₦airaland Forum

mk3jax:
Boys don't appreciate their father under they become a father themselves. The man is expected to takes care of his wife, kids, in law, siblings, parent, cousins, nieces etc depending on his financial ability. You think the money to provide all those comfort will come from siting at home and forming bonding with child. Bonding with kids only works when the job allows.
If you want to know the relevance of fathers, look at homes without one and see how miserable the life of the woman and kids are most of the times. Many of the fatherless girls get pregnant very young while the boys drop from school to go and learn a trade because there is no dad to provide.
Also look at girls that dump new born babies because there is no man to provide for her and the baby. You do not know the value of a man until he either walks away or dies. My mum still misses my dad's contribution to running the home they built together even though he died 14 years ago and all her kids are grown up.

You have spoken wisely and said it all, there is nothing much for me to add.

In all, let there be balance in all things.
Shout out to all fathers out their doing their very best for their families,, Aswear e no easy at all, the mental strength ehnn no b here, las las we go all dey aiit.

Omo to ni iya oun ko la, to ni baba oun ko lowo, enu e lo wa yen.

When I was growing up I loved my mother more, but now, I'm closer to my dad because he contributed more in making me become a responsible adult through discipline, counseling and proper guidance.

xynerise:
[s]Yes, I said so.

If you are of the school of thought that providing for the family along automatically makes you a caring father, then you are among those that
risk being irrelevant to your children.

If you look at most families today, the children hardly mention their fathers when making a reference to something inspiring. I mean quoting what your father once taught you or something positive you learnt while growing up. I am referring to fathers of our time.

Today, everything is about making money and paying the bills. That is not enough.
How close are you to your children? It is always the mother that attends to issues that trouble the children today. Even though fathers source for solutions at the end but the children will always remember the person that discovered the problems, or at least care to know what the problem is.

How often do we call our kids, sit them down and ask them about the kind of challenges they face in life?

Some fathers hardly call their children (far from home) on phone except the mother does and maybe pass the phone to him. This has made some people to call mostly their mothers on phone and explain situations to her rather than the father who provides the money to solve the situations.

You can see that despite most fathers provide the money, yet the mothers get most of the appreciation.

My point is, we shouldn't be too focus on just making the money. Let us remember we are also making a family too[/s].

crap, absolute bullshiiiiiiiiiit. Una wan kill men all in the name of being a father? Is it now a seen to be a father or burn children? If he doesn't hustle to provide for the family una go still call am lazy man. Abeg I can't kill myself jo.

Dalby:
I don't think l wrote this!!!
What should be the logical implication of the bolded statement

You said I eat the food he toils to provide. What does that imply?

0neal:
Bro

It baffles me why someone will think a father bonding with his kids (two is just perfect) is being a sissy?

They're insecure about their masculinity.

AgainstIslam:
Omo to ni iya oun ko la, to ni baba oun ko lowo, enu e lo wa yen.

When I was growing up I love my mother more, but now, I'm closer to my dad because he contributed more in making me become a responsible adult through discipline, counseling and proper guidance.

please come and teach me yoruba but I learn better only at night and behind closed doors

1Sharon:
You said I eat the food he toils to provide. What does that imply?

Hmmm your question was that l made an assumption that you weren't staying with your dad. I responded that it wasn't an assumption. You had said you didn't earlier abi?

igboamakaaa:
You have spoken wisely and said it all, there is nothing much for me to add.

pls tell that guy the nakeeed truth jare

Enemyofpeace:
please come and teach me yoruba but I learn better only at night and behind closed doors

Sorry, I'm a terrible teacher at night. Oh, and I teach better in public too

1Sharon:
You said I eat the food he toils to provide. What does that imply?

go look for your gloves and knicker make you fight the guy. See as him dey take style insult you for public. If na me I no go gree o

AgainstIslam:
Sorry, I'm a terrible teacher at night. Oh, and I teach better in public too

oiiiiiin!

Dalby:
Hmmm your question was that l made an assumption that you weren't staying with your dad. I responded that it wasn't an assumption. You had said you didn't earlier abi?

No, you assumed I'm under my dad based on you saying this:

Dalby:
Eating the food he toils to provide

It took the prodigal son to leave the house to realise what he truly had...

