₦airaland Forum

Ochason:
I wanted to post my story for advise and opinions on this matter...

Facts

1. Op, you CHEATED when you kissed your wife's
friend in that SUV for whatever reason.
2. Op, your wife's friend wants to ruin your happy
marriage probably due to envy for her friend,your
wife.
3. Op, if your wife's friend didn't pester you for more
and leak your wife's dirt, you would have swept the
kiss you gave her under the carpet and your wife
would never know about it.
4. Op, you CHEATED when you kissed your wife's
friend.
5. Op, you would have hid the fact that you cheated
under the self righteousness of 'It was only a Kiss.'

Friendly advice: Op, you are not the victim. Both of you cheated. Work on your marriage and I'd recommend you first accept the fact that although your wife bleeped around when you had issues and you kissed her friend because she's drunk, the both of you owe yourselves the need to make the marriage work.

Also work on your mental strength. By this I mean, imagine the worst about the people you Love and decide if you can forgive them BEFORE that worst happens.

Nobody is infallible.

I'll end with my favourite quote: "Everything and Everyone Will Disappoint you at any point. All it takes, is time."

xband:
I know you really want revenge, so my advice for you is to go ahead. So that your mind will be at peace.

na wa ooooh which kyn advice be dis naaa

Kaycee54321:
Facts

1. Op, you CHEATED when you kissed your wife's
friend in that SUV for whatever reason.
2. Op, your wife's friend wants to ruin your happy
marriage probably due to envy for her friend,your
wife.
3. Op, if your wife's friend didn't pester you for more
and leak your wife's dirt, you would have swept the
kiss you gave her under the carpet and your wife
would never know about it.
4. Op, you CHEATED when you kissed your wife's
friend.
5. Op, you would have hid the fact that you cheated
under the self righteousness of 'It was only a Kiss.'

Friendly advice: Op, you are not the victim. Both of you cheated. Work on your marriage and I'd recommend you first accept the fact that although your wife bleeped around when you had issues and you kissed her friend because she's drunk, the both of you owe yourselves the need to make the marriage work.

Also work on your mental strength. By this I mean, imagine the worst about the people you Love and decide if you can forgive them BEFORE that worst happens.

Nobody is infallible.

I'll end with my favourite quote: "Everything and Everyone Will Disappoint you at any point. All it takes, is time."

very true sir
2 cold bottles for you sir

ibkonekt:
copy and paste topic...gotten from a blog.

https://www.nairaland.com/5946522/wifes-friend-tried-seduce-me#91006411

Chai.. All these sensational topics eh can give someone hbp. Thank you for saving me the stress of dishing any advice

culf:
You're right. Please know that I didn't encourage him to cheat.
once he cheat, it will continue, he won't be able to stop and its not good.

Yes, this is my thought and fear too. May God help him overcome this one.

ayoncox:
Brother move on, the devil wants to break your marriage and then your home. Make it public call your wife, call the lady. Tell them you don't want to see them together again, else it is over with your marriage. Do not give the devil a chance in your marriage because it will spoil everything that has been going on good.

The devil is not happy with your success and he is using ur wife's friend to destroy your marriage. Only you have the power to stop and I believe u will

This hurts like hell. Having to trust someone , especially a spouse so much and they break it . People handle pain differently and you just have to find your own module . Sentiments aside , Take all the alone time you need , you need the recess .. What your wife did was wrong on all count .. broken trust is so hard to fix .... however , it is not impossible

I dont know why peoole hardly keep their end of the bargain ... regardless .. i want to believe the ENTANGLEMENT detangled after your marriage .....As for her friend , im speechless ... please she aint any better .... im sure you are considering getting even .... but what would that change ?

OP, weigh your options , i mean this is your wife ... like you rightly pointed out SHE has been very instrumental... that is something ... if that counts for you...

Does she make you happy ?
has your journey with her been worth the ride ? do not let sentiment becloud your better sense of judgement..

At this point i would encourage you to put yourself first , what decision would make you happy ? Remember no home can strive under unforgiveness ... It hurts but Only you can decide what is best for you.

Guy I have only one advice for you throw the bitch out, don't listen to all these nonsense forgive your wife from the posters here, if you follow their advice you would regret it in the future.

CODEIN:
Na your number 2 i wan tackle the rest get Sensedine

And so i ask...

If your wife to be reveal to you she had one last fling with her ex lover days or weeks or months to your wedding marriage, you go still reason am to go on with the marriage?

