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How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect - Romance - Nairaland

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How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 5:29pm On Aug 20, 2020
I had to create a new account for this thread. Please try to read everything, so you would know what to say

It's been more than a year now, but I still hurt badly. I entered a relationship with this girl when I was in my 200L and she was still a jambite. She was beautiful, but it didn't show because she was suffering at that time. I was equally a handsome campus guy. Everything was fine between us and the journey was so sweet. In her, I found all the important things I needed in a relationship, and the love blossomed. Though she's got her bad sides, which is pride and stubbornness. I overlooked this believing love conquers all. At some point, I began to give her a third of my upkeep every month.
Fast forward to early last year, she was already in her final year. One thing led to another and we had to cohabit, and this required me to move to the state she schools. I quit my job in my state and focused on getting something better in the Internet space, and it worked for me. The whole arrangement felt like it was made in heaven. We lived happily like in the movies and more money was starting to flow in.
All this while, everything I earned was channeled to seeing her through the university, as she's got almost no financial support from her home. I'll say I was her provider 85% of the time all through her school days.
When I got the big job online that paid roughly $1,500 per month, money became surplus. I began to polish and furnish her with everything she needs to look good. She responded well to the spending and within months she dressed and looked like the daughter of a politician. During all this time, I never thought to invest or even polish myself to look better. I was only focused on her happiness.
Before we began to cohabit, I had some girls I do with, because of the distance between my state of residence and her school. Besides, she is not the type that fancies sex. Because she knows she's not giving me enough shots (like once in 4months), she doesn't make serious quarrel when she finds out I am doing other girls.
Within a few weeks of staying together, she asked me to stop sleeping around, that she's not comfortable with that anymore. She said I should leave all my girls that she would give me anything I want from a girl. I was convinced and that was what I even wanted all along. Cheating has never been my ideal. So, I left all my girls and clung to her. We both agreed to marry and everything was good, at least for a while.
After two months of this faithful arrangement, and about 3months into my dream job. Something happened.
Out of curiosity, she went searching through my phone and reading all my chats with other girls. She did this for weeks especially when I'm asleep after some shots.
What she found in her search made her believe I was still dating one of the girls.
One morning, she broke up with me saying that I still cheat on her. She broke up a 5years relationship. I tried to explain and make her understand her assumptions are wrong. I even called the accused girl in her presence with the phone on speaker and asked her to tell my girlfriend my position in her life. The accused girl confirmed it to her that we are now just casual friends and nothing more than that. But my girlfriend didn't believe that. She changed overnight. She began to disrespect me she stopped doing anything with me and even left the house and stayed where I believe is her girlfriend's place (though not sure). I took her as my everything and when she left, my whole life crumbled before my eyes. I turned from a vibrant intelligent and happy lad, into a depressed, unproductive, and confused person.
The emotional blast caused me to lose concentration and I began to make mistakes with my job. I woke up one morning to see a sack email sitting in my inbox. This was the second blast and at that moment I wished I could die. Everything that made me happy was no more with me, and I cried most of the time.
When she comes home to take clean clothes and drop dirty ones, she'll just walk in and out of the room like I wasn't there. Even when it's written all over me that I was dying from the heartbreak, she seemed very happy and unconcerned seeing me in that state.
This went on for like 5months. During this time. She still comes home only to eat the food I cooked and to change her clothes, after that she's gone again. At some point I noticed a little remorse in her as she began to come home more frequently, but her pride won't allow her talk to me, not to talk of apologise.
One day I thought I should apologize for doing nothing. I called her to come home. She came home that evening and I asked her to forgive anything I did to annoy her and come back to me. She reluctantly accepted with the clause of no more sex and no extreme romance. I objected to this because I can't stay without doing something once in a while. She said that I'm not yet serious, packed some clothes and left the house. She never talked to me except she needs money which I still gave, thinking it would bring her back. But I thought wrong.
This was how it went on till I went bankrupt and completely broken.
I continued trying to get her back as that seemed to be the only thing that can restore life to the creature I have become. But the more I tried, the more I was burnt.
Because she's now polished and looking the path, she began rolling with very rich men as some used to drop her off with exotic cars when she comes to pick clean clothes. When I try asking she'd tell me he's just asked her out but nothing is happening.
After one year of suffering from heartbreak induced depression. I decided to help myself. I began to pick up girls again, I tried having a lot of sex, but it only helped for a moment. No matter how good my new girls are, and how well they do the do. No one seemed to fill that hole in me. I still hurt and I'm still depressed.

