₦airaland Forum

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr
You don't need to feel anything

Love is not all about feelings
It is a choice and decision


Loving someone is about taking a decision that you want to love a particular person and in a couple of days or months you will realize you are madly in love with the person already
So take a decision to love him

Farki:
Summary: My old coworker is with me in my new place. I formed familiarity and got his hopes high by "playfully" flirting and calling him sweet nothings.

The man tried to take me out on dinner dates and buy me gifts but I did shakara so after all that he still had to confess his love and obvious interest in dating me, but I don't love him because he is 40, well established and hasn't been married yet so I assume he is a player.

What should I do?

MrBrownJay1:
a French proverb says:" c'est en jouant que Toto a baisé sa mère"... aka its through play-play that Toto bleeped his own mother.

continue this "boyfriend" this and "boyfriend" that... we all know how it will end.

mamaafrik:
I only have one prayer for you,the exact way you handled this guy may the lord God give you a man that will do the same when you desire MARRIAGE,let the audience say AMEN!!!

Chinkos99:
Am not mad
I can't/don't want to marry him
But I just like him being around me till he gets married to another girl, not that he pays my bills, but because I feel safe and secure around his arms

t00dugged:
bestie or potential. . Anyway,shey they always say "marry your best friend and marriage will be easy", well girl I think you are on the right track.congrats in advance.

fattprince:
Bro is Toto a French word? � �

Chinkos99:
Our company recently employed this guy, we worked in the same company before, then he was a manager and i was a junior staff.

I left the company years ago and joined another, so few months ago he got employed in my new office as a Director.

When he resumed, being that i knew him before, i started playing around with him, like when he was introduced to us, i was like oo, common, i hug him tightly and people were surprise at our closeness before i informed them that we have worked together before.

I am a jovial person, so each time i go around his office, i will call him boyfriend, my love, hope no girl is trespassing cos i will fight o and his subordinates will laugh and say you are not serious.

On the job, we get to work together at times cos i am a Manager now, we go for meetings etc, then some of his job includes doing some short production, even though i am not employed as a video producer, i told him i can do those for him personally, cos i recently learn those, he was surprise before but he decided to give me a try, i did it for him and he liked it, he became close and said i was helping him solve alot of problems.

Recently when he comes to my office, he will ask my PA where is my woman and that one will laugh knowing i started it but i just thought that was it though.

So last month when we went to the Palms Mall, to seek for permission to film their facilities in the short production work we had, we were together then he decided to do some shopping, i helped him carry the things he bought and just had fun, he took me to shoprite and ask me to shop, i just pick two things, drink and rice and he said is that all i said yes, he started showing me things, take this, take that i said i was okay, that it wasnt appropriate to come here and start shopping like its month end. So we left, in the car he said, you do have some very good attribute girl, i said like what, he said never mind and we drove off.

After that he started asking if we can have lunch but most time our lunch time dont sync, so i told him not to worry, then he asked for a dinner, i close late, im a workaholic, so most times i will agree but i will work till 9pm and he would have waited and get tired and left.

Finally i get to have a dinner date with him and he ask if we could do this more often, i said why not boyfriend jokingly, the next time we were having dinner, I said boyfriend let me greet that guy there, i really needed to meet him, he has a contact i need for work, he held me and said you call me boyfriend jokingly, i want you to mean it lol.

After i met with the guy, he started telling me how he loved me and how he will really love us to be in a relationship, he doesnt expect a yes and he knows its so wrong on all level because we work in the same place, but i can think about it and give him a response later that he will respect any decision i make.

I said thank you o, but since then, dude is so soft and nervous when he sees me, i can see the butterflies even when we are in a client meeting.

Even though he tries not to make it obvious at work, after work he is all over me

Last night we were together, i told him i am scared as he is almost 40 and not married, that i believe any guy who gets to that age, with enough money but has not married is a play boy lol. He couldn't say a word for like some minutes then he said, yes i am old enough to have been married and i had relationships, beautiful relationships with wonderful women, some didn't work because of my mistakes and because of things i neglected and some didn't work because it was not meant to work, but above all have learnt alot to be at least a better man and i am ready to make it work this time i promise, i have no doubt if you are the right girl because have known you for long and have never had a second thought about my woman, so forgive me for not making it work all these while, i want to make it right this time - MEHN THOSE WORDS RINGS IN MY HEAD LIKE KILODE, i loved the fact that he didnt put the blame on the ladies he's dated.