NO

if u sleep with the other woman, your confidence will disappear if eventually you resolve the problems with your wife, and it will be worse if she find out of which she will because that same devil will gladly tell her out of spite, then you will see what's it's like to have a broken, depressed wife, compared to how you knew her to be, don't start what will make you shed tears without any water droplets, it's worse than killing your wife, if u want to do, try it with someone not even close to your family at all but I don't advise you should , as long as the children are yours, make up with your wife, those children are key to your decision, u won't regret it.

Ex now acts as a spare when the original is faulty.


I really don't have any comments on this type of post, but seeing what you people have achieved I think you guys should stick together and get rid of that friend.

Do a paternity test on your first child.

If the child's yours then forgive her and forget.

If not, divorce her

Or

You can still forgive her, after all what is marriage all about??

Good luck

sleeping with your wife's friend will be the greatest mistake you've ever made and just the beginning of your disaster... I won't say more than that

hmm this ur story sounds straight out of a romantic novel series.i had say do what u feel its right for u

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr

All these long long stories self

Although i read everything
But as a real niggarrr i will say forgiveness is what is necessary here
Just forgive her

Chai! This motherfvcker shock me today are you sure you're the one that typed that

dairykidd:
NO

Shake me

Op go back to your wife before that Jezebel finally destroys what is left of your marriage.

The same way you felt helpless when the lady came to your guest house is just a fraction of how your madam felt with someone she had been involved with.

She had made mistakes In the past which she had repented of...take her back and forgive her if for nothing else for her resourcefulness, your kids and the love you have for her however bruised.

As humans the lures of the flesh could be overwhelming.

Ochason:
I wanted to post my story for advise and opinions on this matter.

My wife and I have been married for 8 years and we really have not had any issues until now. The whole situation started about 5 months ago. I think it was early January. We just launched our second business branch and my wife threw a party for us.I am into real estate and other strings of businesses. Last year was a good year for us. Our business grew and we expanded by opening one more branch office here in Port Harcourt (not real location). My wife,who is our Business development strategist came up with an office opening party so we can invite dignitaries and celebrities to come and even invest more in our businesses. My wife decided to engage her friend that is a top event planner to handle the event. The event was successful no doubt,everything was just glamorous. Then,there was another part of the event that moved to the club that night. We were all having fun. And then,my wife’s friend who planned the earlier event showed up looking really well dressed..more like very s*xy outfit. Of course,lot of people were dressed to kill at the party. In a lit party like this,one should expect some serious drinking and some inappropriate behaviors. It was clear,my wife’s friend was getting a little more than tipsy. She was doing a little too much and my wife was concerned. I tried to call my Driver to come take her home but the foolish guy was drinking somewhere and didnt pick my call. My wife agreed that I escort her friend to go sleep in our SUV until the Driver shows up. I guided her friend to our car and tried to get her inside to sleep but things took a different turn. She was drunk and started to pull me to kiss her. she was rubbing on me and telling me she wants me. I knew it was the alcohol talking but she kept on and on. Begging me to kiss her so she can sleep. No one was looking and I gave her a small kiss just to let her feel she got what she wanted. Of course she wanted more but I didn’t oblige her. I put on the AC for her and pulled the seat back for her to rest. As I walked away,I finally got through the Driver and he came to take her home. I thought that was the last I would hear of what just happened but I was wrong. Two days later,this lady starts to chat me and saying she wants to see me. I thought it was a joke. She said things like she knows I want her too cos I kissed her at the club 2 days ago. She kept confessing her love for me and how she cannot control herself. To be honest,this is not the first time women would throw themselves at me but this is the first time,a friend of my wife would do such a thing. I asked her what if my wife finds out and she replied me with a bomb: she said..she does not care because my wife is also not a saint. What?!!!!..what did she mean by that? I asked her to explain and she said she cannot tell me because she swore never to tell anyone but that my wife has definitely been with someone else but me.At this time,I was getting really worked up. I told her she was bluffing and she said I was being naive. I told her I would ask my wife…she said she would deny but that does not mean its not true. She would deny because she swore to keep my wife’s secret.
So,in order to play her game,I told her I would sleep with her if she told me who my wife was cheating with. She agreed. She sent me lots dirty messages and told me to meet her at a hotel that night. And then,I asked her: how do I know you are not trying to set me up and walking into a trap? My wife’s friend then gave details. She said my wife and I were having issues just a few months before our wedding,I said yes!…she said because of the issues…my wife was doubting my loyalty and she went back to her ex and slept with him. And that they were seeing each other even after we got married until like 4 months after marriage.
I knew this woman is desperate but this information she just released scattered my brain. I drove straight to see my wife and straight up told her what her friend just told me. My wife began to act shocked and pretend that her friend was lying so I told her, I have recorded conversations (which I really didn’t have)and if she pushed me to release these conversations, it would be over between us.
At that point,my wife broke down and started crying. She then confessed to having gone back to her ex when we were having issues weeks before our wedding. But she swore on her children’s’ lives that it did not continue after we got married.
However,her ex went to tell her friend that they were seeing each other which was a lie. That her ex wanted her back by all means and was telling lies that I was not treating her well and that she misses her ex and wants to come back but she is stuck in the marriage.
All these revelation was too much for me to bear. I told my wife to leave our home but she refused so I took a my things and went to the company guest house where I have been. I have been so angry and betrayed that I do not know what to do.
I never planned to be a divorcee. I love my wife. She is very instrumental to the success of my business …but how do we work through this when she has betrayed me like this? And she is insisting the affair ended when we got married….the affair before marriage is hurtful because we were still engaged even at that time but if it continued after…I cannot live like this.

