ImaIma1:


That is what you want to believe.

Those are my definitions below for a clearer understanding of my comment:

A lot: a large number or amount; a great deal.

Some: at least a small amount or number of people or things.

Enéfu Gbé

hello dear, i believe that you are a lady and am a gentleman,so pls can you provide me something to respect??

pls you can help a brother whose mini electronic firm has collapsed due to this pandemic, with a little token to survive this pandemic hour. Thank you and God bless.account no:0024995086 bank name: Union Bank phone no: 08146995561. Thank you once again.

bukatyne:
Nice thread.

Xynerise, you should never be shocked when an opinion is not accepted by all. Its normal.

I understand your view perfectly, and I agree with it 100%.

I believe there's a reason, there should normally be two different genders in a marriage. Nature has made it so, for a reason.

Now, the reasons pointed out by Xynerise could be the cause of the deficiencies we see in some young men nowadays, especially in marriages.

There's a role a father plays in the life of a child, that he or she can never get from a woman, and vice versa. The genders are supposed to compliment one another.

A father must have times he communicates with his child, beyond payment of school fees and Christmas gifts. A father should connect with a child, in ways, the mother cannot.

Its okay to disagree with contrary opinions, but there's absolutely no point calling each other names, and at no point did the OP suggest his opinion is applicable in ALL families.

Spot on OP.

My own father didn't notice I gained over 10 pounds after seeing me after a while.

Small things like that, fathers don't know their children but think they do.

Flairoqy:

Enéfu Gbé

Ndiongo ke nse afo tang.

Chucks234:


Which research did u carry to arrive at this hypothesis. What is the sample size, demographic, ecomonic & socio political factors were considered to arrive at this assumption (because it is not based on fact only a figment of your imagination).

I totally agree!

If your dad lose relevance mine is a hero despite all odds my dad was not opportune to live longer but he tried his very best and we are still proud of him

ImaIma1:


Yes o. Where is the time? But they still somehow find the time to bond with side chicks

You had to play the side-chic card...

Not all married men keep side-chics. Argue fairly.

1Sharon:
Spot on OP.

My own father didn't notice I gained over 10 pounds after seeing me after a while.

Small things like that, fathers don't know their children but think they do.

Eating the food he toils to provide

It took the prodigal son to leave the house to realise what he truly had...

A shaking table

I think the long and short story is that every dad should be the best dad he can be to his kids.


Providing of basics
Provision of guidance and discipline
And being a responsible man and an example to your kids


In my personal view
These are the three MOST important roles of a dad

Other subsidiary roles which also have some importance then follow


On the three counts I listed above
Many fathers in Nigeria are failing woefully


I see it everyday on the streets

And that's why we have so many delinquents boys our there (this is one of the many factors that contribute to delinquency sha)


Be the best dad you can be

Chikena

Life is not easy as a man

And being a father is a thankless role (or will I call it job)


Yet
We still have to do our best

1Sharon:
Spot on OP.

My own father didn't notice I gained over 10 pounds after seeing me after a while.

Small things like that, fathers don't know their children but think they do.

You eat the food that the man suffered to provide and you still disrespect him for not noticing you getting fat. What manner of fuckery is this?

Ok

ImaIma1:


Yes o. Where is the time? But they still somehow find the time to bond with side chicks

Do you have a friend that is a side chic
How do you know they bond

Them say na wetin pikin no get for house e dey go thief for outside o

swiz123:
I don't have a problem if kids don't regard their fathers that much probably because of his busy schedules which their tiny heads can't understand.

My real problem is when an adult still think that his father is irrelevant because he doesn't baby-sit them... like WTF!!.... Shouldn't you have outgrown that stupid mindset?..

Most men who thinks that their father is irrelevant because of your silly reason and therefore goes about asslicking their momma are the reason why most marriages are living hell for modern wives.

Most orphans at motherless homes would give everything to have someone who can provide can feed, shelter, clothe and pay their school fees. That momma's love you so much adore isn't a priority to these unfortunate children...

I don't know how old you are, but please, change your mindset from today onwards

You took the words from my intestine. Granted its part of his role as a father raise up the kids but do not term them as irrelevant because the world economy has really changed. One may not understand the untold sacrifice some fathers go through to keep the family standing. So cut them some slacks if they are unable to fill in some other fatherly duties. They are still heroes .

mariahAngel:


You had to play the side-chic card...

Not all married men keep side-chics. Argue fairly.

My point is...

All these excuses about not having time are just excuses.

It is not about having time, it is about making time.
If it matters, we will make the time for it.

People saying that they work and don't have time; some of them still have the time to spend with side chicks, sit and hang out with friends, spend hours pressing phone
But when asked to spend time with the children, plenty excuses will spring up.

It might have made more sense it it was another excuse, but definitely not time.

