First of all, no, the topic is not about me. I certainly did NOT save myself for marriage - I had loads of fun jare!
The topic is about this guy anonymously interviewed on Zikko magazine (www.zikoko.com). I have copy-pasted the interview contents below. Read, think about it, then tell me what you think in the comments. Enjoy!

P.S: All rights to the article belong to zikko.com; I don't own any intellectual rights whatsoever to the quoted article.
https://www.zikoko.com/life/sexlife/sex-life-i-regret-saving-myself-for-marriage/

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 28-year-old heterosexual man who waited until he was married to have sex. He talks about having very little sexual chemistry with his wife and finding gratification outside his marriage.



What was your first sexual experience?

I was 19 in uni. There was this babe I liked from a different fellowship and she liked me too. She tried to kiss me, but I wasn’t really into it. Then she grabbed my dick and gave me a hand job. Well, she tried to. I wasn’t exactly responsive, so she just stopped.

That sounds like assault.

I wouldn’t say that. I kind of enjoyed the attention, but I was basically a religious extremist at the time. My dad had taught me that women were sent by the devil to steal the destiny of men, so I was mostly scared of having my destiny stolen. I don’t blame her for trying so hard. Women aren’t really used to getting rejected.

How else did your religion affect your approach to sex?

I used to masturbate a lot. I would ask God for forgiveness before I started, while I was doing it and immediately I finished. I just wanted to make sure that if the trumpet sounded while my dick was in my hand, I would still make heaven.
The religious guilt also lowkey elevated the experience. The more taboo masturbation felt, the better it was. I would hear a revival message, then I wouldn’t touch myself for like three weeks. The first masturbation session after that was always fire.

LMAO. Don’t kill me.

I even remember one night we went to pray against the spirit of masturbation. A visiting evangelist asked people struggling with it to come forward but, based on my ranking in the fellowship at the time, I just couldn’t.
How would I stand up and admit to being addicted to masturbation? God forbid. So, I decided to pray privately. After that intense prayer session, I didn’t masturbate for two solid days. Amen?

Amen.

Then on the third day, damn. So much virtue flowed through me.

LMAO. What kind of relationships did you have with women at the time?

I kissed a few girls here and there, but I never made out. The thought of even touching a girl’s breast terrified me. More than anything, I really just wanted to be able to say that the first woman I ever made out with was my wife.

Is that what happened?

Yeah. I met her in uni. We started off as friends, but we both clearly liked each other, so I asked her to be my girlfriend and she agreed. We dated for about five years before we eventually got married.

Did you guys do anything sexual before you got married?

For sure. We made out and gave each other head. This was when I started becoming a lot more curious. I wanted to explore different fetishes, but I couldn’t do any of that within my Christian relationship.

So, both of you did everything except penetrative sex?

Lmao. Yeah. You know how Christians define virginity now: we don’t see it as sex unless there’s penetration involved. So, we were able to use that loophole to justify making out and giving head.

What was the first penetrative experience like?

It was horrible. I didn’t understand anything that was happening. I thought everything would just flow naturally, but that wasn’t the case at all. Honestly, I just assumed I didn’t like sex that much because of how bad it was.

Oh wow. Did your wife feel the same way?

Yeah. We both felt sex was awkward, and nothing we tried was working. We eventually started spacing it out because it wasn’t something either of us looked forward to. Sex just felt like a chore we had to do from time to time.

How often was it happening?

There wasn’t a timetable, but the frequency kept dropping steadily. It went from three times a month to once every three months. I think a whole year is the longest we’ve gone without sex.

Wow. So you haven’t enjoyed sex since you got married?

Not with my wife, no. We’ve tried to make things better, but it’s never worked. I just don’t think we are sexually compatible, and this is something we would have known if we had just explored before we got married.

Not with your wife? There have been other women?

LMAO. Yes oh. I believed that if I saved myself for marriage, God would reward me with mind-blowing sex, but that didn’t happen. I kept up my end of the bargain, but He didn’t keep His. So, since that was a scam, I’ve decided to help myself.

LMAO. How has that been?