Now on my own side, I do not feel anything for him but i like him alot, i like that we should be hanging out, go out, do dinner and talk from morning tonight but i do not feel anything aside that. What do you guys advise.

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr
You don't need to feel anything

Love is not all about feelings
It is a choice and decision


Loving someone is about taking a decision that you want to love a particular person and in a couple of days or months you will realize you are madly in love with the person already
So take a decision to love him

Chinkos99:
Am not mad
I can't/don't want to marry him

But I just like him being around me till he gets married to another girl, not that he pays my bills, but because I feel safe and secure around his arms

Wolgrace:
Hahahaha. Ladies' mastery of cunningness and deception is highly charmful & intoxicating..!

Madam, your first platonic move was a shot and huge rope you tied around his neck, and your aromatic charm is now leading him astray while making us to view you as innocent. You're playing a smart game on him, its quite impressive, but deceptive!!

Analysing your story, you've the mastered the art of deception. Jokes apart, right from genesis, you know this friendship would exceed this level with your permissive love chants, as our society demands a man to ask a lady out.

He finally did after making him drunk by your deceptive intoxication, & you have no feelings for him in other to opt out? Or trapped him as a means to sniff his pocket despite working in same company? Or are you trying to make us think you deserve him? Or waiting for us to give you a go ahead?

Another angle is that you guys might be destined together despite fate allowed to meet the second time, but EVE SYNDROME in you might blind and destroy you.

Chinkos99:
Our company recently employed this guy, we worked in the same company before, then he was a manager and i was a junior staff.

I left the company years ago and joined another, so few months ago he got employed in my new office as a Director.

When he resumed, being that i knew him before, i started playing around with him, like when he was introduced to us, i was like oo, common, i hug him tightly and people were surprise at our closeness before i informed them that we have worked together before.

I am a jovial person, so each time i go around his office, i will call him boyfriend, my love, hope no girl is trespassing cos i will fight o and his subordinates will laugh and say you are not serious.

On the job, we get to work together at times cos i am a Manager now, we go for meetings etc, then some of his job includes doing some short production, even though i am not employed as a video producer, i told him i can do those for him personally, cos i recently learn those, he was surprise before but he decided to give me a try, i did it for him and he liked it, he became close and said i was helping him solve alot of problems.

Recently when he comes to my office, he will ask my PA where is my woman and that one will laugh knowing i started it but i just thought that was it though.

So last month when we went to the Palms Mall, to seek for permission to film their facilities in the short production work we had, we were together then he decided to do some shopping, i helped him carry the things he bought and just had fun, he took me to shoprite and ask me to shop, i just pick two things, drink and rice and he said is that all i said yes, he started showing me things, take this, take that i said i was okay, that it wasnt appropriate to come here and start shopping like its month end. So we left, in the car he said, you do have some very good attribute girl, i said like what, he said never mind and we drove off.

After that he started asking if we can have lunch but most time our lunch time dont sync, so i told him not to worry, then he asked for a dinner, i close late, im a workaholic, so most times i will agree but i will work till 9pm and he would have waited and get tired and left.

Finally i get to have a dinner date with him and he ask if we could do this more often, i said why not boyfriend jokingly, the next time we were having dinner, I said boyfriend let me greet that guy there, i really needed to meet him, he has a contact i need for work, he held me and said you call me boyfriend jokingly, i want you to mean it lol.

After i met with the guy, he started telling me how he loved me and how he will really love us to be in a relationship, he doesnt expect a yes and he knows its so wrong on all level because we work in the same place, but i can think about it and give him a response later that he will respect any decision i make.

I said thank you o, but since then, dude is so soft and nervous when he sees me, i can see the butterflies even when we are in a client meeting.

