hosemujica:

She should try and convince him that nothing comes out of a married guy living in his mother's house with his wife, if the mother comes to visit him every once in a while that's manageable but outrightly sharing the same roof is a recipe for disaster.

Really! What kind of disaster if I may ask? Can you be specific?

ImaIma1:


Is it the woman that's supposed to pay her bride price? So that you will turn around and say she was desperate.

As I said, marriage is not for everyone. It's not by force. Anyone who doesn't understand it or see the value in it should not venture into it.

she wont pay bride price,she wont contribute money for rent,she wont pay for her hospital bills(during pregnancy),heck she wont even pay for her fake human her,what then exactly is her use?popping out babies?,you see why i think marrage does not favour men.

vickydevoka:

U are right though, buh u see in dis lyf u can have Everything de way u want it. If I were de lady n I really lyk de guy I will go in with him in his fathers house provided de gy has a good job

alright

emperorshaokahn:
she wont pay bride price,she wont contribute money for rent,she wont pay for her hospital bills(during pregnancy),heck she wont even pay for her fake human her,what then exactly is her use?popping out babies?,you see why i think marrage does not favour men.

Popping out babies? She slept with herself right?
Pay bride price? Did she ask herself to marry herself?
Fake human hair? Is it an essential item for survival or he has a gun to his neck to buy it?
Hospital bills? Even my husband and I use each other's HMO.

Couples figure things out and try to make life better for the other.

Look, when the time comes for you to get married, you will understand marriage and figure it out. But if that time never comes, that means you shouldn't bother getting married.

Awon “my mummy said” gang. If he cannot rent house, then he should not be married.

She should go on with the wedding, the guy is tempting him. She may be surprised that the guy have rented an apartment already. No man would ever want to marry without getting an appointment. Unless it is a family house where he has his section.

PapaNnamdi:


I don't have to prove a point,
just look around you

I did, at least in my area. That’s why I am bothering to reply you. Perhaps you’re not of the new age. People like you with your glorified sense of entitlement are just one lazy liability lol, a burden. Why do you think women be killing their husbands recently?
You should feel honored when a sister gives you 2 secs of her time

georgeiyke009:
Lol. Living with anybody single or married requires patience. A very big dose. Issue is that women run the home. If the man ran the home, there would be no issues. He can take in anybody and do somehow as he pleases. Living with people creates issues and most newly weds will not survive it depending how their lives are structured. If the lady is a working class lady, it means cooking during weekdays will neither be here not there. What will the mother do in that instance or would she be the cook? Does the mother have a maid or will the guy get one? Will they hire a cook? Or is the intention for the woman to run the house and be these things? Its the mothers house so she will have visitors, siblings, friends come over. She will likely be required to entertain even if she is not into it. And then clean up. So when she wants privacy to do stuffs or just be alone, not possible. We don't know how big the house is. We do not know how stressless or stressful the arrangement will be for her. The devil is in the details. If it is the former, she is right to cancel. Kolerwerk. She will run herself down , loose her job and become unattractive. Na the MIL go go find another woman for the son sef as this one done "wash". The only condition is if it is a very big house and winged in such a way that they have some privacy in their own wing and the mother inlaw is intentionally the respectful and non intrusive type who understands that her daughter inlaw has to enjoy her marriage. Never ever burden another man's daughter with your siblings or parents except you have made arrangements about running of the house generally and some semi privacy for both of you. But it is quite wrong to marry a new wife and have her start catering to a full house of grown ups without a maid or a cook and she is also working class. You the man must be smoking weed. Marriage is not an end. All the men talking yada yada about doing favors to women only applies if you are real alpha male. For the rest of the bomkons, you a death sentence to a woman and would not condone half of what you dish out to be done to your daughters. Bloody hypocrits.

Thanks for taking your time to write this. Precise and plain truths

emperorshaokahn:
lol,guy you day vex o,e bi like say them don do you strong thing?.na their entitlement mentality day vex me pass.

