₦airaland Forum

My advice for Op, take ur time to investigate that family you want to give custody of your daughter, if possible find a lawyer here on nairaland to help you with the adoption processes to be sure it's done correctly.

No god anywhere is coming to save you. Take this matter seriously so you don't enslave or sell tour child.

Ignore the God factor posts up there, those people are more confused than you are...

unclemaths:
You are an embittered soul in serious need of help.

Whao, you needed help and you actually said the quoted?!

Maybe all those talks about you were true by the way.

Haven't you read about Biblical Job? Joseph? Hanna? Sarah?

Please, don't add blasphemy to your issues.

Nothing do your daughter..
You are the one in serious need of help.

Leave the poor girl alone,if you cant help her out of her predicament.You should understand she is depressed and desperate.All she needs is succour not condemnation.

Mizflo:
Thanks for the advice. I have lost faith in Jesus because if he was there I wouldn’t have been suffering like this . I don’t want to look for him because he has never care about me and I don’t want to know him

do not say that,for the Jesus i know has never and would never forsake any one.for the fact that things are not working well for u does not make him a wicked God.He actually knows that u are passing through difficulties but have u knelt down to pray?have you asked him to forgive the sins of ur parents so that those shackles of marriage out of wedlock will stop?are u really in good terms with God?MY ADVICE:what you are passing through is beyond the physical go into prayers get angry in the spirit and pray until something happens ,if not ur daughter is likely to fall under a similar event or effect.may God see u through in Jesus name Amen

UnclePrincipal:
Guy you're really mentally sick. You better check yourself in. This is not ordinary again.

As in very big mumu

This is more like a generational issue and there may be more to it than meets the eye.

abbey621:
Fake story....Nothing more nothing less.....Let's do some simple analysis and bust another storyteller:

1. She's 21 years but acts as if she dropped out of nowhere? Where's your mama's family?
2. Daughter is about 5 years so that would mean she gave birth at 16
3. How many 13, 14, 15,16 year olds are dating married men?
4. She dropped out at Jss2 but can clearly compose several paragraphs with approporiate flow.
5. Use of fake account! Your story is serious enough, what are you trying to cover up? Whom of all people should use real information? What's the basis for your write-up? Was it for people to tell you to/not to adopt or was it to find people to help you?

Story burster, go back and read again! And start from correcting your number 4

Mizflo:
Thanks for the advice. I have lost faith in Jesus because if he was there I wouldn’t have been suffering like this . I don’t want to look for him because he has never care about me and I don’t want to know him

If you are not trolling and actually telling the truth, it will do you well to contact the 2 nairalanders below. One is ready to act as a counsel and provide guidance for your adoption process and the other actually wants to adopt your child.

I really hope you are not wasting our time here. A lot of us are very busy people. Please see the attached image below

Mizflo:
Thanks for the advice. I have lost faith in Jesus because if he was there I wouldn’t have been suffering like this . I don’t want to look for him because he has never care about me and I don’t want to know him

This is the website of Lagos state welfare:

https://www.mysd.lg.gov.ng/index.php/home-page/about-mysd/mysd-objectives/family-social-services

You can report the man who impregnated you and they will make him pay for the child's upkeep.

I'm touch by the story of this lady. First and foremost, I want to know the town you currently live
Second, how many people here can support lets contribute money for this lady to get an apartment and start a little business? Anything as low as 2k from 40 people here will go a long way

Legacyy:
do not say that,for the Jesus i know has never and would never forsake any one.for the fact that things are not working well for u does not make him a wicked God.He actually knows that u are passing through difficulties but have u knelt down to pray?have you asked him to forgive the sins of ur parents so that those shackles of marriage out of wedlock will stop?are u really in good terms with God?MY ADVICE:what you are passing through is beyond the physical go into prayers get angry in the spirit and pray until something happens ,if not ur daughter is likely to fall under a similar event or effect.may God see u through in Jesus name Amen

Which jesus? The one that couldn't save himself?

fattprince:
So nobody saw the fact that the baby daddy took advantage of Op. Shouldn't he be reported to a police station. He raped Op till he impregnated her. Op was just 16

Who told you she was raped? Pls read again what the lady said about the man...she was enjoying sex with him untill pregnancy shows ..,..but let me ask simple question ..,if every nairalander with a kind heart contributes 1000naira each which must be sent through seun, this lady will be able to rent a decent house and start up some business with her life ...while pursuing the spiritual aspect ...I wish I can help her with everything ...

meetme01:
I know you're going through alot and your head is damn full of the way forward. Ma'am, take a breath thrice after thinking to calm your nerves and mind down. You need to calm down.

