife would do such a thing. I asked her what if my wife finds out and she replied me with a bomb: she said..she does not care because my wife is also not a saint. What?!!!!..what did she mean by that? I asked her to explain and she said she cannot tell me because she swore never to tell anyone but that my wife has definitely been with someone else but me.At this time,I was getting really worked up. I told her she was bluffing and she said I was being naive. I told her I would ask my wife…she said she would deny but that does not mean its not true. She would deny because she swore to keep my wife’s secret.
So,in order to play her game,I told her I would sleep with her if she told me who my wife was cheating with. She agreed. She sent me lots dirty messages and told me to meet her at a hotel that night. And then,I asked her: how do I know you are not trying to set me up and walking into a trap? My wife’s friend then gave details. She said my wife and I were having issues just a few months before our wedding,I said yes!…she said because of the issues…my wife was doubting my loyalty and she went back to her ex and slept with him. And that they were seeing each other even after we got married until like 4 months after marriage.
I knew this woman is desperate but this information she just released scattered my brain. I drove straight to see my wife and straight up told her what her friend just told me. My wife began to act shocked and pretend that her friend was lying so I told her, I have recorded conversations (which I really didn’t have)and if she pushed me to release these conversations, it would be over between us.
At that point,my wife broke down and started crying. She then confessed to having gone back to her ex when we were having issues weeks before our wedding. But she swore on her children’s’ lives that it did not continue after we got married.
However,her ex went to tell her friend that they were seeing each other which was a lie. That her ex wanted her back by all means and was telling lies that I was not treating her well and that she misses her ex and wants to come back but she is stuck in the marriage.
All these revelation was too much for me to bear. I told my wife to leave our home but she refused so I took a my things and went to the company guest house where I have been. I have been so angry and betrayed that I do not know what to do.
I never planned to be a divorcee. I love my wife. She is very instrumental to the success of my business …but how do we work through this when she has betrayed me like this? And she is insisting the affair ended when we got married….the affair before marriage is hurtful because we were still engaged even at that time but if it continued after…I cannot live like this.

How then,do I believe she may be telling the truth? Trust has been thrown out of the window. Our families have been trying to reconcile us but as a man,I have never been so hurt and emotional in all my life. I trusted my wife with all my life.

I finally agreed for us to see our Pastor last week to counsel us but it ended up in a disaster. I recognize I was still angry and I was shouting and my wife was crying uncontrollably saying I do not believe her but I believe a woman who is trying to ruin our marriage.

Well,if her friend is trying to ruin our marriage…she caused it..she allowed it. We both left distraught and later that night,the friend showed up in my guest house. She told me that she came to beg for me to forgive her friend. But you should have seen what she wore. The most see through outfit and as soon as I allowed her to sit down,she came hard on me.
Pushing her away was my first thought. But I felt so angry that I also wanted to revenge my wife and I started responding to her. I was ready to make love to this woman but I stopped and told her to leave. Since then,she has been determined to make me sleep with her.

I felt I needed space but the more space I need,the more s*xual temptations are coming my way. And yes,I would be justified if I give in right? After all…my wife did it first? Maybe if I did…I would feel better and maybe be able to forgive her after we are even.

I miss my wife but how do I trust her….I feel tempted to sleep with someone else. Its not that hard for men…I do not know how much more I can resist the temptation. How can I be sure that my wife is telling the truth? How do I know the affair ended after our marriage?

Will I be able to trust her again? Is there any hope for our marriage?

Na wa ooo

First of all, i want to use this man present ordeal to lambast every biiiaaatch in nigeria pretending to be righteously brought up demanding they deserve good guys when they internally corrupt like everything asorock stands for.

Now to the op

First of all

Reach inward to check if you can still love your wife ? By that i mean, do you still feel that connection to whatever that thing is which nurtured your love for ger in the first place, that thing the sole core of your love for her is founded on, if the answer is NO, baba i jo go lie you can never love her ever again so i advice you free her but not without dealing with that fvcking marriage ruining biiiaaatch of her friend.

If the answer is Yes, then hold on to her for reasons i just cant go into now, but most especially for marriage saving grace as e no dey make sense wen something wey don dey gell gone go sour because of one skank. Ensure you impose strict rules and laws on the wifey it is required of her to do until she can earn your trust again, while dats going on, abeg you make sure you ruin that daughter of a biaaaatch, I can give you ideas for free.

Take heart baba

tiswell:
Marry a virgin and save yourself from all these "ex' dramas in marriage.

E easy to see virgin?

Dem no dey write am for face

Beside what does marrying a virgin have to do in the prevention of this kind of situation?

tiswell:
Marry a virgin and save yourself from all these "ex' dramas in marriage.

