OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

It depends on the size of the house
It depends on the financial strength of the man
It depends on the number of people living in the family house

J111333:
Yea, your sister is doing the right thing. The man should at least kill his mum or chase her away before planning to get married so as not to discomfort his wife.

Biko advise your sister to keep waiting on the Lord for a good man.

U have PhD in sarcasm

Powerfly:
I dunno oo.
let's just wait for the Alpha~male elders to arrive.. I'm sure they will have what to say, and advice to give..
the only problem is.. They might call the guy wanting to marry your sister a simp!

Why do you have to wait for them to arrive before you give your opinion?

Mgtowmonk:
can't your sister rent an apartment with her own money?
The guy is doing her a favor by marrying her yet she still dictating how he should live his life

Doing her a favor?

zed7:
The question should be is the husband going to take the right decision? Your sister has made her choice. Is the man going to be smart enough to let her go without begging her?

You can't love me and not love my family, there's no point. It's not like they are going to stay there forever, probably to save up some money first. No man who doesn't like his independence, it circumstances that makes people take some decisions.

I'm not saying your sister doesn't have a right to her decisions, the man just has to be wise enough to let her go to avoid future problems.

Staying on bis own with his wife doesn't mean the wife doesn't love the family. It is the proper thing for a man to av a roof over his head before getting married.

" Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife:and they shall be one flesh." Genesis2:24....... I think there will be problems after the marriage no matter what. Rushing into such marriage is suicidal, so it's best she stays off for now. God will definitely give her the right person.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

Her decision is great. I stand by her. That man is not matured. Why spend thousands of naira on fanfare den ignore getting an apartment?

angelfallz:


Why do you have to wait for them to arrive before you give your opinion?

Yes... Tradition says... Pay some respect.

frank417:
Why would a man with no place of his own even consider marriage?

Your sister did right bro.

Have u considered age? Also they part of Nigeria he's from. Here in Jos they do dat slot bcuz de believe in early marriage. Buh an Igbo man don't mind to be 50 n unmarried so as dere ladies

How did they get to wedding plans before this?

What was discussed all through dating blah blah?

Weird

This forum is full of/with kids, so annoying, how can someone say that he is doing her a favor by marrying her.

Chii59:

Believe it o. A lot of toxic masculinity on display. I can only pity the wives or gf of these kind of individuals.

Exactly. I pity them, too.

She is right, I support her decision.

How can you as a man get married and opt to live with your mom? You should rent an apartment then invite her as often as possible.The man and woman should talk this out rather than cancel the wedding though.Living with parents after marriage is wrong if you have the means to get your own accomodation.

I support her pls,she is doing the rite thing,becus mother in-law no be small wahala oo.and while will a guy says he want to marry without renting is own house.

zed7:
The question should be is the husband going to take the right decision? Your sister has made her choice. Is the man going to be smart enough to let her go without begging her?

You can't love me and not love my family, there's no point. It's not like they are going to stay there forever, probably to save up some money first. No man who doesn't like his independence, it circumstances that makes people take some decisions.

I'm not saying your sister doesn't have a right to her decisions, the man just has to be wise enough to let her go to avoid future problems.

What are you saying,dont you know what the Bible say that a man shall leave his father house,if he is not ready to be a man,he should bother himself of getting marry

Powerfly:


Yes... Tradition says... Pay some respect.

You must be the only person following that tradition then.

Women are cursed with stupidity and foolishness combined, she is doing the right thing by cancelling her wedding no problem in few years time she would be running around different churches blaming the devil for her decision..

Roheemah04:
She's doing the right thing

angelfallz:

You must be the only person following that tradition then.

ya.. Maybe.

YES, YOUR SISTER DID THE RIGHT THING. MARRIAGE IS FOR THE PREPARED AND THE MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS ARE , ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD, FOOD AND BED TO SLEEP ON

zed7:
The question should be is the husband going to take the right decision? Your sister has made her choice. Is the man going to be smart enough to let her go without begging her?

You can't love me and not love my family, there's no point. It's not like they are going to stay there forever, probably to save up some money first. No man who doesn't like his independence, it circumstances that makes people take some decisions.

I'm not saying your sister doesn't have a right to her decisions, the man just has to be wise enough to let her go to avoid future problems.

You can say all U care for, all I know is that her decision is very good for her and for the health of the yet to be marriage, if you don't know, know it now incase you are yet to marry

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

I think it's the right decision.

