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My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? - Family (9) - Nairaland

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Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It / I Am Scared! My Wedding Is This Month & I Haven't Told My Fiancé About My 3 Kids / Am I Wicked Or Did I Do The Right Thing? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by akp202(m): 5:42am On Aug 11, 2020
zed7:
The question should be is the husband going to take the right decision? Your sister has made her choice. Is the man going to be smart enough to let her go without begging her?

You can't love me and not love my family, there's no point. It's not like they are going to stay there forever, probably to save up some money first. No man who doesn't like his independence, it circumstances that makes people take some decisions.

I'm not saying your sister doesn't have a right to her decisions, the man just has to be wise enough to let her go to avoid future problems.
this is not about issue of loving ones family and really do not see why d issue should get twisted. Would d man be comfortable if d lady had told him they would be staying with her parents?
There is a sequence when it comes to marriage and one of which is to leave ur father's house (even if where u re moving to is a kiosk) and a man who has fail to do this is not ready for marriage

3 Likes

Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by akp202(m): 5:44am On Aug 11, 2020
sexy74:
Your sister never ready marry.
She should try and know the reason why the guy wants it that way and try to reach a compromise.
The guy has known his mother all his life and there might be a strong bond between both of them., she cannot just come and destroy it because he wants to marry her.
That your sister will chase the guys family from him.

Your sister has pride let her keep it to herself .
if he is not ready to leave his mother's house because of some sort of bond he shares with his family then he is not ready for marriage

3 Likes

Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by mamaafrik(m): 5:54am On Aug 11, 2020
OluwaLina1:

He said he don't want his mum to feel lonely and his mum won't be free if she comes to stay in his appartment
he should her a maid or neice,your sister is right
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by naturefellow(m): 5:58am On Aug 11, 2020
Well, she has every right to suspend the wedding indefinitely, and ultimately call it off.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Mgtowmonk: 6:02am On Aug 11, 2020
.........
.
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by anochuko01(m): 6:12am On Aug 11, 2020
hosemujica:
It depends on a lot of things. Man and woman should leave their parents house to live together as husband and wife. Anything other than that for a start is a bad foundation.

The way I'm seeing it, the guy is a mummy's boy, as such won't want to leave his mums side, otherwise the best thing to do is to first of all use the funds for the wedding to get himself accommodation before the wedding proper.

She should try and convince him that nothing comes out of a married guy living in his mother's house with his wife, if the mother comes to visit him every once in a while that's manageable but outrightly sharing the same roof is a recipe for disaster. Meanwhile suspension of the wedding while they talk things over is better than outrightly cancelling it.

dont jump into conclusions oga, as this story isnt a complete one. do you think a man would just wake up to make that kind of decision?

i know of a guy who did this same thing. the father has two buildings in the compound and the guy stayed in the smaller one. he runs his business in one of the shops. this guy built his own house in less than two years, bought two cars, completed his fathers other building and sponsors most of the thing in the family.

a person like me would have loved to leave my family and do my hustle somewhere else, but i have three young sisters and i cant leave them exposed for anything until when i feel the time is right.

God forbids, but if anything goes wrong with their finances later on and the fathers house is their only option, wont she go there?

is the working?
how far has he gone with his building?
can his job build a house ASAP?
whats the physical condition of his moms house?
how behaved is the mother?
how behaved is the wife?

all these things can be considered and have decisions made from them rather than jumping into conclusions.

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by MartinsD12(m): 6:20am On Aug 11, 2020
OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?
The man is not a man yet, he is probably dependent on the mum or what they call mummy's boy, he has no business with marriage until he is man enough to take his own decisions even the Bible made it clear that a man will leave his father's house to build his new home with his new wife that is biblical instruction on marriage, the Bible didn't say the man will remain in his family house and get married to his wife, it says will leave, leave their means either a rented house or his own built house away from his parents house.
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by xperiencelove(m): 6:21am On Aug 11, 2020
Your sister is gonna be a first-hand house help
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by lonelydora: 6:27am On Aug 11, 2020
OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

Your sister is very right. Better a failed courtship than a broken marriage. A man who can't rent a home for his new wife and still wants to be doing attachee is not yet ready for marriage. Your sister is trying to avoid "see finish" frim her MIL.