See, it's a stage, you will overcome if only you take the right step and believe everything will work fine. What is the right step you ask

Good. You don't know your babby daddy's whereabout but you know someone that knows someone that knows him. I believe you should.

The background is faulty and going back to your family may worsen the case because that's where the problem lies. Seems you inherit a family that is peculiar with this same problem.

Therefore, as someone pointed, if you stay in Lagos, Oyo or Ogun, I am ready to assist with competent social workers who would take the issue up. Locate the man and give him options, he rather accept the child and provide all needs or reject and face the wrath of the law where he would be subjected to undergo DNA and if confirmed to be 99% related, he would pay heavily and take responsibility of you and your baby. That's the first step.

You have thought deeply and those around are comforting you with adoption. In as much as its a good idea, the flaws in it I won't expose due to SW principles. If you go by the way of adoption, you might) regret later in future you took that step. I know it's really hard and there must be a way forward. Anxiety would not solve the problem, rather patience and consistent hope.

It is face in life which you must confront with lots of prayers, hope and patience. It wil definitely going to be fine if only you calm down and open up to a competent social worker around you.

If you don't reside around the axis mentioned, avail me your State and if possible, I would link you up with one.

I would rather advice you locate the man's family by all means. That's the way forward. Let people (family, friends, relatives, concubines etc) around him know about the situation. They will locate him for you. Use all social media handles, all means to get his contact.

The last resort would be adoption after all means to locate him has been exhausted. Let adoption be out for now,please.

Mizflo hook up with this moniker ASAP cos this is one of the best comments here so far!!!! Meetme01 God go bless you abeg!!!! You too much

Mizflo:
Thanks for the advice. I have lost faith in Jesus because if he was there I wouldn’t have been suffering like this . I don’t want to look for him because he has never care about me and I don’t want to know him

I have nothing to give you now but what I have, I Will give, pls read Ezekiel 8 vs 1 to 18 and Lamentation 3 vs 25 to 36

loneprof:
I apologize! I thought you were asking just to contest the facts.Well I reside in Lagos state and I know Lagos state sure does have it. I believe every other state too, under certain ministries and also the court as the custodian...

These things are usually in Lagos state.

They have the most advanced laws in the country, and their implementation level is incredibly high. That's why I wanted to know the exact state.

If you venture to other states in Nigeria, you will be surprised to find that the laws are not quite as advanced and implementation is even worse.

As soon as you mentioned the welfare Law, I figured it can only be in Lagos. Even Abuja sef, e no sure me say that law dey here.

Thank you for the enlightenment

ThuGnificenX:
Story burster, go back and read again! And start from correcting your number 4

There's nothing wrong with number 4, perhaps you have a problem with comprehension?

greggng:
Who told you she was raped? Pls read again what the lady said about the man...she was enjoying sex with him untill pregnancy shows ..,..but let me ask simple question ..,if every nairalander with a kind heart contributes 1000naira each which must be sent through seun, this lady will be able to rent a decent house and start up some business with her life ...while pursuing the spiritual aspect ...I wish I can help her with everything ...

Supported! This is the solution we should be suggesting

Nuttella:
Hey, dont say that, everything happens for a reason, dont blame Jesus, you are the one that opened your small legs for your baby daddy, Jesus didnt tell you to.

well said...

greggng:
Who told you she was raped? Pls read again what the lady said about the man...she was enjoying sex with him untill pregnancy shows ..,..but let me ask simple question ..,if every nairalander with a kind heart contributes 1000naira each which must be sent through seun, this lady will be able to rent a decent house and start up some business with her life ...while pursuing the spiritual aspect ...I wish I can help her with everything ...