Even though he tries not to make it obvious at work, after work he is all over me

Last night we were together, i told him i am scared as he is almost 40 and not married, that i believe any guy who gets to that age, with enough money but has not married is a play boy lol. He couldn't say a word for like some minutes then he said, yes i am old enough to have been married and i had relationships, beautiful relationships with wonderful women, some didn't work because of my mistakes and because of things i neglected and some didn't work because it was not meant to work, but above all have learnt alot to be at least a better man and i am ready to make it work this time i promise, i have no doubt if you are the right girl because have known you for long and have never had a second thought about my woman, so forgive me for not making it work all these while, i want to make it right this time - MEHN THOSE WORDS RINGS IN MY HEAD LIKE KILODE, i loved the fact that he didnt put the blame on the ladies he's dated.

Now on my own side, I do not feel anything for him but i like him alot, i like that we should be hanging out, go out, do dinner and talk from morning tonight but i do not feel anything aside that. What do you guys advise.

Farki:
Summary: My old coworker is with me in my new place. I formed familiarity and got his hopes high by "playfully" flirting and calling him sweet nothings.

The man tried to take me out on dinner dates and buy me gifts but I did shakara so after all that he still had to confess his love and obvious interest in dating me, but I don't love him because he is 40, well established and hasn't been married yet so I assume he is a player.

What should I do?

Chinkos99:
Am not mad
I can't/don't want to marry him
But I just like him being around me till he gets married to another girl, not that he pays my bills, but because I feel safe and secure around his arms

Chinkos99:
Hey I didn't set him up
Just took him as a workmate/ bestie

SirMichael1:
This is why i always caution my female friends who think it's cool to call me endearing names. Some think i'm too stiff, too serious. Well, i've been in a situation where i allowed one be so free that she started calling me babe, my handsome, etc. It was all fun until i started criss crossing ideas and it ended in tears.

To the topic, if the guy was the one asking this question, i'll tell him to reduce communiction with you, get a close female counterpart within the work space and 'pretend' he's moved on, all the while making you jealous. Well if you do get jealous (evidence that you've been denying your feelings), then you'll figure out a way to get back on track with him.

Chinkos99:
Hey I didn't set him up
Just took him as a workmate/ bestie

ethicallyright:
"A strong man doesn't have to be dominant toward a woman. He doesn't match his strength against a woman weak with love for him. He matches it against the world." - Marilyn Monroe.
Ride on pastor




Norma Jean, also Marilyn Monroe , was the Kardashian of the 60s. A sex figure she was - an innocent fine face, endowed with curly blonde hair and the slim figure 8 which were in Vogue few decades past. Many men who we would later define as simps ,fell at her feet and wished they could have just a night with the late thespian.

The quote above suggests that women do not love men who beg them for love. If he walked your flat ass out of his office and saw you as the flirt you are, you'd fall for him. If he didn't convert his job hours at the mall to a honey moon, the title of this thread could have been :

"I love my boss but he doesn't care"

or
" My boss is rich but doesn't love women. How do I make him notice and fall in love with me?"

We've warned these weak men consistently but they care little. Tell him to give you 5 million naira and thereafter tell him that he is " emotionally assaulting" you. Maybe he will learn this precious lesson the hard way.

Lucky lady, I give you my blessings!

Chinkos99:
Our company recently employed this guy, we worked in the same company before, then he was a manager and i was a junior staff.

I left the company years ago and joined another, so few months ago he got employed in my new office as a Director.

When he resumed, being that i knew him before, i started playing around with him, like when he was introduced to us, i was like oo, common, i hug him tightly and people were surprise at our closeness before i informed them that we have worked together before.

I am a jovial person, so each time i go around his office, i will call him boyfriend, my love, hope no girl is trespassing cos i will fight o and his subordinates will laugh and say you are not serious.

On the job, we get to work together at times cos i am a Manager now, we go for meetings etc, then some of his job includes doing some short production, even though i am not employed as a video producer, i told him i can do those for him personally, cos i recently learn those, he was surprise before but he decided to give me a try, i did it for him and he liked it, he became close and said i was helping him solve alot of problems.

Recently when he comes to my office, he will ask my PA where is my woman and that one will laugh knowing i started it but i just thought that was it though.

So last month when we went to the Palms Mall, to seek for permission to film their facilities in the short production work we had, we were together then he decided to do some shopping, i helped him carry the things he bought and just had fun, he took me to shoprite and ask me to shop, i just pick two things, drink and rice and he said is that all i said yes, he started showing me things, take this, take that i said i was okay, that it wasnt appropriate to come here and start shopping like its month end. So we left, in the car he said, you do have some very good attribute girl, i said like what, he said never mind and we drove off.

