Kriss216:



Being a Simp and getting married to a Nigerian girl is deadlier than cancer.

ever since the will Smith Saga, you guys don't waste time in calling men who tend to be level headed and rational- simps. the op story does not warrant anybody calling him a simp. did it occur to you that this lady in question may have pretended before marriage? I can see the man is mannered enough to talk to her, she doesn't just listen! - as all ladies who are quick to anger. and u said marrying a Nigerian is deadly?,who do you this thing? no be every Nigerian woman deadly, abi ur sis deadly?calm down bros haba
To you Mr. op, have you tried sitting her down on a good day and telling her the koko about this hygiene stuff? if you have, u don't need to apologise next time she hisses and zooms of, cus she will know that you'd come back to apologise and she won't feel her wrongs

but it's gonna be hard though, it seems it has been going on for a long time
and nothings harder than stopping a habit u didn't stop when u first noticed it! try!

ImaIma1:


It's becoming a cliché. It has taken over from "cretin". Meanwhile those always shouting "simp" are not different from the people they call simp in real life. It is just to come to Nairaland and be shouting "simp" with nothing sensible to contribute.

It's really annoying I swear

decatalyst:
I hate to hear the statement "I am still the one to apologize" It sucks to hear this!


You make it seem like you are a simp! You are supposed to offer direction in your home. Tell her what she needs to hear to get the desired result. You don't have to shout on the woman please.

I am a very calm person actually, shouting comes from frustration because the moment i try to correct her she gets angry and lashes back immediately raising her voice. So naturally i raise my voice to match her tone so that she hears me and so that i can make my point.

On the other hand, i apologize because, sometimes when i wait for the apology for too long and it is not coming, i decide that i cant continue living like that and look beyond my intention to correct so that we can have some peace and move forward, probably push give her more time to evaluate her actions, while we continue living in peace. I cant imagine living with anyone for a week in the same house and not be able to communicate with the person. I dont know how other people do that. I personally try to resolve issues quickly.

WandaMaximoff:
See ehn, if you want that marriage to see the light of day, don't bring your marital issues to Nairaland. Your marriage will be over before your thread gets to page 2.

You are living with a full grown adult for the first time, you both have weird habits that will irritate each other. Trust me, I'm sure there are habits she is also tolerating from you.

Marriage is give and take. I'd suggest you talk to her when the mood is lighter, pillow talk in the bedroom is a perfect time. Tell her how her hygiene makes you feel and tell her it would make you really happy if she changes.

Speaking up just at the time you noticed another of the unhygienic habit won't help you as you will be addressing it with anger.

If you can't settle a small matter like this amongst yourselves, there are worse storms in marriage o.

We have talked about it quietly on several occasions before (the reason why i am now labelled a complainer about insignificant things: she has called me petty on several occasions for complaining about things like this) and she basically sees nothing wrong with what she does. I plan to show her this thread, so that she can see at least that not even a single person that commented so far approves her weird toilet habits.

Calling an adult a simp is just disrespectful and shows how uncultured a lot of this nairaland small small rats were raised.

small redpill wey una swallow, wey hang una for throat, wey go choke una die, we no go hear word again..
With zero kobo for pocket.... mtcheww.. awon omo pau bi ibon!

Mr Op. your wife is unhygienic and you may have to spell it out to her. Reading it sef I wan vomit!

heendrix:


Exactly infact I wonder how some men are created. anyways ion know what I'll do sha cause I can't imagine the person I'm taking care of her responsibility hissing at me

Actually i dont take care of her responsibility, we share responsibilities financially and otherwise. but the problem does not come from who takes responsibility over what, the problem is all about willingness to change ingrained habits.

manos:


We have talked about it quietly on several occasions before (the reason why i am now labelled a complainer about insignificant things: she has called me petty on several occasions for complaining about things like this) and she basically sees nothing wrong with what she does. I plan to show her this thread, so that she can see at least that not even a single person that commented so far approves her weird toilet habits.

Don't do that. The court of social media will murder your marriage. Let's say she's wrong, do you think showing her this post will make her change?

