₦airaland Forum

xynerise:
Yes, I said so.

If you are of the school of thought that providing for the family along automatically makes you a caring father, then you are among those that
risk being irrelevant to your children.

If you look at most families today, the children hardly mention their fathers when making a reference to something inspiring. I mean quoting what your father once taught you or something positive you learnt while growing up. I am referring to fathers of our time.

Today, everything is about making money and paying the bills. That is not enough.
How close are you to your children? It is always the mother that attends to issues that trouble the children today. Even though fathers source for solutions at the end but the children will always remember the person that discovered the problems, or at least care to know what the problem is.

How often do we call our kids, sit them down and ask them about the kind of challenges they face in life?

Some fathers hardly call their children (far from home) on phone except the mother does and maybe pass the phone to him. This has made some people to call mostly their mothers on phone and explain situations to her rather than the father who provides the money to solve the situations.

You can see that despite most fathers provide the money, yet the mothers get most of the appreciation.

My point is, we shouldn't be too focus on just making the money. Let us remember we are also making a family too.

TheArchangel:
You are becoming more empty and bitter as the days go by.

swiz123:
I don't have a problem if kids don't regard their fathers that much probably because of his busy schedules which their tiny heads can't understand.

My real problem is when an adult still think that his father is irrelevant because he doesn't baby-sit them... like WTF!!.... Shouldn't you have outgrown that stupid mindset?..

Most men who thinks that their father is irrelevant because of your silly reason and therefore goes about asslicking their momma are the reason why most marriages are living hell for modern wives.

Most orphans at motherless homes would give everything to have someone who can provide can feed, shelter, clothe and pay their school fees. That momma's love you so much adore isn't a priority to these unfortunate children...

I don't know how old you are, but please, change your mindset from today onwards

TonyeBarcanista:
[s][/s]
My brother, a father's primary responsibility is to provide for his family. He toils, suffers and struggles to achieve that. This is in addition to provide care for the wife and kids and overall leadership.

A mother's primary responsibility is to care for the husband and kids, take care of home front and do any other responsibility assigned to her by the husband/father (feminists should go and die)

You can't expect a father to relegate his responsibility to be competing for attention of the children with the mother.

In fact, it is okay for children to be praising their mother as long as they, alongside their mother, acknowledge their father and are loyal to his authority. It is a welcome development!

When they are grown up they will realise their father's sacrifice!

For my family, we recognise both the sacrifices of our parents and always acknowledge them. As an adult male, I appreciates my father even more...

bukatyne:
Mothers don't toil day and night?

I give it to we mothers: not because I am a woman or blindly supporting women here.

They are very intentional. A single mother would toil to feed her kids and strive to be there for them emotionally (whether teaching them right or wrong).

There Is NO excuse for a father NOT to be emotionally invested in his children.

NONE.

eni4real:
.
In this hard economy, any man that don't appreciate his Father by now should get his head checked!!

It is not easy to be a man!! You are only appreciated if you can provide something!! No excuses at all!!

TonyeBarcanista:
Xynerise is just being a pussy... Honestly

TonyeBarcanista:
Xynerise is just being a pussy... Honestly

donbachi:
Pressure here and there...una wan kill us?

swiz123:
I don't have a problem if kids don't regard their fathers that much probably because of his busy schedules which their tiny heads can't understand.

My real problem is when an adult still think that his father is irrelevant because he doesn't baby-sit them... like WTF!!.... Shouldn't you have outgrown that stupid mindset?..

Most men who thinks that their father is irrelevant because of your silly reason and therefore goes about asslicking their momma are the reason why most marriages are living hell for modern wives.

Most orphans at motherless homes would give everything to have someone who can provide can feed, shelter, clothe and pay their school fees. That momma's love you so much adore isn't a priority to these unfortunate children...

I don't know how old you are, but please, change your mindset from today onwards

kingreign:
I bet you don't understand the essence of this thread. The essence of the thread is that fathers should do more for their families, their children other than going out there to work, provide funds or food. It asserts that fathers should be more closer to their kids, to imbibe fatherly roles, love and presence in the lives of their kids. I totally agree.

I'd tell you, my son always laughs and smiles and babbles when he hears my voice. When I'm out for long and on opening the door, if he's awake, he starts crying for my attention, and when he sees me close, he starts playing and laughing. Why does he do these?
It's because I take alot of time in playing with him, carrying him, speaking to him, learning and discovering new things with him. I even do his diapers and change his clothes, wash them too very regularly and bath him once a while. My wife was protesting against such initially, but I put it to her that I WANT AND NEED to do these to my offspring. It's not a sign of misplaced priorities or weakness, but rather a form of bonding between father and child.

xynerise:
You can ignore if your father is not among. Your dumb skull should read the title and see if you can't find "most".


Antelope

kingreign:
I wish to ask these rather strange question to you Sire,
1. Should your wife deliver a new baby, and she becomes ill or incapacitated to take care of that child for some weeks (which I don't hope or pray for), and there's no one around, what would you do for that child? What would you do to make your wife look at you with sense of pride and satisfaction?

2. What would you do to your young lad who comes back from school all soiled up, and has assignments to do, and is hungry, but the mom is probably not around due to official engagement as a working class executive or a business mogul, and you're on your annual leave and no baby sitter or maid in the house? Would you not care for that child, wash him up, laundry his clothes, cook for him and also assist him with his assignments?