Fast forward to this day. She's gone, my money and dream job also gone. But the hurt and emotional damage remain. I had to go back to my family house as my finance doesn't permit me paying rent, and my new business is not receiving the best of efforts.

Now the problem is. How do I move on? How do I get to heal? How do I find the vibrant and happy me that once was? How do I erase her memory so I can find love again? How do I become a man again because time is no longer surplus like that for me?
It's been more than a year but I still feel betrayed and broken, as if it all happened yesterday. cry cry


Mods please. Let this get the maximum exposure

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Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by dingbang(m): 5:48pm On Aug 20, 2020
Eya, chai..ndo cry

10 Likes

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by KristaPretty(f): 5:54pm On Aug 20, 2020
This matter tie wrapper and it's emotionally draining.

First of all, women never forget! Even with the distance and she clearly knew you were having sex with others, she stayed and accepted because you were far (that doesn't sound normal). As a man, will you accept and be fully aware of the fact that your woman is straffing someone else because you are not together in same environment? Serious relationship?Reason am na. The best respect you can accord to your serious partner is he or she not being aware you are doing outside (if you must do, which is not recommended)

Anyway it has already happened and all you need to do is to forgive her and yourself. If you must bounce back financially, you need to let go and forget. Difficult right? Very difficult to even imagine.

Start by keeping yourself VERY BUSY with activities, a busy mind will make you think less of your issues.

Stop lamenting and try to get back on track by engaging in things you love doing, go out and meet people (this is different from going out to meet girls to sleep with). People who will bring reasonable financial business connections to you. Watch videos or comedy movies when you are bored, always remember that you are getting stuck to someone who has gotten over you. Your loss!
Why don't you keep this in mind "we are all replaceable ". When you realise that you can be replaced by someone after all you have done, you will not feel depressed or sad over anyone.
Don't rush into any relationship too. Being single sometimes is fun!

It is well.

26 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by dingbang(m): 6:04pm On Aug 20, 2020
KristaPretty:
This matter tie wrapper and it's emotionally draining.

First of all, women never forget! Even with the distance and she clearly knew you were having sex with others, she stayed and accepted because you were far (that doesn't sound normal). As a man, will you accept and be fully aware of the fact that your woman is straffing someone else because you are not together in same environment? Serious relationship?Reason am na. The best respect you can accord to your serious partner is he or she not being aware you are doing outside (if you must do, which is not recommended)

Anyway it has already happened and all you need to do is to forgive her and yourself. If you must bounce back financially, you need to let go and forget. Difficult right? Very difficult to even imagine.

Start by keeping yourself VERY BUSY with activities, a busy mind will make you think less of your issues.

Stop lamenting and try to get back on track by engaging in things you love doing, go out and meet people (this is different from going out to meet girls to sleep with). People who will bring reasonable financial business connections to you. Watch videos or comedy movies when you are bored, always remember that you are getting stuck to someone who has gotten over you. Your loss!
Why don't you keep this in mind "we are all replaceable ". When you realise that you can be replaced by someone after all you have done, you will not feel depressed or sad over anyone.
Don't rush into any relationship too. Being single sometimes is fun!

It is well.

being single is not fun cry
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by longetivity(m): 6:05pm On Aug 20, 2020
so after sponsoring her education for years she still decides to leave you ...... only a foolish man in this generation will do what op has done.




Op think say he wise ... but he be mumu man

93 Likes 9 Shares

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Jack005(m): 6:07pm On Aug 20, 2020
A woman just ruined you because of your weak nature and stupidity!! More idiots keep sprawling out from God knows where,time and time again we've seen threads like this and we will keep seeing them since a large number of guys have refused to learn from others experience.

75 Likes 8 Shares

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 6:09pm On Aug 20, 2020
KristaPretty:
This matter tie wrapper and it's emotionally draining.

First of all, women never forget! Even with the distance and she clearly knew you were having sex with others, she stayed and accepted because you were far (that doesn't sound normal). As a man, will you accept and be fully aware of the fact that your woman is straffing someone else because you are not together in same environment? Serious relationship?Reason am na. The best respect you can accord to your serious partner is he or she not being aware you are doing outside (if you must do, which is not recommended)

I've tried all that. But it's still too hard to move on because I already built my life around this girl.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by EmeraldKing7(m): 6:10pm On Aug 20, 2020
Sir what is a SIMP?