Once Divorcee is attached to her name, she will find it difficult getting another man in a country like Nigeria.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by JOSH54: 6:31am On Aug 11, 2020
OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?
Ur sister is taking d right step. Even d bible says a man will leave his father's house to be united with his wife but i see its women dat do leave. Ur sister have even tried to convice him to rent face me, he wants to be his mom pet
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Nobody: 6:45am On Aug 11, 2020
Lol. Living with anybody single or married requires patience. A very big dose. Issue is that women run the home. If the man ran the home, there would be no issues. He can take in anybody and do somehow as he pleases. Living with people creates issues and most newly weds will not survive it depending how their lives are structured. If the lady is a working class lady, it means cooking during weekdays will neither be here not there. What will the mother do in that instance or would she be the cook? Does the mother have a maid or will the guy get one? Will they hire a cook? Or is the intention for the woman to run the house and be these things? Its the mothers house so she will have visitors, siblings, friends come over. She will likely be required to entertain even if she is not into it. And then clean up. So when she wants privacy to do stuffs or just be alone, not possible. We don't know how big the house is. We do not know how stressless or stressful the arrangement will be for her. The devil is in the details. If it is the former, she is right to cancel. Kolerwerk. She will run herself down , loose her job and become unattractive. Na the MIL go go find another woman for the son sef as this one done "wash". The only condition is if it is a very big house and winged in such a way that they have some privacy in their own wing and the mother inlaw is intentionally the respectful and non intrusive type who understands that her daughter inlaw has to enjoy her marriage. Never ever burden another man's daughter with your siblings or parents except you have made arrangements about running of the house generally and some semi privacy for both of you. But it is quite wrong to marry a new wife and have her start catering to a full house of grown ups without a maid or a cook and she is also working class. You the man must be smoking weed. Marriage is not an end. All the men talking yada yada about doing favors to women only applies if you are real alpha male. For the rest of the bomkons, you a death sentence to a woman and would not condone half of what you dish out to be done to your daughters. Bloody hypocrits.

5 Likes

Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by DavidEsq(m): 6:46am On Aug 11, 2020
J111333:
Yea, your sister is doing the right thing. The man should at least kill his mum or chase her away before planning to get married so as not to discomfort his wife.

Biko advise your sister to keep waiting on the Lord for a good man.
Thank u for ur honesty. I'm currently doing a divorce case related to this issue. The marriage crashed as a result of the couple living with the man's (no boy's) mother and sisters.

3 Likes

Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by ibawon(m): 6:47am On Aug 11, 2020
Imagine if his mother becomes so old and she has to move in with them so as to take care of her.
Na the wife go kill him Mama
In Kiss Daniel's voice
If I love your family and you can't tolerate my own, my Sister PACK AND GO!!!

1 Like

Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Nobody: 6:49am On Aug 11, 2020
BilltheDON:
She's doing the right thing 100%
Even Bible said a man will LEAVE his mother and father and be with the wife.....


Yet Isaac brought his wife Rebecca to his father's house.
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by IamPlato(m): 6:49am On Aug 11, 2020
She Did The Right Thing. No Reasonable Man Will Marry A Wife And Take Her To live In His Parents home.
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by ojuu4u(m): 6:50am On Aug 11, 2020
placeofallure:


From your response, it means even if the man did build his own house, the mum would still have followed them there. Some men are like that, that's how he's wired and that's also his palaver. The problem here is your sister, is she just knowing that her man is still tied to his mum's apron string? Didn't they do some kind of dating? If she's the type that feels so strongly about this kinda arrangement, she's wrong to have waited till now before putting her feet down.

If you ask me, it's not a death sentence to live with one's mother-in-law. What if she's sick and my husband is the only child she has?

Tolerance is key here. I'm always proud of my mum, she raised me well. The day will never be, that I will raise my voice against my MIL or any of his relatives. My MIL is late though, but instead, I will just be civil with her, after the basics, I retire into my shell. Our paths will hardly cross to avoid or minimise any wahala. Ask your sister to reconsider. She shouldn't lose a good man just because.....


In life there are always boundaries ma, and there is and and limit that one patient can be tested in which emotions will not set in. Thank God for your late mother in law,

You talked about fiance that's good, a good man should be the person who at all time considers the well being and emotions of his wife and kids and not necessarily a rich man.

As wife need to be submissive and respectful, she shouldn't be subjected to slavery.

If the wife to be moves to his mother in law house! Do you consider her privacy? Thank God you are a woman! Nothing woman likes most than she and her husband have 100% chance to talk and do freely like husband and and wife without any 3rd party.

The mother has/had enjoyed her youthful age and marriage, she must give way for her son to enjoy his.

If the mother can still remarry, let her do that and if she can't, let her son gets house maid for her, since they will be leaving in same town, he would make it a duty to visit his mum regularly.

""A man that is not ready to leave his family and cleave to his wife, he is still not ready and mature for marriage and (a mother that cannot let go of her son to cleave to his wife, is a wicked mother ), in fact a witch)"

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Kondomatic(m): 6:57am On Aug 11, 2020
Roheemah04:
She's doing the right thing
Zzor:
your sister did the right thing

People sha give advice these days without asking questions. If my parent's house is a huge mansion and my mom is the only one living in it then why should I rent another house? To prove what?