Honestly any small fight most babes done go fvck their ex or one of her male friends on friendzone like they have been waiting for an excuse to. I am beginning to see the wisdom in this method of marrying a virgin. I never really saw any importance in it... Afterall I'm very experienced i will spoil her to be freaky like me.

CODEIN:
E easy to see virgin?

Dem no dey write am for face

Beside what does marrying a virgin have to do in the prevention of this kind of situation?

The ex fvcker factor

Kobicove:
Why would you be giving yourself headache over an incident that happened almost 10 years ago??

1.She betrayed him while smiling in his face.
2. She kept such secret from him her supposed lover, friend and confidant.
3. She lied
4. She is a fraud
5. She allowed someone else fvck her and cum deep in her.. Lol who knows if his children are all his.

If you can swallow such behaviors from any woman then u are a bloody fool. Whether it happened 10 or 100 years ago

Man, you have to be sensitive,smart,vigilant and try to be a discipline and responsible man because there's fire on the mountain to destroy you and your life entirely.
That your wife's friend is upto something she's not happy with the success of your family so her plan is to destroy your family now and your future because she's been raised from the realm of darkness to destroy your family through having sex with you,that's what led her to all those open secrets, for her to get your weak point and ruin the shining glory in front of you with the help of your wife, go away from that your wife's friend,give your wife last chance,embrace her back and tell devil that is a loser...May God help you

CODEIN:
E easy to see virgin?

Dem no dey write am for face

Beside what does marrying a virgin have to do in the prevention of this kind of situation?

It has a lot to do bro, it sure has.

dairykidd:
Honestly any small fight most babes done go fvck their ex or one of her male friends on friendzone like they have been waiting for an excuse to. I am beginning to see the wisdom in this method of marrying a virgin. I never really saw any importance in it... Afterall I'm very experienced i will spoil her to be freaky like me.

I tell you from experience.

tiswell:
It has a lot to do bro, it sure has.

How so,

Explain make i hear na

dairykidd:
2. She kept such secret from him her supposed lover,

Na your number 2 i wan tackle the rest get Sensedine

And so i ask...

If your wife to be reveal to you she had one last fling with her ex lover days or weeks or months to your wedding marriage, you go still reason am to go on with the marriage?

Idonije8:
can you even imagine? E put the lady life in danger! You should have kept it well and act matured you should kept the lady secret she could have told you more

Exactly my point bro... But instead OP went gaga

dairykidd:
The ex fvcker factor

See this one...u really be kid still needing dairy milk

U never hear of the post-fucker factor

When the puccy disvirgined by your nacker itches the once a virgin wife to seek out other types of nackers even if it just for a taste, the urge to explore,

Juliearth:
Sir, I won't advise him to cheat. Even if he wants to cheat, it shouldn't be because of this issue. Truth is, this scar may take a lifetime to heal. Thus, he would have to cheat for a lifetime.

You're right. Please know that I didn't encourage him to cheat.
once he cheat, it will continue, he won't be able to stop and its not good.

op, to err is human, to forgive is divine.

You have to bring up your divine nature to forgive her after all everyone has a past.
You are not exempted too as you are not innocent.

If it were me, family no go hear th issue.

I don't want to stress this talk, you're no longer a boy in marriage. 8 years is no joke.
Forgive her and enjoy your marriage.

For that, her scatter marriage friend, just stay off her or else you will be in for serious blackmail when your marriage is restored.
That lady would not stop at anything to destroy your home.
A word is enough for the wise. Stay off her.

The most important thing is to go and have a DNA test on those children. If she can lie for that long there's nothing she can't do!

If Will go forgive Jada.. Oga na to forgive and forget

Give me her number, let me preach to her

Na how many times una wan post this story na.. Na the fourth time be dis I dey read this story for here...

Forgiveur wife nd secretly do DNA test

CODEIN:
See this one...u really be kid still needing dairy milk

U never hear of the post-fucker factor

When the puccy disvirgined by your nacker itches the once a virgin wife to seek out other types of nackers even if it just for a taste, the urge to explore,

Premarital Sex is an addiction. Same way as tobacco and drugs.

Taa! Liar!!. A Virgin is a Virgin because of her principles and habits. If a Virgin can navigate the hoe stage untouched, you think your wrinkled old dick will entice her to cheat.?

A Virgin never cheats on her husbands.

All cheats in marriage are from non virgins.
You marry an olossho and expect a wedding ceremony to change her. You are a joker. All no virgins cheat multiple times in their marriage. Only few percentage are caught.