After that he started asking if we can have lunch but most time our lunch time dont sync, so i told him not to worry, then he asked for a dinner, i close late, im a workaholic, so most times i will agree but i will work till 9pm and he would have waited and get tired and left.

Finally i get to have a dinner date with him and he ask if we could do this more often, i said why not boyfriend jokingly, the next time we were having dinner, I said boyfriend let me greet that guy there, i really needed to meet him, he has a contact i need for work, he held me and said you call me boyfriend jokingly, i want you to mean it lol.

After i met with the guy, he started telling me how he loved me and how he will really love us to be in a relationship, he doesnt expect a yes and he knows its so wrong on all level because we work in the same place, but i can think about it and give him a response later that he will respect any decision i make.

I said thank you o, but since then, dude is so soft and nervous when he sees me, i can see the butterflies even when we are in a client meeting.

Even though he tries not to make it obvious at work, after work he is all over me

Last night we were together, i told him i am scared as he is almost 40 and not married, that i believe any guy who gets to that age, with enough money but has not married is a play boy lol. He couldn't say a word for like some minutes then he said, yes i am old enough to have been married and i had relationships, beautiful relationships with wonderful women, some didn't work because of my mistakes and because of things i neglected and some didn't work because it was not meant to work, but above all have learnt alot to be at least a better man and i am ready to make it work this time i promise, i have no doubt if you are the right girl because have known you for long and have never had a second thought about my woman, so forgive me for not making it work all these while, i want to make it right this time - MEHN THOSE WORDS RINGS IN MY HEAD LIKE KILODE, i loved the fact that he didnt put the blame on the ladies he's dated.

Now on my own side, I do not feel anything for him but i like him alot, i like that we should be hanging out, go out, do dinner and talk from morning tonight but i do not feel anything aside that. What do you guys advise.

Chinkos99:
Our company recently employed this guy, we worked in the same company before, then he was a manager and i was a junior staff.

I left the company years ago and joined another, so few months ago he got employed in my new office as a Director.

When he resumed, being that i knew him before, i started playing around with him, like when he was introduced to us, i was like oo, common, i hug him tightly and people were surprise at our closeness before i informed them that we have worked together before.

I am a jovial person, so each time i go around his office, i will call him boyfriend, my love, hope no girl is trespassing cos i will fight o and his subordinates will laugh and say you are not serious.

On the job, we get to work together at times cos i am a Manager now, we go for meetings etc, then some of his job includes doing some short production, even though i am not employed as a video producer, i told him i can do those for him personally, cos i recently learn those, he was surprise before but he decided to give me a try, i did it for him and he liked it, he became close and said i was helping him solve alot of problems.

Recently when he comes to my office, he will ask my PA where is my woman and that one will laugh knowing i started it but i just thought that was it though.

So last month when we went to the Palms Mall, to seek for permission to film their facilities in the short production work we had, we were together then he decided to do some shopping, i helped him carry the things he bought and just had fun, he took me to shoprite and ask me to shop, i just pick two things, drink and rice and he said is that all i said yes, he started showing me things, take this, take that i said i was okay, that it wasnt appropriate to come here and start shopping like its month end. So we left, in the car he said, you do have some very good attribute girl, i said like what, he said never mind and we drove off.

After that he started asking if we can have lunch but most time our lunch time dont sync, so i told him not to worry, then he asked for a dinner, i close late, im a workaholic, so most times i will agree but i will work till 9pm and he would have waited and get tired and left.

Finally i get to have a dinner date with him and he ask if we could do this more often, i said why not boyfriend jokingly, the next time we were having dinner, I said boyfriend let me greet that guy there, i really needed to meet him, he has a contact i need for work, he held me and said you call me boyfriend jokingly, i want you to mean it lol.

After i met with the guy, he started telling me how he loved me and how he will really love us to be in a relationship, he doesnt expect a yes and he knows its so wrong on all level because we work in the same place, but i can think about it and give him a response later that he will respect any decision i make.

I said thank you o, but since then, dude is so soft and nervous when he sees me, i can see the butterflies even when we are in a client meeting.

