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Mm / You Love & You Hate! Hmm Mm! / ★★Mm (2) (3) (4)

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Mm by Rotjijatau(m): 2:14pm On Aug 10, 2020
aa

6 Likes

Re: Mm by blackpanthar: 2:19pm On Aug 10, 2020
Rotjijatau:
I'm writing this piece with due permission because both parties involved are on nairaland. My friend & his wife had a small issue that made them to keep malice for more than a week. Then last Friday he went to work & she sent him a text message that read "I am going with our son, whenever you are calm & settled, come for us, the key is under the footmat in front of the door" to his greatest surprise he came back home later in the evening & didn't meet her. He didn't call her, next day Saturday no communication whatsoever from them, Sunday which was yesterday same & today too no communication. Everyone adviced him not call her since he didn't send her out of the house neither has he ever maltreated her. Maybe she's trying to show him that whatever happens she has a place to go. I think her mother is suppose to ask her why she came home or better still contact the husband to know why her daughter came back but nobody from her family contacted him. He has packed all her things together in the house so that anytime she wants to come & pack, its fine by him & if she comes back its still fine by him. What is your advice or take on this? They really live each other that they can die for each other but right now I don't know what the devil is doing.
ok first, ARE YOU YOUR FRIEND?
because if you are a THIRD PARTY... then this matter does not concern you o.

Your post shows you lack details on what transpired or you just refuse to share.

also... A MAN WHO RECEIVED MESSAGE FROM HIS WIFE THAT SHE IS LEAVING... SHOULD NOT BE SHOCKED IF HE COMES HOME AND FINDS THAT SHE HAS LEFT.

LASTLY... it will be very very improper for any of us here to judge this matter without hearing from BOTH PARTIES... your assumption that they LOVE each other that they can die for each other is a TOTAL LIE....

To judge a matter by hearing from ONE PARTY is really not right, but to judge it by hearing from THIRD PARTY(you) will be very unfair.
They have parents and relatives... pls allow them sort it out and keep it out of nairaland.

PEOPLE SHOULD STOP BRINGING PRIVATE MATTERS TO THE PUBLIC. The public didnt choose their marriage for them... public opinion is not usually right.

ARE THEY NOT MUSLIMS OR CHRISTIANS? The cleric/pastor who joined them together should also help if both family's relatives are failing to correctly resolve the matter...


Your post is too VAGUE for any counselor to help or interfere. If you are not the spouse and its truly your friend, pls leave this matter and keep the internet media out of it.

54 Likes

Re: Mm by DontGiveUpYet: 2:21pm On Aug 10, 2020
Complicated case.

Wisdom is profitable. The husband should forget about pride and call her. Although this may mean run back to your mom's place anytime there's a little misunderstanding from in her matrimonial home.

6 Likes

Re: Mm by MJBOLT: 2:21pm On Aug 10, 2020
let your friend and his wife say their own side of the story,we dont need their story from a third party.

9 Likes

Re: Mm by culf: 2:22pm On Aug 10, 2020
Why do some women like causing unnecessary troubles for themselves?

He should call his in-laws to tel them what his wife did, whether he wants to go for her or not, courtesy demands that he inform them.

10 Likes

Re: Mm by bigpicture001: 2:23pm On Aug 10, 2020
Very hard to advice.. Without calming down first.....

It's toff, we need a bottle of origin.. To relax the brain
Re: Mm by Rotjijatau(m): 2:24pm On Aug 10, 2020
culf:
Why do some women like causing unnecessary troubles for themselves?

He should call his in-laws to tel them what his wife did, whether he wants to go for her or not, courtesy demands that he inform them.
There's nothing to call & tell them, I think they are suppose to be the ones to ask him what happened since he didn't send her out of the house.

6 Likes

Re: Mm by Rotjijatau(m): 2:25pm On Aug 10, 2020
bigpicture001:
Very hard to advice.. Without calming down first.....

It's toff, we need a bottle of origin.. To relax the brain
Very hard my brother I don't even know what how advice him sincerely.
Re: Mm by Nobody: 2:27pm On Aug 10, 2020
Lol it is always our friend not us. Anyway since you are not preview to what the problem really are, let them have their space when Konji hold them they would find themselves.

2 Likes

Re: Mm by Ayemileto(m): 2:33pm On Aug 10, 2020
This is how foolish people kill their marriage. cool

Saying sorry or placing a call won't kill the man. Neither will the woman die if she apologize first.

But the "Ego" and "Pride" of each human always go before them, and this pride have made many loose a lot of things they regret losing, and many will still lose more.



