ireneidiva:

Learn to correct with love. Stop shouting. You also need to be more tolerant and patient. Don't turn into a nag. This is also why people are advised to marry their best friend. Your best friend will listen when you complain. I wish you good luck.

buikem2:

Your brain needs to be divorced from your body. They aren't compatible.

Just come online and be shouting divorce on another person's marriage

Juliusmomoh:
Divorce her.. Marriage no be by force.. But some simp will not understand..

FashionCookie:
Some Nairaland men or should I call them boys and unecessary bragging. Any small thing Simp...alpha male...yen yen yen. Maybe they're just hearing those words for the first time and they want people to think they're woke. Them poor and lazy pass anything...some will be coming here to flex muscle meanwhile, their job is to wash pant at home. Woman wrapper everywhere...
But to the responsible ones, God go bless una. Pikin wey grow up for better house no dey hard to know.
@ OP...take am easy o. Marriage pass the way you dey see am so. Na suru...

innobarca:
Will be worse when you people start having kids

obinna58:

First, don't be angry at your woman. Hide it by all means.
Second, worship her and treat her like a queen
Third, explain things clearly to her

When she sees your working hard to make her happy, she'll improve. We men are losers when a woman is involved.

Amanee:
Sometimes living together before marriage saves you a lot of stress in marriage

apollo13:
I'll advice you call her mother or any relative closer to her to report her, the truth is, if you don't correct her while the marriage is still very fresh my brother I guess you will have to live with such unhygienic attitude for the rest of your life.but it takes patience and understanding, maybe I'll suggest you sit her down and talk to her calmly.

sodiqapril:
Didn't you guys date or try living together before you married..I feel your pain, I might not be handsome or rich but you can never call me dirty or anything related to it and once I sense dirtiness in a woman. I flee..I'm not advising you to flee ooo. Lol..just finished reading, you guys don't have children yet, take a break from the house, if she's definitely in her mind she'll ask what she has done or report to someone and if she doesn't change.. marriage no b do or die affair....m judging from your words if I hear hers too .I might have to change my judgement

manunitedbabes:
Wow thats a very bad one. but before all these things dont you both handout together ? was there no visitation during courtship? you supposed to no when a woman is hygiene or not. but in all, you need to plsss talk to her or through a closed friend of hers whom she listened to, i believe that may help

manos:
Note: it's a bit long... I could have summarized but I want those contributing to get a crystal clear picture of the situation, so that they can give better and specific advice.

The major problem here is that she mixes up things to be done in the kitchen with things done only in the toilet.

I have been married to my wife for over a year now (no kids yet) and there are certain unhygienic habits she has been displaying, since we started living together. I have been seeking ways to help her improve on it, but a calm correction from me always leads to a bitter argument between us. (She claims I complain too much whenever I point it out)

For example, she always clears her throat early in the morning and spits in the kitchen sink. (despite the fact that we have 2 toilets with wash hand basins; one in the room and also a guest toilet, with a wash-hand basin which is basically 3 steps from the kitchen). Then she goes to the bathroom, gets her toothbrush and comes back to the kitchen to brush her teeth, while doing several things with toothpaste and saliva drooling from her mouth all through.

The other day, she prepared breakfast (spaghetti) for both of us with the drooling toothpaste mouth and i refused to eat from it. I didn't complain to her either, until she asked why I didn't take my portion of the spaghetti from the pot, later that evening. I mentioned to her that, as always I find it disgusting to eat spaghetti, seasoned with toothpaste drool and saliva. The response I got from her was a hiss and then she said that, next time I should inform her if I am not going to eat the food she cooked so that she would not cook for me."

I let that slide but I felt she missed the point. The next day was her birthday and I decided to prepare breakfast for her.
While I was in the kitchen cooking, she came in with the same drooling toothpaste mouth to take a kitchen Scissors in order to cut something on her pants, even though we have another scissors in the room for such purposes. In the process of trying to pick the scissors, her hands which were covered with toothpaste drool had to cross the pot which I was cooking with. I mentioned to her that I was not comfortable with that and she just hissed as usual, still picked the Scissors and left the kitchen while angrily saying that I am just a complainer. I lost it at this point and proceeded to give her a lecture in anger about basic hygiene and why I can not keep quiet over these things because we live in a shared space and how her actions have a direct effect on me. It ended in a shouting match till she kept quiet, without accepting she was wrong.