It’s been great. We thank God for his faithfulness and tender mercies. One door shut, and he opened several more. I remember meeting one Igbo babe during a work trip and she destroyed my destiny. The sex was so easy and natural. It was just beautiful.

How many people have you been with outside your marriage?

If we’re talking makeout sessions, MouthAction and the likes, then I’ve actually lost count. If we’re talking going all the way — full-on penetrative sex – then it’s just been with two other people.

Is it just about sex or are these encounters deeper?

I used to think I was demisexual, but I think that’s changing: I can now have sex without forming emotional bonds. So, right now, I just have one person that I have a real bond with, but for the other women, it’s not that deep. I just find them attractive.

Wait. Is your marriage actually open or are you cheating?

It’s open. I brought up the idea and she was very enthusiastic about it. I’m happy to see that she’s also been enjoying herself since we started. This has made it very clear that the problem wasn’t with either of us; we are just not compatible in that way.
Honesty, I also think monogamy isn’t sustainable. Humans eventually get bored of everything, but somehow, we are expected to be okay with sleeping with one person forever. That doesn’t make any sense.

How has this arrangement affected your marriage?

It hasn’t. I love my wife and she loves me too. We still have sex, but not a lot. Whenever we want to have the kind of sex that we both want, we know who to call. Everything else about the marriage is great, but we are no longer forcing what doesn’t work.
Due to the lockdown, however, we’ve only been able to have sex with each other. So, it happens like once a month or once every two months. For the most part, I’ve just been masturbating.

Would you say you’re still religious?

Wouldn’t I be a hypocrite if I was? I could deceive myself and say that God sees my heart, but if I’m being honest. I know there’s no way to justify an open marriage within Christianity. So, no, I’m no longer religious.

How would you rate your sex life on a scale of 1 to 10?

I’d give it a 6. My masturbation sessions are super exciting, but it’s not enough. If there wasn’t a lockdown and I could be with the one person I really want to have sex with, then I would give it a 10. The thought of eventually seeing her keeps me going though.

And that's it, people.

One last comment from me: I don't post often and I hate telling people what to do with their lives. But this scenario above is so common, you wouldn't believe it. So many people getting into marriage and hoping God will provide mind-blowing s3x. Sometimes it works, but most times it doesn't. And take it from me, after having plenty money and having a partner who is at least a decent person (i.e. not a complete assh0le or b!tch), having good s3x is the next most important thing to keep a marriage going. You can pray and kabash from now till Angel Gabriel blows the trumpet, but if bros or madam is not getting some good sugar, sooner or later they gon find that sugar somewhere else. Some may not agree with me, but it's ok - it is your life not mine. And as they say, experience is the best teacher.

That is why u need to be a driver before driving a car.....

Righteousness89:
Whether anyone regrets or does not Regret!

It does not Change the Fact that Fornication is Evil.
Immorality of any kind is Evil.

There is no good Fornication or just to Test!

Fornication is Sin ! It is Evil! It will send you to Hell!

Bro u even get dick at all ....... If konji hold u , na then u go understand

[quote author=Juliusmomoh post=93668043]
Bro u even get dick at all ....... If konji hold u , na then u go understand

why na see question you dey ask pastor why nau get thee behind apostle evangelist reverend doctor pastor righteousness89

[quote author=Franktom247 post=93669008][/quote] .

Righteousness89:
Whether anyone regrets or does not Regret!

It does not Change the Fact that Fornication is Evil.
Immorality of any kind is Evil.

There is no good Fornication or just to Test!

Fornication is Sin ! It is Evil! It will send you to Hell!

Righteousness89 no go kee person for Nairaland . Wetin be your problem sef for this life? Everytime hell fire bla bla bla.

blinking001:

Righteousness89 no go kee person for Nairaland . Wetin be your problem sef for this life? Everytime hell fire bla bla bla.

The guy is suffering from paranoia

Fake or made up stories.

Which african man will condone open marriage.

....I used to masturbate a lot. I would ask God for forgiveness before I started, while I was doing it and immediately I finished. I just wanted to make sure that if the trumpet sounded while my dick was in my hand, I would still make heaven...