I've never dated a Nigerian girl and never will I do it .

They all look like bodybuilders with boobs and distorted ass

I just shake my head at some rather silly comments here condemning the lady in question. D'yer guys know the kinda exothermic reaction that can occur when a DIL shares same immediate vicinity with a MIL attached to an incurable Mummy's boy 24/7? Share same kitchen? As territorial as women can be? The first step to manhood is independent living. Even the Bible said it that a man would leave father and mother and be joined with the wife. @OP, ur sister is doing the right thing joor. I bet those cowards tongue-lashing her wouldn't let their sisters, nieces, daughters or any woman in their lives undergo such.

lightpurple:

I did, at least in my area. That’s why I am bothering to reply you. Perhaps you’re not of the new age. People like you with your glorified sense of entitlement are just one lazy liability lol, a burden. Why do you think women be killing their husbands recently?
You should feel honored when a sister gives you 2 secs of her time

I'll pass thank you

ogbuefi677:

The OP has never mentioned the ability of the sister to contribute financially or otherwise cos most females in Nigeria consider the female gender as a disability.Cos I'm sure if the sister had a job he would've been boasting of how the sister is willing to contribute to pay house rent or outrightly wanting to pay alone.
The apparently jobless girl is already giving terms and conditions and is already sure she will quarrel with her mother in law.
Good thing most Nigerian men have woken up from female manipulations.

If the man can't afford to pay rent of ordinary self contain apartment to the point that he has to stay with his mum with his wife, then he has no business marrying. You people are quick to insult a woman that can't cook or clean but see nothing wrong with a man that can afford a small roof over his head. So because the wife doesn't want to stay with in-laws, she should be the one to pay rent alongside cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and taking care of the kids? You men and double standards are inseparable

ImaIma1:


Popping out babies? She slept with herself right?
Pay bride price? Did she ask herself to marry herself?
Fake human hair? Is it an essential item for survival or he has a gun to his neck to buy it?
Hospital bills? Even my husband and I use each other's HMO.

Couples figure things out and try to make life better for the other.

Look, when the time comes for you to get married, you will understand marriage and figure it out. But if that time never comes, that means you shouldn't bother getting married.

Lol. Like the pressure on you ladies to get married doesn't surpass the ones on men

the guy is mad.
absolutely no self respect

the guy is mad.
absolutely no self respect

Joshmanuel10:
This is very simple
If he plans on building a house they can get married after he has completed the house
Since they love each other they can both come to a simple understanding
If she wants to live with him in face me I kill u its a good decision
But marriage ain't man mom and wife
This isn't india

Can't we copy good things like we copied bad things?

Chii59:

Privacy. Women love privacy.
The last thing I want is for my MIL to be entering my house at odd hours, even when I'm making love to my husband. Or going to my kitchen to open my pots or complaining about the taste of my food. Some of these old women can be funny.
Get a house not too far from your parents but not the same compound.

My parents do not even come close to my flat. they stay upstairs while I stay in one of the two bedroom at the ground floor. They respect my privacy just like I respect theirs. I only go upstairs to see them when it is compellingly necessary. I can't move out cos in my area the said flat I stay in is close to 500k. If she doesn't want to stay she should bring money let's rent alternative apartment. My dad has an aversion for tenant in his compound else would have rented the flat and use the proceed to secure alternative apartment.

ImaIma1:


Popping out babies? She slept with herself right?
Pay bride price? Did she ask herself to marry herself?
Fake human hair? Is it an essential item for survival or he has a gun to his neck to buy it?
Hospital bills? Even my husband and I use each other's HMO.

Couples figure things out and try to make life better for the other.

Look, when the time comes for you to get married, you will understand marriage and figure it out. But if that time never comes, that means you shouldn't bother getting married.

Nne you get time. Most of them are young school leavers and jambitez.

authority2006:


Lol. Like the pressure on you ladies to get married doesn't surpass the ones on men

The pressure doesn't make marriage marriage more important to the woman.