This is the pattern almost everything takes when I try to correct her. The worst part is that I would still have to be the one to apologize for shouting at her because if I don't, I might be subjected to a week long silent treatment which I dread.

There are other more unhygienic things that are done by her, which I might not be able to post here due to the fact that I am not completely anonymous and she is still my wife but I hope this information is enough for someone to understand my frustration and profer a solution.

xtratagem:
Nairalanders and Simp! simp! simp! simp! The word "simp" no dey taya you?

Emescot:
What exactly is the issue with all this people shouting simp up and down.

WhisperedNoise:
Many, most of the people shouting simp are NOT married.
This I know.

This is a case for the elders.

Kriss216:



Being a Simp and getting married to a Nigerian girl is deadlier than cancer.

ImaIma1:


Please stop this "simp" thing and make more intelligent contributions.

Some of you don't know anything more than "simp"

infogenerator:
I'm sorry about what you have to endure. You've a serious trouble in your hand bro, a woman who doesn't seem to see anything wrong in her error, doesn't take corrections, and hisses at her man every opportunity she gets, will most definitely fustrated you out of marriage.

To be honest, the least of your problem is her dirtiness. Luckily for you, neatness is something that can be learnt, so with the right attitude and mindset she can even become neater than you.

Your real problem is her attitude. I'm glad you've never gotten physical with her, please do well to maintain that, irrespective of what others might tell you .

Following your narrative, I'm assuming you've tried to talk her out of this disrectful attitudes, still it persists. You need to talk to someone she respects and listens to. Does she have parents, siblings or relations make that person your ally. I'm sure she will rethink things.

If after the efforts nothing changes or she gets even worse, please consider the fact that you might be in a wrong marriage.

WandaMaximoff:
See ehn, if you want that marriage to see the light of day, don't bring your marital issues to Nairaland. Your marriage will be over before your thread gets to page 2.

You are living with a full grown adult for the first time, you both have weird habits that will irritate each other. Trust me, I'm sure there are habits she is also tolerating from you.

Marriage is give and take. I'd suggest you talk to her when the mood is lighter, pillow talk in the bedroom is a perfect time. Tell her how her hygiene makes you feel and tell her it would make you really happy if she changes.

Speaking up just at the time you noticed another of the unhygienic habit won't help you as you will be addressing it with anger.

If you can't settle a mat

ireneidiva:

Is it normal to 'try' living together before marriage?

heendrix:


Exactly infact I wonder how some men are created. anyways ion know what I'll do sha cause I can't imagine the person I'm taking care of her responsibility hissing at me

xtratagem:
Nairalanders and Simp! simp! simp! simp! The word "simp" no dey taya you?

WandaMaximoff:
See ehn, if you want that marriage to see the light of day, don't bring your marital issues to Nairaland. Your marriage will be over before your thread gets to page 2.

You are living with a full grown adult for the first time, you both have weird habits that will irritate each other. Trust me, I'm sure there are habits she is also tolerating from you.

Marriage is give and take. I'd suggest you talk to her when the mood is lighter, pillow talk in the bedroom is a perfect time. Tell her how her hygiene makes you feel and tell her it would make you really happy if she changes.

Speaking up just at the time you noticed another of the unhygienic habit won't help you as you will be addressing it with anger.

If you can't settle a small matter like this amongst yourselves, there are worse storms in marriage o.

Shed2013:
I understand exactly what you're saying here because I'm in the same situation but I tell you the truth I bear it without sharing the stories with third party because of the vow I do . calm down oh , love cover all this for me I bear all , exactly what you write here I'm passing through for to past 4 years in marriage, I bath our daughter of 4 years do domestic works I don't even mind the so called wife , wife don't even appreciated it not all