₦airaland Forum

Crispels:
As a Nigerian in the US, I’ve always preferred ending up with a fellow Nigerian because I just love that Naija aura; spirit and energy but most of the Nigerian girls I met when I first arrived here were so cocky, condescending and unapproachable.

However, I think age plays a big factor. If you were born here(a Nigerian - American) or you came here at a relatively young age(below 23), it's somewhat easier to find a life partner. Maybe if you came here for college or grad school - you can easily find a partner while in school.

Nevertheless, many Nigerian girls in America tend to waste their chances by being unrealistic when they are still below the age of 25. Many of them easily look down on people and they play themselves later on. Let me tell you a story. I have this friend of mine who lives in New York - he was born and raised in Naija. He came here for his Master’s and when he first arrived - he wanted a Nigerian girl by all means but most of the Nigerian girls around him then looked down on him. They saw him as a ”fresher” who had a thick accent, weird dressing, and all those kinds of stuff. I had a similar experience with some Nigerian girls too but his own experience was worse. When the guy was struggling in the US - none of these girls offered any friendship/support because they all felt he was not within their illusionary standard. The only people that supported him were the foreigners in his graduate school. But the guy who was talented. He worked hard at Columbia University and he eventually got a top investment job with JP Morgan. This my guy earns ridiculous six figures amount almost every month now. But do you know most of the Naija girls who looked down on him all tried to be friends with him after he was featured by Bloomberg business report? Can you imagine such nonsense! Why did they suddenly find him attractive now?

Well, the guy is currently dating the white girl that stood by him when he first arrived in New York but he still told me last month that he had always preferred a Nigerian babe but life happens. What if those Naija girls had even given him a chance of being their friend? What if they had tried to know him and not just judge him based on his looks as a struggling freshly arrived immigrant?
Nigerian girls in North America keep looking for finished products when they themselves are not in any way ready-made. They want guys that are 6-4 tall, beards, cars, houses, and all of those fleeting things at the same time. It's a wrong mentality to have and that's why most of them are still single. Life is a process. You don't expect men to have achieved 90% of their life goals when you meet them. People grow! A guy may not be muscular today but he can look like Anthony Joshua after spending some months in the gym. People need to understand the fact that life is a process. Then, we can take it from there.


Many of them are also intoxicated with this whole feminist stuff. See, as I am, I can cook by myself and I probably don't need a wife who knows how to cook. But do you know what? I’ve had female friends who are East Africans, black Americans, and whites who cook Nigerian food and give them to me. My friends who date these foreigners enjoy Nigerian food made by these foreign girls.

Yet, our Nigerian ”sisters” will be shouting up and down that it is not their duty to cook in the family. I know how to cook but I also want a wife who is homely. If I don't see these qualities in any girl of Nigerian descent but the qualities are present in a Kenyan girl or a white girl, why should I marry a Nigerian girl? The incentive is not there! Some foreign girls even embody Naija qualities than the so-called Naija girls.

Most times, it is naija ladies that actually pushed naija men to other races and nationality. Your narration about your friend is not uncommon, its the norm abroad. Naija men abroad have to be ready made before our sisters find them attractive enough to date. There are few who do not have that mentality, but good luck finding them.

Instead of this ladies to look at the mirror and check their ways, they will rather convinced themselves with all kind of stuff that abdicate introspection, retrospection, and and responsibility. It had gotten to a point that pointing out these distasteful behaviours is equal to misogyny, chauvinism and any buzzword they can immediately conceive.

Furthermore, there is one aspect that people often gloss over. It is about being fit. I honestly do not know of any beautiful, fit and well mannered Nigerian ladies that is single. They have choices from men of all races. The one that lack suitors are the bad eggs, fat and didn't try to maintain their attractiveness. "If I can't carry you, I can't marry you", that's the code men generally operate by subconsciously, even if they do not consciously affirm. The male brain is attracted to fit and nicely shaped woman, not fat deceiving themselves as plus size lol. Whatever

antocreative:
All ye men here that I bashing Nigerian women make me laugh! I know must of you are washing pant of the so-called white women. Brothers, pls don't pay heed to them! It is far better to marry your fellow Nigerian, except you are not a real man who wants his posterity to live on forever. Checkout men on their old age who married whites back then, do they look happy to you? As for me, I will go back home and marry and I will commit it to the hands of GOD. I wnt my posterity to live on and I dont want to have children who might have identity crises. Most of you talking rubbish about the Nigerian women have never been outside the country before. You also suffer from serious inferiority complex! If you are a true son of the soil, marry from your heritage, it pays in the long run! Forget the flashy white women of the west!