Even though he tries not to make it obvious at work, after work he is all over me

Last night we were together, i told him i am scared as he is almost 40 and not married, that i believe any guy who gets to that age, with enough money but has not married is a play boy lol. He couldn't say a word for like some minutes then he said, yes i am old enough to have been married and i had relationships, beautiful relationships with wonderful women, some didn't work because of my mistakes and because of things i neglected and some didn't work because it was not meant to work, but above all have learnt alot to be at least a better man and i am ready to make it work this time i promise, i have no doubt if you are the right girl because have known you for long and have never had a second thought about my woman, so forgive me for not making it work all these while, i want to make it right this time - MEHN THOSE WORDS RINGS IN MY HEAD LIKE KILODE, i loved the fact that he didnt put the blame on the ladies he's dated.

Now on my own side, I do not feel anything for him but i like him alot, i like that we should be hanging out, go out, do dinner and talk from morning tonight but i do not feel anything aside that. What do you guys advise.

Chinkos99:
Our company recently employed this guy, we worked in the same company before, then he was a manager and i was a junior staff.

I left the company years ago and joined another, so few months ago he got employed in my new office as a Director.

When he resumed, being that i knew him before, i started playing around with him, like when he was introduced to us, i was like oo, common, i hug him tightly and people were surprise at our closeness before i informed them that we have worked together before.

I am a jovial person, so each time i go around his office, i will call him boyfriend, my love, hope no girl is trespassing cos i will fight o and his subordinates will laugh and say you are not serious.

On the job, we get to work together at times cos i am a Manager now, we go for meetings etc, then some of his job includes doing some short production, even though i am not employed as a video producer, i told him i can do those for him personally, cos i recently learn those, he was surprise before but he decided to give me a try, i did it for him and he liked it, he became close and said i was helping him solve alot of problems.

Recently when he comes to my office, he will ask my PA where is my woman and that one will laugh knowing i started it but i just thought that was it though.

So last month when we went to the Palms Mall, to seek for permission to film their facilities in the short production work we had, we were together then he decided to do some shopping, i helped him carry the things he bought and just had fun, he took me to shoprite and ask me to shop, i just pick two things, drink and rice and he said is that all i said yes, he started showing me things, take this, take that i said i was okay, that it wasnt appropriate to come here and start shopping like its month end. So we left, in the car he said, you do have some very good attribute girl, i said like what, he said never mind and we drove off.

After that he started asking if we can have lunch but most time our lunch time dont sync, so i told him not to worry, then he asked for a dinner, i close late, im a workaholic, so most times i will agree but i will work till 9pm and he would have waited and get tired and left.

Finally i get to have a dinner date with him and he ask if we could do this more often, i said why not boyfriend jokingly, the next time we were having dinner, I said boyfriend let me greet that guy there, i really needed to meet him, he has a contact i need for work, he held me and said you call me boyfriend jokingly, i want you to mean it lol.

After i met with the guy, he started telling me how he loved me and how he will really love us to be in a relationship, he doesnt expect a yes and he knows its so wrong on all level because we work in the same place, but i can think about it and give him a response later that he will respect any decision i make.

I said thank you o, but since then, dude is so soft and nervous when he sees me, i can see the butterflies even when we are in a client meeting.

Even though he tries not to make it obvious at work, after work he is all over me

Last night we were together, i told him i am scared as he is almost 40 and not married, that i believe any guy who gets to that age, with enough money but has not married is a play boy lol. He couldn't say a word for like some minutes then he said, yes i am old enough to have been married and i had relationships, beautiful relationships with wonderful women, some didn't work because of my mistakes and because of things i neglected and some didn't work because it was not meant to work, but above all have learnt alot to be at least a better man and i am ready to make it work this time i promise, i have no doubt if you are the right girl because have known you for long and have never had a second thought about my woman, so forgive me for not making it work all these while, i want to make it right this time - MEHN THOSE WORDS RINGS IN MY HEAD LIKE KILODE, i loved the fact that he didnt put the blame on the ladies he's dated.

Now on my own side, I do not feel anything for him but i like him alot, i like that we should be hanging out, go out, do dinner and talk from morning tonight but i do not feel anything aside that. What do you guys advise.

Chinkos99:
Hey I didn't set him up
Just took him as a workmate/ bestie