I understand u. But on the flip side if the man had said they should stay in his family house n build their own house so as to save on rent.... I for gree. But he wants to be attached to his mum...which is a no-no. Even If he builds the mum go still move in!

REDBUNNY:
But why on earth would a man get married and move his wife into his family house, his father's house.
Any man who does that is not ready to be married.
I can't even imagine living with my parents right now talk more of getting married and living in his own family house with his family.
No way.

Your sister is very right,, look at what the scripture says about it.... at least non be me talk am, nan waiting God talk be this...Matthew 19:5 and said, '
'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

Is it the mother that built the house? Before I would know what to say

Zzor:
your sister did the right thing

Nothing right in it and for someone like me,its a red flag,and I won't marry som1 like that.
The intended bride already has a mindset of trouble even when there's none.The living together is going to be for a while not forever.
People like you will display your worst bitchy behaviour if brother's wife displays similar rejection attitude to your mother.

For me o she is doing the right thing. Although we have different characters of women but I have seen husband's mum destroy a marriage out of unnecessary squabbles including that of my own sister.

.

dominique:
I love my mother in-law but would I want to live with her permanently? Heck no!
As much as I love my sons, would I want them to live with me when they're married? Heck no!

That she doesn't want to live with her fiance's mother does not mean she does not love or respect the mum. She just craves her space and privacy like every newlywed should. She should not be shamed or insulted for this. It's the man that's too attached to his mother's apron strings that needs a resounding knock on his head.

But it was clearly stated that d living together was going to be for a while and not forever.
If your prospective DIL rejects d idea of staying with you even for one day,hope you'll be ok with that and it will never change your perception of her.
And for the girl to wave the threat of canceling the wedding, she doesn't love that guy one bit.

ogbuefi677:

Nothing right in it and for someone like me,its a red flag,and I won't marry som1 like that.
The intended bride already has a mindset of trouble even when there's none.
People like you will display your worst bitchy behaviour if brother's wife displays similar rejection attitude to your mother.

This is not a case of rejection,this is how you men lay the foundation of troubles for your wives in marriage,a smart woman who wants to avoid any form of trouble in her marriage will definitely know she needs her space,let your mother stay in her husband's house with her children and she's very free to pay visits anytime she wants to but definitely not living together.When this trouble begins,this men begin to act as simp and not know what to do.If a man gives me that condition for marriage,i will reject his proposal with so much joy and never look back.

J111333:
Yea, your sister is doing the right thing. The man should at least kill his mum or chase her away before planning to get married so as not to discomfort his wife.

Biko advise your sister to keep waiting on the Lord for a good man.

very fo.lish write up. Did she say the man isnt a good man?

oshaosha2014:
But the Bible did not say that you’ll go to hell if you stay with your parents while married. The Bible is a guide not an enforcement.

E get why it is a "Guide".

Understanding is the key here. Both your sister and her husband to be should sit together if the love is there. Has she let the man understand her reasons in a well respectful manner, or did she just take the decision to cancel the wedding. There are many unalloyed question you ought to make known in your write up.

Zzor:
This is not a case of rejection,this is how you men lay the foundation of troubles for your wives in marriage,a smart woman who wants to avoid any form of trouble in her marriage will definitely know she needs her space,let your mother stay in her husband's house with her children and she's very free to pay visits anytime she wants to but definitely not living together.When this trouble begins,this men begin to act as simp and not know what to do.If a man gives me that condition for marriage,i will reject his proposal with so much joy and never look back.

There is no man,even boys that doesn't dream of having his own nice crib,modern,furnished to his taste etc.Men even abandone their older houses to build and move into newer ones.Its an ego thing for every man.
The girl has outrightly rejected to stay with her mother in law EVEN FOR ONE DAY,which is a no no for me.
I will never marry such a girl and if your prospective SIL displays such attitude to your mum,you will make d greatest noise.

don't Mind that idiot

OluwaLina1:

The issue is that the man don't want to leave his mum place

why are you insulting her? as if you have personal issue with her, stop acting like irresponsible adult.

Timbers:
Ogun kill you and Hmmmm there

ogbuefi677:

There is no man,even boys that doesn't dream of having his own nice crib,modern,furnished to his taste etc.Men even abandone their older houses to move into newer ones.
The girl has outrightly rejected to stay with her mother in law EVEN FOR ONE DAY,which is a no no for me.
I will never marry such a girl and if your prospective SIL displays such attitude to your mum,you will make d greatest noise.

my prospective SIL can't come and permanently live with my mom,dont she have husband?there are certain things you have to avoid by all means if you want a peaceful marriage,most men pay less attention to the problems wives face from their own family,this problems lingers for long,so it's better to avoid them from the onset.

E good as e get why e be guide. I am not disputing that fact. However, current circumstances that we all uniquely pass through in life, sometimes, we just have to be flexible.

Wigetsolar:


E get why it is a "Guide".

PapaNnamdi:
if I get the guy number,


I for tell am,

to stop calling that your sister or seeing her for 2months,

and see who looses,

marriage favours women only,




he will get an apartment now, and 6months later the woman floods the house with her own family members including OP,
all surviving on the man,


rubbish and hushpuppy

oil dey your head.

Laugh wan kill me for this thread...Even people wey don old & still dey live under their parents house go just dey type nonsense. Just pray to not be in such a situation but if you find yourself in one,try and reason with your partner to reach a logical decision.........All these comments go just dey stoke the fire more.....