In all of this plenty talk, guess who goes to ask for the hand in marriage, who performs all the traditional rites, etc? The man!

Did he have a gun to his head? Or is he a(let me borrow the Nairaland grammar) simp?

Marriage is more beneficial to men blah blah but the man comes to marry. Was he under duress?

Please let's drop this matter. God created marriage and he knows what He was doing. If you don't understand it from his perspective, drop it.

ImaIma1:


The pressure doesn't make marriage marriage more important to the woman.

In all of this plenty talk, guess who goes to ask for the hand in marriage, who performs all the traditional rites, etc? The man!

Did he have a gun to his head? Or is he a(let me borrow the Nairaland grammar) simp?

Marriage is more beneficial to men blah blah but the man comes to marry. Was he under duress?

Please let's drop this matter. God created marriage and he knows what He was doing. If you don't understand it from his perspective, drop it.

And my point is that for the fact that men come to women for marriage doesn't mean that the marriage is more beneficial to men. Our culture demands that men come to women. Our women, even if they're dying in silence, will never ask for men's hands in marriage

authority2006:


And my point is that for the fact that men come to women for marriage doesn't mean that the marriage is more beneficial to men. Our culture demands that men come to women. Our women, even if they're dying in silence, will never ask for men's hands in marriage

Does he have to go according to culture? Why doesn't he just do without getting married? Will he die if he doesn't get married?

Since it doesn't favour him to get married, why doesn't he wait for a woman who is begging to be married to, come propose to him? Or he can remain single and have a baby mama and a maid instead.

LadySarah:


Nne you get time. Most of them are young school leavers and jambitez.

I am off work today and bored jare.

When they grow up, they will get it.

I am equally facing the same problem with my partner. Though the marriage plans is still on.
In my own case, my building is still at the foundation level. My father has a 3 bedroom flat not occupied since renovation. To get a satisfactory apartment at least you must have #350k I told my partner that if we spend this money on our building for two years, we will see an appreciable level... We are still on it. No compromise yet but suspending the wedding arrangement is not an option. I think with communication they will Better resolve it not calling off the wedding. Pls advise your sister o. She shouldn't lose a good man on that basis o. Sincerely no point getting married and spending 10 years in a rented appartment. Couples should plan their lives going into marriage. When they have agreement on this, they will achieve greater things together.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

she is correct ..that guy is a baby nigga but she should try other means too to convinced him

OluwaLina1:

yeap

How big is the house?
Do any other of the guy's siblings live full time in the house?

Powerfly:
I dunno oo.
let's just wait for the Alpha~male elders to arrive.. I'm sure they will have what to say, and advice to give..
the only problem is.. They might call the guy wanting to marry your sister a simp!

Lol, I love how you capture reply, an innuendo if I'm right...

Jesse25:

she is correct ..that guy is a baby nigga but she should try other means too to convinced him

so says the negro who was looking for IT placement just last year.
You've apparently never paid bills from your sweat in your whole life so I won't blame you.

mrksquare:



My parents do not even come close to my flat. they stay upstairs while I stay in one of the two bedroom at the ground floor. They respect my privacy just like I respect theirs. I only go upstairs to see them when it is compellingly necessary. I can't move out cos in my area the said flat I stay in is close to 500k. If she doesn't want to stay she should bring money let's rent alternative apartment. My dad has an aversion for tenant in his compound else would have rented the flat and use the proceed to secure alternative apartment.

Which parent ever invades the privacy of their married children except they're living in a 1 room and parlor apartment?My dad will rather call you on d phone to come upstairs than knock on your door.Mum rarely comes towards my apartment.
OP mentioned the guy is financially ok,so apparently, we're dealing with either an only child or probably all other of his siblings are living far away and he's the only close to the mum.
He even mentioned the guy is building his own house,yet d wizard of a girl is so sure she is going to be having problems with the MIL.
I just pity the guy that marries this type of girl.