By the time the divorce finally happen, even you, their family friend and all 3rd parties who advised them not to place that call, won't be there for them.

Even the wife's mother won't feel the brunt.

That's when you'll be hearing stuffs like "you want to break my marriage like you break yours?"

Or something like

"Did I force you to divorce your spouse?"

They won't say or remember they advised you not to call then.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Genesis 2: 24.


He will "cleave" to his wife, not his wife's family, or 3rd parties.



If they like don't let them settle their differences ASAP.

Divorce is 50% completed already.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Mm by luminouz(m): 2:37pm On Aug 10, 2020
Check your story properly and you will see there is nothing to advice OP about.

He already made up his mind.


Where do y'all get these stories? Mars?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Mm by thesicilian: 2:38pm On Aug 10, 2020
Let me quickly hustle for something to eat then I'll come and let you know how much this matter does not concern me.
Re: Mm by MEGA4BILLION(m): 2:51pm On Aug 10, 2020
Wait for the guy to calm & settled before you start seeking for advice.
Both of them are not ready for that marriage, at this point none of them will listen to anyone until they are ready.
Re: Mm by Or11: 2:57pm On Aug 10, 2020
Sounds like the man was violent to the wife, if he was then he needs to go apologize

1 Like

Re: Mm by Rotjijatau(m): 2:59pm On Aug 10, 2020
Or11:
Sounds like the man was violent to the wife, if he was then he needs to go apologize
he has never raised his hands in her.
Re: Mm by Or11: 3:02pm On Aug 10, 2020
Rotjijatau:
he has never raised his hands in her.

Are you sure about that? You have probably only heard the husbands side. A woman wouldn't pack her things because of mere argument.

6 Likes

Re: Mm by drnoel: 3:05pm On Aug 10, 2020
blackpanthar:

ok first, ARE YOU YOUR FRIEND?
because if you are a THIRD PARTY... then this matter does not concern you o.

Your post shows you lack details on what transpired or you just refuse to share.

also... A MAN WHO RECEIVED MESSAGE FROM HIS WIFE THAT SHE IS LEAVING... SHOULD NOT BE SHOCKED IF HE COMES HOME AND FINDS THAT SHE HAS LEFT.

LASTLY... it will be very very improper for any of us here to judge this matter without hearing from BOTH PARTIES... your assumption that they LOVE each other that they can die for each other is a TOTAL LIE....

To judge a matter by hearing from ONE PARTY is really not right, but to judge it by hearing from THIRD PARTY(you) will be very unfair.
They have parents and relatives... pls allow them sort it out and keep it out of nairaland.

PEOPLE SHOULD STOP BRINGING PRIVATE MATTERS TO THE PUBLIC. The public didnt choose their marriage for them... public opinion is not usually right.

ARE THEY NOT MUSLIMS OR CHRISTIANS? The cleric/pastor who joined them together should also help if both family's relatives are failing to correctly resolve the matter...


Your post is too VAGUE for any counselor to help or interfere. If you are not the spouse and its truly your friend, pls leave this matter and keep the internet media out of it.

Details is not necessary. We don't need details, cos it's an internal issue. Doesn't concern us. The reason is cos 3rd parties are usually regarded as enemies of progress after a couple settle an issue. If they love eachother then this won't break them. But one person has to play the fool for peace to rein. Elders that said "In marriage there is no pride", knew what they were talking when they said it. Once u marry a wife and start having children by her, both of u have to learn to throw pride outa da window.
Cheers!
Re: Mm by Rotjijatau(m): 3:07pm On Aug 10, 2020
drnoel:


Details is not necessary. We don't need details, cos it's an internal issue. Doesn't concern us. The reason is cos 3rd parties are usually regarded as enemies of progress after a couple settle an issue. If they love eachother then this won't break them. But one person has to play the fool for peace to rein. Elders that said "In marriage there is no pride", knew what they were talking when they said it. Once u marry a wife and start having children by her, both of u have to learn to throw pride outa da window.
Cheers!
My brother, you're 300% right... You need to be a marriage counselor

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Mm by UDUJ(m): 3:10pm On Aug 10, 2020
drnoel:


Details is not necessary. We don't need details, cos it's an internal issue. Doesn't concern us. The reason is cos 3rd parties are usually regarded as enemies of progress after a couple settle an issue. If they love eachother then this won't break them. But one person has to play the fool for peace to rein. Elders that said "In marriage there is no pride", knew what they were talking when they said it. Once u marry a wife and start having children by her, both of u have to learn to throw pride outa da window.
Cheers!

