Hosting is not an easy task.
Shopping
Cooking
Serving
Cleaning.

With a toddler running around (you said she was pregnant 18 months ago).

She did this before and know the pains she went through, it's fine if she doesn't want to do it again.

Since you can't afford a caterer now, get snacks and drinks. There's always a 1st time.
Don't compare your wife to other people's, you're not in their homes to see how they run things.

Laslas, don't allow a group created to solve problems now bring Problems in your home. Peace

GoodFaith:

What did you just say "did you marry a cook?" You are a shameless person No he didn't marry a cook but a partner that should support him I feel sorry for you

foolish talk from a foolish person

Apktotheworld:

How is it bruv?

Great bro
Nigeria have lot of useless people

OP: Must you host? Are there no other men that can do the hosting? I thought you hosted not long ago?
Learn to reject somethings, who told you that members of that your group donot know that times are hard?
Protect your wife and family and do well to reject unneccessary responsibilities. Of what use is this get together in this hard time in Nigeria?
Get sense bro, dont creat problem in your family over some men who doesnt give a fvck about you.

joyandfaith:


foolish talk from a foolish person

Dumb ass bitch
Whom is fool?
I guess it's your dumb ass
Go suck on a D bitch
no common sense
Talking from your ass
Please use ur head

First off, you're heartless for allowing your 5 months old wife go through the stress of preparing food for this number of persons. Secondly, where are the wives of those other men? Those 19 wives including your wife should be the cooks. How can you tell your wife to do the cooking? Please respect her decision, you married her, you didn't buy her.

DPricey1:
Hosting is not an easy task.
Shopping
Cooking
Serving
Cleaning.

With a toddler running around (you said she was pregnant 18 months ago).

She did this before and know the pains she went through, it's fine if she doesn't want to do it again.

Since you can't afford a caterer now, get snacks and drinks. There's always a 1st time.
Don't compare your wife to other people's, you're not in their homes to see how they run things.

Laslas, don't allow a group created to solve problems now bring Problems in your home. Peace

Nothing in life is "easy task".
but we deal with it

LadySarah:
She said she can't. Leave her nw. Because she did the first one you now readily accepted the second again.That'swhy they say don't start what you can't finish. Nigerian wives really suffer oo.



But must you cook in this economy wey keep face lyk this?
You can buy drinks with meat pie
or
pepper soup and order for agidi(Eko) that's less stressful
or
use the caterer
or
even cook it yourselves to foster the unity more.

Nigerian wives are suffering on a daily basis

SirMichael1:


It's okay please. I'm not here to cause a fight. I just need advice.

See the Pussy niggar wey boys wan help. If you like accept it, but your wife is simply being rebellious and once she get away with this, be ready to deal with other rebellious attitude. By the way, everyone knows this covid period is biting economically, why are they bent on hosting meeting this period? ... Why can’t theh halt the meeting till next year when things gets back to normal? .... Man up and tell them covid makes things tough economically and it’s affecting you hence, you can’t host the meeting for now and suggest it’s shifted to next year when things return to normal. If they refused, then you pull out of the meeting, you won’t go to hell and heaven won’t fall. Don’t loose your family because of meeting group while your fellow members keep theirs unless they will contribute or bring foods individually... In all, stand up to your wife and stand up to your meeting people. Summarily, get some balls and be a man.

send me her number let me speak with her to know why.....


I'm a love doctor.

Stop marrying Nigerian women. They are useless

SirMichael1:


The previous get togethers I went to, their wife did the cooking. It's just making of soup while I make the swallow.

who will do the serving and the cleaning?

O ga gan o. To the people saying he should go and bring his sisters and relatives to do the cooking, shey those ones do not have their own families too ni? or when the husband now channels more of his resources to his siblings, the wife would then remember that they are third-parties and that she should be the first port of call.

I'm a young comfortable guy that grew up in a well-knit home. There should be absolutely no issue for a couple hosting the church people in their home for an event that happens once in TWO years, especially when the tasks will be equally shared between the husband and wife. Even as bachelors, we know how we rally around to organize parties that happen more frequently with friends, let alone that of a couple.

So to those who are forming you want to kill your wife, get a caterer, etc I pity your attempt at pseudo-wokeness. If we dig deeper, most of you'll likely be from dysfunctional families. You lack the practical understanding of the workings of a functional marriage. Marriage also entails learning to interact with your social network in church, place of work, community. A communal social relationship is part of responsible living and if you should understand that it will be anti-social behavior to decline a tradition of hosting a social group that holds once in 2 years simply on the whims of inconvenience, provided there is no deeper underlying issue between the husband and the wife.

At the office, if for example you know your client meeting holds every year. You cannot just tell your boss when the meeting is near that you don't want to be involved in the preparation for the meeting simply because it's too stressful and that if your boss insists it'll be tantamount to trampling on your human rights. You'd be out of job in a jiffy. All the excuses of she may be too stressed, it's not easy cooking for 20 people, don't you have money, hold absolutely no water when the husband has already suggested several alternative ways to alleviate the burden on the wife. It just appears that she is simply recalcitrant.