How then,do I believe she may be telling the truth? Trust has been thrown out of the window. Our families have been trying to reconcile us but as a man,I have never been so hurt and emotional in all my life. I trusted my wife with all my life.

I finally agreed for us to see our Pastor last week to counsel us but it ended up in a disaster. I recognize I was still angry and I was shouting and my wife was crying uncontrollably saying I do not believe her but I believe a woman who is trying to ruin our marriage.

Well,if her friend is trying to ruin our marriage…she caused it..she allowed it. We both left distraught and later that night,the friend showed up in my guest house. She told me that she came to beg for me to forgive her friend. But you should have seen what she wore. The most see through outfit and as soon as I allowed her to sit down,she came hard on me.
Pushing her away was my first thought. But I felt so angry that I also wanted to revenge my wife and I started responding to her. I was ready to make love to this woman but I stopped and told her to leave. Since then,she has been determined to make me sleep with her.

I felt I needed space but the more space I need,the more s*xual temptations are coming my way. And yes,I would be justified if I give in right? After all…my wife did it first? Maybe if I did…I would feel better and maybe be able to forgive her after we are even.

I miss my wife but how do I trust her….I feel tempted to sleep with someone else. Its not that hard for men…I do not know how much more I can resist the temptation. How can I be sure that my wife is telling the truth? How do I know the affair ended after our marriage?

Will I be able to trust her again? Is there any hope for our marriage?

Take a moment's & stop thinking with your dick & think with your brain! Your business is important; will the business suffer or survive with or without your wives input? Think bout it, let it guide you decision! Marry a second wife if you can no longer trust your first. Disregard any misinformation you hear bout polygamy. It's a beautiful thing! & Lastly forgive & forget, give to your wife what she's due business wise but let her know she has to earn ur trust again.

it was copied from this blog:

source:https://livelystones.ng/2020/06/23/my-wifes-friend-tried-to-seduce-me-but-she-made-everything-worse/

Oga you are a very stupid person. I am not sorry that I am this harsh.
You are very immature and weak.
Like absolutely no maturity and discretion as a man of your age.
Some cheap skunk of a woman who survives by sleeping with men decides that she wants to destroy you and your family and she has so easily suceeded.
You have even smooched and kissed her inspite of everything your family is going through.
Let me tell you...you may be thinking you are made unfortunately its your wife that is the brain behind the success of your business.So be humble.

Secondly you may have just destroyed the foundation of your marriage. Because of how you handled this issue your wife will never trust you again.She is begging now because of the circumstances(She cheated).But if you guys settle your marriage will never be the same again.

She will never believe you did not sleep with her friend. She wont forgive you.You also casted her.Family and pastor knows her dirty secret.

Why didnt u handle this issue with the maturity that it deserves.
With the ease with which that woman got you,I am certain you have been sleeping with other women before but you won't tell us here cos you want us to focus on your wife.

Oga you are in trouble thats all I can say. You need to humble yourself, go and reconcile with your wife and work on your marriage.
Both of you cut that Jezebel off.