stupid posterity, otedola did not marry a Nigerian, is he not happy? abi he looks sad too you? abeg if you like Naija woman, marry am, leave guys that like AA or caucasian alone, me I just believe marriage is not as important as we make it to seem, if you see who makes you happy regardless of race just marry. But it is not a big deal though.

AristocraticMe:
Lol........... truth be told ......... You are correct. ..... 100%...... though there are good Nigerian women but it is not too many... i think their over entitlement attitude is their problem.

exactly, my Aunty left naija when she was in her early 30’s just 10 years ago, she got married to a Nigerian man, They had a baby, she also finished med school all within this 10 years. The point is, how good is your character, hope you no carry feminism for head like scarf, because i think if you have a good attitude you would get a Nigerian man that would appreciate you.

ziondaughter247:
The weird thing about this thread is that 99% of the guys here are in their face-me-I-face-you sheds in Ojuelegba typing rubbish and thirsting for things they will never have(white girls). The 'socalled' few abroad are either in Vietnam or India or somewhere remote also bashing Nigerian girls. Shame many of our men have condescended to this level. Honestly, from Nairaland posts, I can tell many Nigerian men suffer from extreme inferiority complex. You will think that their mothers and sisters are whites! No matter what you do, black men will continue to be at the lowest rung of the ladder....You are still a 'black monkey' to the average white man, unfortunately! Feel so ashamed reading some of these comments. I wonder how most black men married to whites truly feel. Imagine lying down next to your prized 'oyibo prized' wife and all she thinks in her heart is see this 'black monkey'. What a sad and condescending way to live your life. You will never be enough unfortunately. I have heard this conversations from white women themselves, who are married to black men. Imagine being ashamed to introduce you to family and the public. Unfortunately, white people generally are known to be polite no matter the situation and can hide what they truly think.....Black men that are supposed to be at the forefront of preserving heritage are willing to trade it for a morsel of bread today, just to impress your fellow blacks and villages people. Very sad.....lots of lost heritage! Shame


Don't be pissed off... I just said the truth and nothing but it! And before you come for me, I am very established where I am, not interested at all in lowlifes, especially those Nigerians living in their rat holes 'abroad'!�
So glad ladies on nairaland ignore you people most times. Very few ladies here and lots of inferior men on nairaland

From the start, this composition started with nonsense.

The guys in face-me-I-face-you sheds in Ojuelegba are unlikely to be the ones to be able to afford data to be browsing internet, neither are they likely to be competent in English grammar.

Majority of Nigerians abroad are in North America and Europe, so the odds of them being in Vietnam or India is low.

And the nonsense continues till the end of the composition.

Instead of losing your logical thinking and lashing out. Learn about the behaviours you most likely have that is being highlighted and change these.

Sisipelebe, this is the kind of "piss off" reaction I was referring to here:

Gamesmart:
True.

Conversation when wooing or on a date with a Naija girl is so boring and annoying.

They are bad at it because they think showing they are tough, behaving condescendingly and not interested makes them attractive and be perceived as having high virtue.

And when corrected/given feedback, instead of accepting and correcting these behaviours, they would dismiss it in defiance and demonstrate that if a guy does not like it, he is free to piss off.

Naija guys with options soon learn to piss off and go to where market is good and there is great customer care.

Amumaigwe:
Those living abroad are telling you what obtaines in their clime, but a local girl like you whose fate has been sealed with Nigeria forever but has a disproportionate larger-than- life ego will still argue. This same trait you are displaying is what abroad based bachelors loathe in our ladies. Haba!

Thank you! Gbas gbos!

ziondaughter247:
Even from the posts we see here on nairaland. I put it to you that young naija girls abroad who do marry whites guys, do a much better job than the nigerian men who marry white ladies. Please google and check- it is mostly the Nigerian men that marry old, fat, worn out grannies. Hardly do you see such from the ladies...Hardly! Pls do your research. Nigerian men are more likely to marry 'dregs' of white society than the ladies...Peace out!