The husband should try n bend.

J111333:
Yea, your sister is doing the right thing. The man should at least kill his mum or chase her away before planning to get married so as not to discomfort his wife.

Biko advise your sister to keep waiting on the Lord for a good man.

Savage

4lorunsho:




I don't agree with what you're saying... Must he stay with his mother after marriage...... There should be breathing space na. He has started his life and the mother own is to support. Maybe once in 3 month she should go and say hello.

is there a guarantee that the girls mother won't come and stay in their apartment,

women are too manipulative,

Yrey:

You know if the op family get cash pass the man? Una go just open mouth waaaa

It doesn't matter,
a woman is a woman,
the richer she is the worse ( not all though but majority)

lightpurple:
Only because Nigerian economy favors men when it comes to finance

marriage favours women only, take it anywhere,

dear men! It's not easy to marry two women.... Ur mother nd ur wife... See u see early grave......







Anyways, am here to read comments..... But de girl did well..... Talkin from experience.....

vickydevoka:

My cousin did desame thing n she's regretting it. Where she wan get rich fyn guy lyk dat again above all cool, jst because of he wants this brothers to stay on de same compound with Dem untill de get a job, she refused

it's annoying,I've seen someone like that,he has an issue,he tells mum,if mummy says do he does ,if she says no he doesn't, he even wanted marrying a lady , because the mum didn't like her tribe ,she said no.

Your sister is doing the best thing
No fear, if she continue she would end up in premium tears cause she won’t have a say of her own in the house(that’s not her home)
Stand by her and support her decision, am telling you.
The Bible says leave and cleave, he should forget saving cost. Does he have tomorrow in his pocket that he can bring out the cash and build asap.
If that’s his plan then let him start the building now before marriage

Asia's do the same here, two or three married make siblings can live in a small three or four-bedroom family house with their spouses. It is horrible and I don't know how they manage, especially the women. But thinking about, it could be because they often marry their relatives

Marriage is self-actualisation and means taking care f the basics and needful first.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

She should consider the financial capacity of the man I bet your sister can't endure. Living with his mine might help him save till the main time. It depends on your sisters choice whatever rocks her boat.

This is my personal experience, when I wanted to get married, I told my wife to be, that we would be staying in my family house, for two reasons, 1st my family house was very cheap, I was the person paying the rent ohh, but I told her, let's stay here and manage, may be from here we can build our own house and plan very well for ourselves.
2nd was, its cheaper for me to take care of my nuclear family and extended family. Meaning if my wife cooks, my mum and siblings can also eat from the same pot.

But this was one of the worst decisions I have ever made in my life. My Mum and wife go start wahala, my mum onces called my wife, Ashawo in the bible become saint. My Younger sister once called my wife Ashawo. Sometimes I would meet my wife outside the house, mostly about 2 street away from our street waiting for me to come back from work, she would be crying. I would have to beg her and we would go home together. From what I understand, my mum and siblings see the house has there house and sees my wife as an outsider. Know matter how I try to please my extended family, they are never satisfied. Not that my wife don't have her own side, but am of the believe that, if I do 90 percent good and I erroneously commit 10 percent wrong, people should try and forgive because, the wrong was not done on purpose.

To God be the glory, all that myself and my wife wanted to accomplish because we wanted to stay in a family house, we have accomplished it even more than we could imagined, but the relationship between my wife and my mum and sisters got damaged through this process. Even till today, even after like 10 years my mum doesn't collect food from my wife. My mum has relocated to the village and I now have full possion of the house, but mama and my wife know they gree.

IF I COME TO THIS LIFE AGAIN, EVEN IF MY MAMA GO DIE, MAKE SHE DIE, I WOULD NOT LEAVE IN A FAMILY HOUSE AGAIN. EVEN IF THEY CANT EAT, ITS THERE BUSINESS, I WILL TAKE MY WIFE GO RENT ANY KIND OF HOUSE, THE REASON IS, MY FAMILY I WAS TRYING TO HELP DIDNOT EVEN SEE IT THAT I WAS COVERING THERE SHAME, THEY JUST WANT TO BOUNCE ON MY WIFE ON ANY SMALL ISSUE.

YOUR SISTER DID THE RIGHT THING. STAYING IN FAMILY HOUSE WOULD ONLY CAUSE ISSUES.