You are a very wise person. This is the exact reason I didn't even bother commenting. It's an internal issue and 3rd parties are not needed. If both parties were mature enough to get married, then they should be mature enough to resolve issues like this if they are still interested in the marriage. I see no reason for this thread. This is no insult to the Op acting as a caring friend and hence the need to seek our opinions.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Mm by drnoel: 3:10pm On Aug 10, 2020
Rotjijatau:
My brother, you're 300% right... You need to be a marriage counselor

Lol, I don't need to be a marriage counselor. I am just an experienced husband and father.

1 Like

Re: Mm by Oksman(m): 3:33pm On Aug 10, 2020
Rotjijatau:
he has never raised his hands in her.

Y faking an alibi? How do you know all these things in their marriage if you are not the one involved? Well from my experience if the woman doesn't return she might loose her marriage because she's the one at fault here. The man will only call if he is deeply attached to her and feels guilty but if not, hmmm. All said, he should call to find out if she arrived safely at least so that no one blames him tomorrow. Most young couple � discover within a short of their marriage that it is not a bed of roses and hence are overwhelmed leading to such exit behaviour as the only succour.
Re: Mm by Skmoda360(m): 3:38pm On Aug 10, 2020
Rotjijatau:
I'm writing this piece with due permission because both parties involved are on nairaland. My friend & his wife had a small issue that made them to keep malice for more than a week. Then last Friday he went to work & she sent him a text message that read "I am going with our son, whenever you are calm & settled, come for us, the key is under the footmat in front of the door" to his greatest surprise he came back home later in the evening & didn't meet her. He didn't call her, next day Saturday no communication whatsoever from them, Sunday which was yesterday same & today too no communication. Everyone adviced him not call her since he didn't send her out of the house neither has he ever maltreated her. Maybe she's trying to show him that whatever happens she has a place to go. I think her mother is suppose to ask her why she came home or better still contact the husband to know why his wife came back but nobody from her family contacted him. On a second thought, the mother shouldn't be blamed since nobody knows what the wife told her mother, but this is not the first time the mother is acting in this manner. He has put all her belongings together in the house so that anytime she wants to come & pack, its fine by him & if she comes back its still fine by him. Anything she wants to do is very okay with him, he just want to keep his hands clean. What is your advice or take on this? One thing has been hindering him from making a move to call or look for settlement is PRIDE & EGO. They really love each other that they can die for each other but right now I don't know what the devil is doing.
If I should advice, stay away from their issue and let them sort it out because you are a third party and if anything should happen, all the blame will be heap on you.
Re: Mm by Amb1045(m): 3:47pm On Aug 10, 2020
As a married man, you don't keep malice with a woman they're rational thinkers. Women are like kids that needs to be pampered to bring out the best in them. Call her to come back and caution her with things you like and things you don't like

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Mm by Rotjijatau(m): 3:51pm On Aug 10, 2020
I think if he calls her to come back all in the name of putting away his pride & ego then she'll always do that whenever they have problem since this isn't the first time she's doing such. So I think he should allow her & see the end of it because everything dey her hand. If she trully wants the marriage, home & husband then she'll come back. If they see what a lot of couples out there are enduring in their marriages then they'll know that theirs is child's play. Marriage is not a bed of roses, no one should ever deceive you into thinking there's a perfect marriage without problems or issues.

1 Like

Re: Mm by Unnerve: 3:58pm On Aug 10, 2020
He should please call to ask about his son and how he's doing. Their conversation should only be about his son and nothing else.