Son,a simp is a man who is too attentive and submissive to women, especially out of a failed hope of winning some entitled sexual attention or activity from them

Op you are simp.Take the redpill and cure yourself of this disease

81 Likes 6 Shares

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 6:12pm On Aug 20, 2020
Jack005:
A woman just ruined you because of your weak nature and stupidity!! More idiots keep sprawling out from God knows where,time and time again we've seen threads like this and we will keep seeing them since a large number of guys have refused to learn from others experience.


Ruined is an understatement. I've learned, but the road to restoration still eludes me.

5 Likes

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by decatalyst(m): 6:13pm On Aug 20, 2020
So, men like this still exist?


You are definition of a simp! No pun intended.

How can you allow a girl give you the cold shoulder treatment even when you still give her hard earned money? Walks in any time she likes...what happens to moving out and stay out of contact for a while in order to allow her come back to her senses? You tried to prove to her that you didn't cheat...you over did it, and that's where you lost your respect!

Ogneni, have a good bath and dress up...take a walk and think of a future you want for yourself...then have a plan...start acting already. She is past tense, already...no point crying over spilled milk!

42 Likes

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by KristaPretty(f): 7:22pm On Aug 20, 2020
dingbang:
being single is not fun cry

You choose not to make it fun! grin grin

1 Like

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by KristaPretty(f): 7:24pm On Aug 20, 2020
RavagedHeart:


I've tried all that. But it's still too hard to move on because I already built my life around this girl.

Think of this, you built your life around her, gave her all you could and can't do without her. Where are you in her life now You have been replaced grin grin angry

If you keep looking back, you never will see what you have in store.

5 Likes

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by SageMK: 7:29pm On Aug 20, 2020
How do you heal? — Quit the useless sex life.

Bros no matter how hard you ejaculate or who you ejaculate into, it'll not help you forget her or ease all the anger and pain. So try and stop it.

And yes, she betrayed you. But it's not the end. What you had with her is now HISTORY. Nothing but one of life's lesson. Time to move.


Focus and Build yourself up with things you love to do. Put one foot in front of the other. Find a job and make platonic friends. Or you'll perish.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by davidhobo: 7:39pm On Aug 20, 2020
Wow..
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by MJBOLT: 8:00pm On Aug 20, 2020
greatresearcher1,we have found another one,please add his name to the HOF,let it be very bold.

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by gunners160(m): 8:13pm On Aug 20, 2020
I resist every temptation that will make me go advice you.
Is it people dnt learn from d failures of others or they are too dumb to learn. The gal played you and I am happy she did. Since love blind ur eyes, remain blind

5 Likes

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Ishilove: 8:14pm On Aug 20, 2020
This feels like a Hints story.

8 Likes

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 8:17pm On Aug 20, 2020
I'm sorry, but I don't believe your story. Too many hooks, line, and sinker tales have been everywhere on this site lately. And you need the maximum exposure, why exactly? Someone who's hurting would not even bother about the front page. All they would need at that time is to vent out their hurt/frustrations. What's the least advice you think you'd get that you already haven't known? Maybe, some bunch of self-acclaimed awakened NL dudes will call you a SIMP, poosy-ho nigga, weak man and whatever mumble-jumble they conjure out these days and what else? Force you into their red-pills cult at all cost and give you some red-pills nuggets to read.

You are only looking for sensational comments to thrive on. You know that kind of M v F gender thingy. It's not an anomaly, though, so I understand. I think it's time for me to start writing sensational stories too.

Just watch how the word "SIMP" will start flying around this thread.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 8:19pm On Aug 20, 2020
Ishilove:
This feels like a Hints story.

Thankfully, you can see that too.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Ishilove: 8:21pm On Aug 20, 2020
UyaiIncomparabl:


Thankfully, you can see that too.
We sabi their gimmicks

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Davidoff2000: 8:22pm On Aug 20, 2020
Bros..you are not telling us the whole truth. How can a woman leave you when yku are are earning 600k a momth. A student for that matter and one you have been with for four years?

Just on suspicion? Not that she even caught you. And walk away from you while still ewrning money and taking care of her in a small town that is not abuja, lagos or PH.

That your dream job..what is it yahoo abi? Even at that, she wont still leave you. Tell us the truth. weo go beat you

10 Likes

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 8:32pm On Aug 20, 2020
Ishilove:
This feels like a Hints story.
I know why you feel that way. But all I told her was my life experience. As unbelievable as it seems, it is nothing but my true story.