Your sister decision is a perfect one, she should not be pressurize to go ahead with the wedding plan. What is the essence of a marriage whereby you won't have peace? A lady shared her her story her sometimes around last year, how she got married, and was taken to her mother in-law's house. Very pathetic story. To stay single is better than to be married and be sad in the marriage. If the guy is ready to marry, let him show he is responsible by getting his own apartment.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

Nairaland has proven the increase of Jezebel and witches in our society.

Hoes Will come from nowhere and start giving rules on how things are to be, when they never knew how that family started to survive from day1.

well, whether it's you or your sister, you guys should wait till eternity to get a right thinking man that will agree to ur useless interest..

Zzor:
my prospective SIL can't come and permanently live with my mom,dont she have husband?there are certain things you have to avoid by all means if you want a peaceful marriage,most men pay less attention to the problems wives face from their own family,this problems lingers for long,so it's better to avoid them from the onset.

All of you have been carefully avoiding the fact that d living together is going to be for a while not forever,it's clearly written there in the OP's post.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

I think your sister is very sensible. She is trying to avoid future problems. She might love her future mum-in-law doesn't mean she has got to live with her. The early stages of marriage is vey important, she needs her privacy and her future husband needs to cut the apron strings, it doesn't mean he is abandoning his mum. he needs his space to grow into a proper man and stop being a mummy's boy.

If he has a problem with this, then they are not meant for each other. Marriage is not a do or die affair.

ogbuefi677:

All of you have been carefully avoiding the fact that d living together is going to be for a while not forever,it's clearly written there in the OP's post.

if it's going to be for a while no problems,but the husband has to be in charge and look out for the women involved(both mom and wife) should the need arise.

OluwaLina1:

He said he don't want his mum to feel lonely and his mum won't be free if she comes to stay in his appartment

Wtf are still talking, this marriage was never made to stand.
quarrels from day1 already.

Abeg the man should dump ur sister immediately for peace to reign

ogbuefi677:

All of you have been carefully avoiding the fact that d living together is going to be for a while not forever,it's clearly written there in the OP's post.

Has he started building his house? Do you know how long it takes to build house in Nigeria on a salary? How do we know that its not an excuse and then it becomes forever, then she cant do anything about it.

MaziIgwe007:



Nairaland has proven the increase of Jezebel and witches in our society.

Hoes Will come from nowhere and start giving rules on how things are to be, when they never knew how that family started to survive from day1.

well, whether it's you or your sister, you guys should wait till eternity to get a right thinking man that will agree to ur useless interest..

The bitchy attitude of most nairaland females is scary.
That lady giving terms and conditions evidently only came to the relationship with her high mileage vagina and an untested womb and a huge entitlement mentality.
I expected the brother to also say his sister was offering to rent a comfortable apartment for them but of course,you will never hear such cos their own na just to siddon born,get fat.

PapaNnamdi:
if I get the guy number,


I for tell am,

to stop calling that your sister or seeing her for 2months,

and see who looses,

marriage favours women only,




he will get an apartment now, and 6months later the woman floods the house with her own family members including OP,
all surviving on the man,


rubbish and hushpuppy

OP will pretend a she didn't see this your comment. At least I'm sure she read it

oshaosha2014:
Any man getting married is actually doing the lady a favour. Because men don’t have to marry before they can get all the privileges of having a wife. A woman on the other hand is looked at in a bad light if she’s not married and hopping from man to man claiming sexual liberation up and down. Even western nations where their men have not been emasculated find such women as damaged goods and men should only use them to pass time and not commit, let alone marry.

As usual, a ton of bullsh.it

ogbuefi677:

The bitchy attitude of most nairaland females is scary.
That lady giving terms and conditions evidently only came to the relationship with her high mileage vagina and an untested womb and a huge entitlement mentality.
I expected the brother to also say his sister was offering to rent a comfortable apartment for them but of course,you will never hear such cos their own na just to siddon born,get fat.

And also give orders.
They don't joke with it.
They love giving orders.

They should be ready to give it not in the house I'm paying the rent for

Powerfly:
I dunno oo.
let's just wait for the Alpha~male elders to arrive.. I'm sure they will have what to say, and advice to give..
the only problem is.. They might call the guy wanting to marry your sister a simp!

chuckles of course he is a simp.

placeofallure:


From your response, it means even if the man did build his own house, the mum would still have followed them there. Some men are like that, that's how he's wired and that's also his palaver. The problem here is your sister, is she just knowing that her man is still tied to his mum's apron string? Didn't they do some kind of dating? If she's the type that feels so strongly about this kinda arrangement, she's wrong to have waited till now before putting her feet down.

If you ask me, it's not a death sentence to live with one's mother-in-law. What if she's sick and my husband is the only child she has?

Tolerance is key here. I'm always proud of my mum, she raised me well. The day will never be, that I will raise my voice against my MIL or any of his relatives. My MIL is late though, but instead, I will just be civil with her, after the basics, I retire into my shell. Our paths will hardly cross to avoid or minimise any wahala. Ask your sister to reconsider. She shouldn't lose a good man just because.....

On the flip side, what if the MIL is hard to please? The type that is very intrusive and sees nothing wrong with it? Don't use the experience you had with a good MIL as a single rule for others. Some MIL want to be in absolute control of their son's lives. And living under the same roof will not make it any better for the new wife.
First of all the mother of this man is the FIRST wife, and judging from his words, he certainly has no spine to counter whatever his mom says or do. Do you know who will suffer the most? The new wife.
Newly wedded couple need some time to themselves, to get used to each other, away from prying eyes. And I'm sure this lady knew what was coming and was wise to dodge it, although almost too late.

LadySarah:


Pls let him marry his mother.

let him marry his mum, the slowpoke is nt ready for marriage.