There's no need putting her belongings together, just let the demon that is after her finish his work and she will be back.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Mm by Openbusiness4: 4:58pm On Aug 10, 2020
Rotjijatau:
I'm writing this piece with due permission because both parties involved are on nairaland. My friend & his wife had a small issue that made them to keep malice for more than a week. Then last Friday he went to work & she sent him a text message that read "I am going with our son, whenever you are calm & settled, come for us, the key is under the footmat in front of the door" to his greatest surprise he came back home later in the evening & didn't meet her. He didn't call her, next day Saturday no communication whatsoever from them, Sunday which was yesterday same & today too no communication. Everyone adviced him not call her since he didn't send her out of the house neither has he ever maltreated her. Maybe she's trying to show him that whatever happens she has a place to go. I think her mother is suppose to ask her why she came home or better still contact the husband to know why his wife came back but nobody from her family contacted him. On a second thought, the mother shouldn't be blamed since nobody knows what the wife told her mother, but this is not the first time the mother is acting in this manner. He has put all her belongings together in the house so that anytime she wants to come & pack, its fine by him & if she comes back its still fine by him. Anything she wants to do is very okay with him, he just want to keep his hands clean. What is your advice or take on this? One thing has been hindering him from making a move to call or look for settlement is PRIDE & EGO. They really love each other that they can die for each other but right now I don't know what the devil is doing.
Tell him to go and pick his son back home. She can go wherever she likes but she has no right at all to just carry his son and leave. If she is with her family and they didn't reach out to you, then it is clear that they are fully supporting her actions because there is a high chance she has already fed them lies and poisoned their view against you. But that's not your problem. Na their wahala b dat. But tell him to go and pick his son immediately. That's how this indomie wives create a hedge between a father and his children. Never allow such to happen. If she goes into hiding, tell her you're ready to spend any amount to track her down and punish her in a way she will regret for the rest of her life. Tell her you will report her to anti-kidnapping unit that she kidnapped your son and taken him to go do ritual. Don't just threaten, take action and report the case if she doesn't produce your son within 24 hours. If you don't stand your ground now, she will keep repeating this evil rubbish. Well, as for me, I love my son 100% and nobody taking him from me unless u wanna die for nutin. I don't know about your friend sha, how much he values his son.

1 Like

Re: Mm by EmzyT: 5:04pm On Aug 10, 2020
Later na the kind of Frustrated people like dem Some people for Nairaland go dey take advice from.. Many of them go come online dey behave like sah their life perfect.. Dry form Relationship Coaches sad People wey never even sabi better their own life... Abegiiiii

1 Like

Re: Mm by ProtectMyMoney: 5:25pm On Aug 10, 2020
Rotjijatau:
I'm writing this piece with due permission because both parties die for each other but right now I don't know what the devil is doing.

Very simple matter.

First report at the Police station to make an entry.
2ndly Call her mother to let them know that your wife has left home without any knowledge or information on her whereabout and you give them 24hrs to produce her.

3rdly Change the lock on your door so that only you control access to your house.

Her mum must beg on her behalf before she enters that house again since you didn't send her away.

If you don't hear from them, use the Police to storm her parents house to produce your wife and son.

Give us feed back on Nairaland.
Re: Mm by Louisosazee(m): 5:31pm On Aug 10, 2020
blackpanthar:

ok first, ARE YOU YOUR FRIEND?
because if you are a THIRD PARTY... then this matter does not concern you o.

Your post shows you lack details on what transpired or you just refuse to share.

also... A MAN WHO RECEIVED MESSAGE FROM HIS WIFE THAT SHE IS LEAVING... SHOULD NOT BE SHOCKED IF HE COMES HOME AND FINDS THAT SHE HAS LEFT.

LASTLY... it will be very very improper for any of us here to judge this matter without hearing from BOTH PARTIES... your assumption that they LOVE each other that they can die for each other is a TOTAL LIE....

To judge a matter by hearing from ONE PARTY is really not right, but to judge it by hearing from THIRD PARTY(you) will be very unfair.
They have parents and relatives... pls allow them sort it out and keep it out of nairaland.

PEOPLE SHOULD STOP BRINGING PRIVATE MATTERS TO THE PUBLIC. The public didnt choose their marriage for them... public opinion is not usually right.

ARE THEY NOT MUSLIMS OR CHRISTIANS? The cleric/pastor who joined them together should also help if both family's relatives are failing to correctly resolve the matter...


Your post is too VAGUE for any counselor to help or interfere. If you are not the spouse and its truly your friend, pls leave this matter and keep the internet media out of it.

God bless you for this straight forward comment of yours....
Re: Mm by Nicepoker(m): 5:39pm On Aug 10, 2020
I can't interfere in someone's matrimonial affairs.
Re: Mm by Newboss(m): 6:04pm On Aug 10, 2020
Tell that your friend not to ever call her again. Don't be unfortunate. Be a man. Men are firm.

Try that with me. By the time you come back, I'd already have another woman living with me FULL-TIME

1 Like

Re: Mm by skillmyman(m): 6:20pm On Aug 10, 2020
hey bro,
there is no ego or pride in marriage.
nobody forced the lady on him.
if he is yoruba, it means he actually went to beg for him to marry her
and in the process of engagement, he said he promised to keep and
protect her.

for me, I think he should talk things through with his wife.
keeping malice for a whole week is really childish.

being a man is also about resolving issues amicably with your wife.

3 Likes

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