BTW, it is condescending to call anyone created by God a 'dreg of society'! God, I'm sorry for using that term!�

Most Naija girls just get pregnant and ask to stay with their citizen children or say "the children grew up here and are used to the country". They are not marrying oyinbo yafun yafun.

The oyinbos they marry (if they find ones to marry them) do not tend to me tall, handsome quarterbacks.

As for dregs, there are people that are dregs of society. I have no apologies to your God for saying that.

Gamesmart:
With all you just said, Bleep NIGERIAN GIRLS!

I would not touch them with a barge-pole.

The quality difference vs AA is just clear!!!

my guy na lie oooo, if AA show you pepper... I believe the other guy is talking about the matured one's of like 40+, if you meet akata of 20+, she go finish you. If you are in your 20’s you fit still do Nigerian babe in her 20’s too na or rather Caucasian

sisipelebe:
LoL. The educated onces are.

They are all still babyfathers.

Nothing Roman about them.

You go get Yardietic and Thugitic.

bezimo:
Na normal mentality with white girls nah..when she likes you..its finished nah. They will do anything.Very genuine in their mentality

Indian girls too, those girls make their move like Kilode!

360command:
lol ! I know a Canadian Nigerian who is a residence doctor in the USA, he is looking for anybody to marry, young or old to get the paper quickly. He renew his papers to work in America at Canada-America border..

For him to get his stay in America, he has to work for a hospital for 4-5 years with a yearly pay of $40,000..

To him, he sees the pay very low, also,he feels he can't wait that long..

he might not be a doctor
not everybody who works in the hospital is a doctor
he might just be packing poo in the hospital and conviniently to u dat he is a doctor cos u see him on scrubs
trust us nigerians nau
dat a certified medical doctor who can practice in canada is now looking for one old mama to marry for papers dat one na big lie
or another he got his medical degree in naija and he was able to go to canada but refused doing any of the certified courses there hence rendering his naija mbbs not usable.most of the nigerianange who run after old grannies for marriage in exchange for papers overseas are mostly the hustlers..not those doing professional jobs.

Gamesmart:
They are all still babyfathers.

Nothing Roman about them.

You go get Yardietic and Thugitic.

Se na my location you dey ntori olorun? Because I said they're romantic now. You want twist the whole thing. Am I not aware that baby daddy & mummy thing is rampart here. Na wetin I see I dey talk. fi mi si le jor

pansophist:
Most times, it is naija ladies that actually pushed naija men to other races and nationality. Your narration about your friend is not uncommon, its the norm abroad. Naija men abroad have to be ready made before our sisters find them attractive enough to date. There are few who do not have that mentality, but good luck finding them.

Instead of this ladies to look at the mirror and check their ways, they will rather convinced themselves with all kind of stuff that abdicate introspection, retrospection, and and responsibility. It had gotten to a point that pointing out these distasteful behaviours is equal to misogyny, chauvinism and any buzzword they can immediately conceive.

Furthermore, there is one aspect that people often gloss over. It is about being fit. I honestly do not know of any beautiful, fit and well mannered Nigerian ladies that is single. They have choices from men of all races. The one that lack suitors are the bad eggs, fat and didn't try to maintain their attractiveness. "If I can't carry you, I can't marry you", that's the code men generally operate by subconsciously, even if they do not consciously affirm. The male brain is attracted to fit and nicely shaped woman, not fat deceiving themselves as plus size lol. Whatever

ziondaughter247, read the bolded.

Nephilim:
overaged with no husband. Most of them their husband is here in Nigeria, hustling to make it lolz! And if we connect them now they will say they are interested in an abroad person, and they keep waxing older. The ladies from those places they went to are still struggling to have a family put together talkless of a stranger from another continent to hijack their man! Lolz and I trust my Nigerian guys in those countries, their eyes are way up!