I have no problem with someone being a feminist o. But at least do it with brain.

We all have areas of strengths and weaknesses. Your wife might not be the kitchen type. As odd as it might sound, some women dread cooking while some enjoy it. If she insists, get someone you can tip for the job (not necessarily a professional caterer). Abi make I come cook am ni?
She'll come around

Sarah20A:
Nigerian wives are suffering on a daily basis

Really
Nigerian are suffering on a daily basis not just women
men too
Can you believe cooking is now a federal case

wany:

To the maid or under age girl you married, cause it can't be said to an adult.warp primitive brain.

see this one b forming superwoman online.

UyaiIncomparabl:
If only people knew this boy is trolling.

Dear, he may not be trolling. In one church I attended while in Ibadan (a RCCG Church), it's the same pattern. In fact, I was initially tempted to ask him if he resides in Ibadan. It was the first of its kind I will see in RCCG.

Unless OP took up someone else's story to come troll for here.

SmileDance:
Life will be much better when people start thinking with their brains and not their religion.
Na church matter wan break person home now so o

In a nutshell, I just tire , feel stressed sef reading the whole story! Me, I no kuku get power for this kine stress sef.

Little advice, beg madam well, well that she should help out for the last time for you to save face. Get one agoyin woman to do the shopping cooking and clean up. The church woman can help out with the serving and all. Madam will just supervise.
Let's know how it pans out.

SmileDance:
who were it up to o? It were up to who? It were not up to you to decide how your home is run? I were not understanding

Na Ibadan you dey abi?

There are lot of sorry ass ladies here
or there are lot of young ladies here that need to grow up

This is where the problem is from. Trying to avoid being seeing as a "dictator." One thing I've learnt about women is that once you give them a metre, they'll take a mile.
There's absolutely nothing wrong in hosting your friends or church members. Men have been hosting other men in their homes since the beginning of time.

You even pounded for 20 people the previous time while she just made the soup. How much considerate could you be?

It's a shame on your household if a hosting fails because the wife refused to partake in the cooking.

It's no longer you hosting your church members, it's your family hosting your church members and you all are supposed to be involved.

Too much wokeness is what I see here. You trying to be the "perfect gentlemanly husband."

God knows I can never be in this predicament. It's a bluepillers problem.

SirMichael1:


I didn't start my relationship on the note of being a dictator, hence I usually appeal to her emotions.

SirMichael1:


I rejected it in Jesus name! Our home will not be broken

I'm not wishing you bad but na small small e take dey start.

Think with your brain not religion

You might not know how stressful cooking for over 20 people is so please try to understand and respect her feelings

Reading through the comments of most ladies, I weep for many marriages.

Now, I understand why many marriages don't last. It's really sad how we got to this stage.

Samadict:
We all have areas of strengths and weaknesses. Your wife might not be the kitchen type. As odd as it might sound, some women dread cooking while some enjoy it. If she insists, get someone you can tip for the job (not necessarily a professional caterer). Abi make I come cook am ni?
She'll come around

You have some sense
Not some of the ladies that are talking trash

Oga, na only food una dey chop for that una church? Please don't allow your wife to go through that stress, what about your family, members maybe your sisters or sister in-law. They can help you with the cooking. Your wife might actually have her reason of not helping out this time around.

Your friends need to contribute for the monthly meetings. Especially in this Covid time so that you people can hire caterers for your meetings.

You can decline to host in the meantime till
you are buoyant enough to hire a caterer.

in the meantime do not use this to cause a rift in your home. she has the right to decline to cook for such events as it is major stress.

she is your wife first and foremost and not a caterer. it is also possible she is just not in the mood to host now or she is pissed about something. Sort out the cooking and sort her out l8r.

Thats how I will handle it though.

SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

GoodFaith:

Really
Nigerian are suffering on a daily basis not just women
men too
Can you believe cooking is now a federal case

he should simply do the cooking himself or hire a caterer

RealisticGirl:
Oga, na only food una dey chop for that una church? Please don't allow your wife to go through that stress, what about your family, members maybe your sisters or sister in-law. They can help you with the cooking. Your wife might actually have her reason of not helping out this time around.

The man go to other people house to eat
Lot of people lack wisdom here
Guess lot of the people are likely young with no life experience

GoodFaith:
Dumb ass bitch Whom is fool? I guess it's your dumb ass Go suck on a D bitch no common sense Talking from your ass Please use ur head

smelling goat

Sarah20A:
he should simply do the cooking himself or hire a caterer

The man don't have a wife
I have ask him to reach out to me

joyandfaith:


smelling goat

Get a life bitch
smelling dog
Take a shower fool
Please use your head not your pussy