I don't think she really needs our financial help because she would have said so. That notwithstanding if I can get actual proof that her condition is real and not a scam ( too many scams on this forum these days) I don't mind contributing something tangible to enable her get accommodation. Other nairalanders can chip in and any moderator or seun or a trusted nairalander like ishilove et al could be responsible for handling the funds and remiting to the lady.

My sister, go and give that innocent girl to St Vincent the Paul in any Catholic Church.

Demand to see the priest in person, explain everything in detail include especially the omitted details in this thread of yours that you either intentionally or inadvertently omitted.

Tell the priest that a Catholic referred you to the church.

Don't give up on God or Christ even if you have given up on yourself.

Our God is able and your disbelieve or believe in him will never change his status but may change yours respectively.

Please abandon everything you'll be doing tomorrow and start the move.

loneprof:
My dear, I hope all you wrote is true and I genuinely feel bad for you. What the guy wrote about seeking God is true and I also understand that due to your situation, you feel abandoned and alone, but it doesn't negate the fact that what he said is true.

Since this your baby daddy denied the child, have you reported to the police? You can also contact human rights/welfare agency to take up the case with him cos he doesn't have a right to deny his child's paternity. Don't sit down and be looking, contact the nearest police station and explain your situation, they will drag the guy to welfare and force him to pay for the child's upkeep, after all, you didn't impregnate yourself.

I want to hug you for this

RosyIsBlessed:
How are you sure the child's happiness and good care will be guaranteed? What if they plan to use the child for rituals? The heart of man is Wicked and you'll not know from the face.

Is this not the same way you you trusted the man who got you pregnant thinking your happiness has been guaranteed in his hands?

Why do you want to continue same mistakes that has been happening to your family on that innocent child?

Better not do anything you will live to regret all your life. U just want the easy way out of your situation and same repeated mistakes keep happening.

Don't give up that child to anyone, else you'll regret it all your life and she will never forgive u(dead or alive) and you know what that means. Don't play with these words please. Was revealed to me to tell you.

Someone suggested you reach out to child welfare and some other child centered organisations. Follow that suggestion. They'll definitely help that child please.

There's light at the end of the tunnel for you and the child if you go about it the right way.

You just sit at the Comfort of your home and type what you watch in African magic. Have you not seen little children begging b4 on the streets, you think if their parents had the means to train them, the won't. Nigeria is difficult to anyone without a means of income. As that child grow up, responsibilities abound for the mother. We must not always think negative. Think positively sometimes.

@Op adoption is the best thing for that your child. Let her go and grow up in a stable home. I wish you the best in your future endeavors

Righteousness89:
I will be Very Frank with you!

Until the Root Cause of a Problem is Tackled, one might keep Going in Circles. And also using Basket to Fetch Water..

The Same Pattern of your Mum is Exactly what Happened to you.

Its time for you to treat that issue..

It does not look like what can be done by Power.

My Advice to you is to Seek For GENUIE Bible Believing Church. Go there, Surrender to JESUS Completely and Let HIM Work on you..

You need to be Soaked in God to Break Certain yokes and Patterns..

Once the Root Cause is Sorted, other things will Fall in Place..

look for any CHURCH OF CHRIST near you. Best decision for you

UDUJ:
I don't think she really needs our financial help because she would have said so. That notwithstanding if I can get actual proof that her condition is real and not a scam ( too many scams on this forum these days) I don't mind contributing something tangible to enable her get accommodation. Other nairalanders can chip in and any moderator or seun or a trusted nairalander like ishilove et al could be responsible for handling the funds and remiting to the lady.