Anyway I'm open to serious relationship from any serious person among them, don't forget I'm a Nigerian in Nigeria.

hehehehehehehehe

ziondaughter247:
The weird thing about this thread is that 99% of the guys here are in their face-me-I-face-you sheds in Ojuelegba typing rubbish and thirsting for things they will never have(white girls). The 'socalled' few abroad are either in Vietnam or India or somewhere remote also bashing Nigerian girls. Shame many of our men have condescended to this level. Honestly, from Nairaland posts, I can tell many Nigerian men suffer from extreme inferiority complex. You will think that their mothers and sisters are whites! No matter what you do, black men will continue to be at the lowest rung of the ladder....You are still a 'black monkey' to the average white man, unfortunately! Feel so ashamed reading some of these comments. I wonder how most black men married to whites truly feel. Imagine lying down next to your prized 'oyibo prized' wife and all she thinks in her heart is see this 'black monkey'. What a sad and condescending way to live your life. You will never be enough unfortunately. I have heard this conversations from white women themselves, who are married to black men. Imagine being ashamed to introduce you to family and the public. Unfortunately, white people generally are known to be polite no matter the situation and can hide what they truly think.....Black men that are supposed to be at the forefront of preserving heritage are willing to trade it for a morsel of bread today, just to impress your fellow blacks and villages people. Very sad.....lots of lost heritage! Shame


Don't be pissed off... I just said the truth and nothing but it! And before you come for me, I am very established where I am, not interested at all in lowlifes, especially those Nigerians living in their rat holes 'abroad'!�
So glad ladies on nairaland ignore you people most times. Very few ladies here and lots of inferior men on nairaland

Lmao, says the woman who doesn't have no particular idea about anyone called a black monkey, you better get a life and try to gain one or two things from these discussions.

sisipelebe:
Se na my location you dey ntori olorun? Because I said they're romantic now. You want twist the whole thing. Am I not aware that baby daddy & mummy thing is rampart here. Na wetin I see I dey talk. fi mi si le jor

Okay o.

All I know is that many from those communities have a challenge of descending from family lines where there is no history of stable family homes because of slavery and racism that destroyed their family units. Hence many don't know, have not been passed the knowledge and have not seen functional, long-term coupling.

This is why Africans can go to these countries and outperform them in education and achievements. We are still better in stable families.

Obviously not all, but even the educated ones, especially male one who will have so much options because other black males have jail records, are unlikely to know how to stay in stable coupling.

Black girls insist on marrying only black, but too many black men have jail records, hence hard to give the women hypergamy. So educated brothers are 1 to many.

Which man go see awoof and only take 1 naira?

okuta007:
they are scared because they know it is only Naija men that can take their cr a z y drama - the things naija girls do to naija men - if they try it with other races - they fear they may be s ho t

uncle what are the things Nigerian women do? I just pray God bless you with akata woman. You go know say crase get levels. European women are still cool headed, but for Yankee here them craze gan.

360command:
For him to get his stay in America, he has to work for a hospital for 4-5 years with a yearly pay of $40,000..

This is the yearly pay u get as a fresh doctor just after passing your step 1-3 USMLE medical exams and after doing ur medical residency.This cant be the salary of a doctor who has probably practiced for years.My guess here maybe this guy u talking about is a sort of medical assistant in the hospital and is about to write any of the USMLE step exams.A doctor who job is steady doesnt need an old woman to marry for green card.Its just like one dude was telling me that he is a doctor and he is well paid but he want to leave the job and be selling recharge card cos recharge card is a very lucrative business.Some ppl wont even look at the person they want to lie to.ur guy is lying to u jor.

flyca:
Babe, if you have been on NL for sometime now, you would have noticed all the negetivity towards ladies here by the guys, they come under the umbrella of “Red Pills”. “Nigerian girls are bad” “Nigerian girls are bad” buhahaha. Bro!, there are good Nigerian ladies, but you they will not see them because the good ladies are with good Nigerian men! So babe, don't be sad when they bash you here.

Wanting to be married is noble, so whatever trashtalk you read here, do not feel bad for expressing that idea (albeit in a wrong space).

If you are born and raised in Nigeria, if you have the Nigerian thing in you - in my opinion - marrying a well-raised Nigerian man is the better option for you.

Same advice I will give a Nigerian man! But sometimes, “white woman” too dey shaak them! But in the long run, it is better to marry someone from your own culture and background. Someone that you will not feel inferior to, someone that will not feel that marrying them is a privilege, someone that deeply understands you, someone that you share a cultural connection with, someone that you will not constantly be under pressure to impress, someone that understands the meaning of marriage the way you understand it etc

See eh, it's not even only Nigeria to Nigeria, every country to every country, every culture to every culture or at least similar. Not someone that has different customs, different food and lifestyle, different values, different parentage. If you watch TLC's 90 Day Fiance, you will notice that most clashes are cultural not financial.