It depends on the kind of fathers. I have friends whose fathers are their gist partners while their mum is the over serious ones.

What we should learn from what you have said is that money is not everything. Men should always find time to have fun with their children and not always be the 'strict' boss in the house

Very infantile thinking.

You are using the mindset of wicked women whose only mission is to sow the seed of hatred between fathers and their children.

Grow up!

xynerise:
Yes, I said so.

If you are of the school of thought that providing for the family along automatically makes you a caring father, then you are among those that
risk being irrelevant to your children.

If you look at most families today, the children hardly mention their fathers when making a reference to something inspiring. I mean quoting what your father once taught you or something positive you learnt while growing up. I am referring to fathers of our time.

Today, everything is about making money and paying the bills. That is not enough.
How close are you to your children? It is always the mother that attends to issues that trouble the children today. Even though fathers source for solutions at the end but the children will always remember the person that discovered the problems, or at least care to know what the problem is.

How often do we call our kids, sit them down and ask them about the kind of challenges they face in life?

Some fathers hardly call their children (far from home) on phone except the mother does and maybe pass the phone to him. This has made some people to call mostly their mothers on phone and explain situations to her rather than the father who provides the money to solve the situations.

You can see that despite most fathers provide the money, yet the mothers get most of the appreciation.

My point is, we shouldn't be too focus on just making the money. Let us remember we are also making a family too.

It is your father who brought someone as ungrateful as you to this world I blame. How can you?/someone goes out each day to hustke for his family, denies himself things to give you a better life and because your mother was always around you that makes your father automatically irrelevant? Firgetting that the tomea now are diffrent. Fathers die earlier than mothers because of the burden they bear and you are here running your mouth. May your children say the same about you. Anuofia!

Dalby:


Do you have a friend that is a side chic
How do you know they bond

Them say na wetin pikin no get for house e dey go thief for outside o

Does having a side chick require that the man spends time with her?

If it does, that is the precious time being spent.

So time is not the issue when it comes to spending it with the kids. If it matters to us, we create the time

@ Xynerise OP, I think you had a good message though you could’ve probably expressed it better - which is why some folks lashed out at you. Bottom line I think your point is valid and fathers should be involved in the emotional upbringing of their children and not just the financial aspect alone.

Fathers are the best thing to happen to most people in this world but mothers would rather get that praise cos of the love men allow women that there's no longer any need for.

TonyeBarcanista:

You eat the food that the man suffered to provide and you still disrespect him for not noticing you getting fat. What manner of fuckery is this?

Moroп! I don’t live with him, he hadn't seen me in months.

I've been skinny my whole life and finally gained some weight. He didn't notice shit.

Dads really don't know their kids but think they do.

ReeLoaDead:
@ Xynerise OP, I think you had a good message though you could’ve probably expressed it better - which is why some folks lashed out at you. Bottom line I think your point is valid and fathers should be involved in the emotional upbringing of their children and not just the financial aspect alone.

It isn't fair to generalize. Say what happens in your own home, because that is the most you know and are sure of...

Dalby:


Eating the food he toils to provide

It took the prodigal son to leave the house to realise what he truly had...

Do I live with him? And how do you know he isn't deadbeat?

You Nigerians are so close-minded I swear

bukatyne:


Mothers don't toil day and night?

I give it to we mothers: not because I am a woman or blindly supporting women here.

They are very intentional. A single mother would toil to feed her kids and strive to be there for them emotionally (whether teaching them right or wrong).

There Is NO excuse for a father NOT to be emotionally invested in his children.

NONE.

a woman advising a man how to be a man.

1Sharon:


Moroп! I don’t live with him, he hadn't seen me in months.

I've been skinny my whole life and finally gained some weight. He didn't notice shit.

Dads really don't know their kids but think they do.

You answered your own question. You don't live with him...

You are sounding really bitter though...

donstan18:

You are referring to your father who didn't teach you anything positive, not our fathers.


It still doesn't change the fact that your parents didn't teach you anything positive.

Below is my proof, a screenshot of your statement on this forum about them.

They failed, ruined and slowed your success, according to you.

Stop forcing our fathers To be like yours!!

dz s quite irrational......

eni4real:
Off points

Make an 'on point' na

1Sharon:


Do I live with him? And how do you know he isn't deadbeat?

You Nigerians are so close-minded I swear

You better grow up. You want your father to notice your weight gain. Is he your boyfriend? When he was providing for you, did you notice his pain?

bukatyne:


Mothers don't toil day and night?

I give it to we mothers: not because I am a woman or blindly supporting women here.

They are very intentional. A single mother would toil to feed her kids and strive to be there for them emotionally (whether teaching them right or wrong).

There Is NO excuse for a father NOT to be emotionally invested in his children.

NONE.

Tell us the experience of single dad's