This guy na fool

thebosstrevor1:
Fake or made up stories.

Which african man will condone open marriage.

Move around my brother.
Try and leave aba for once in your life and mingle with other people.
A lot is happening now.
You will be shocked to find out that ur next door neighbor is even bisexual plus trans combined.

Righteousness89:
Whether anyone regrets or does not Regret!

It does not Change the Fact that Fornication is Evil.
Immorality of any kind is Evil.

There is no good Fornication or just to Test!

Fornication is Sin ! It is Evil! It will send you to Hell!

There are some champion fornicators in the bible, and they all made it to heaven just fine - God was even blessing some them more whilst they fornicated and cavorted. So.... I think I'll be just fine.

Juliusmomoh:
That is why u need to be a driver before driving a car.....

Yup. In fact, both "drivers" and "drivees" need to get down to brass tacks before finalizing the deal.

thebosstrevor1:
Fake or made up stories.

Which african man will condone open marriage.

Just one sentence, and I can already surmise that you are not married. Don't worry, experience teaches best.

punisha:




Move around my brother.
Try and leave aba for once in your life and mingle with other people.
A lot is happening now.
You will be shocked to find out that ur next door neighbor is even bisexual plus trans combined.

Thank you.

Most people don't realise that Nigerians are among the most sexually deviant in the world. But we pretend sooo much! And always carrying around flags of religion and culture...

Most don't realise that homosexuality has been with us even before the missionaries started their same-sex schools. Most don't realise that incest sex has been in our societies for hundreds of years. We just hush-hush it all, openly and loudly condemn and criminalise it, and secretly go back to scoop from the forbidden pot.

What is a mind blowing sex to a first time couple?
All those nonsense is as a result of rampant immorality

hayzed1090:
What is a mind blowing sex to a first time couple?
All those nonsense is as a result of rampant immorality

Exactly!!!

They did everything before marriage, except "penetration", but come around to claim they aren't compatible.

thebosstrevor1:
Fake or made up stories.

Like you said, the story is 100% fake.

"Mind blowing" sex does not involve "penetration" alone, but all other pre and post intimacy.

So, if they have done "everything" except "penetration" before marriage, then there's no way they can claim they aren't compatible, because they have already "see finish" before marriage and would have realised this.


I only pity the gullible people that will fall for this fake story.

kay9:


Yup. In fact, both "drivers" and "drivees" need to get down to brass tacks before finalizing the deal.

Yea u gat it...

kay9:


Just one sentence, and I can already surmise that you are not married. Don't worry, experience teaches best.

Continue trying to impose your fantasy on every one.

Lot of Nigerian men are are very conservative and cherish their wives. Any attempt to sleep with their wives might lead to that person death.

punisha:




Move around my brother.
Try and leave aba for once in your life and mingle with other people.
A lot is happening now.
You will be shocked to find out that ur next door neighbor is even bisexual plus trans combined.

You stay at home and shout move around, you think social media is the real world.

The topic is about open marriage

Lets just do an experiment.

Advertise on facebook or even here that you are looking for swingers couples, lets see who will contact you...nobody.

You guys need to go outside and see the real africa, instead of spending all your life clised up in a room.

Juliusmomoh:

Bro u even get dick at all ....... If konji hold u , na then u go understand

That guy na bad wanka

Interesting post OP....

Minsk24:

That guy na bad wanka

I swear...

Everyone with their own

pls what the moral of the story; we should Bleep anyhow?
cus I have been keeping masef

Abstinence from sex includes from kissing, smooching, romance, oral or any other sexual activity. So why would this guy say he practised a lot of oral and then say God failed him?

This is a misleading story.

This is an intriguing interview.

I have come across statements bashing monogamy in the past but this interview has ensured that I will take the argument between monogamy and polygamy more seriously now.

Minsk24:
Interesting post OP....

Baba, how far?

What happened to our weed thread na? I miss it.

Read through that and ended up at the check siggy anthem

ObinnaObinna:


Baba, how far?

What happened to our weed thread na? I miss it.

I swear....

Looks fek