You are a very nice person . You reminded me of what nairaland use to be before so many children joined us her. To find out if she is real or not is easy . Seun can conduct a fact finding mission ...if he assure us that she is real , then I will also contribute no matter how small. God bless u

OutsideTheBox:
Idk why people are mentioning rape when OP didn't. In her post it sounded like they were in a relationship, the sex was consensual but according to her he left her when she was pregnant. Teenagers do have consensual sex and teenage pregnancy is nothing new. Lil' Wayne's ex (now re-married) was pregnant with her first child at 15. I had to use this example since she's a popular figure but it shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that teenagers have sex. What OP needs to do is track down her child's father, take him to court and collect child support from him, not make a rape accusation. If she had mentioned rape, that would be a different story.

If it's sex between teenagers, it's consensual.

But when it's an adult and a child (U 18), it's no longer consentual, but the adult taking advantage of the child.

That's why they called it rape.

Also looking at the circumstances surrounding her getting pregnant, the man clearly took advantage of her (even if she was above 18 then).

InSanety:
These things are usually in Lagos state.

They have the most advanced laws in the country, and their implementation level is incredibly high. That's why I wanted to know the exact state.

If you venture to other states in Nigeria, you will be surprised to find that the laws are not quite as advanced and implementation is even worse.

As soon as you mentioned the welfare Law, I figured it can only be in Lagos. Even Abuja sef, e no sure me say that law dey here.

Thank you for the enlightenment

No sir, every state has a welfare department that's usually under the ministry of women affairs or youth/social development. The court of law is also poised to act in that effect so technically, no state lacks such humanitarian departments, not even Borno!

You're welcome and I apologize once again.

Righteousness89:
I will be Very Frank with you!

Until the Root Cause of a Problem is Tackled, one might keep Going in Circles. And also using Basket to Fetch Water..

The Same Pattern of your Mum is Exactly what Happened to you.

Its time for you to treat that issue..

It does not look like what can be done by Power.

My Advice to you is to Seek For GENUIE Bible Believing Church. Go there, Surrender to JESUS Completely and Let HIM Work on you..

You need to be Soaked in God to Break Certain yokes and Patterns..

Once the Root Cause is Sorted, other things will Fall in Place..

U are really sick... ND I know my potential attackers will flood God they think am wrong....

If a man needs financial and material help, help him ND don't call God up and down.....

You don't evn know abt Christianity aside what ur pastor told u

Nonsense!

deavicky:
I don't know why I find it difficult to believe this story, or maybe because the write up is too much for a JSS 2 dropout who had left school for over 5years.

Most graduates these days cannot compose this.

That aside, i have taken pains to go through most comments here especially of those who claim to be Christians, i will say what i find is shocking and disappointing indeed. Well you can't give what you do not have.
Some present what they call the gospel in a manner capable of generating more atheists. Sad indeed. What i see here is a case of someone in fire, instead of taking steps to put out the fire or do something so he can quickly regain balance and sanity, you are there screaming Jesus, Jesus. You give the impression that those who have Jesus have no problems at all! And those who have problems do not have Jesus. That is demonic teaching.
Job said worse things, he made wild speeches out of the agony he was going through. Many here play the role of the three frustrated comforters of Job perfectly by your unloving utterances. Sad.
Let me stop here the OP has taken a stand.
OP, take this, Jesus Christ is not like the way he has been painted to you here. At your quiet time talk to God, don't be disheartened, he perfectly understands all you are going through, and thanks for the courage to pour out your heart.
Cc:
Mizflo

Mizflo:
Thanks for the advice. I have lost faith in Jesus because if he was there I wouldn’t have been suffering like this . I don’t want to look for him because he has never care about me and I don’t want to know him

You want to compound your misery. Nobody gets angry with God

Mizflo:
Please I need your advice. I had created this account because I am well known here with my main account because I am always active and I want to remain anonymously.

Am 21 a single mum with 1 girl age 5 , her dad rejected me when I was pregnant he left when I was 4 months pregnant with her .

I had a difficult time growing up , my mum died when I was 8 years and my dad denied me claiming my mum had cheated on him and there’s no way I could be his daughter.

My aunty who was supposed to care for me had never bothered about me , she was always out leaving me in the house all alone without food , whenever I complains she will beat me telling me to go to my mum graveyard to ask her for assistance.