If you've tried all avenues to get her to change and she has refused to, there has to be an elderly person she respects that you can talk to about your situation. That beats tabling your marital issues to small children whose only contributions will be "you're a simp", many of whom are either not married or broken from the hurts of vile women or trauma from hateful upbringing.

Talk to someone she respects.

Did you guys skip the marriage couselling and mentorship before approaching the alter?

Based on your information, the marriage started with immature courtship. And immature courtship may be a result of absence of wide experience, counselling, guidance, and mentorship, no matter the upbringing.

Your wife's character trait is a comfortable and brattish brush up with no expectation of the future marital storms which constantly feeds her with Ego, anger, unsubmissiveness, and disordered personality as a sociopath. Only perilous challenges can uproot and naked such type from a childish backbone (extreme comfort/relaxation and brat traits), then the wide experience and discipline she suppose to acquire before marriage will teach her lesson for upright standing. The risk is that your marriage may not stand the heat.

As a head, your family leadership is laced with lack of mind control, extreme gentleness and false endurance.

-The simple solution is go to church regularly for marriage counselling. Thank God later.

WandaMaximoff:


Don't do that. The court of social media will murder your marriage. Let's say she's wrong, do you think showing her this post will make her change?

If you've tried all avenues to get her to change and she has refused to, there has to be an elderly person she respects that you can talk to about your situation. That beats tabling your marital issues to small children whose only contributions will be "you're a simp", many of whom are either not married or broken from the hurts of vile women or trauma from hateful upbringing.

Talk to someone she respects.

Thanks a lot, i would do so.
I initially didn't want to do so because i didn't want to start bringing third parties into the relationship, but i feel its better of to do so now before they bring themselves in by force when relationship is damaged beyond repair.

op, if it is begging that will make your wife do what you want her to do, please beg her. don't mind these people shouting simp up and down. some of them are not married and some of them that are married kneel down to beg their wives. even kings beg their wives privately when they are in the bedroom

dont mind those small boys

xtratagem:
Nairalanders and Simp! simp! simp! simp! The word "simp" no dey taya you?

heendrix:


A certified simp spotted.....You seem to want to correct someone and after that still go and apologize after scolding her and you think she'll listen to you No man she'll disrespect you even more with the mind "He'll come back to Apologize"

and besides for ur wife to hiss at you in any slight provocation tells how weak you are. people would come ranting you want peace in ur home bla bla but Know something for life when ur Dealing with a Nigerian woman take it like ur dealing with a wild animal taking no nonsense

I can't even imagine my girlfriend hissing at me let alone my wife

Op my advice for u is to be a man. you've been a simp for way too long

and when she does what happens ? Please advice

yettymuse:
Calling an adult a simp is just disrespectful and shows how uncultured a lot of this nairaland small small rats were raised.

small redpill wey una swallow, wey hang una for throat, wey go choke una die, we no go hear word again..
With zero kobo for pocket.... mtcheww.. awon omo pau bi ibon!

Mr Op. your wife is unhygienic and you may have to spell it out to her. Reading it sef I wan vomit!

manos:


Thanks a lot, i would do so.
I initially didn't want to do so because i didn't want to start bringing third parties into the relationship, but i feel its better of to do so now before they bring themselves in by force when relationship is damaged beyond repair.

Third party that is an elderly person she respects is a million times better than the number of views on this post plus the "Simpians".

Emescot:
What exactly is the issue with all this people shouting simp up and down .

I can't just understand the way these romance section boys shout simp up and down, its irritating.

Someone is posting an issue that is bothering him and some are shouting simp simp simp.

WhisperedNoise:
Many, most of the people shouting simp are NOT married.
This I know.

This is a case for the elders.

Sorry OP you have to keep talking to her, things like this can be very annoying and painful. Its an habit.

If talking doesn't work at all, you might have to talk to her mum or something someone she listens to.

This habit is not good ooo

Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

You should have seen this red flag when you were courting her?

thesicilian:

I can bet my next 6 months salary that you're not married.