1 Like

Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Iseoluwani: 7:01am On Aug 11, 2020
OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?


She did the right thing, however she should not be hasty in judging, as in cancelling instead of harting.

op, is your in law mother having health difficult? or old age, thats the only reason she can stay with them, not them staying with her.

Your in law sis and family already have a bad face for your sister, they might as well assume she hates their mum, and thats really bad for your sis, maybe she should jejely quit
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Coolgent(m): 7:05am On Aug 11, 2020
I must congratulate the Man!
My Wife advised me to convince my Mum so that she can leave with us, but your Sister just cancelled her wedding for a mere reason.

3 Likes

Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by kolade560: 7:13am On Aug 11, 2020
you are solely responsible for your decisions, that's y u are an adult, do what is right for you.
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by farem: 7:13am On Aug 11, 2020
OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

She's perfectly okay. On the other side, the-husband-to-be boy is still a child who needs some years to grow up. Assuming he has a convincing reason for that, the fact that he didn't seek and secure the lady's approval shows a crack.
Can he also accept to live in his parent in law house.
A beg make dem go find one room for Ijora Badia before dem finis dem house
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Nobody: 7:17am On Aug 11, 2020
AlwaysMotun:

No matter what, they will build on a weak foundation and that's when the marriage will go bad... It's even better she called off the wedding before it's too late... Talk g from experience here
Do U Know D Financial State Of D Man? Do U Think Getting Money Is Easy As U Think? She Should Bear With Him, Pending When Raise Up Money 4 Dia House. It's Becus Of Dis Many Men Had Decide 2 Av Baby Mamas Rada Dan Getting Married Cuz Of D Financial Stress Or Burden. If D Lady Wants It Dat Way Let Her Assist D Man Financially, Rada Dan Folding Her Alms & Expect Manna 2 Fall 4rm Heaven.
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by swankylay(m): 7:19am On Aug 11, 2020
Ur sister is � percent right.
She even said she doesn't mind if it's a room.

Why would he not rent a self con.
Living with mother in her house is a red flag
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Rushna27(f): 7:21am On Aug 11, 2020
It's a two way tin, since her hubby has a plan. if she sees the mother-in-law as accommodating she shud give it a try cos truth be told not all mother-in-law are devil and she shud know dat one day she's gonna be one too but if she thinks she can't live with her cos her state of mind and well-being is paramount too then she can stick to her decision. goodluck

1 Like

Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by polite2(m): 7:21am On Aug 11, 2020
Powerfly:
I dunno oo.
let's just wait for the Alpha~male elders to arrive.. I'm sure they will have what to say, and advice to give..
the only problem is.. They might call the guy wanting to marry your sister a simp!
bad you
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by kingPhidel(m): 7:25am On Aug 11, 2020
Powerfly:
I dunno oo.
let's just wait for the Alpha~male elders to arrive.. I'm sure they will have what to say, and advice to give..
the only problem is.. They might call the guy wanting to marry your sister a simp!
A SIMP! SMH
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Nobody: 7:27am On Aug 11, 2020
This your sis case Na upper hand, but to me she's right. Because she woñt be free in the house. And Nigerians mumcy wey sabi stalking grin
Some men can be funny, you want to marry but don't have a single room of your own. Literally it's mum that's goan feed them.

No marry person daughter come dey suffer her if you haven't elevates from your suffering. Sooner pikin go enter another suffering, if you ain't capable of taking care of a person I see no reason you should jump into marriage. This life no get Balance.

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by graciamore(f): 7:28am On Aug 11, 2020
OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?
yes she is doing the right thing, gone are the days when women take foolish decisions all for marriage and love and when troubles start in the family house that same man will never be seen supporting the wife...the Bible Say's "And the man shall leave his mother and father" she simple don't want to start what she can not finish..

1 Like

Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by maisauki: 7:31am On Aug 11, 2020
OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?
If she's below 25 years, she's doing the right thing buh if not, you go soon coman goan advertise she dey hustle for husby
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by jeph19(m): 7:32am On Aug 11, 2020
ndukwechinasa:
Too many factors should be put into consideration. My self i am staying with my mum and my wife. We are only two men and my elder bros is married and stays in his own apartment. I will not leave mum to just be alone cos i want to get married to someone who will possibly get another husband instanta eventually the odd happens.

tru sir.
i was thinking from perspective of "the trend of mums having great influences over their children's home"
especially overruling the children's decisions with the mindset of "he's still my son and as such must do my bidding"
thanks anyway 4ur insight
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by angelfallz(m): 7:34am On Aug 11, 2020
OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

Yes.

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