People move out you know?

It's common with you lot on this forum, closed mind.

proclinician:
Here's what I think the problem is.

My dad taught me mathematics like I could have failed maths in wassce. He showed me some tips that will help me scale through and that was awesome. My dad is a banker and holds an M.B.A in management but how he managed to teach me how to balance chemical equations remains a mystery.


When I wrote jamb

Now I'm a doctor

Pls OP


Today I have my license
Your destiny is in ur hands.

You just gave credence to the point OP has been trying to make.

Fathers must learn to communicate and bond with their children. OP might not have had it easy like you did, your father did a very nice job putting you through the different stages of your life.
This is the message the OP is trying to pass we need more men like your father in this world. It's not always about the money, every young man needs that father figure to guide him through life so they don't end up making mistakes that could have been avoided.

Enemyofpeace:
go look for your gloves and knicker make you fight the guy. See as him dey take style insult you for public. If na me I no go gree o

Yh typical NL

1Sharon:
Yh typical NL

no let the guy chance you go o

1Sharon:
Can you be more clearer?

Yes, after cumming in your mouth, then you lick and eat the sh*t coming out of my asshole in order to gain another 10lb so that "your Father" can notice you this time.
My hoe.

Father's are also making a great deal of efforts in the family but their voice are not always heard. God bless the responsible fathers and God help me to be one when the time comes.

.

my dad died over 27years ago but his Legacy is what held my family till date otherwise we for dey street literally. even if he was not there emotionally, i know he loved us and as i am grown, i appreciate the non emotional effort he put in raising me and my 5 other siblings before he died. if your dad is deadbeat speak for yourself oooo

I can relate with some of this.

I respect my dad and he did indeed provide for the family which I am thankful for, but I can't say to this day that I've ever had a simple conversation with him.
Quite the prideful and distant person.
So prideful in fact that he wouldn't let my mom work, even when going through financial troubles.

If (God forbid) he were to pass away tomorrow, I don't think I would be emotionally bothered by it, nor will I remember him as much.

This is something I wouldn't want for my own children, should I have any in the future.

I'd like my children to be able to have conversations with me and have positive memories of me when I pass away.

We need to update Social Studies text book with all the 'fathers toil day and night, mothers are at home' posts I am seeing all over this thread.

Wives don't work same hours with these fathers? Abi there is a special closing time for men and women?

If we talk of hustling jobs, women don't also stay long hours in the market or cooking?

Yet they manage to know what is going on on their kids' lives. They manage to impact training to the kids.

Fathers, go the extra mile and learn intentional parenting if you don't do so.

And the men wonder why they are easily replaceable once the mothers start earning well enough.

When your presence and absence is same thing once someone else can provide the cash.

IMAliyu:
I can relate with some of this.

I respect my dad and he did indeed provide for the family which I am thankful for, but I can't say to this day that I've ever had a simple conversation with him.
Quite the prideful and distant person.
So prideful in fact that he wouldn't let my mom work, even when going through financial troubles.

If (God forbid) he were to pass away tomorrow, I don't think I would be emotionally bothered by it, nor will I remember him as much.

This is something I wouldn't want for my own children, should I have any in the future.

I'd like my children to be able to have conversations with me and have positive memories of me when I pass away.

God bless you o jare.

donstan18:
You are referring to your father who didn't teach you anything positive, not our fathers.


It still doesn't change the fact that your parents didn't teach you anything positive.

Below is my proof, a screenshot of your statement on this forum about them.

They failed, ruined and slowed your success, according to you.

Stop forcing our fathers To be like yours!!

Who is this one now? What exactly is your point? Scallywag oshi

swiz123:
I don't have a problem if kids don't regard their fathers that much probably because of his busy schedules which their tiny heads can't understand.

[s]My real problem is when an adult still think that his father is irrelevant because he doesn't baby-sit them... like WTF!!.... Shouldn't you have outgrown that stupid mindset?..[/s]

Most men who thinks that their father is irrelevant because of your silly reason and therefore goes about asslicking their momma are the reason why most marriages are living hell for modern wives.