I met my Nigerian husband abroad. I had options from other countries and I am sure he had other “white girl” options too. But we decided to be with each other and it has turned to be a very good decision for me. We get to experience new things from the same perspective of life (travel, food, language you name it). If our passports are getting rejected at the airport, they are rejecting both of us TOGETHER!

The first time I met my in-laws eh ...... PEACE. Whenever my mom-in-law speaks Igbo to me, I feel a deep connection. Well, this is my own cent!

I feel u. RootinG for BeSt Of both worlds person which would most likely fall into category of educated AfRican. Colonialism is a blessing in Disguise. We finally get to experience both cultures

I sense character Wise here...most of them are feminist too bad Hussle baby daddy when you still have time....or hit on me I have 10 for u

Crispels:
As a Nigerian in the US, I’ve always preferred ending up with a fellow Nigerian because I just love that Naija aura; spirit and energy but most of the Nigerian girls I met when I first arrived here were so cocky, condescending and unapproachable.

However, I think age plays a big factor. If you were born here(a Nigerian - American) or you came here at a relatively young age(below 23), it's somewhat easier to find a life partner. Maybe if you came here for college or grad school - you can easily find a partner while in school.

Nevertheless, many Nigerian girls in America tend to waste their chances by being unrealistic when they are still below the age of 25. Many of them easily look down on people and they play themselves later on. Let me tell you a story. I have this friend of mine who lives in New York - he was born and raised in Naija. He came here for his Master’s and when he first arrived - he wanted a Nigerian girl by all means but most of the Nigerian girls around him then looked down on him. They saw him as a ”fresher” who had a thick accent, weird dressing, and all those kinds of stuff. I had a similar experience with some Nigerian girls too but his own experience was worse. When the guy was struggling in the US - none of these girls offered any friendship/support because they all felt he was not within their illusionary standard. The only people that supported him were the foreigners in his graduate school. But the guy who was talented. He worked hard at Columbia University and he eventually got a top investment job with JP Morgan. This my guy earns ridiculous six figures amount almost every month now. But do you know most of the Naija girls who looked down on him all tried to be friends with him after he was featured by Bloomberg business report? Can you imagine such nonsense! Why did they suddenly find him attractive now?

Well, the guy is currently dating the white girl that stood by him when he first arrived in New York but he still told me last month that he had always preferred a Nigerian babe but life happens. What if those Naija girls had even given him a chance of being their friend? What if they had tried to know him and not just judge him based on his looks as a struggling freshly arrived immigrant?
Nigerian girls in North America keep looking for finished products when they themselves are not in any way ready-made. They want guys that are 6-4 tall, beards, cars, houses, and all of those fleeting things at the same time. It's a wrong mentality to have and that's why most of them are still single. Life is a process. You don't expect men to have achieved 90% of their life goals when you meet them. People grow! A guy may not be muscular today but he can look like Anthony Joshua after spending some months in the gym. People need to understand the fact that life is a process. Then, we can take it from there.


Many of them are also intoxicated with this whole feminist stuff. See, as I am, I can cook by myself and I probably don't need a wife who knows how to cook. But do you know what? I’ve had female friends who are East Africans, black Americans, and whites who cook Nigerian food and give them to me. My friends who date these foreigners enjoy Nigerian food made by these foreign girls.

Yet, our Nigerian ”sisters” will be shouting up and down that it is not their duty to cook in the family. I know how to cook but I also want a wife who is homely. If I don't see these qualities in any girl of Nigerian descent but the qualities are present in a Kenyan girl or a white girl, why should I marry a Nigerian girl? The incentive is not there! Some foreign girls even embody Naija qualities than the so-called Naija girls.