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 8:36pm On Aug 20, 2020
UyaiIncomparabl:
I'm sorry, but I don't believe your story. Too many hooks, line, and sinker tales have been everywhere on this site lately. And you need the maximum exposure, why exactly? Someone who's hurting would not even bother about the front page. All they would need at that time is to vent out their hurt/frustrations. What's the least advice you think you'd get that you already haven't known? Maybe, some bunch of self-acclaimed awakened NL dudes will call you a SIMP, poosy-ho nigga, weak man and whatever mumble-jumble they conjure out these days and what else? Force you into their red-pills cult at all cost and give you some red-pills nuggets to read.

You are only looking for sensational comments to thrive on. You know that kind of M v F gender thingy. It's not an anomaly, though, so I understand. I think it's time for me to start writing sensational stories too.

Just watch how the word "SIMP" will start flying around this thread.

Yes. I may be looking for sentimental comments to thrive on. The story up there has no part that was made up. I only made it short.

Calling for front page is to get as many comments as possible. Who knows I might find that one word that might help. Which is the purpose I made this thread.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 8:43pm On Aug 20, 2020
Davidoff2000:

Bros..you are not telling us the whole truth. How can a woman leave you when yku are are earning 600k a momth. A student for that matter and one you have been with for four years?

Just on suspicion? Not that she even caught you. And walk away from you while still ewrning money and taking care of her in a small town that is not abuja, lagos or PH.

That your dream job..what is it yahoo abi? Even at that, she wont still leave you. Tell us the truth. weo go beat you

I'm not going to mention the job to avoid pointing fingers to my real self.
And she didn't school in a small town. But I won't mention that too.
I think her pride made her stand by her decision, and she's got other richer men coming her way. I just don't know.
You haven't met girls with excessive strong head

6 Likes

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 8:52pm On Aug 20, 2020
RavagedHeart:


Yes. I may be looking for sentimental comments to thrive on. The story up there has no part that was made up. I only made it short.

Calling for front page is to get as many comments as possible. Who knows I might find that one word that might help. Which is the purpose I made this thread.

I still don't believe you. Have fun, anyway.

I also hope you get the one comment that will elevate your hurt to happiness just as you want.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 8:59pm On Aug 20, 2020
UyaiIncomparabl:


I still don't believe you. Have fun, anyway.

I also hope you get the one comment that will elevate your hurt to happiness just as you want.

I wonder how you think all this can translate to fun. This is more reason most people can't tell their true story. People will always turn it around.

12 Likes

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by ezechi24(m): 8:59pm On Aug 20, 2020
Op sorry o, but you mumu ooooo....if you were to be my brother you for don collect sense giving slaps...I guess you can not tel your father this rubbish you just typed...you spent everything on her, she left you for months and you still foolishly send her money for upkeep...where are all these SIMPs coming out from for gods sake...make una drink better red tonic una no free...now you are useless both to your family you didn't remember to carter for when you had money and to yourself...you mumu nobbe small....but I know these arepure lies anyways?

7 Likes

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by LadySarah: 9:05pm On Aug 20, 2020
akuko Mike Ejeagha

6 Likes

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Davidoff2000: 9:14pm On Aug 20, 2020
RavagedHeart:


I'm not going to mention the job to avoid pointing fingers to my real self.
And she didn't school in a small town. But I won't mention that too.
I think her pride made her stand by her decision, and she's got other richer men coming her way. I just don't know.
You haven't met girls with excessive strong head

My brother, i am saying this because i have been in your same exact shoes, i am still.in those shoes, even as we speak...almost a year on, and mine too held hands on a very flimsy reason to leave(we were also co habitting) but if i was making just a quatter of what you were even making,she would have gone nowhere.

Most of our issues, if you traced the root, they were money related. A woman you being with a for four of 5yrs? Jusr because she saw a message?

Like mine, that was just the excuse..

And except she is an out an out runz girl, who shags any married man that comes along, how many men can she meet who earn 600k monthly.

Na so the rich men full nigeria

6 Likes

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 9:27pm On Aug 20, 2020
LadySarah:
akuko Mike Ejeagha
I wish it is. I'd even pay to make it so of it were possible.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Makenno(m): 9:40pm On Aug 20, 2020
RavagedHeart:
I had to create a new account for this thread. Please try to read everything, so you would know what to say

When I got the big job online that paid roughly $1,500 per month, money became surplus. I began to polish and furnish her with everything she needs to look good. She responded well to the spending and within months she dressed and looked like the daughter of a politician. During all this time, I never thought to invest or even polish myself to look better. I was only focused on her happiness.
exposure[/b]

Bro that your girlfriend was selfish. Being selfish is an indecent behavior.

Please don't be selfish. Share the kind of work you did online. PM me, if you can't post it here.

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