Oga, Ur Blood 2 Dey Hot Self, 4give Her. If Her Friend Hadn't Told U, U Won't Av Known. What She Did Was In D Past. It's Her Friend U Should Even Be More Afraid Of. She Is A Betrayer, Who Wants 2 Break Ur Marriage & Snatch U 4rm Ur Wife.

elipheleh:
Premarital Sex is an addiction. Same way as tobacco and drugs.

Taa! Liar!!. A Virgin is a Virgin because of her principles and habits. If a Virgin can navigate the hoe stage untouched, you think your wrinkled old dick will entice her to cheat.?

A Virgin never cheats on her husbands.

All cheats in marriage are from non virgins.
You marry an olossho and expect a wedding ceremony to change her. You are a joker. All no virgins cheat multiple times in their marriage. Only few percentage are caught.

If you're horrible in the sex department, the virgin wife may cheat on you ooh. There's no guarantee for anything when it involves marriage

Sixfeetbelle:
If you're horrible in the sex department, the virgin wife may cheat on you ooh. There's no guarantee for anything when it involves marriage

Another lie from the pit of hell. If teenagers can master sex skills, you think a Virgin or her man can't master sex skills too?

If lack of sex skill should affect any one,it will be the non-Virgin wife that is 100% going to cheat. Non virgins are loose, immoral and addicted to sex. They can't help the urge.

All virgins have control and good sexual morales.

if u dont 4give her, how will God 4give u. u are as guilty as ur wife 4 kissing her friend in d car.

Ochason:
I wanted to post my story for advise and opinions on this matter.

My wife and I have been married for 8 years and we really have not had any issues until now. The whole situation started about 5 months ago. I think it was early January. We just launched our second business branch and my wife threw a party for us.I am into real estate and other strings of businesses. Last year was a good year for us. Our business grew and we expanded by opening one more branch office here in Port Harcourt (not real location). My wife,who is our Business development strategist came up with an office opening party so we can invite dignitaries and celebrities to come and even invest more in our businesses. My wife decided to engage her friend that is a top event planner to handle the event. The event was successful no doubt,everything was just glamorous. Then,there was another part of the event that moved to the club that night. We were all having fun. And then,my wife’s friend who planned the earlier event showed up looking really well dressed..more like very s*xy outfit. Of course,lot of people were dressed to kill at the party. In a lit party like this,one should expect some serious drinking and some inappropriate behaviors. It was clear,my wife’s friend was getting a little more than tipsy. She was doing a little too much and my wife was concerned. I tried to call my Driver to come take her home but the foolish guy was drinking somewhere and didnt pick my call. My wife agreed that I escort her friend to go sleep in our SUV until the Driver shows up. I guided her friend to our car and tried to get her inside to sleep but things took a different turn. She was drunk and started to pull me to kiss her. she was rubbing on me and telling me she wants me. I knew it was the alcohol talking but she kept on and on. Begging me to kiss her so she can sleep. No one was looking and I gave her a small kiss just to let her feel she got what she wanted. Of course she wanted more but I didn’t oblige her. I put on the AC for her and pulled the seat back for her to rest. As I walked away,I finally got through the Driver and he came to take her home. I thought that was the last I would hear of what just happened but I was wrong. Two days later,this lady starts to chat me and saying she wants to see me. I thought it was a joke. She said things like she knows I want her too cos I kissed her at the club 2 days ago. She kept confessing her love for me and how she cannot control herself. To be honest,this is not the first time women would throw themselves at me but this is the first time,a friend of my wife would do such a thing. I asked her what if my wife finds out and she replied me with a bomb: she said..she does not care because my wife is also not a saint. What?!!!!..what did she mean by that? I asked her to explain and she said she cannot tell me because she swore never to tell anyone but that my wife has definitely been with someone else but me.At this time,I was getting really worked up. I told her she was bluffing and she said I was being naive. I told her I would ask my wife…she said she would deny but that does not mean its not true. She would deny because she swore to keep my wife’s secret.
So,in order to play her game,I told her I would sleep with her if she told me who my wife was cheating with. She agreed. She sent me lots dirty messages and told me to meet her at a hotel that night. And then,I asked her: how do I know you are not trying to set me up and walking into a trap? My wife’s friend then gave details. She said my wife and I were having issues just a few months before our wedding,I said yes!…she said because of the issues…my wife was doubting my loyalty and she went back to her ex and slept with him. And that they were seeing each other even after we got married until like 4 months after marriage.
I knew this woman is desperate but this information she just released scattered my brain. I drove straight to see my wife and straight up told her what her friend just told me. My wife began to act shocked and pretend that her friend was lying so I told her, I have recorded conversations (which I really didn’t have)and if she pushed me to release these conversations, it would be over between us.
At that point,my wife broke down and started crying. She then confessed to having gone back to her ex when we were having issues weeks before our wedding. But she swore on her children’s’ lives that it did not continue after we got married.
However,her ex went to tell her friend that they were seeing each other which was a lie. That her ex wanted her back by all means and was telling lies that I was not treating her well and that she misses her ex and wants to come back but she is stuck in the marriage.
All these revelation was too much for me to bear. I told my wife to leave our home but she refused so I took a my things and went to the company guest house where I have been. I have been so angry and betrayed that I do not know what to do.
I never planned to be a divorcee. I love my wife. She is very instrumental to the success of my business …but how do we work through this when she has betrayed me like this? And she is insisting the affair ended when we got married….the affair before marriage is hurtful because we were still engaged even at that time but if it continued after…I cannot live like this.