He is most certainly not married!!!... They always think it's as simple as that!

Bros, na YOU get the problem, be more tolerant. It's not that serious.

How come you didn't see all these while you guys were courting?

Meanwhile, Watch touching story of Bbnaija Housemate Who is an orphan, was a school drop out and a plantain seller.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_i-jGBPrdzg

Sisijetue:
And when you see them outside...

You would think they are living "Happily ever after"!!!

Guess she never visited while you were dating

@manos
Apologizing doesn't mean you're weak. It's simply shows you're strong enough to let go of your pride and admit you're wrong. I wish I had that.

Also, I would advise op to calmly and in a very serious setting talk to her. Pour your heart out to tell her how her lack of hygienic habits is affecting. Tell her how you feel better mature and sincere.
The reason she is stubborn is probably because you're correcting her the wrong way. We humans have elements of pride in us that make us throw away any given correction and focus on the way the correction was given. She's an adult. Talk like one, and talk to her like she's one.
You could start with an indirect story that would put her in your shoes. Help her see how it feels if she's is a victim of unhygienic displays or habits(i.e on the receiving end) .

Tell her you'll always love no matter what and will support her if she chooses to change.
She might not change immediately. But, correct her playfully(when she subconsciously repeats it).

Lastly, Never heed those who call you simp or advising you to be harsh. Most are just young, inexperienced, still-living-with-parent jokers who have no iota of what being in marriage seems like.

Enjoy a happy marriage

I THINK SHE IS A YORUBA WOMAN

manos:
Note: it's a bit long... I could have summarized but I want those contributing to get a crystal clear picture of the situation, so that they can give better and specific advice.

The major problem here is that she mixes up things to be done in the kitchen with things done only in the toilet.

I have been married to my wife for over a year now (no kids yet) and there are certain unhygienic habits she has been displaying, since we started living together. I have been seeking ways to help her improve on it, but a calm correction from me always leads to a bitter argument between us. (She claims I complain too much whenever I point it out)

For example, she always clears her throat early in the morning and spits in the kitchen sink. (despite the fact that we have 2 toilets with wash hand basins; one in the room and also a guest toilet, with a wash-hand basin which is basically 3 steps from the kitchen). Then she goes to the bathroom, gets her toothbrush and comes back to the kitchen to brush her teeth, while doing several things with toothpaste and saliva drooling from her mouth all through.

The other day, she prepared breakfast (spaghetti) for both of us with the drooling toothpaste mouth and i refused to eat from it. I didn't complain to her either, until she asked why I didn't take my portion of the spaghetti from the pot, later that evening. I mentioned to her that, as always I find it disgusting to eat spaghetti, seasoned with toothpaste drool and saliva. The response I got from her was a hiss and then she said that, next time I should inform her if I am not going to eat the food she cooked so that she would not cook for me."

I let that slide but I felt she missed the point. The next day was her birthday and I decided to prepare breakfast for her.
While I was in the kitchen cooking, she came in with the same drooling toothpaste mouth to take a kitchen Scissors in order to cut something on her pants, even though we have another scissors in the room for such purposes. In the process of trying to pick the scissors, her hands which were covered with toothpaste drool had to cross the pot which I was cooking with. I mentioned to her that I was not comfortable with that and she just hissed as usual, still picked the Scissors and left the kitchen while angrily saying that I am just a complainer. I lost it at this point and proceeded to give her a lecture in anger about basic hygiene and why I can not keep quiet over these things because we live in a shared space and how her actions have a direct effect on me. It ended in a shouting match till she kept quiet, without accepting she was wrong.

This is the pattern almost everything takes when I try to correct her. The worst part is that I would still have to be the one to apologize for shouting at her because if I don't, I might be subjected to a week long silent treatment which I dread.

There are other more unhygienic things that are done by her, which I might not be able to post here due to the fact that I am not completely anonymous and she is still my wife but I hope this information is enough for someone to understand my frustration and profer a solution.

Eww

Your wife as successfully colonise you in your own bunk... Act fast before it becomes late