Let me even tell you my experience. While I was in Canada, after I dropped out in 200 level at McMaster University then, I was introduced to a Nigerian lady by the Nigerian woman I was staying with then so that we could marry for papers. Can you believe she was so rude she told me she had another Nigerian guy she wanted to marry to give him papers. When I saw the guy, he was the so called Alpha male, a rough street guy that most Nigerian girls love in Nigeria, that was probably fvcking her good SMH. It confirmed why I never had a Nigerian girlfriend after 200 level in University abroad then. Our ladies need to do better, I don't have to be a rough so called Alpha male to get favours from you. I rest my case.

tonyson010:
Now u made me curious on this. Y are some guys regretting marrying African ladies abroad?

... Nija girls are messed up both side it's all luck

The reason is that most nigeria girl here in US dont want to leave their state of resident and they want a man to move to them. Na the koko be that oooo

sisipelebe:
Most fine white boys don't find black women attractive, but few of them do. They prefer Latina, Asia or their own people. But white girls date black guys big time and the reason is because black men knows how to drill.

lol thank God a lady said this o. But na all black men sabi drill

Expatriates earnings between 5k to 10k usd a month on the average in 9ja all seem to be marry olosho or women of low class. Because those ones will worship them, have bdsm, anal, swinging and orgy. Yet some ladies are bashing 9ja men for marrying old whites. Both are looking for papers and money. Na
from olosho work maheeda met her husband lol

Mbdovey:
I don't know why most men keep saying marriage is not important. What happened when you're old? who will stand by you? Who will take care of you? We all need each other. In as much as marriage is not the ultimate, it's very important.

If i find a good way around this, I'm definitely staying single.

Mbdovey:
@lionlee216, Nice explaination
Thanks for sharing. Especially the last paragraph.

Most Nigerian men who claim that they prefer to marry or have relationships with African Americans or Whites is because as their culture allows they are very gullible and easy to have sex with or marry for Green Cards.

But as years goes by a number of them don't last with those women because what most of the Nigerian men can get away with Nigerians they cannot and will not try such with the AA or Whites.

I want to join the list... pls add me

sisipelebe:
Don't mind them, the same Nigerian men won't let one rest here. So many of them on my list.. But on nairaland they talk trash about Nigerian women abroad. But in reality they will be begging us they want to wife a Nigerian woman.Saying the AA women are not Marraigable.

No, I am talking about the responsible ones that have their correct papers (permanent residency) and a stable job in Canada

azmanaty02:
Are you talking of the Nigerian men that are always killing their Nigerian wives?

Yankee101:
If you're female I'll advise you sort out marriage before travelling abroad

Men have options. Women? Not so much. And sometimes they try so hard and end up sleeping with a guy in the hope he'll propose, they break up, he tells other naija guys, she tries another one, cycle continues etc

That's not true though.

Nigerian women abroad also have the same options as Nigerian men abroad do.

Most Nigerian women who live abroad and have develop an opened mind to date outside the Nigerian circle tend to have more peaceful and lasting relationship because these men don't treat like second class or slaves like how most Nigerian men treat Nigerian women as a whole.

Beautyaddy:
That's not true though.

Nigerian women abroad also have the same options as Nigerian men abroad do.

Most Nigerian women who live abroad and have develop an opened mind to date outside the Nigerian circle tend to have more peaceful and lasting relationship because these men don't treat like second class or slaves like how most Nigerian men treat Nigerian women as a whole.

Akata is in jail or has 3 baby mamas,

Latino dey do Latino

Oyinbo men dey do Oyinbo or Asian

Asian men dey do Asian

Who she wan go follow?

We're talking of marriage not dating.

Na which country you dey report from?

Mbdovey:
But I thought it's not allowed to beat up your spouse? You mean there's domestic violence there?

Yes, it's a crime but some men out of uncontrolled anger still beat up their spouses but they do not get way with it like in Nigeria.

Those men are faced with police and court charges which in the long term affects their record to get any meaningful jobs or high positions with job opportunities.

Yankee101:
Akata is in jail or has 3 baby mamas,

Latino dey do Latino

Oyinbo men dey do Oyinbo or Asian

Asian men dey do Asian

Who she wan go follow?

We're talking of marriage not dating.

Na which country you dey report from?

Are you joking or just displaying ignorance to please yourself

So there are no Asians, Oyinbo or Latino men married to Nigerian women

Go and get yourself more exposed and learn that Most Nigerians women of the younger generation no long are desperate to marry Nigerian men who most of the time are labeled wife abuser.

There are other African men that Nigeria women are getting married to in doves lately.