I have suffered in the hand of my aunty she didn’t care about my education if I have managed to complete my primary school till jss2 was thanks to this aunty who was a teacher at my school and a good friend of my mum , she sponsored me , And when I was 14 my aunty landlord kicked her out of the house because of rent arrears she said I am the enemy of progress she cant take me to her boyfriend house because he won’t accept me to stay there that I should go and look for a place , I cried and pleaded with her to take me along with her but she refuse I beg her to show me where my dad is she said he will not accept me because he hated my mum but I beg her to take me to him .

She took me to him it was my first time seeing him I looked just like him with one eye big one small but he insulted the hell out of us saying he will never accept me because my mum was a cheater she had so many boyfriends that I should ask her who my real father is but my aunty insisted that my mum had told her before she passed on that he was my dad even taught I resembled him still he denied and kicked us out like we were dogs I cried and my aunty was angry because of the insult so she left me all alone in the street but later came to me .
Since that day my life situation has worsened because I was forced to stay with different people where I was being abused , my baby dad came as a guardian angel to my life he took care of everything i needed by promising me heaven on Earth I taught he will get me out of my hard situations but I was wrong i find out he was married with kids I was heartbroken because I didn’t want to live the same lifestyle as my mum had lived but history has repeated itself just like my mother had me with a married man but she knew he was married but me I didn’t know , but it was too late for me to moved on because I was already pregnant for him and I didn’t want to abort my baby I have decide to continue the relationship but when I was 4 months pregnant he left me and blocked me from all his contacts , this is the man that has never bothered to asked about his child for 5 years now..

My little girl dont even know her dad the same way I did not know mine until
I was 14 which break my heart anytime I think about it.

My daughter and I are staying with my madam the lady tat I serve her for now 3 years but things here hasn’t been easy for us because my madam children don’t like me they keep accusing of things I don’t do like I stole their money , clothes and many more before my madam was telling them to stop with their bad attitudes towards me but I have noticed that whenever they had accused me she start getting angry with me sometimes we can go days without her not talking to me which I think I have overstayed and I am not longer wanted here I want to leave this house and to go and hustle but I feared for my daughter because I don’t want her to end up like me.

If I leave this house we will be on the street for a long time till I will be able to get somewhere else to stay with her also I don’t think I can give her the best education because if she stay with me she will end up being a teen mother just like I did something I don’t want to happen to her and I came across someone who’s willing to help me by taking care of my daughter to give her the best life something that I have always wanted for her , she promised to take care of her till university and she will give me the money to rent a room and start up business she said she will take things to the right direction like adoption but I don’t know how she will do it because I have no idea that I will have to sign up papers for agreement i have agreed because I think is really a good opportunity for me even taught I have accepted but sometimes I am getting worried about giving her my daughter I am having sleepless nights and thinking all nights.

I am just tired of living this life I didn’t ask to be born my parents created me and now I am suffering from their mistakes something I didn’t consented and I don’t want my daughter to suffer because of my mistake I think giving her up for adoption is a good thing , but I don’t know if I am doing the right things.

please no insult what is your advice for me.

Thanks

Giving her up in my opinion is selfish of you.

Pls don't do to her what your parents did to you.

Your miracle is coming. Don't leave your madam, you don't have the luxury.

You have no idea what they will do with her so you can't leave her. This is Naija, adoption is not what we see in the movies.

You may be selling her into slavery and torture.

Mizflo:
Thanks for the advice. I have lost faith in Jesus because if he was there I wouldn’t have been suffering like this . I don’t want to look for him because he has never care about me and I don’t want to know him

You want to compound your misery. Nobody gets angry with God. That's too dangerous for you

ModestGal:
I want to hug you for this

Thank God o... Been looking for someone to hug sef.

It's all good my sister. We gats show love to each other...

Nuttella:
Hey, dont say that, everything happens for a reason, dont blame Jesus, you are the one that opened your small legs for your baby daddy, Jesus didnt tell you to.

don't Blame her, she was vulnerable. You might not survive all she's gone through, some times situation can make one deny his or her faith but blaming them won't solve it.

Lawyers in the house, can't she charge her dad or her baby Daddy to Court?