How then,do I believe she may be telling the truth? Trust has been thrown out of the window. Our families have been trying to reconcile us but as a man,I have never been so hurt and emotional in all my life. I trusted my wife with all my life.

I finally agreed for us to see our Pastor last week to counsel us but it ended up in a disaster. I recognize I was still angry and I was shouting and my wife was crying uncontrollably saying I do not believe her but I believe a woman who is trying to ruin our marriage.

Well,if her friend is trying to ruin our marriage…she caused it..she allowed it. We both left distraught and later that night,the friend showed up in my guest house. She told me that she came to beg for me to forgive her friend. But you should have seen what she wore. The most see through outfit and as soon as I allowed her to sit down,she came hard on me.
Pushing her away was my first thought. But I felt so angry that I also wanted to revenge my wife and I started responding to her. I was ready to make love to this woman but I stopped and told her to leave. Since then,she has been determined to make me sleep with her.

I felt I needed space but the more space I need,the more s*xual temptations are coming my way. And yes,I would be justified if I give in right? After all…my wife did it first? Maybe if I did…I would feel better and maybe be able to forgive her after we are even.

I miss my wife but how do I trust her….I feel tempted to sleep with someone else. Its not that hard for men…I do not know how much more I can resist the temptation. How can I be sure that my wife is telling the truth? How do I know the affair ended after our marriage?

Will I be able to trust her again? Is there any hope for our marriage?

elipheleh:
Another lie from the pit of hell. If teenagers can master sex skills, you think a Virgin or her man can't master sex skills too?

If lack of sex skill should affect any one,it will be the non-Virgin wife that is 100% going to cheat. Non virgins are loose, immoral and addicted to sex. They can't help the urge.

All virgins have control and good sexual morales.

Everyone is entitled to their beliefs

Two wrong can never make a right,go to God in prayer, Because this is when you need Him most, pour out your heart to Him, forgive your wife, and you too ask God for forgiveness, ask Him to repair your home,do not allow a foreign woman destroy your home; whether you think she did it or not, forgive her and ask God for a new heart to keep your home.Then cut of that daughter of Jezebel for your own good and the good of your family.

You just allowed a devil in a woman form to scatter your happy sweet home.
Anger, envy, jealousy caused her to tempt you.
She never believed the marriage will last this long and counting.
If your wife has opened up to you, believe her, forgive and forget.
Rebuke that lady that calls herself a friend, she is a home breaker

Although what your wife did was very bad, don't try to revenge by sleeping with her friend or any other woman, two wrongs does not make a right. The aim of her friend is to break your home. From your story here, I sensed that your wife is being truthful. Please forgive her, I know that it's not easy to forget that kind of thing but for your children's sake and future, you need to forgive her. If you don't mind, we can talk one on one, I will send a message request to you here.

Gbas gbos

Juliearth:
Yes, this is my thought and fear too. May God help him overcome this one.

Amen, I earnestly hope so but from the tone of his write up, I have my doubt unless by God's special grace.

culf:
Amen, I earnestly hope so but from the tone of his write up, I have my doubt unless by God's special grace.

It is normal for him to feel hurt, but time heals all. He just has to let go of the hurt.

Juliearth:
It is normal for him to feel hurt, but time heals all. He just has to let go of the hurt.

yeah but I doubt if he will be patient for time to heal his hurt especially with aunty standing by to enjoy her friends "hotdog". May God help us all