These things are NOT hard, what makes them seem hard is our seemingly overbloated ego and entitlement.
There is an aspect of Sociology called "gender in planning", and in that subject we had a subtopic called, gender and advocate planning in which folks learn about family members and perceived or distinguished roles and then these roles were put under another subtopic called, Social Division of Labour (SDOL) various groups in society have been pre-allocated certain roles and jobs expected of them. Let me say that since the beginning of 70's, that SDOL definition began to wither and in today's world, a woman can be as equally or more busy than a man. Let all these precolonial mentality be bygone.

We are NOT saying fathers should assume the exclusive roles of mothers or females, but should also take time to add their own presence and impact in the children and family's well-being directly.

xynerise:
My brother, I don't understand why people are just pained about this and indirectly insulting me.

They keep saying fathers are working their ass off to provide for the family. They forgot they also have some emotional impact on their children too. How else do I make it clear to them ?

Emyogalanya:
hmmmn you really get time cos it seems you are new on this forum that guy is as unstable as a rainy season weather. Don't be surprised to see him fighting to the death while defending the same points you raised here today. Am so sure if you check his past posts or threads you will see it. He can contradict himself within the space of 24 hours

Fidelcashboy:
fool

eni4real:
May God save him from underrating himself!
Amen!!

TonyeBarcanista:
[s][/s]
My brother, a father's primary responsibility is to provide for his family. He toils, suffers and struggles to achieve that. This is in addition to provide care for the wife and kids and overall leadership.

A mother's primary responsibility is to care for the husband and kids, take care of home front and do any other responsibility assigned to her by the husband/father (feminists should go and die)

You can't expect a father to relegate his responsibility to be competing for attention of the children with the mother.

In fact, it is okay for children to be praising their mother as long as they, alongside their mother, acknowledge their father and are loyal to his authority. It is a welcome development!

When they are grown up they will realise their father's sacrifice!

For my family, we recognise both the sacrifices of our parents and always acknowledge them. As an adult male, I appreciates my father even more...

mariahAngel:
Ya damn right it is!

ejimatic:
. We need to acknowledge the fact that some responsible fathers provide for their families materially and work hard daily while many fathers are lazy and do not care about their families. Additionally. a lot if fathers do not bother about the emotions of their children let alone creating time for them.Why are we having increase in the rate of crime among young ones? Why a lot of teenegers sleep outside today? Even now how many fathers know where their children are this night? Many fathers dont have time to tutor their children again. Can you imagine a part one student buying Corola sport and his father did not ask him where he got money.Instead of querying him they are doing Thanksgiving in church and mosque.The blind leading blind to knowhere.If a man does not have time for his children but just looking for materialism by all means such a father is worshiping an unknown God.Such ones will bite their fingers in future. So fathers, monitor your children and educate them morally and emotionally and spiritually. It is through this that your labour will not be in vain.

TonyeBarcanista:
[s][/s]
My brother, a father's primary responsibility is to provide for his family. He toils, suffers and struggles to achieve that. This is in addition to provide care for the wife and kids and overall leadership.

A mother's primary responsibility is to care for the husband and kids, take care of home front and do any other responsibility assigned to her by the husband/father (feminists should go and die)

You can't expect a father to relegate his responsibility to be competing for attention of the children with the mother.

In fact, it is okay for children to be praising their mother as long as they, alongside their mother, acknowledge their father and are loyal to his authority. It is a welcome development!

When they are grown up they will realise their father's sacrifice!

For my family, we recognise both the sacrifices of our parents and always acknowledge them. As an adult male, I appreciates my father even more...

xynerise:
You can ignore if your father is not among. Your dumb skull should read the title and see if you can't find "most".


Antelope

authority2006:
It is not easy to be a father, a responsible one for that matter. Where is the time to be competing for attention. I just wish that children recognise the contribution of fathers who sacrifice a lot to make sure that they don't lack things and have a future

martowskin1:
That does not mean father's who don't act like u do are not bonding with their kids in other way. Can we all just face our homes and do what works for us?..

This whole wife and husband thing is getting irritating daily.

Growing up, my dad was a military personal, he is hardly at home. There are a lot going in people homes that we don't know, let's stop this whole comparison madness.

I learnt how to play chess from my dad, till today I don't call him daddy, I greet him like a military man, even when he is retired. But I will tell u, the man did a lot, I realise this when I became a man my self. Life in this country is hard, not all fathers have the chance .. Only few do.

xynerise:
Yes, I said so.

If you are of the school of thought that providing for the family along automatically makes you a caring father, then you are among those that
risk being irrelevant to your children.

If you look at most families today, the children hardly mention their fathers when making a reference to something inspiring. I mean quoting what your father once taught you or something positive you learnt while growing up. I am referring to fathers of our time.

Today, everything is about making money and paying the bills. That is not enough.
How close are you to your children? It is always the mother that attends to issues that trouble the children today. Even though fathers source for solutions at the end but the children will always remember the person that discovered the problems, or at least care to know what the problem is.

How often do we call our kids, sit them down and ask them about the kind of challenges they face in life?

Some fathers hardly call their children (far from home) on phone except the mother does and maybe pass the phone to him. This has made some people to call mostly their mothers on phone and explain situations to her rather than the father who provides the money to solve the situations.

You can see that despite most fathers provide the money, yet the mothers get most of the appreciation.

My point is, we shouldn't be too focus on just making the money. Let us remember we are also making a family too.

Dalby:
The first opposition to your school of thought you attack with insults...hmmm

I still do not agree with your position. There has and will always be good and bad father's. Same goes for mothers...

xynerise:
Pressure can be shared if you marry a sensible woman