Most orphans at motherless homes would give everything to have someone who can provide can feed, shelter, clothe and pay their school fees. That momma's love you so much adore isn't a priority to these unfortunate children...

I don't know how old you are, but please, change your mindset from today onwards

You obviously missed the point totally. Its also pretty obvious you can't see beyond your nose. Do you even have any idea what is going on in other homes? Do you?

xynerise:
Yes, I said so.

If you are of the school of thought that providing for the family along automatically makes you a caring father, then you are among those that
risk being irrelevant to your children.

If you look at most families today, the children hardly mention their fathers when making a reference to something inspiring. I mean quoting what your father once taught you or something positive you learnt while growing up. I am referring to fathers of our time.

Today, everything is about making money and paying the bills. That is not enough.
How close are you to your children? It is always the mother that attends to issues that trouble the children today. Even though fathers source for solutions at the end but the children will always remember the person that discovered the problems, or at least care to know what the problem is.

How often do we call our kids, sit them down and ask them about the kind of challenges they face in life?

Some fathers hardly call their children (far from home) on phone except the mother does and maybe pass the phone to him. This has made some people to call mostly their mothers on phone and explain situations to her rather than the father who provides the money to solve the situations.

You can see that despite most fathers provide the money, yet the mothers get most of the appreciation.

My point is, we shouldn't be too focus on just making the money. Let us remember we are also making a family too.

speak for yourself please. I even wonder how this bullshit made front page.

merieam16:
Some fathers er still much relevant, depending which father u want 2 become

Exactly
He is talking from his own experience
My dad is extremely relevant in the lives of I and my siblings
I talk with him 2 times every week
I talked with him this morning self

That some had bad parenting doesn't mean that's how it is.
Some of us had the best dads you could ever think of
And still enjoying them

Your father had issues, don't generalise it.

This thing goes both ways in my own opinion. We have men that lost their wives and they raised their kids perfectly alone, however I feel like your father would have relevant to you if
1. He’s a responsible man
2. You’re sensible and understanding

victons:
speak for yourself please. I even wonder how this bullshit made front page.

Everything makes front page on nairaland
Site lost its pedigree

mk3jax:
Boys don't appreciate their father under they become a father themselves. The man is expected to takes care of his wife, kids, in law, siblings, parent, cousins, nieces etc depending on his financial ability. You think the money to provide all those comfort will come from siting at home and forming bonding with child. Bonding with kids only works when the job allows.
If you want to know the relevance of fathers, look at homes without one and see how miserable the life of the woman and kids are most of the times. Many of the fatherless girls get pregnant very young while the boys drop from school to go and learn a trade because there is no dad to provide.
Also look at girls that dump new born babies because there is no man to provide for her and the baby. You do not know the value of a man until he either walks away or dies. My mum still misses my dad's contribution to running the home they built together even though he died 14 years ago and all her kids are grown up.

Exactly
One of my associates was confessing to me that it was when he married and had children, with the stress that comes with providing for them.
He so much appreciated his dad. Although he was already late.
Someone that was privileged to have his own car and and other largese as a university student all from his father's support.
He now appreciated what it took his dad to make him extra comfortable as a young man. When he considers what it takes him to provide for his family now.

xynerise:
Yes, I said so.

If you are of the school of thought that providing for the family along automatically makes you a caring father, then you are among those that
risk being irrelevant to your children.

If you look at most families today, the children hardly mention their fathers when making a reference to something inspiring. I mean quoting what your father once taught you or something positive you learnt while growing up. I am referring to fathers of our time.

Today, everything is about making money and paying the bills. That is not enough.
How close are you to your children? It is always the mother that attends to issues that trouble the children today. Even though fathers source for solutions at the end but the children will always remember the person that discovered the problems, or at least care to know what the problem is.

How often do we call our kids, sit them down and ask them about the kind of challenges they face in life?

Some fathers hardly call their children (far from home) on phone except the mother does and maybe pass the phone to him. This has made some people to call mostly their mothers on phone and explain situations to her rather than the father who provides the money to solve the situations.

You can see that despite most fathers provide the money, yet the mothers get most of the appreciation.

My point is, we shouldn't be too focus on just making the money. Let us remember we are also making a family too.

Fílè be, jékó wà bèé.